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Welcome, friends, to the Bee Movie thread. I know what you're thinking in the brains. Why are you watching Bee Movie? Why are you doing this? You can't be doing it because you enjoy it, because this film does not produce happiness or satisfaction. Watching this is not a good decision. Instead, you should make another decision, one less bad. To that I can only say: no, rear end in a top hat. This film is a testament to something or other.  My honesty must stay above reproach, so I will make two opening statements: 1. I cannot remember this movie whatsoever, though I am pretty sure the entire thing was playing in my vicinity or something? I'm going in semi-cold. 2. You will learn a lot about bees here, or a lot about what bees are not and what they do not do. This is because I am going to sperg about it when it comes up, which is basically all the time. This is what I know about this movie's production, history, and general background: Jerry Seinfeld apparently wrote a lot of these bee puns, according to someone in the animation megathread. This level of ignorance is, for me, unusual, because I am seriously batshit for animation and know far too much about many obscure animated films, including ones I hate. Bee Movie was fairly mainstream, so why did it pass under my radar? The answer is because I felt bad for everyone who was involved in this massive wad of poo poo garbage and thought that it was my responsibility as a kind person to keep at a minimum the number of humans who have seen this film. What made me change my tune? Existential embitterment. Okay, okay. There's more to it than that. Bee Movie is remembered for being bizarre and yet unremarkable, widely-seen and yet unseen, artful and yet ugly. What is this mystery? What happened here that we don't understand? Note: Having now achieved the halfway point of the film, I can assure you that this is the most loving bewildering thing I have ever seen. Chapter 1: barf farts  Backpfeifengesicht, "a face in need of a fist." Look at this loving bee! I've never wanted to punch a bee so loving bad in my life and all he's doing is choosing sweaters. And they're all black and yellow... OR YELLOW AND BLACK, HAHA! That is the first joke in this film. They use honey as hair product and mouthwash, and they eat it. He has parents, apparently? I am not going to go deeply into this, because we all know some basic things about bees, but okay. They're establishing here that bees do not obey the biologically accurate "one queen as hive mother" structure. This is important because I am 100% sure this will be contradicted at some point or otherwise confused. Also, minor but important point, worker bees are all female and all sisters. Their brothers, the drones, do not work and exist only to mate and die. So as everyone knows, it's stupid that the main bee is a worker and male. But you know what? What were you loving expecting? He, like the Bug's Life ants, also has four limbs. That's wrong. He has irises, that's wrong. He has fingers and not claws, that's wrong. He has these really teeth that are just one white band, like Disney princess teeth. That's wrong, too. But you knew this going in. This was on the poster. The movie was not called Accurate Bees. So basic bee poo poo you have to let go. Anyway, he can use his antenna as a radio with his best friend or something. I bet they forget about this later when it would be important. These bees eat doughnuts and, like, fruit or something? His parents' house is motherfucking huge, too, which I don't get. They make a point of how many bees there are, but they all have huge open houses for each family? How big is this hive? Apparently our main character took a "day" to roam the hive (when highschool/college/etc are "three days" apiece, so they're giving them what they think are bee-like lifespans. European honeybees, Apis mellifera, the social bee we're all familiar with, grows to adulthood in 21 days so this is not too far off.) He meets his apparent best friend in a car (even though bees can fly, and he's shown flying in the house?) They're headed onto their college graduation. Oh, instead of "hair gel" it's "fuzz gel". Is that a joke? Bees have hairs. It's okay. You get to call them that. Hairs. On the way there, our main bee whose name I am already forgetting cracks wise about an old friend dying when he stung a squirrel. Oh, also male bees don't have stingers. But again nobody cares so I don't either. I bet it's a plot point, but I'm more taken by the fact that our main bee here is such a flippant poo poo about one of his friends dying ("He was such a hothead"). You should see his eyebrows here. Those are the eyebrows of Stalin as he sets execution quotas for various districts of the USSR. Now that these two have graduated, they need jobs. Bees work for "Honex", because company names end in "X". There's a joke about Spanish language, so apparently these bees truly are speaking English.  The background has an extremely pleasing design and color palette. Nothing else is good here. Pollen "jocks" bring pollen in, unlike in reality where this is done by female bees alone. This does feel misogynistic to me, especially since these pollen "jocks" are so masculinized. More on this later. There's a really weird joke here, where the friend bee says to main character bee, who I will call Blue because I can't remember his real name, that the girl behind him is hot. Blue says, "She's my cousin!" and the friend is all, "She is?" ... To which Blue responds, "Yes! We're all cousins!" This really makes no sense. In a real hive, all workers and drones are sisters (though due to haplodiploidy... ahh gently caress it, they're all siblings, okay?) But these bees are shown to have non-queen parents. So for all the bees in that age class to be cousins, there'd have to be a one-child policy in this hive, China-style. At best your population would halve every year. But yeah, a joke vaguely about incest is more important than the movie making sense so let's go. (This would also mean his parents, his parents' parents, and his-- ahh poo poo you get the problem. Either bee cousins do it all the time, in which case it wouldn't be taboo, or the movie doesn't care and the movie doesn't care so okay.) The graduated bees continue their factory tour. They learn that they can choose the job they take, but they have to work the job forever. In reality, bees take different tasks over the course of their lifespan. Also there are no vacations (something mentioned earlier. But if there's no such thing as a vacation, why remark upon it? Why is it a phenomenon they seem to understand?) Our bee Blue (oh and his friend is Adam) is happy that he only needs to make "one decision in life", but Blue doesn't like the idea, even though bee society is supposedly "perfect". Bee cars are fueled with honey, by the way. We see the pollen jocks again. They're basically Top Gun style "fighter pilot" types. They're apparently the only bees who leave the hive, even though, again in Reality Land, female workers do this once they reach a certain age class. Whatever, these MACHO-rear end MANLY BEES go out to collect pollen like hoorah he-men of beedom. hunf grunt grunt fuckers  At least they remembered to have the pollen jocks collect nectar too. Here's another thing that gets to me. Adam and Blue are watching the pollen jocks take ordered to a grizzled general bee. But if you choose one job and work it forever, does that mean he started as a general? He just got to be a general and now coincidentally he's old? We saw the dean bee earlier. Did he graduate and then--bip!--he's dean? Lady bees are crushing on the pollen jocks, and then Adam and Blue crush on said ladies. "Aren't they our cousins too?" "Distant, distant." Oh so the movie realizes it's violating its own logic constantly. Maybe that's reassuring. Blue is pretending to be a pollen jock to impress the ladies. The pollen jocks notice and come over, and to "mess with him" they pretend that Blue and Adam really are pollen jocks. They ask Blue to go with them on their next round outside the hive. He seems to be considering it. It then cuts and we see him looking out over his family's balcony (how does this fit in with the flat suburban area we saw earlier?) and the scenery really is lovely. His dad comes up to him and tells him the virtues of bee culture. You knew this scene would happen, and you know exactly how it progresses without me explaining it to you. There's always this scene in this kind of movie. (His father is a stirrer, by the way.) There's a vaguely racist joke about things he's saying he could do to disappoint his parents, including "shacking up with a grasshopper, [or] getting a gold tooth and callin' everybody 'dawg'". How would he ever have seen a grasshopper? They don't enter beehives. This is not Bug's Life; there's no species heterogeniety here. Also, is there a bee urban culture? If all bees have the same opportunity to choose the job they'll take, then how could you have this kind of broad social--ahh gently caress it. I guess it just bugs me when jokes don't make sense in their own universe. Hah, bugs! (Bees are not bugs. They are Hymenoptera, not Hemiptera.) Blue and Adam go to the job desk!  It's revealed that jobs open when the bees who were previously in those positions die. Okay, makes sense.  Some available jobs. Adam is all up in this--he really wants to work this stupid joke job from earlier in the film (catching the last drop from the honey bottle)--but Blue seems panicky. Oh god, Blue's name is "Barry." Like Jerry, but with a.... BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB! Blue--I'm still calling his Blue--runs off and goes to fly outside with the pollen jocks, like we knew he would. They're told to watch out because "bees can't fly in the rain." We're also told "Bee Law #1: No talking to humans!" It is a thing apparently they could do, but aren't supposed to. Why? Maybe we shall find out, or maybe the movie doesn't care. This really does add an element of surprise, when everything's so ill-defined that you don't sense directionality from the film. Pick fucked around with this message at 05:40 on Apr 11, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 02:05
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Chapter 2: neewww yoorkkkkkk These bees are from Central Park, we discover. He says "fuh-lowwwww-wahs!" in a voice exactly as annoying as you know it is. Bees collect nectar with creepy tongue-guns. Well, they had to do something. If these hosed up creepy bees were sucking out nectar with their faces, this would mentally destroy children and adults. Blue and the pollen jocks fly in formation over Central Park and collect nectar and spread pollen. (Bees eat pollen as well as spread it, by the way. It provides nutrients that nectar alone cannot.) Anyway, the pollen jocks see something yellow--like a flower! They go down to investigate!  Yep, tennis balls! This would kind of make sense if Blue were the one responsible for the mistake, but the pollen jocks? Haven't they seen yellow things that aren't flowers before? Such as a bunch of yellow poo poo we passed in the earlier scene? Hell, haven't they seen tennis balls? This is supposed to be their "turf" and it contains a loving tennis court soooooo, again, gently caress it, okay-- Blue gets stuck to the ball, and then he gets bounced out into the streets of New York City by one of the tennis players, one of whom is voiced by Patrick Warburton, which is the best thing that has happened so far. Then Blue goes through a car engine and somehow survives. And ends up inside the car (wha?), where the passengers immediately flip the gently caress out. He escapes through the sunroof, but this is supposed to show us the dark reality of bee-human tension. Oh, look, now he even says that. Now it starts raining, so he won't be able to fly. He gets hit by a water droplet and lands on a woman's windowsill. Oh, it's the female of the male-and-female tennis pair. Wait one loving second! How did they get home so fast? Like one, maybe two minutes have passed here. Speedy athletes. Like Jedi. Anyway, Blue gets caught inside the room when the window is closed. He mistakes the lightbulb near the ceiling for the sun, even though there's artificial lighting in the hive back home. Still no one cares. He's a paper abstract regarding bee phototaxis: quote:Division of labor in honey bee colonies is influenced by the foraging gene (Amfor), which encodes a cGMP-dependent protein kinase (PKG). Amfor upregulation in the bee brain is associated with the age-related transition from working in the hive to foraging for food outside, and cGMP treatment (which increases PKG activity) causes precocious foraging. We present two lines of evidence in support of the hypothesis that Amfor affects division of labor by modulating phototaxis. We first show that a subset of worker bees involved in the removal of corpses from the hive had forager-like brain levels of Amfor brain expression despite being middle aged; age-matched food-handlers, who do not leave the hive to perform their job, had low levels of Amfor expression. This finding suggests that occupations that involve working outside the hive are associated with high levels of Amfor in brain. Secondly, foragers were much more positively phototactic than hive bees in a laboratory assay, and cGMP treatment caused a precocious onset of positive phototaxis. The cGMP effect was not due to a general increase in behavioral activity; cGMP treatment had no effect on locomotor activity under either constant darkness or a light:dark regime. The cGMP effect also was not due to changes in circadian rhythmicity; cGMP treatment had no effect on age at onset of locomotor circadian rhythmicity or the period of rhythmicity. The effects of Amfor on phototaxis are not related to peripheral processing; electroretinogram analysis revealed no effect of cGMP treatment on photoreceptor activity and no differences between untreated hive bees and foragers. The cAMP/PKA pathway does not appear to be playing a similar role to cGMP/PKG in the honey bee; cAMP treatment did not affect phototaxis and gene expression analysis revealed task-related differences only for the gene encoding the regulatory subunit, but not the catalytic subunit, of PKA. Our findings implicate one neural process associated with honey bee division of labor that can be affected by naturally occurring changes in the expression of AMFOR: In sum, he has no bee reasons to react this way. But it's an idiot movie for shitheads so whatever.  Blue is almost eaten when he falls into some dip. The humans notice in time, so they fling him down and flip out some more. I'm just going to say that as much as people rag on Dreamworks, their animation is usually first-rate. But this movie, like Shark Tale, looks bizarrely amateurish in parts. Those humans look no better in motion than they do in this screenshot. What the hell? Why would this look worse than Shrek? What loving intern was beaten to create this? Anyway, Patrick Warburton (hereon referred to as Patrick regardless of what his character's name is) tries to kill Blue with some "winter boots" that he had out even though it's summer. But! Blue is saved by Patrick's lady tennis friend (?). Patrick exclaims, "You know I'm allergic to bees! He could kill me [something something]", to which she replies, "Well, why is his life less valuable than yours?" I see in this two things: 1. Foreshadowing. Patrick will get stung. Chekov's fatal bee rear end. 2. Um, because he's a bee, lady. Also, he's apparently someone important to you (married? maybe?) so of course his life should come first. Especially since she doesn't know bees can talk and probably thinks of them as BEEEES. Bees who could kill her husband(?)/friend? Luckily, Patrick replies with what I have to agree is totally defensible level of audacity.  She rips up a brochure that her husboyfriend just made for his job application and uses it to slip under the glass so she can put Blue outside. Patrick's upset, and why wouldn't he be? There was literally no advantage to ripping that. It made the paper no more useful, and there was other paper around that Patrick probably wouldn't care about. Frankly I think this was a huge dick move on her part. Romantic music plays as she carries Blue to the window. Don't put bees in your vagina! Pick fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Mar 17, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 02:27
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This is probably the best analysis of Bee Movie I'll ever read. I've never seen Bee Movie. I probably never will.
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Mar 17, 2013 02:43
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Chapter 3: vag bees It opens with mopey bee the next mopey mornin'  This movie does have a gentle, old-fashioned color palette for the backgrounds. "She saved my life! I gotta say something!" (... and... disobey... BEE LAW?!) He zips around her face like a creepy stalker. He frets about talking to her the same way a creepy loser rear end in a top hat guy frets about talking to ANY WOMAN. She is shocked that the bee can talk. She assumes that she's dreaming, and then she doesn't think she is, or does she? This progression isn't really clear. Oh my god, she stabs herself with a loving fork?! To ensure she's awake?! Holy poo poo! Wait, and then she's all... ew, this is really gross and uncomfortable. The point is that this is supposed to be awkward, but this is different than that kind of awkward. But it cuts to them having a nice, generic conversation. Except it's still creepy. But then he's unloading about his life and it seems like an imposition when the idea is for him to thank her. But weeny guys are like this so it's not out of character. Then we find out this woman wants to be a florist, but her parents are pushing her to be a "doctor or a lawyer". So I guess we know her arc now. Blue references a "queen" who was elected through a democratic process?! HEEZ JESUS WHAT THE gently caress? If your character's entire arc is about his conflict with his society can you PLEASE loving DEFINE his society? I mean I get that it's "our" society, but it's also not, they're also loving bees, just make it clear what the hell is going on!! A repairman overhears her talking to the bee, but doesn't see the bee. Oh poo poo, there's romantic music again, this is insanely revolting. Look at this bee's character design. Look at this bee's design! Imagine it making bedroom eyes? Did your DICK just SHRIVEL!? Did it?! Did your snatch go Sahara? Because mine loving did! Blue asks for a piece of the sponge cake. He puts it into pockets in his sweater, though it looks like he's shoving it into his ribs. The old man falls off the ladder, which is apparently hilarious. Then we see a bee test some sort of drag chute, which causes him bodily harm. Double the laugh laugh! Blue returns and it's like he never left. But almost a day has passed. We've established that to these bees, a day is equivalent to a year. So really he's been missing for fart fart fart Apparently bees find spiders attractive "with the eight legs and all", except Blue doesn't agree. What is this representing, really? Fetishization of "exotic" persons and cultures? Is this the equivalent of Blue saying he doesn't like Asian women or something? What am I supposed to get out of this? And if they don't leave the hive, where are they seeing spiders? Oh, apparently there's bee TV. But if only pollen jocks leave the hive, then where are they filming spiders? Are spiders allowed into the hive for filming? How are they paid? Spiders don't eat honey. Are they fed on... THE DEAD? It doesn't matter because the movie doesn't care. Blue admits to Adam that he's in love with Vanessa. "She understands me!" oh my god what a whinging little turd Dear guys, do not be THIS guy. We loving HATE this guy. One conversation and you're sooo in love because only ~we~ understand ~you~ and your ~*~troubled heart~*~ and *---*complicated problems*---*. baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarffff Then Blue shoves his crumb of sponge cake into Adam's mouth to convince him human society is good. Adam goes nuts for it, calls it "stripey". That's like bee talk for "good" even though bees. speak. English. Adam shoves Blue into a random room.  I just want to take a second to point out that the wings are all hosed up. For one thing, bee forewings are bound to their hindwings by a series of velcro-like attachments known as hamuli. So there shouldn't be a gap there. Also, hymenopteran wing venation is super super super motherfucking diagnostic so no you can't just scribble them around like loving Jackson Pollock! How are you going to tell ichneumonids from braconids without the horsehead?! I mean yes fine this is Apis mellifera and so you don't have to resort to the 1/Rs+M but it cheeses me off like nuts. But they have eyebrows and no ocelli so WHAT FINE OKAY. Adam makes the point that "There's US and there's THEM!" Yes so the loving point of the film is going to be that we're all bees. There is also probably slash fanart of these bees. If you find it please post it in the thread. I have become disillusioned with life and need to believe that there are still mysteries and wonders that lie in a world beyond logic or reason. Also it's hilarious. Pick fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Apr 11, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 02:58
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Never seen this movie but that last screen with the pointing woman is frightening. Some of the worst character design I've ever seen. The write-up is great so far, as well!
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Mar 17, 2013 03:03
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The only reason I watched Bee Movie or any other Dreamworks animated films is because my cousin was one of their in-house character designers.  Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he's the one that gave the world the Dreamworks Face.
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Mar 17, 2013 03:11
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Android Bicyclist posted:The only reason I watched Bee Movie or any other Dreamworks animated films is because my cousin was one of their in-house character designers. Dreamworks artbooks are a triumph, even when the movies aren't. That said, the best Dreamworks film still has the best artbook as well (Kung Fu Panda). Interestingly, there is a Bee Movie artbook, but no Shark Tale artbook.
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Mar 17, 2013 03:14
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Yeah, I've seen my cousin's art and he's been a huge influence on my life, but when I see the movies he's worked on I sometimes go  .To be fair, he's not involved with the story writing at all either.
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Mar 17, 2013 03:33
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I remember watching this but not whether I saw it in a theater or at home or what 90% of the plot is about.
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Mar 17, 2013 03:42
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Chapter 4: some sort of stupid rear end daydream sequence you know how sometimes you promise yourself that there are words that have so much cultural baggage that they are wrong and should never be used but sometimes there's still that moment where it's the only word you can think of to describe someone and you just want that word so so so bad more than you have ever wanted anything and it makes you feel like a bad person? So then Blue is wearing dumb glasses in some sort of hot-tub as his parents talk to him, in what I'm assuming now is a daydream sequence, since we just ended with a transition from... him being reclined in a chair and some sort of chant and this happened like 20 seconds ago and my brain is already rejecting it.  Eww. And yeah, daydream sequence (after his parents reaming him for being a jobless loser, which actually apparently happened. So I guess this film is also part of the Manchild Defense Programme for the Ruthlessly Entitled). Oh god and they're playing "Sugar, Sugar" by the loving Archies, which is legally a form of assault. She swats and kills a mosquito and they laugh and laugh, even though we've established that other arthropods, such as spiders, are apparently also sentient. Oh god, or what if they're not!? What if bees want to gently caress spiders and spiders are just... spiders?! That's rape! Then Blue imagines Vanessa doing this disgustingly sexualized "You comin'  ?" thing and then getting into an ultralight. "Aaaalllll set!" Ugh, it's horrifically repugnant and vile when Vanessa is portrayed as a normal woman with hopes and dreams and she gets converted into some sort of wish-fulfillment sex object in the mind of some jobless poo poo bee. It's offensive."Don't be too laaaaaoongggg   " (and Sugar, Sugar is still playing). But then the ultralight crashes in his dream and explodes. That part's okay.Now Blue runs off to see Vanessa again. They are asking each other questions. She wants to enter the Tournament of Roses. Humans have TiVo, but bees have Hive-o! But it's a disease, haha! ... I am not a bee expert, so I cannot say that I am aware of all diseases of the European honeybee, but unless corrected, I am going to assert that this is not a thing. Which makes the joke... not a joke, really? It's like referential humor, but to a ... thing that doesn't exist? God, at least Shark Tale referenced, like, things that were ... things. A man on the street exhibits Bee Racism. (He's not aware the bee can talk though, it's generic bee racism.) Vanessa and Blue continue on their way to, uh, apparently a grocery store. Vanessa is of course Very Understanding to his plight. Oh, it must be so hard to be a bee! People are so mean!! Oh my god, he says bees work through anger like any other emotion--"anger, jealousy,  --lust." That is the face he makes when he says that. That is a screenshot of THAT MOMENT. I never thought I would be nostalgic for the beginning of this film. Anyway, a dude in the store hits the bee with a rolled-up magazine. Which is so loving justified that I can't put it into words. Then Vanessa takes the rolled magazine and beats the man in the face with it repeatedly. Blue remarks that he lost a cousin to an "issue of Italian Vogue", which means one of his cousins was a pollen jock, but of course he was because they're all cousins, so why would he feel inclined to mention ah gently caress who cares. Afterwards, Blue gets back up... and as he flies upward... he sees...  Honey is for sale in stores! Blue flips his poo poo when he finds out about this, because it is STEALING!!! Bees make honey!!! But it's in STORES!!! Human STORES!!! It must be STOLEN!!!!!! I don't know how that follows at all. My original home county is famous for grass seed. Check this poo poo out:  When I see bags of grass seed at Home Depot, I don't assume it was loving stolen. I assume it was part of, oh, poo poo, what's it called, hrrmrmrgbohgo... the exchange of goods and services, as in any economy? Now okay, that must be difficult if bees and humans can't talk to one another (BEE LAW). But since we share the same language as bees (ENGLISH! and some Spanish, as we saw earlier), I think it's reasonable to assume that yeah well maybe we do communicate. I mean, do we know BEE LAW for domestic hives, as opposed to naturalized ones? How does he know that other bee societies engage with humans in the same way? Again, why would you assume that because something is produced in one place, if it is found in some other place it's the result of theft? Also, how does he know that only bees make honey? Because I've got a secret for you. Humans can (and do!) make honey too  . My grandma showed me how to use sugar and boiled clover and oh god we're country folk help help y'all help(Technically, there are labeling laws and real honey combined with artificial "honey" is "honey syrup". But you'd be amazed how much "honey" you use isn't pure honey at all. Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that Blue has no reason to assume this did not come from Ray Liotta's disgorged flower juice.) Pick fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Mar 17, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 03:44
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Chapter 5: and then the dumbest thing yet happens So in order to go "undercover" (and apparently... not look like a bee?) Blue puts stripes on his face and covers the terminal yellow stripe of his bee rear end. Note this for being completely irrelevant. It adds nothing and there was no reason for him to do it. He's trying to find out where the honey comes from. The grocery store worker who hit him with the rolled magazine is stocking the store (with honey of course, since that poo poo flies off the shelves like crack), and is already certain bees can talk for some reason and to him it's not even, like, a thing.  If someone asks you "Do you remember that movie where a bee fights a Mexican?" they are talking about this. I can't even bring myself to talk about this, suffice to say that a bee and a clerk duel with sdufhslrfhsh sduihfhfgihfrhiugruhgrhio gruhghgjiogijogrig anyway the bee wins and the grocery store guy informs him that honey comes from "Honey Farms". sigh And of course the truck is leaving... that second! It's a chaaaase!  You'll notice his rear end is back to black and yellow. On his way through an alley, he gets hit with steam that removes the black ink, thus rendering it still pointless. It added nothing at any point. If someone asks you about the movie where a bee chases down a truck that would also be this film. And it's a good thing he catches that truck, too, because we were long overdue for another racist caricature (2 minutes).  Blue launches himself in front of the truck and hits the windshield, where he meets (among a variety of other insects), a mosquito voiced by Chris Rock. I am not kidding when I say that the movie implies that mosquitoes are the "black people" of the insect world. This character and all he implies is so boldly and shamelessly racist that it is difficult to believe he was included in any storyboard, much less the final cut, of this film. Especially since... do you remember that stupid-rear end daydream earlier with Vanessa acting like a moron? Do you remember where I mentioned she slaps a mosquito and they just laugh and laugh and laugh? Ha ha! Killing black people! Hilarious! I wish I had the script for this film so I could just post this dialogue. Our mosquito friend says, "I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!" From this point onward, he is referred to as Mooseblood. Which, yes, is implied to be narcotic for mosquitoes. So it's like having your one representative "black" character be a drifter named Crack who is on a quest for crack so he can do some crack. I am naming him Crack now. Also male mosquitoes don't take a blood meal but gently caress it. They also usually have pectinate antennae (not filamentous) but the racism is so distracting I almost missed it! Pick fucked around with this message at 06:02 on Mar 17, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 04:22
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Why is it Ray Liotta's honey. Why is it Ray Liotta's honey? What does Ray Liotta have to do with anything? I guess that is a mystery to be revealed.
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Mar 17, 2013 04:25
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Android Bicyclist posted:Yeah, I've seen my cousin's art and he's been a huge influence on my life, but when I see the movies he's worked on I sometimes go Ain't no shame in a paycheck. computer parts posted:I remember watching this but not whether I saw it in a theater or at home or what 90% of the plot is about. I too am pretty sure I have seen this, which is weirding me out since I don't remember anything I'm seeing. The Steak Justice posted:Why is it Ray Liotta's honey. This movie has a so far excellent track record of internal logic so I am confident that will happen and is not just loving pointless.
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Mar 17, 2013 04:26
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Why is this film suddenly loving everywhere? Did the entire internet have a Bee Movie day that I somehow missed? Why am I so pumped for a Bee Movie thread?
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Mar 17, 2013 04:37
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This write up is hilarious so far, and you flipping out over the bee facts being wrong is killing me. I can't wait til you get to the plane crashing 
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Mar 17, 2013 05:02
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Chapter 6: chris rock why The dudes in the truck turned on the windshield wipers, resulting in some pointless "action" or whatever. It results in our bee sitting with Crack in the little horn-lookin' thing on the truck. This is only a change of setting, since they're just continuing the conversation from the windshield in exactly the same way. The windshield wiper's activation accomplished nothing from a storytelling point of view, aside from wasting our time. Blue explains to Crack that he is trying to find the source of the honey in stores. He wants justice for bees. Anyway, then this poo poo happens: quote:Crack: Bees hang tight! Take a moment. Process that. Really swish it around in your mouth. Digest it. Savor it. Mosquitoes (black people) don't have a "close community". They're inherently "in trouble". Nobody likes them. Their women want to "trade up". This is supposed to be really, really funny, so I hope you are laughing, guys, because this is super hilarious, guys I am super gratified that between Will Smith in Shark Tale and Chris Rock in Bee Movie and Madagascar (DUN NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH AFRO CIRCUS) that this studio is taking a firm stand on the issue of casual racism and having it all over the loving place.  Crack then sees a bloodmobile and jumps over to it. Maybe we won't see him again; I have no idea because I don't remember. Blue continues on to the honey farm alone. This brings me to a part of the film I had to watch twice (augh why) because it is so brazenly inaccurate. It is like... Hotel for Dogs level bullshit. Just like the ASPCA gets a profoundly negative rap for absolutely no justified reason, beekeepers here are basically prison warden Nazi villains. You really need to (don't) watch this part of the film, because the degree to which it is overdone and overemphasized cannot be overstated. The level of hyperbole is, like, exhausting to watch. We see two beekeepers cackle for no reason. I know a lot of apiologists, and let me assure you that they do not spend their time regaling in how evil they are and how much suffering they can and do impose on the organisms in their lab. That is for acrologists. (HA HA HA HA oh man i am killing it in here that is such a great joke. take that sickass burn, tick and mite specialists!!!) Read this in your best That Kid in Theater Who Thinks He's Great but is Actually Embarrassing Himself (x2) voice: quote:
Ugh, there's so much I could talk about here but I don't know how much I care. It makes sense that they'd think bees were stupid, because individual bees are loving dumb as rocks. Yeah, "bees" as a social unit can count and they can interpolate and honestly they can do a number of amazing feats. Swarms even vote when deciding upon a new hive location. Aw poo poo, I could talk about bee intelligence all day, but I refuse to do it in the context of this movie because I don't want people to associate wonderment and interest with this film, however tangentially. Anyway, bees are still reduced to two weeny-rear end ganglia (the supraesophageal ganglion and subesophageal ganglion). They are definitely pinheads. I have dissected bees. I know what is inside a bee. Sure, it's a million or so neurons. An octopus has 300 million. A cat has a billion. Humans have 85 billion. Yes, we're smarter than bees. As for smokers, they are used to convince bees that the hive is aflame. Bees react by gorging themselves on honey and vacating the hive. When engorged, it is difficult for bees to sting (think of it as "chubby tired"). It is also thought to mask some alarm chemicals released by bees, but which ones, I won't bother to look up right now. Also, what kind of loving moron would put a nicotine-bearing fuel in their smoker? (Implied to be tarred tobacco? What the flipping christ?) The idea is to have unmodified, "natural" smoke, not loving poison, especially since tobacco is pretty expensive compared to, oh what does my friend use... cardboard. Maybe they were confusing this and the application of neonictinoid pesticides, which have been a hot-button issue due to their believed relationship to colony collapse disor--ahh gently caress it read this report by the Xerces Society. It's for casual readers so go do that. It's very accessible and it's information worth knowing. Don't worry, Bee Movie will still be here. In fact, it will exist after you die.  These two dorks go to smoke some bees. The inside of these hives look like tenements or something, stacked like bricks. Stark contrast to the natural hive, where everything is roomy and beautiful and spacious and frankly overindulgent.  That's their representation of this:  Where a natural hive looks like this:  Gosh, it's almost like artificial hives are structured to be similar to natural ones. But nah, natural things are always optimized and humans are Nazis. Anyway. To drive home how unnatural this hive is,  ... the queen is--wait for it--a ... DRAG QUEEN! Of course, real drag queens--AHH gently caress IT Pick fucked around with this message at 06:37 on Mar 17, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 05:46
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We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
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Chapter 7: so this dumb crap keeps happening Yeah, so it turns out there's industrial farming of bees, nooooo. We see the slats from the smoked bees' hive get pulled out, nooooo oh noooooooooo I feel inclined to point out that honey is not where the money is, bee-wise. Who knows what this is?  Come on, dudes. Somebody knows this, right? It's an almond orchard in California. This is what an almond orchard looks like. Wow, look at all those loving blooms! Yep, and each one has to be pollinated, otherwise they don't fruit. And they're pollinated--of course!--by bees. The United States produces over half of the world's almond harvest, almost all of which is in California. Beekeepers are paid for the use of their bees. Over half the beehives in the United States--yes, the entire motherfucking United States--are shipped by truck to California in February so they can pollinate these trees. This has contributed substantially to the spread of disease and mite infe---gently caress you, the point is that most beekeepers get more money now from renting bees than they do from honey. This is an aside and I forgot why I was even pointing it out so I'm not going to talk about it any more. To recap, beekeepers are Hitlers, so we'll keep moving. Blue snaps photos of the honey-collecting process (rendered inaccurately, natch) with a camera he apparently had, and he says, quote:Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Yeah, 'cause there are shittons of bears in Central Park. Before some shithead mentions the Central Park Zoo, we clearly saw the tree where Blue's hive is located and it's not within zoo perimeters  . I'm onto you.Anyway, he shows this to his family (and Adam is there too). His family accuses him of making poo poo up, and Adam reveals that Blue wants hot human pussy. Blue's family obviously disapproves, but some guy in the background who we have NEVER SEEN and DO NOT KNOW says, quote:I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. But only pollen jocks leave the hive (this guy is not a pollen jock), and we're in New York City. So this joke also makes no sense at all given what we've been told about bees in this world. Also, we're back to the whole uncomfortable interspecies fetishization thing, made especially uncomfortable now that there's an implied racial angle to species. quote:I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than Blue complains they're living on only "two cups a year" of honey. In real life, a single bee makes 1/12th of a teaspoon of honey in its lifetime. So it seems to me like they're insanely rich, and there are without a doubt legions of impoverished bees in their own hive, kept lowly by the heel of the oppressor. (Which fits with the insane level of extravagance we witness re: his parents' home.) So it's just wealthy people complaining about, like, not being even richer? I don't get it. So our dweebass protagonist goes on the bee news:  Yep, that happens. They reveal that Blue wants to... sue humanity for stealing honey. Which is the first thing about this movie I remembered. Man, I don't even know what social issue this is supposed to be aping. I really don't, it's just dumb, it doesn't make any sense, they're trying to present analogues that don't exist and they have no idea what they're talking about and it's taxing to even think about what they thought they were trying to do.  NYAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR [continued] Pick fucked around with this message at 09:04 on Jan 3, 2014 |
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Mar 17, 2013 06:48
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This is the Seinfeld guy right?
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Mar 17, 2013 07:24
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I've never watched Bee Movie because it looked like a Seinfeld vehicle and I was never fond of his humor at its best. I've seen a few stills, a few clips and have a very general idea of the story, but one thing has always baffled me about this movie: HOW IS THIS GUY NOT VOICED BY BRUCE CAMPBELL?! That is Bruce Campbell. If you animated Bruce Campbell, that is how he would look. A weird hang-up, but every time I see that character, it's just bam. Bruce Campbell. Then it's not. And good god, it frustrates me.
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Mar 17, 2013 07:26
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GIS Patrick Warburton. The voice actor matches that character design just fine.
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Mar 17, 2013 07:31
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Nah, Warburton is much broader and doesn't have the Hero Chin. I stand by my illogical frustrations.
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Mar 17, 2013 07:35
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Macaluso posted:This write up is hilarious so far, and you flipping out over the bee facts being wrong is killing me. I've watched a bit ahead of what I've written up--not that far though--and this movie just diverts further and further from anything that ever made any kind of sense  . It's something else entirely. I've never seen a movie like this. I really should have been paying more attention to when it was on TV (which is where I'm starting to think I semi-saw it). Or was I delirious? Am I delirious now?(A legal system that seems kooky and superficial even by Phoenix Wright standards.) The part where Sting shows up defies all... ... all. It defies all. e: Also this film is the most pro-affair movie I have ever seen. Pick fucked around with this message at 07:48 on Mar 17, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 07:36
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Bee Larry King is the strangest scene I have ever watched in an animated film.
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Mar 17, 2013 07:42
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Pick posted:I've watched a bit ahead of what I've written up--not that far though--and this movie just diverts further and further from anything that ever made any kind of sense Like, Sting from The Police? That Sting? This write-up is fantastic, and probably the best entertainment Bee Movie will ever provide anyone. Bee Larry King and horny Jerry Seinfeld-bee may haunt my dreams tonight.
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Mar 17, 2013 08:28
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I'm a beekeeper! 14 hives, and let me tell you I run my apiary like a loving prison camp, when I'm not shining little search lights at my hives I'm just laughing, laughing at how my bees have stupid little pinheads. The nicotine in the smokers bit was truly mind boggling to me. Great thread, I've never seen this film and its probably a good thing. As a thought, the bee disease gag earlier might possibly be a reference to varroa, a type of mite infestation that can wipe out whole colonies. Also, bees can leave anytime they want, it's called swarming. There is nothing at all to stop any of those prison camp bees from just leaving and setting up new, wild colonies. Wait, they have queens now? Does Blue's colony have a queen then? Have we been shown his queen? This film.
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Mar 17, 2013 09:20
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The characters regularly use "beeish" as a direct analogue for "jewish". Mentally replace the word "bee" with the word "jew" in as many instances as you can. Yep.
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Mar 17, 2013 10:02
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Pick posted:Blue complains they're living on only "two cups a year" of honey. In real life, a single bee makes 1/12th of a teaspoon of honey in its lifetime. So it seems to me like they're insanely rich, and there are without a doubt legions of impoverished bees in their own hive, kept lowly by the heel of the oppressor. (Which fits with the insane level of extravagance we witness re: his parents' home.) So it's just wealthy people complaining about, like, not being even richer? I don't get it. Bee cup measurements are probably substantially smaller than human cup measurements.
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Mar 17, 2013 10:09
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Dr Scoofles posted:Wait, they have queens now? Does Blue's colony have a queen then? Have we been shown his queen? This film. Oh ho! Thank you for providing the perfect segue into my newly discovered Bee Movie Fun Facts! I learned these things, and now, like the Typhoid Mary of knowledge, I pass them on to you.
Sadly, not all these facts can be quite so fun. Many movies are beset by some sort of controversy, and Bee Movie is no exception, sitting at the center of two separate fiascoes. In one, Beeceuticals, a Florida-based cosmetics company, filed a lawsuit in response to Bee Movie using their trademarked phrase "Give Bees a Chance". Luckly this trouble was easily settled out of court. Unfortunately, such a tidy ending does not exist for the allegations that Bee Movie was plagiarized from a concept shopped to Dreamworks in 2001 titled Beebylon. There is no final resolution to this story, as the last information claims that one of the Swedish students responsible for Beebylon was seeking a US lawyer to represent them. The only logical explanation for this sudden end is that these poor students were assassinated by members of the Bee Movie cartel, in order to protect their monopoly on movies about anthropomorphized apiformes. On a different subject from fun facts and ironic coincidences involving lawsuits over stealing of the product of another's labor, apparently there's a scene later in the movie where the bees pull over a bear-shaped bottle of honey in reference to the toppling of the statue of Saddam Hussein. Make of that what you will. Supercar Gautier posted:The characters regularly use "beeish" as a direct analogue for "jewish". Mentally replace the word "bee" with the word "jew" in as many instances as you can. Yep. Well that casts the concentration camp parallels in a slightly different light. Also, "Jew Larry King".
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Mar 17, 2013 10:14
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quote:Now Blue runs off to see Vanessa again. They are asking each other questions. She wants to enter the Tournament of Roses. Humans have TiVo, but bees have Hive-o! But it's a disease, haha! ... I am not a bee expert, so I cannot say that I am aware of all diseases of the European honeybee, but unless corrected, I am going to assert that this is not a thing. Which makes the joke... not a joke, really? It's like referential humor, but to a ... thing that doesn't exist? God, at least Shark Tale referenced, like, things that were ... things. quote:Humans have TiVo, but bees have Hive-o! But it's a disease, haha! quote:Hive-o! But it's a disease, haha! quote:HIVe-o! Please let me be warped and twisted and wrong. 
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Mar 17, 2013 10:36
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Dr Scoofles posted:Great thread, I've never seen this film and its probably a good thing. As a thought, the bee disease gag earlier might possibly be a reference to varroa, a type of mite infestation that can wipe out whole colonies. Also, bees can leave anytime they want, it's called swarming. There is nothing at all to stop any of those prison camp bees from just leaving and setting up new, wild colonies.  ^Oh, and they do have "mite wrangler" as a major job with multiple shifts, which means that these bees are either the Russian line or the VSH/Minnesota Hygienic. quote:Wait, they have queens now? Does Blue's colony have a queen then? Have we been shown his queen? This film. There's a democratically-elected queen of Blue's hive (it's mentioned she had a campaign), but that goes against literally everything we're told about bee jobs, which was the conflict that drove the beginning of the film but I am pretty sure has already been forgotten. Also, Bee Larry King mentions "former queens" who were going to be on the show. Nothing makes sense and nobody cares. Analogues to humanity are constantly suggested and never justified. scary ghost dog posted:Bee cup measurements are probably substantially smaller than human cup measurements. We see his parents have an enormous honey "hot tub", which suggests wanton honey extravagance. RandallODim posted:Like, Sting from The Police? That Sting? Yep. The entire trial sequence is just an excuse for bizarre cameos. Pick fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Mar 17, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 16:23
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Supercar Gautier posted:The characters regularly use "beeish" as a direct analogue for "jewish". Mentally replace the word "bee" with the word "jew" in as many instances as you can. Yep. It's Foodfight! all over again.
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Mar 17, 2013 16:36
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Pick, I want to thank you for creating one of the best threads I have read in recent memory. I actually saw this with my daughter because one of her friends wanted to see it (she was/is more of an adorable/creepy Neil Gaiman/Tim Burton fan; at the time, she was 11). Like you, I couldn't understand what this film was. It seemed to be daring me to hate it, but it's too confusing to hate. It's the Trash Humpers of kids' movies. My daughter's first comment on leaving the theater was "Now I don't feel bad about killing bees."
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Mar 17, 2013 16:46
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The Steak Justice posted:Why is it Ray Liotta's honey. That's actually the best thing so far- it's totally random reference humor, but there's a certain inspired randomness to it. Like, the art director gets told "Okay, he sees a jar of honey- it can't be an actual brand, though", and that person sketches out a few mock logos and thinks "Wait a minute- RAY LIOTTA BRAND HONEY!"
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Mar 17, 2013 17:34
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Maxwell Lord posted:That's actually the best thing so far- it's totally random reference humor, but there's a certain inspired randomness to it. Like, the art director gets told "Okay, he sees a jar of honey- it can't be an actual brand, though", and that person sketches out a few mock logos and thinks "Wait a minute- RAY LIOTTA BRAND HONEY!" First thing I thought of was it being a take on Newman's Own...but why Ray Liotta? He had to be near the bottom of the list of potential candidates.
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Mar 17, 2013 18:11
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I paid good money to rent this movie years ago for some kids and if you guys are bewildered by this piece of poo poo, you should see the confused reactions of a 5 year old watching it. They don't even know what a Ray Loilta is. Honestly this is abortion of a movie. The whole human/bee relationship is just loving insane. I've got no idea how Seinfeld of all people didn't realise how poo poo it was before it got started. I'm sure it must be some kind of satire I don't get or a Kaufman like joke. That all said I found one of last lines pretty funny due to how absurd the whole movie is That bee stole my life!
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Mar 17, 2013 18:40
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I actually saw this in a theater. I don't remember a drat thing about it aside from the enron joke near the end and that felt stale even then.
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Mar 17, 2013 18:42
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Does it have Michael Milken as a Bee!?
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Mar 17, 2013 19:02
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Holy poo poo, Pick. Thread of the Year 2013. I need "Pick watches movies about insects" to be a common thing. And believe it or not, everyone, the Ray Lliota thing DOES have a point. It's a loving bizarre-rear end nonsensical one, but one nonetheless. That is literally the only thing I know about this film.
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Mar 17, 2013 19:24
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Krypt-OOO-Nite!! posted:I've got no idea how Seinfeld of all people didn't realise how poo poo it was before it got started. I'm sure it must be some kind of satire I don't get or a Kaufman like joke. The movie was more or less his idea.
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Mar 17, 2013 19:32
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Pick posted:
Because you asked for it: Adam and Barry as humanoid lovers (not really NWS, but ehh)
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Mar 17, 2013 19:32
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