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I felt that way about breastfeeding at that point in time, but I was having a great deal of pain too. It got better at 6 weeks in. There's no harm in going to talk with your doctor this week.
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Mar 24, 2013 01:09
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Hastings posted:I'm getting concerned because he wants me to get a "real" job after maternity leave in three weeks He what? That's absolutely ridiculous, I'm 100 % behind you here. It sounds like you're just getting brushed off by everyone around you, it's so understandable that you're feeling alone and frustrated. Definitely talk to a health care provider of some kind. Even if your husband and mother were right that this is perfectly normal, it sounds like the perfect environment for things to get a whole lot worse in. And if they're wrong, the sooner you get help, the sooner you'll get better. And regardless of whether this is PPD or just "normal frazzledness", whatever that is, you deserve a sympathetic ear and to have your concerns taken seriously.
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Mar 24, 2013 01:20
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Hastings posted:I've talked to my husband, mother and a close friend about it. They all seem to think this stereotypical new motherhood at almost three weeks in. In my husbands words: "I feel the same way, its just that they don't give a fancy name to new dads". I'm getting concerned because he wants me to get a "real" job after maternity leave in three weeks, but I have school on top of it (for a few weeks and in the fall) now with motherhood. I'm really concerned that I won't have time to sleep, let alone breastfeed and participate in my sons life. I said I'd do Macys or some retail work a few nights a week to help keep us afloat, but it just feels like I'll never escape the newborn phase. I feel better almost immediately when I get some sleep, and I know the main issue is breastfeeding. I HATE IT and Rocky is now hating the bottle for whatever reason. I feel like I'm not a person..just a human cow with no dignity or personality. I just sit there and feed and milk..eyes staring into space. My husband and mom totally think this is normal for moms to be jarred by reality like this, and my friend thinks I'm normal but could be on my way to depression..but I don't know. Is it normal to feel like this only a little over two weeks in? I know what you mean with not feeling like a real person, there are times when I feel like a human milk machine. But the fact that you're having difficulty connecting with your son sounds like PPD to me and it's troubling that your family is being dismissive and your husband unsupportive. Please speak to your doctor and don't let your family minimize your concerns.
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Mar 24, 2013 01:27
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Some women have depression triggered by breastfeeding or pumping. It's not that uncommon and it might be part of what's going on with you. It's not normal though and you should talk to someone in case that is what's happening.
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Mar 24, 2013 01:31
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It's not right that your husband's belittling how you're feeling right now, but I'm so glad you've kept trying and telling people you don't feel right. Please do call your doctor. http://www.postpartum.net/ This website has a good list of people and organizations to talk to too. This http://www.postpartum.net/Get-the-Facts.aspx is the link to descriptions of different sorts of post-partum issues--depression, anxiety, stress, and so on. <3 Hang in there.
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Mar 24, 2013 02:15
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WTF, I swear I just posted a nice insightful reply but it's not there. Oh well, pretend this one is insightful and helpful. I would like to say that your husband is being a butt, but that would be unkind; he's probably also very overwhelmed and scared. But, yeah, your husband is being a butt.  From my limited experience with being pregnant and talking to women who've given birth, it seems like there's this sort of (if you're not American this may not make sense, and I apologize, it was a silly anti-drug campaign that was around when I was a kid) "Scared Straight" attitude they take with pregnant women/new moms. Like, "OH YEAH YOU THINK IT'S BAD NOW WAIT TILL YOU HAVE 3RD DEGREE TEARS FROM A 192 HR LABOR WITHOUT DRUGS AND HE DOESN'T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT TILL HE'S 16 YEARS OLD!" if you mention the littlest thing like, "Wow, my feet hurt from all this extra weight!" My mom, who is very loving and caring, is the worst at this with me, though she's the first to admit what an easy pregnancy she had with me and my brother, and what easy babies we were. (She is wonderful, I don't want to make her sound cold or uncaring--after my trip to the ER today she's been fussing at me, checking on me, and so on.) I bet they remember being scared and overwhelmed and maybe they didn't ask for help so they didn't get any, and maybe feel a little... resentful? I don't know. But you don't have to do that! It doesn't make you a monster because you're feeling these things and recognizing you are, and that hey maybe this isn't normal and you don't have to just suffer through it is huge. Good on you for reaching out to a few people even when you were sort of brushed off! PPD is something I'm very, very concerned about due to my own history; I've talked about it with my doc/midwife and my family so they know what to look for, though I do need to talk more with my parents (who I live with) about a plan for when, if and how to intervene. So reading your description, I can very much identify. sudont fucked around with this message at 03:23 on Mar 24, 2013 |
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Mar 24, 2013 03:20
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Hastings posted:Is it normal to feel like this only a little over two weeks in? Frankly, I don't think it matters whether it's normal or not. It sounds like you need support that you're not getting. I would talk to your doctor and see if you can find breastfeeding and/or newborn support groups in your area. I attended both shortly after having my son and they helped keep me sane.
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Mar 24, 2013 03:28
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Hastings posted:I think I have post partum depression. Please don't wait. I had PPD and I knew it but I was too afraid to do anything about it. I felt like a terrible person and in the end it landed me in a psych unit for a couple days when my little one was 7 weeks old. That's what it took for me to get help but it doesn't have to be that way. Go to your doctor asap.
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Mar 24, 2013 21:25
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Mangue posted:Please don't wait. I had PPD and I knew it but I was too afraid to do anything about it. I felt like a terrible person and in the end it landed me in a psych unit for a couple days when my little one was 7 weeks old. That's what it took for me to get help but it doesn't have to be that way. Go to your doctor asap. Thanks for sharing this, it really helped motivate me. I'll be calling my OBs office first thing in the morning to set up a time to come in that day.
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Mar 24, 2013 21:34
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I have a bit of a gross problem (or maybe problem, I don't know) so sorry in advance. I'm 32 weeks and leaking what seems to be an excessive amount of liquid, how much is normal? It's clear and odourless but there seems to be quite a lot of it. I've been noticing it all night and going to the toilet every half hour to make sure my bladder is empty so pretty sure it's not pee and I stuck a load of toilet roll in my pants before lying on the settee and watching an episode of Psych and after it finished I checked and the toilet roll was wet through and my pants were wet again. I'll call the midwives in the morning if it's still going on but has anyone else had that level of discharge and am I just being paranoid thinking it might be something to worry about? Edit: by pants I mean underwear, not trousers. Just remembered that might be confusing. hookerbot 5000 fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Mar 25, 2013 |
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Mar 25, 2013 00:23
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hookerbot 5000 posted:I have a bit of a gross problem (or maybe problem, I don't know) so sorry in advance. That sounds kind of strange and concerning to me, I'd definitely get checked.
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Mar 25, 2013 00:33
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hookerbot 5000 posted:I have a bit of a gross problem (or maybe problem, I don't know) so sorry in advance. Go in now. Seriously. If you know you didn't pee, then that kind of liquid is unexpected.
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Mar 25, 2013 00:50
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I'd go in ASAP if it continued after you laid down. Better safe than sorry.
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Mar 25, 2013 01:00
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nah.
Lullabee fucked around with this message at 00:00 on Mar 22, 2017 |
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Mar 25, 2013 02:03
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hookerbot 5000 posted:I have a bit of a gross problem (or maybe problem, I don't know) so sorry in advance. Hookerbot, don't wait on this till the morning. I had discharge but not anything like that much. You'll feel better if you know what's going on!
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Mar 25, 2013 03:31
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A SPECIAL UNICORN fucked around with this message at 04:40 on Feb 15, 2019 |
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Mar 25, 2013 04:18
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Hello pregnant goons, I need to ask a big favor from all of you. I'm currently finishing up my undergrad degree by completing a massive internship at a local hospital's midwifery clinic. One of my projects is creating a film to educate individuals on preterm delivery. It would be a big big help if you could please fill out either of these surveys. They're each very short and shouldn't take more than 5 minutes at the super very most. If you have never given birth prematurely (before 37 weeks), please fill out this survey! If you have given birth prematurely (before 37 weeks), please fill out this survey: Thanks so much for doing this, it'll be a huge help and can seriously help me graduate. It will hopefully also help mothers in the state of Georgia deliver their babies at a healthy age! If any mod disapproves of this I can remove it but I thought it would be topical in the Parenting, Pregnancy, and Gettin' Knocked Up threads.
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Mar 25, 2013 13:41
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I guess now is as good a time as any to finally check in! My second visit with the doctor was today, just at 12 weeks along (although she says ten weeks along... I know when I conceived, so whatever). Honestly everything's been smooth and easy and I feel guilty telling people that other than some seriously weird nightmares and hurting boobs and a little nausea, I feel normal. It's like every day could have just been a bad day... for three months. No news, really, nothing exciting, this is the first (and only, I hope) for me and my husband. Just hoping to soak up some good pregnancy vibes.
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Mar 25, 2013 20:09
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Congrats, Tourette! I've had the same experience, thankfully. Had sore boobs and nausea for a bit in the first trimester, but other than that, I've never felt better. No migraines has been the biggest bonus. The past week or so things have started getting pretty uncomfortable, I'm 29 weeks this week and the acid reflux has kicked in and the "Oh God this extra weight sucks" and cramping but here's hoping we have smooth sailing all through. Hastings I hope you got in touch with your OB, and hookerbot, hope you got in touch with your doc!
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Mar 25, 2013 21:16
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Now that my wife and I are two weeks into the birth of our child, we are hitting the point where all of the family support is more annoying than it is helpful. Today is the first day we've had since birth where we haven't had a bunch of people stopping by our house, and it has been wonderful. On the subject of family, I have an issue that I've had a tough time dealing with. My mother smokes and we have been adamant about keeping smoke, the smell of smoke, smokey clothing, etc. away from our child. She acts really offended when I ask her to change her clothes when coming into my house and holding my child, but I don't see the big deal with it. Every time they come to the house, an argument happens where she explains to me how she hasn't smoked in ____ hours, or how she wore a jacket over her clothes, etc. The problem is that the clothes she wears comes from a house that reeks of smoke and the car they drive here in has been smoked in for years. Has anyone dealt with this type of situation? Am I being unreasonable to be concerned enough about third hand smoke to require her to do this? My mom was in tears yesterday claiming that we were trying to keep her away from our child (after I told her that I wouldn't allow her to keep my daughter in her home or ride in her car because of the smoke)...but I'm reaching the point of frustration where I am close to telling her to follow the simple rules we have, or not be involved in my child's life.
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Mar 25, 2013 23:40
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Acrolos posted:On the subject of family, I have an issue that I've had a tough time dealing with. My mother smokes and we have been adamant about keeping smoke, the smell of smoke, smokey clothing, etc. away from our child. She acts really offended when I ask her to change her clothes when coming into my house and holding my child, but I don't see the big deal with it. Every time they come to the house, an argument happens where she explains to me how she hasn't smoked in ____ hours, or how she wore a jacket over her clothes, etc. The problem is that the clothes she wears comes from a house that reeks of smoke and the car they drive here in has been smoked in for years. You are absolutely within your rights to dictate the terms of what your child gets exposed to. Either tell them to play by your rules or GTFO. Maybe when the baby is older then a little incidental exposure won't damage them for life, but I wouldn't take chances with a newborn. I was lucky in that only my father-in-law smokes and he was pretty respectful of cleaning up before he held Chris. Of course, they could only really visit every couple months because they lived so far away. (I feel your pain, I had to tell my mother her house was too filthy for her to ever have her grandson over, or for us to visit again. It's sad when family would rather be lazy and keep the status quo instead of improving theirselves for their grandkids.)
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Mar 25, 2013 23:48
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I'm rather dismayed at all the things I'm learning about pregnancy that no one ever told me about. Like: You'll pee a little when you sneeze or cough too hard! You will get kicked constantly and it's disconcerting! Your waist will completely disappear! (This was somehow not obvious to me, but I now have very little idea how to dress myself.) Not only will you get kicked, but you'll get kicked in the cervix and what feels like your anus! Your friends will think it's hilarious when you tell them! When your husband goes to feel the kicking, it will immediately stop! And then start when he moves his hand away! I'm so happy that so many women have delightful and charming pregnancies, but I can't wait for this to be over. Besides the morning sickness, it hasn't been terrible, but it's been pretty annoying. I think I'll be a great mom, but being a pregnant lady is pretty crappy. I just want to have one terrible day where I don't think about my nutrition and gorge myself on horrible, horrible things and not worry about exercising or anything else. And I know... this too shall pass. But I seriously have no idea how some women have more than two kids. You guys are troopers. On a more serious note, for the person who was vitamin D deficient... You should be able to pick up supplements anywhere. I take (in addition to the 1000 IU in my prenatals) 4000 IU of D3 separately. Having sufficient vitamin D in the mother's blood when the baby is in utero has been shown to decrease the risk of autism in children. And D3 pills are tiny and not horrible to take, which is an extra bonus.
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Mar 25, 2013 23:50
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Acrolos posted:Now that my wife and I are two weeks into the birth of our child, we are hitting the point where all of the family support is more annoying than it is helpful. I'll be honest, you might have to choose how important a relationship with your mom is. Like you say, her house and car smell of smoke. Unless she buys new clothing on the way over and then showers, she's going to smell. I know you don't want exposure to third-hand smoke, but I'd honestly ask her to wash her hands (like I'd ask everyone, by the way!), and let her see and hold the baby. She's not going to be breathing into the baby's face for hours; it'll be ok. edit: even if she quits now, realistically her house and all her belongings are still going to stink.
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Mar 26, 2013 00:42
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Acrolos: While I, personally, would not require a clothing change (I wouldn't let the baby in their house/car at all though), that doesn't make your requirement unreasonable. You've probably thought of something like this, but could your mom keep some clothes at your house? It sounds like there is probably more at work there though and will be a difficult situation even if she will do that. ETA: Just to be clear, I don't think you're being crazy or overprotective or anything like that. I don't want my post to come across that way at all. I have a similar yet different and complicated situation going on in my family and I feel for you. sudont fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Mar 26, 2013 |
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Mar 26, 2013 01:05
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Acrolos posted:Now that my wife and I are two weeks into the birth of our child, we are hitting the point where all of the family support is more annoying than it is helpful. Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like a lousy situation, but I would absolutely make the same choices you're doing were I in your shoes. Have you considered buying a pack of cheap t-shirts and a few hooded sweatshirts to keep near the door for her to change into each time she comes to visit? If you've got laundry going regularly, keeping these in supply can become an afterthought, and this might make it easier for her as she doesn't have to worry about picking out something clean before coming. I could also see this making the situation worse if things are already tense, but you've certainly got a better sense of how it might be received. Just a thought.
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Mar 26, 2013 01:06
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Acrolos posted:Now that my wife and I are two weeks into the birth of our child, we are hitting the point where all of the family support is more annoying than it is helpful. In my opinion, as long as she has a jacket over her clothes (a smoke free one), she should be fine. Maybe it's an extra jacket she just has at your place, Because I can understand your concern, but at the same time, this is her grandchild and fostering that relationship is really important. Ultimately, you need to do what you and your wife feel best. Is this something worth losing a relationship over or are there ways to make both of you happy? Real conversations need to happen, and your mom should honestly be open to quitting for health reasons alone.
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Mar 26, 2013 02:31
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sudont posted:You've probably thought of something like this, but could your mom keep some clothes at your house? This is the current plan, and she has said she'll bring something over to change into. Hopefully she'll just do it and not make a big deal about it every time like she currently does. I think that a few weeks ago, I wouldn't be quite so insane about the situation, but one of my best friends had a baby the day after us who died of SIDS the day they came home from the hospital (at least that's what the initial report is)...so I am extremely nervous about anything that could be a risk. Acrolos fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Mar 26, 2013 |
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Mar 26, 2013 03:09
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Bubble Babble posted:I'm rather dismayed at all the things I'm learning about pregnancy that no one ever told me about. Like: Ugh seriously, all of this. My pregnancy has completely ruined/changed almost everything about my body and the way it functions.  And yeah getting kicked down near the vagina/cervix, especially when I know there are stitches down there, is very un-cool! Little dude, just kick or punch me in the ribs instead, okay? I actually prefer that much much more. I feel a little bit like a monster for how much I complain and say "I can't wait to have my body back to myself" but it really has not been very pleasant for me. I'm insanely jealous of women who look normal and comfortable during their pregnancy. I can't even walk through one store without my lower back feeling like my spine is welded together and I have to waddle around because it is so stiff and uncomfortable. (Although, that might be partly because i've been on bed rest almost my whole pregnancy and all my muscles are so weak they never got use to carrying extra weight-but it has also been achy and sore since the first trimester so...) I feel like when I bitch to people who aren't my mom or husband they might get the wrong idea and think that I am angry at this baby or something, lol. Totally not the case, I love him to bits already and can't wait to meet him, but drat I just wish my body was handling all this better. I had an image of how my pregnancy would go before I got pregnant, and almost every little piece of that image was shattered by the time I was 6 weeks along, and it never got to be anything like what I expected/hoped for either. /end rant. Sorry that felt good. 
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Mar 26, 2013 04:46
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hookerbot 5000 posted:troubles Just wondering if you're okay.  quote:I feel like when I bitch to people who aren't my mom or husband they might get the wrong idea and think that I am angry at this baby or something, lol.
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Mar 26, 2013 05:33
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Ratatozsk posted:Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like a lousy situation, but I would absolutely make the same choices you're doing were I in your shoes. My son was premature, needed lung surfactant, blew a pneumothorax, ended up with a chest tube, yadda yadda yadda. Ended up with a 30 day NICU stay and a whole slew of doctors who were VERY concerned about his pulmonary function for the first year of life. We were told in no uncertain terms when he was released from NICU that smokers were not to come in contact with him until they had scrubbed their hands and changed shirts. We don't know that many smokers, but we just made sure we had some freshly laundered shirts available in sizes the few we knew could wear and told them "This is the rules: if you want to come in the house and/or touch the baby, you have to wash and change into one of these, and while you're at it we'd really even prefer if you dampened your hair because it smells of smoke too." Anyone who didn't like it, too damned bad: my house, my kid, my rules. Luckily we weren't dealing with a grandparent in this situation, just more distant relatives and a couple of friends and all of them were quite happy to abide by our wishes. They all seemed quite happy that we had something for them to change into so they didn't have to worry about figuring out how to get something to our house without it picking up smoke in their car.
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Mar 26, 2013 07:09
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Bubble Babble posted:On a more serious note, for the person who was vitamin D deficient... You should be able to pick up supplements anywhere. I take (in addition to the 1000 IU in my prenatals) 4000 IU of D3 separately. Having sufficient vitamin D in the mother's blood when the baby is in utero has been shown to decrease the risk of autism in children. And D3 pills are tiny and not horrible to take, which is an extra bonus. Oh, that's too easy for France. They give you some mega-huge glass ampoule of D3 oil to be taken once every 15 days. Which your husband will try to show that he's capable of handling for you, so you don't cut yourself. I'm still cleaning up the glass. And I have to try to explain at the pharmacy that he's a doofus and broke the first one and beg for another without a prescription (you need scripts for real vitamins here). Doctor didn't like my thyroxine levels (in range, but high) or my sugar (also in range, but higher than she likes)so it was back for another blood panel. Twice in two weeks, good times. But on a happier note, I had my 12 week scan and NT and it looked good. So we told people. And my family is thrilled. His 'took it well' according to him. Much luck and stamina to the people fighting their own families for the sake of baby's health. I'm really lucky on that count.
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Mar 26, 2013 11:18
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I just had a toxoplasmosis test done, and I'm negative, and absolutely baffled. Concidering how much I've eaten over the years (and the suspect circumstances I've eaten these things in) of everything they warn you against when you become pregnant, I cannot believe I haven't picked it up before the pregnancy. Apparently it's much harder to catch than I thought  Which I suppose is good news now that I AM pregnant, but drat it, I'd've liked to have the antibodies.I also hope hookerbot5000 and hookerbaby5000 is alright 
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Mar 26, 2013 13:58
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sudont posted:Congrats, Tourette! I've had the same experience, thankfully. Had sore boobs and nausea for a bit in the first trimester, but other than that, I've never felt better. No migraines has been the biggest bonus. The past week or so things have started getting pretty uncomfortable, I'm 29 weeks this week and the acid reflux has kicked in and the "Oh God this extra weight sucks" and cramping but here's hoping we have smooth sailing all through. Bubble Babble posted:You'll pee a little when you sneeze or cough too hard! For the first time ever I'm wishing Easter would just come and go already! I love Easter, but this weekend's a wash - we won't get to start on the nursery really til next weekend, and I'm ready to start getting things done.
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Mar 26, 2013 14:42
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Posting from my phone and its a pain in the bum. waters have broken so stuck in hospital 100 miles away from my family for god knows how long. had steroid injections and no labour pains or sign of infection so just have to wait but can't go home because its too remote/poo poo. but baby is fine which os main thing
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Mar 26, 2013 16:40
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hookerbot 5000 posted:Posting from my phone and its a pain in the bum. waters have broken so stuck in hospital 100 miles away from my family for god knows how long. had steroid injections and no labour pains or sign of infection so just have to wait but can't go home because its too remote/poo poo. but baby is fine which os main thing So glad to hear you and your baby are ok! I hope you have some books or something to keep you occupied.
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Mar 26, 2013 16:44
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hookerbot 5000 posted:Posting from my phone and its a pain in the bum. waters have broken so stuck in hospital 100 miles away from my family for god knows how long. had steroid injections and no labour pains or sign of infection so just have to wait but can't go home because its too remote/poo poo. but baby is fine which os main thing Glad to hear you are both okay. Hoping everything goes well and you'll be able to go home soon.. 
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Mar 26, 2013 17:02
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nah.
Lullabee fucked around with this message at 00:00 on Mar 22, 2017 |
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Mar 26, 2013 17:50
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Lullabee posted:Also - the whole peeing when you sneeze/cough? It could potentially stay with you after you have the baby. I don't have it, but I had a csection. All the ladies in my family who had vaginal births have it though. They need to practice their kegels then.
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Mar 26, 2013 17:51
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Glad everything is ok hookerbot 5000, but that definitely is inconvenient, I know here if your water breaks, you're in till you deliver. Too much risk of infection. I've always been a religious Kegel-doer, and I have the pee a little when coughing/laughing/sneezing since being pregnant. Yuck. Annoying, but a fact of life. I haven't been keeping up with them lately because I had pretty bad UTI symptoms but no UTI (my urethra felt like it was spasming) and didn't want to aggravate it but I need to pick it back up.
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Mar 26, 2013 17:57
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Lullabee posted:Also - the whole peeing when you sneeze/cough? It could potentially stay with you after you have the baby. I don't have it, but I had a csection. All the ladies in my family who had vaginal births have it though. I never had a problem after everything healed up, although my hemorrhoids stuck around. Unfortunately in the subsequent pregnancy the whole "peeing while sneezing/coughing" started a heck of a lot sooner - with the first one it wasn't until around 8-9 months that it started and with this one it was more like 4 months. Of course I have been lazy and not doing Kegels at all so I only have myself to blame. I think the worst part about the earlier looseness in round two is (potential TMI) feeling like my vagina is trying to fall out after sex.
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Mar 26, 2013 18:48
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