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Hears Railrunner
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Mar 26, 2013 02:28
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JosephWongKS posted:I’ve seen “house of mirrors” in Scooby Doo and other American cartoons, but have never actually visited one. Do their operators need to go through the maze themselves every single time there’s a customer? That sounds rather inefficient. Pretty sure what you're looking at is a misused pronoun: it's supposed to refer to Clare, who is running into the maze, but the last person mentioned was the operator, and so you get confused. And no, mirror maze operators take tickets and watch the crowds (and occasionally pull out people who get too lost to find the exit), but they do not escort each visitor. And what the heck kind of roller coaster did Clare find that there wasn't a significant line on a crowded evening? Add "wait halfway into the line and duck out for a leak" to the many ways Rodney could have escaped that situation with his credibility intact.
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Mar 26, 2013 04:49
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 This is so bad. I am in awe of how terrible this is! I must have more....
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Mar 26, 2013 10:51
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He read the first chapter of the book and then threw it away, saying "this book is just too insane. And that man was Abdul Alhazred. "
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Mar 26, 2013 22:25
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JosephWongKS posted:I will buy a free forum upgrade or avatar to the goon who can demonstrate that Rodney’s car was destroyed or otherwise lost during one of the earlier chapters, because I’ve re-read all of them and can’t find any evidence to such effect. Of course, that means that you will have to re-read the earlier chapters, but that’s the iron price you have to pay. I interpreted it as being that because he'd left his car outside the bar, it had been towed away - for exceeding the permitted parking time, or for being an abandoned vehicle or similar... But I suppose that doesn't make sense - it was only a single night, and I would imagine that bars are used to people deciding to take a taxi/bus/walk home and collect their vehicles the next day. Notice also that Rodney is/was a dumbass who was planning on drink-driving. Dumbass.
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Mar 27, 2013 00:11
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NeoAnjou posted:Notice also that Rodney is/was a dumbass who was planning on drink-driving. Dumbass. No! Don't you remember that because of Rodney's hidden roller coastanthropy, he has been unable to get drunk at any point of his life?  my dad posted:Well, my accent is too strong for a dramatic reading, so have this instead: I've been kinda behind, but I love everyone's commentary and artistic contribution on this book and Miranda Leek's art. Thanks to everyone who made me genuinely laugh and for keeping the ride interesting. EagerSleeper fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Mar 27, 2013 |
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Mar 27, 2013 03:27
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EagerSleeper posted:No! Don't you remember that because of Rodney's hidden roller coastanthropy, he has been unable to get drunk at any point of his life? Nope, because his true form was not activated until he touched a roller coaster first time in his life. Which was when he was 38 years old. Who was always interested in roller coasters. So he was always able to be drunk until then. So he had planned to drink and drive before going to the bar. I wonder what Thunderbark was really thinking. He "activated" his form knowing very well what would happen in the following night. But it wasn't until the day after that he gives him a warning to stay away from populated areas. But then again, it is very clear in the book that Miranda does not think things through at all.
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Mar 27, 2013 09:05
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Iced Cocoa posted:I wonder what Thunderbark was really thinking. He "activated" his form knowing very well what would happen in the following night. But it wasn't until the day after that he gives him a warning to stay away from populated areas. But then again, it is very clear in the book that Miranda does not think things through at all. And given the complicated and slightly confusing rules regarding being able to take control of your roller-coaster form after the first full-moon (have I got that right? Who knows ... or indeed cares?) if he had waited two days he could have saved the town from a huge mess, and Rodney from who knows what heart-break! ...and it's not like he was in a rush. This guy had applied for a job with you! You could at least have interviewed him and determined if he were likely to take the job, then given it to him and waiting for the night of the full-moon to 'activate' him... or invited him back for a second interview that date... or just tried to meet him on the street...
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Mar 27, 2013 22:05
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 GUEST REVIEW BY ICED COCOA Chapter 9 – The Rampage of a Roller Coaster I hate the fact this book exists and I'll tell you all about it. quote:Suddenly detective Black jumped in front of Clare. He held a rifle aimed at Railrunner, and then he let loose the gun’s power. Clare ran for her life while Black was firing. Railrunner landed in front of him and raised his claws, and nailed the detective, sending him crashing through a tent. Railrunner let loose a roar as he leapt [sic] onto the top of the fifty foot lift hill. I've been at a carnival. Though it was not at the opening day, it was packed shoulder to shoulder and you could easily lose sight of someone in the crowd. I'm not an American, but wouldn't there be some major problem if there is a uniformed officer walking around with a rifle? I can only imagine panic and terror in a very crowded place once someone spots the rifle before the uniform. Or even with the uniform because it's always possible they might be fake. And of course nothing of consequence really happens. Railrunner shrugs off the fire and goes on a rampage. quote:Just outside the carnival stood Thunderbark and his allies. They were behind a bus watching Railrunner’s rampage. Wait, just how are they going to stop the news from reaching outside the city? This is the opening day of the carnival, so there is going to be a lot of people there. This book was published in 2010 I believe, so the concept of phones with video-recording capability is not so far-fetched. And it isn't that hard to believe some people there have them, and have the presence of mind to record this unique event. And if you notice, the narrative focus has changed. This is the third point of view we've been introduced to. Just pointing it out. First there was Rodney in first person, then Monster Railrunner in third person, and now we have narrative third person of the secondary characters. quote:Merrylegs agreed and Static nodded. Then Merrylegs started to change. Her hair and legs got longer. A brass pole grew out from her. Then her jaw and nose became a snout and her ears pointed. She became a yellow carousel horse. She reared back on her hind legs and flicked her lion like [sic] tail and bolted into the park. Then Static started his transformation. His skin hardened and turned green and blue. His tailbone became a long cable with a wire on its end. A steering wheel grew from his back. He doubled over and became a bumper car; he too headed for the park. No longer cat eyes, but dragon eyes. And he just has to be more dramatic in his transformation than the other two, tossing away his cowboy hat. And they can change by will as well. So is it only during the first moon that they can't change by will, is it the fourth reason for why they can change, or did Miranda forget her own rules? quote:Static rolled behind a wall and took observation, a line of police cars had just pulled up. He simply grinned at them. He thought he should destroy news crews if they arrived along with the police. He stood and transformed back into his human form and walked out of his hiding place with his hands casually in his pockets. I think Miranda forgot her own rules, since apparently the bumper car can change back to human the same night when the moon is in the air. Or maybe the moon is not up yet, or maybe the rules are different when talking about other kind of amusement park rides than roller coaster trains. quote:“Kid! What are you doing! This area is under complete lockdown!” A cop scolded. Not only police officers can walk in a crowded carnival with rifles strapped to their sides, but they can escalate force very quickly for no reason at all. They point a gun at what they call "a kid", which Rodney previously identified as a "kid" in their thirties. Just what is the reasoning behind this? Sure there is a monster on the loose and for some reason the police is already at the scene with several cruisers, but would that be a reason enough to point a gun at a "kid" who's curious about their cars? Is this some American police culture I'm missing out on? If this is how police work works in the US, I'm glad I'm not living there. quote:Railrunner ran through the carnival, destroying nearly everything in his path. From toppling over small rides to completely obliterating food stands. People continued to run in panic. Railrunner could smell their fear and blood. He roared in pure pleasure. Off in the distance he saw flashing lights and heard sirens. It was police and swat [sic] teams. How Railrunner hated them, how he despised them! Come on, challenge me! See if you’re brave enough to come after me! Railrunner thought laughing to himself. Railrunner is destroying rides. This would come up later if Miranda had any hindsight or the ability to work ahead. Railrunner already hates the cops, apparently along with everyone else. Clare had no respect for the cops as well, thinking that they would make up a tale about a monster that killed five of them last night. Any police officers are sub-human in this novel, as we'll notice in later chapters. quote:He left the midway and traveled deep into the fair. He entered the area where the creative arts and agricultural buildings stood. Driven by his ravenous hunger, Railrunner leaned full tilt towards the livestock. Scent of pigs and cattle flooded his nostrils. He began to stalk his prey, silently walking inside the large barn. He went undetected, he had no scent nor was he seen. His eyes scanned the plump cows, Railrunner began licking his chops. Then he found his victim, a fat black and white dairy cow. Another cow hunted down and eaten. Another cop killed. If Railrunner had attacked and killed a pig we would have some commentary on the evils of cops. Or if this was actually a good writer, Who wouldn't write this in the first place, this would be some comparison of how useless and brainless cops are, equal to cows. But no, this is Miranda, and things are not thought through at all. quote:Railrunner crouched low and started to growl. Clare stood frozen, crying. She trembled as Railrunner crept toward her. Given that the whole trouble began at the roller coaster ride, then Railrunner went on a rampage for a while until snacking on yet another cow and killing a swat member, Clare has all that time followed him out of hopeless love and hope to talk him down or something. While being in shock and totally forgotten what he had told her before he transformed. And not run away when the monster that was her boyfriend killed someone. Perhaps because anyone involved with police work is sub-human. And of course Clare can't save herself because she's in love with Rodney so she has to be saved by the other secondary woman character. quote:
This is something that should never be done. Unless you intend to make it the main theme of the novel in whole. Not only did the narrative focus change yet again in the same chapter, but it changed just who owns the first person narrative focus. While Miranda was previously given credit for changing the perspective between Railrunner and Rodney, I think this will utterly remove any praise she has received for that. So, her boyfriend is a monster. Just before he kills her she's taken by a carousel horse into a locked underground storage shed, where said carousel horse changes into a human, feeds her some unbelievable story, then tells her to hop on back to escape the carnival. Am I the only one who has any problems with that? Clare is a floormat, simply put. quote:Railrunner sniffed the air and snorted in disgust. He had lost the carousel horse. He stood alone among the empty buildings. Suddenly a new scent worked its way into his nostrils. Detective Black quietly snuck up behind him, a large machete in his hand. He raised it towards Railrunner’s back and prepared to stab him but, to his dismay the coaster turned around and clasped the machete in his wheels. He roared into his face, and hit him with a heavy blow, knocking the detective out cold. And look, Detective Black is back, apparently not too injured after being thrown several feet into a tent after being stabbed as well, armed with a machete that came from who knows where. But now it looks like he was simply knocked unconscious now. Poor Detective Black, he has so little role in the book that he only gets a single paragraph for each of his attacks on Railrunner, only to be beaten down in those very same paragraphs. quote:“Railrunner.” Said a deep voice behind him. He turned to see a white roller coaster. Railrunner let out a nasty snarl, threatening him. I love how Thunderbark "somehow" managed to redirect the lightning, it's like if Miranda didn't know how he did it as well. quote:Thunderbark thought to himself as he looked at the red coaster. I redirected his lightning. His lightning was powerful enough to knock him out. It takes a long time to learn even how to generate lightning; it takes years for an experienced roller coaster to generate that much power. Railrunner achieved that on his second night! And he wasn’t even in control! He is probably going to be more powerful than I ever had imagined him. And here we again get to know that Railrunner is a super special roller coaster train. And we'll never forget it for the entire book. Because Railrunner can't be just a were-roller coaster train. He has to be the most powerful were-roller coaster train there is.
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Mar 28, 2013 16:55
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Ow. This was painful to read through. You know, as a kid I kinda liked writing. I tried a story where the perspective shifted between first and third, cause I thought it was clever and a good way to add mystery to a story. It was hard to do, and looking back at it now, I think the result was about on par with Miranda's. But I NEVER shifted to the first person perspective of another character. That is such a bad idea on so many levels. Detective Black is a badass. Demon rollercoaster on a rampage? He decides to take it on with a machete!  at its finest!I'm noticing this story reveals some troubling aspects of Miranda's personality, but that's armchair psychology and I won't go there.
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Mar 28, 2013 17:33
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SSNeoman posted:I'm noticing this story reveals some troubling aspects of Miranda's personality, but that's armchair psychology and I won't go there. You mean the part where her self-insert mistakes her potential Mary Sue love interest anthropomorphic were-rollercoaster for a horse? edit for future readers: Yes, I did completely misinterpret that scene the first time I read it. 
my dad fucked around with this message at 10:48 on Apr 8, 2013 |
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Mar 28, 2013 17:36
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my dad posted:You mean the part where her self-insert mistakes her potential Mary Sue love interest anthropomorphic were-rollercoaster for a horse? I was more talking about how she seems to be a lonely girl with no friends. She seems to really love roller coasters, to the point anthropomorphism and fetishism (a product of loneliness). You know when Rodney was being teased for working with roller coasters? I bet Miranda had the same thing happen to her. Unlike Rodney, I doubt she telepathically shattered a glass into the offender's hand. I'm guessing that she had some bad experience with the police as well.
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Mar 28, 2013 17:56
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^^^ If you've only read what has been posted on the thread, you're in for more as the book progresses. You ain't seen nothing yet.SSNeoman posted:
Detective Black is truly a badass. If a rifle didn't work, it's machete time. And that's after he was stabbed and thrown into a tent. He became my favorite character in this roller coaster wreck of a book because of that, and that he was one of the few that dared to not agree/ally with Railrunner.
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Mar 28, 2013 18:01
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One amusing detail to all this is the author's choice of verbs when claws are being deployed. The cat outside the bar "induced" its claws, and Railrunner has "extracted" his twice. Sounds painful, but I guess they grow back? Also: Chapter 9 posted:I carried Clare through the gallows of the carnival. 
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Mar 28, 2013 18:11
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Bonus Content
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Mar 28, 2013 18:11
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quote:The white coaster somehow stopped it, redirected it, and hit Railrunner. Why do all the roller coaster trains look the same? Railrunner, Thunderbark, and the purple one on the website've all got the exact same snout face. I've been on roller coasters made to look like Greased Lightning, mine carts, runaway trains, swarms of bug aliens, whatever. Miranda Leek's just so uncreative with her were-roller-coaster-trains. On the other hand, I'm loving that little quiff Thunderbark's got.
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Mar 28, 2013 18:59
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attackbunny posted:
I decided to check her DA account to see if there were any different kind of roller coasters. This is the most distinct roller coaster there was:  So yes, Miranda is simply just uncreative.
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Mar 28, 2013 19:33
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This just keeps getting better and better. All we need now is the poorly-written insert of the author's best friend who is totally awesome but not quite as great as Railrunner/horse/other thing. And some ham-fisted romance.
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Mar 28, 2013 23:42
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JosephWongKS posted:Bonus Content Going on murderous rampages every night = Young, mischevious antics
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Mar 29, 2013 03:02
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Bonus Content
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Mar 29, 2013 04:51
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SSNeoman posted:I'm guessing that she had some bad experience with the police as well. Not necessarily. Sometimes you just need some faceless mooks to show off how powerful your main character is, and if generic mobsters or gang members don't make enough sense, it's up to law enforcement to fill the role. This is, rightly or not, something well established in various media, and so it's possible that she got the idea from more than her own very, very odd subconscious. You could also consider the fact that Rodney is supposed to regret his actions at this phase since Miranda is rather mindlessly trying to evoke the tragic figure of the werewolf (who cannot control his savage behavior but is forced to live with the consequences), plus the policeman with a face, Detective Black, has so far not only managed to survive two direct hits from Railrunner, but also produced a rifle and a machete out of absolutely nowhere. Unfortunately, Miranda is also presenting this plot on the eve of turning him into the Chosen One of the Mystic Realm which really doesn't mesh well with a tragic person vs. self plot.
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Mar 29, 2013 05:22
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I had pictured Merrylegs' pole going all the way to the ground with the legs frozen mid-stride, just scooting around on the pole and carving up the earth. Also it appears she's a carousel unicorn, Miranda, sheesh. Oh, and I like this bit: "Many years ago, Merrylegs was exiled or refused by the other carousel horse herds for her indifference." And an unrelated note; isn't a loving bumper car kind of a poor choice for smashing up other cars??
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Mar 29, 2013 05:25
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Bonus Content
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Mar 29, 2013 11:24
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Bobbin Threadbare posted:Not necessarily. Sometimes you just need some faceless mooks to show off how powerful your main character is, and if generic mobsters or gang members don't make enough sense, it's up to law enforcement to fill the role. This is, rightly or not, something well established in various media, and so it's possible that she got the idea from more than her own very, very odd subconscious. You could also consider the fact that Rodney is supposed to regret his actions at this phase since Miranda is rather mindlessly trying to evoke the tragic figure of the werewolf (who cannot control his savage behavior but is forced to live with the consequences), plus the policeman with a face, Detective Black, has so far not only managed to survive two direct hits from Railrunner, but also produced a rifle and a machete out of absolutely nowhere.  I know exactly at what chapter you're going to change your mind.Bonus Commentary So, Merrylegs was exiled from a herd of other carousel horses because she was not a horse, but a fantasy being. Static was exiled from a pack of bumper cars because he befriended Thunderbark. Thunderbark lost his command over his elite squad of other wooden coasters because reasons. Spoiler character was made homeless by another never-appearing character because reasons. Railrunner is made exile from the human world because he is a roller coaster. So everyone gets to have ham-handed tragic past! Which is basically "got exiled". I'm really not sure how this is really supposed to mesh and all that and feels so out of place with everything else.
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Mar 29, 2013 12:58
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You know, I actually like the way she draws some characters, or at least I like what they could have been if she wasn't obsessed with were-roller-coasters and super-special-lightning-powers. Look at Thunderbark for a second. Replace the wheels with big sticky toes (like those on tree frogs), replace the seats with large scales or bony plates (like those on a Stegosaurus), keep the segmented body, but remove the empty space between the segments, and do something about the final segment so that it doesn't look like someone flattened it with a cleaver. You get a really bizarre and unique amphibian creature. Although she really needs to learn to draw joints better. Those look painful.
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Mar 29, 2013 13:38
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I remember when the drawing of the roller coaster ultrasound showed up in the Weird DeviantArt Stuff thread. I didn't suspect that there was a whole epic saga to go along with it. I agree whole-heartedly with the observation made early on that plot points that are kind of boring and rote in a werewolf story become downright magical when they are instead found in a tale about a guy who turns into a psychotic carnivorous roller coaster car. I'd go ahead and say the same thing applies to all these Original Characters (Do Not Steal). If they were just another round of recolored wolves or dragons with angsty dark mysterious pasts and super-special powers that kick in as the plot demands and who were destined to save the world, it'd be boring. Seeing sapient theme park rides with such traits is at least a new one. Speaking of special powers, we know both coasters and bumper cars can manipulate electricity, and on top of that, coasters appear to be apex predator of the (involuntary cringe) Amusement Park Between, with fangs and claws and blah. So what, if anything, can carousel animals do? (Chalk me up as another reader who imagined Merrylegs' running as more along the lines of the carousel horses in "Mary Poppins".) E: Iced Cocoa posted:There was one other carousel horse that is a Oh, Christ, she's not a zebra, is she? 
Rahonavis fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Apr 8, 2013 |
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Mar 29, 2013 21:54
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Rahonavis posted:Speaking of special powers, we know both coasters and bumper cars can manipulate electricity, and on top of that, coasters appear to be apex predator of the (involuntary cringe) Amusement Park Between, with fangs and claws and blah. So what, if anything, can carousel animals do? (Chalk me up as another reader who imagined Merrylegs' running as more along the lines of the carousel horses in "Mary Poppins".) Merrylegs has one special talent because she's a unicorn. And then there was one other carousel horse that is a
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Mar 29, 2013 22:23
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JosephWongKS posted:Bonus Content The typesetting on these is killing me. It's 2013! For god's sake, even Notepad automatically wraps lines of text. All those hyphens 
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Mar 30, 2013 03:16
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Iced Cocoa, by way of JWKS posted:So, her boyfriend is a monster. Just before he kills her she's taken by a carousel horse into a locked underground storage shed, where said carousel horse changes into a human, feeds her some unbelievable story, then tells her to hop on back to escape the carnival. Am I the only one who has any problems with that? Clare is a floormat, simply put. Actually, this is one thing I didn't have too much of a problem with. I mean, imagine your significant other changed into a rollercoaster before your eyes, and you were saved by a sentient, lone carousel horse who tells you that said other is a werecoaster. There is pretty much no other response to that other than "Uh... alright, then."
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Mar 30, 2013 23:23
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JosephWongKS posted:Bonus Content I've always wanted to see a bumper car's serious face.
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Mar 31, 2013 00:23
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Against my better judgement, have a dramatic reading. Apologies for my accent.
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Mar 31, 2013 02:01
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my dad posted:Against my better judgement, have a dramatic reading.  The cat meowing took me by surprise. This was great!
Mercedes fucked around with this message at 07:59 on Apr 1, 2013 |
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Mar 31, 2013 02:34
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Why are you apologizing for your accent? This is downright magical! I agree with Mercedes, the cat meow was just the cherry on the top.
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Mar 31, 2013 17:53
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There's something about Railrunner's behavior, the "broody dude learns he's really a super-awesome magical creature" plot, how little the author seems to care about the other ride characters, and especially the design of the roller-coasters and their powers that make me wonder if maybe Ms. Leeks used to be just another crazy dragon person on DeviantArt. Then one day, very likely due to Internet Drama, she decided, "Well, now my dragons are ALSO roller-coasters! Because I need to be more different and special than YOU!" By the way, I can't be the only one who initially read the roller coasters' first pairs of seats as their eyes. I also like how she doesn't even bother to mention anywhere in the text that Merrylegs is a unicorn, not just a horse.
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Apr 1, 2013 01:03
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I wonder if there's anyone who sees the Gold rating for this thread but lacks the time to actually read the thread, and goes away with the impression that this "Twisted" must be a really good book.
JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Apr 1, 2013 |
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Apr 1, 2013 03:01
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Then they'll probably buy the book itself without reading the previous reviews and discover the craziness all by themselves. And there's a new smilie in the forum, I don't know where it came from but it sums up the book perfectly. 
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Apr 1, 2013 03:08
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Iced Cocoa posted:And there's a new smilie in the forum, I don't know where it came from but it sums up the book perfectly. It is thanks to a an LP of a Rom Hack called FIRE EMBLEM DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OSTIAN PRINCESS (always spelled in all caps, colons optional). It's in here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3534931&pagenumber=3#post412804774 People in the thread were incredulous just how ~magical~ it was, and wasn't enough, so was born.Even if you're not into FE, if you're in this thread, you should check it out.
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Apr 1, 2013 19:44
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JosephWongKS posted:Bonus Content That roller-coaster dresses like a complete douchenozzle. Huh, there's a sentence I never expected to say. Another problem I have with this book. Why the gently caress does Rodney keep eating poo poo? HOW does he keep eating? Where do it go? Where does leave? Why wouldn't they run on electricity or something? Another thing, wouldn't it make more sense for a ride to want someone to ride them? Instead of "trying to destroy the one they love most" or whatever the gently caress? I don't actually expect any answers to these questions but holy poo poo this is stupid in so many ways and on so many levels.
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Apr 3, 2013 07:33
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paragon1 posted:That roller-coaster dresses like a complete douchenozzle. She basically copied wholesale the elements of a were-wolf story, except that elements that are merely tripe and cliched in a were-wolf story become beautifully and when transplanted into a were-roller-coaster story.
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Apr 3, 2013 08:33
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Yeah, most of the  seems to come from the author being lazy and thoughtless. You could say that about this whole thing really.
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Apr 4, 2013 07:33
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