Funny Pictures XIII: The chain mails of tomorrow, today!

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Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

Vicas posted:

I spent 12 years in Catholic schools and got taught about evolution, social justice obligations, and how homosexuals are actually people who deserve just as much respect as anyone else, so it really does depend on the school. We watched that episode of Futurama where Bender meets God in Scripture class, too.

We watched that same episode in a theology-centric philosophy class in college and it ended up spurring the best class wide conversation of the term.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 17:29

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:21

reitetsu: Sep 27, 2009; Should you find yourself here one day... In accordance with your crimes, you can rest assured I will give you the treatment you deserve.

Vicas posted:

I spent 12 years in Catholic schools and got taught about evolution, social justice obligations, and how homosexuals are actually people who deserve just as much respect as anyone else, so it really does depend on the school. We watched that episode of Futurama where Bender meets God in Scripture class, too.

1-12 Catholic school buddy!

Despite not being personally religious, the mandatory Theology classes in high school were some of my favorites. First year was bland but we had a hilarious sex ed teacher (who I later learned quit after the school went to an abstinence only program :smith:

), second year was Hebrew Scripture in a mostly historical context, third was social justice taught by a man who was incredibly passionate about such, and senior year somehow all the Honors/AP kids got put in there and we had amazing debates every single day. As well, every one of my science classes was full of actual science, with evolution taught first thing freshman year.

For non-Catholic-school talk, here is a koala whose bath we are interrupting:

# ? Apr 26, 2013 17:41

Joebungaloe: Apr 3, 2007

DrBouvenstein posted:

It's like if Bob from Bob's Burgers was real, and made pizzas instead of burgers.

Where is this in Williamsburg? I live in Newport News and now *must* eat here.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 18:07

Irish Taxi Driver: Sep 12, 2004; We're just gonna open our tool palette and... get some entities... how about some nice happy trees? We'll put them near this barn. Give that cow some shade... There.

Joebungaloe posted:

Where is this in Williamsburg? I live in Newport News and now *must* eat here.

Vinnie�s Pizzeria, 148 Bedford Ave, Williamsburg, NY, 11211

OR

Vinnie�s Pizzeria, 253 Nassau Ave, Greenpoint, NY, 11222

from their tumblr: http://specialbored.tumblr.com/

EDIT: Heres their other game of thrones ones: http://specialbored.tumblr.com/post/46842699110

# ? Apr 26, 2013 18:13

RoyKeen: Jul 24, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Joebungaloe posted:

Where is this in Williamsburg? I live in Newport News and now *must* eat here.

It's only like a 6 hour drive.

Edit: DAGNABBIT!

# ? Apr 26, 2013 18:13

Joebungaloe: Apr 3, 2007

Irish Taxi Driver posted:

Vinnie�s Pizzeria, 148 Bedford Ave, Williamsburg, NY, 11211

OR

Vinnie�s Pizzeria, 253 Nassau Ave, Greenpoint, NY, 11222

from their tumblr: http://specialbored.tumblr.com/

EDIT: Heres their other game of thrones ones: http://specialbored.tumblr.com/post/46842699110

Nooooooooooooo....

# ? Apr 26, 2013 18:15

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Irish Taxi Driver posted:

from their tumblr: http://specialbored.tumblr.com/

EDIT: Heres their other game of thrones ones: http://specialbored.tumblr.com/post/46842699110

Holy poo poo, this one:

Edit: Too bad there's no pizza to go with this one:

# ? Apr 26, 2013 18:16

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Irish Taxi Driver posted:

Vinnie�s Pizzeria, 148 Bedford Ave, Williamsburg, NY, 11211

OR

Vinnie�s Pizzeria, 253 Nassau Ave, Greenpoint, NY, 11222

from their tumblr: http://specialbored.tumblr.com/

EDIT: Heres their other game of thrones ones: http://specialbored.tumblr.com/post/46842699110

I can't stop laughing at Inbred-ed Eggplant.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 18:19

Talby: Nov 28, 2002

Joebungaloe posted:

Where is this in Williamsburg? I live in Newport News and now *must* eat here.

Newport News crew :hfive:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Apr 26, 2013 20:28

Tagra: Apr 7, 2006; If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

dijon du jour posted:

The backside of the quiz is even weirder than the front:

Well then what DID the ark look like?!?? And how do they know - were they there? :colbert:

Funny signs:

# ? Apr 26, 2013 20:41

DontMockMySmock: Aug 9, 2008; I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

What really gets me about Answers in Genesis's version of creationism is that it's not even consistent with itself. If there were dinosaurs before the Flood, then Noah must have put them on the Ark when he got two of every land animal, and so they didn't get killed off by the flood.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 21:00

Lucy Heartfilia: May 31, 2012

Noah didn't save the dinosaurs because they were all atheists.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 21:10

Lazlow: Nov 30, 2004

DontMockMySmock posted:

What really gets me about Answers in Genesis's version of creationism is that it's not even consistent with itself. If there were dinosaurs before the Flood, then Noah must have put them on the Ark when he got two of every land animal, and so they didn't get killed off by the flood.

Eleven years of fundamental Baptist schooling here, I got this. Pull up a chair, children. :chord:

Noah DID get two of every dinosaur. You see, the ark was big enough to house two of every animal on the Earth at the time, including dinosaurs - on only ONE floor of it, even. So, no problem. To understand the reason they died, you have to realize that before the flood there was a "water canopy" that surrounded the planet. Think of it as an outer coating of ice that held water, with another shell of ice keeping that water in check and out of Earth's atmosphere and off the surface. This created a Very Special Biosphere which allowed such huge creatures like dinosaurs to exist, as well as giant humans, and it also allowed humans to live for several hundreds of years (remember, Noah was 600 when he built the ark, and died when he was 950, no biggie). There was also no darkness, at least not as we know it today; during the day the water canopy made the sky a nice shade of pinkish orange (tells the brain it's time to work), and at night it was a nice, mellow shade of blue (tells the brain it's time to rest).

But mankind done hosed up the planet what with all the sinning, and all the negative vibes from said sinning caused the water canopy to bust, releasing all that water, which flooded the Earth. It also busted all the water out of the ground, which, together with the sky-water, created the oceans we see today. After the Very Special Biosphere was no more, all the dinos died off, and the atmosphere changed, and that (along with human sin) caused more and more detrimental mutations to human bodies, to where we're lucky to see 70 or 80 nowadays.

Not kidding, not even a little bit. Here, have a space couch.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 21:36

Peas and Rice: Jul 14, 2004; Honor and profit.

Lazlow posted:

Eleven years of fundamental Baptist schooling here, I got this. Pull up a chair, children.

Noah DID get two of every dinosaur. You see, the ark was big enough to house two of every animal on the Earth at the time, including dinosaurs - on only ONE floor of it, even. So, no problem. To understand the reason they died, you have to realize that before the flood there was a "water canopy" that surrounded the planet. Think of it as an outer coating of ice that held water, with another shell of ice keeping that water in check and out of Earth's atmosphere and off the surface. This created a Very Special Biosphere which allowed such huge creatures like dinosaurs to exist, as well as giant humans, and it also allowed humans to live for several hundreds of years (remember, Noah was 600 when he built the ark, and died when he was 950, no biggie). There was also no darkness, at least not as we know it today; during the day the water canopy made the sky a nice shade of pinkish orange (tells the brain it's time to work), and at night it was a nice, mellow shade of blue (tells the brain it's time to rest).

But mankind done hosed up the planet what with all the sinning, and all the negative vibes from said sinning caused the water canopy to bust, releasing all that water, which flooded the Earth. It also busted all the water out of the ground, which, together with the sky-water, created the oceans we see today. After the Very Special Biosphere was no more, all the dinos died off, and the atmosphere changed, and that (along with human sin) caused more and more detrimental mutations to human bodies, to where we're lucky to see 70 or 80 nowadays.

Not kidding, not even a little bit. Here, have a space couch.

So the best young earth creationists can do to try and debunk the massive amounts of evidence for evolution is to write some lovely bible fanfiction?

Fundamental indeed.

E: some related hilarious imagery to accompany my very unfunny post.

Peas and Rice has a new favorite as of 21:42 on Apr 26, 2013

# ? Apr 26, 2013 21:40

cobalt impurity: Apr 23, 2010; I hope he didn't care about that pizza.

Lazlow posted:

Eleven years of fundamental Baptist schooling here, I got this. Pull up a chair, children.

Noah DID get two of every dinosaur. You see, the ark was big enough to house two of every animal on the Earth at the time, including dinosaurs - on only ONE floor of it, even. So, no problem. To understand the reason they died, you have to realize that before the flood there was a "water canopy" that surrounded the planet. Think of it as an outer coating of ice that held water, with another shell of ice keeping that water in check and out of Earth's atmosphere and off the surface. This created a Very Special Biosphere which allowed such huge creatures like dinosaurs to exist, as well as giant humans, and it also allowed humans to live for several hundreds of years (remember, Noah was 600 when he built the ark, and died when he was 950, no biggie). There was also no darkness, at least not as we know it today; during the day the water canopy made the sky a nice shade of pinkish orange (tells the brain it's time to work), and at night it was a nice, mellow shade of blue (tells the brain it's time to rest).

But mankind done hosed up the planet what with all the sinning, and all the negative vibes from said sinning caused the water canopy to bust, releasing all that water, which flooded the Earth. It also busted all the water out of the ground, which, together with the sky-water, created the oceans we see today. After the Very Special Biosphere was no more, all the dinos died off, and the atmosphere changed, and that (along with human sin) caused more and more detrimental mutations to human bodies, to where we're lucky to see 70 or 80 nowadays.

I'm curious how this factors in the dinosaurs that were the size of turkeys or sheep, or why something as large as an elephant could live, but this is neither the time nor place.

Here have an image about evolution instead:

# ? Apr 26, 2013 21:55

Roger Tangerines: Apr 15, 2013; by Debbie Metallica

Lazlow posted:

Noah DID get two of every dinosaur. You see, the ark was big enough to house two of every animal on the Earth at the time, including dinosaurs - on only ONE floor of it, even. So, no problem. To understand the reason they died, you have to realize that before the flood there was a "water canopy" that surrounded the planet. Think of it as an outer coating of ice that held water, with another shell of ice keeping that water in check and out of Earth's atmosphere and off the surface. This created a Very Special Biosphere which allowed such huge creatures like dinosaurs to exist, as well as giant humans, and it also allowed humans to live for several hundreds of years (remember, Noah was 600 when he built the ark, and died when he was 950, no biggie). There was also no darkness, at least not as we know it today; during the day the water canopy made the sky a nice shade of pinkish orange (tells the brain it's time to work), and at night it was a nice, mellow shade of blue (tells the brain it's time to rest).

Man, at what point while coming up with this poo poo does a person not think "wait, hold on a minute, I'm actually making all of this up!" and come up with a more plausible answer, or accept that they don't know the exact details?

It's kind of telling that when given a problem like dinosaurs on the Ark, a religious crazy will immediately adopt the tried-and-tested strategy of positing the existence of an incredible-but-ineffable wonder-thing that solves aaaall the issues you have with the concept, and then presenting it as solid, non-negotiable fact. Say what you will about religious fundamentalists, but they've found their method and they're sticking with it. The old bullet-proof-helmet dodge.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 22:10

Sub-Actuality: Apr 17, 2007

Lazlow posted:

For what it's worth, I would seriously love to read a thread devoted to this stuff from an "insider" point of view, it's completely mystifying.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 22:15

OUTLAWDAN: Jan 20, 2013; and a SCHOLAR

# ? Apr 26, 2013 22:23

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

Radio Paranoia posted:

Maybe it's like those old 100-in-1 NES carts where it's just three versions of Highlander with different colours?

Those tended to work by starting players on different levels; for example, "Mario A" would start you off on level 1, "Mario B" on level 2, etc.

I'm imagining different versions of Highlander that start halfway into the movie with no explanation of what's going on. :allears:

In all actuality I imagine it's just their bizarre way of noting that they have different language dubs.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 22:42

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012

Segmentation Fault posted:

Those tended to work by starting players on different levels; for example, "Mario A" would start you off on level 1, "Mario B" on level 2, etc.

I'm imagining different versions of Highlander that start halfway into the movie with no explanation of what's going on. In all actuality I imagine it's just their bizarre way of noting that they have different language dubs.

And beyond "H" the levels would be glitchy nonsense.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 23:00

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

Segmentation Fault posted:

Those tended to work by starting players on different levels; for example, "Mario A" would start you off on level 1, "Mario B" on level 2, etc.

I'm imagining different versions of Highlander that start halfway into the movie with no explanation of what's going on.

This is actually how I watched Goodfellas for the first time.

# ? Apr 26, 2013 23:56

yippeekiyaymf: May 16, 2002; You seriously have issues.

Go catch more racoons in a net and step away from the computer.

# ? Apr 27, 2013 00:08

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

yippeekiyaymf posted:

I remember that episode of the Twilight Zone

# ? Apr 27, 2013 00:30

Diabeesting: Apr 29, 2006; turn right to escape

Palpek posted:

I took this exact poster from my old highschool library in a well executed Siddhartha-centered heist, and then went on to pioneer a READ campaign at my horrible redneck university. There's a poster of me dressed as Sherlock Holmes reading the collected works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle hanging above the front desk of the library now. It is my greatest wish that someday someone will steal that poster and found their own READ campaign at a better school.

# ? Apr 27, 2013 00:41

xxEightxx: Mar 5, 2010; Oh, it's true. You are Brock Landers!; Salad Prong

Vicas posted:

I remember that episode of the Twilight Zone

You mean the one where the pig nosed people attacked?

# ? Apr 27, 2013 00:51

bpower: Feb 19, 2011

yippeekiyaymf posted:

OK I give up whats happening here? I think its some sort of sale but what am I looking at?

# ? Apr 27, 2013 01:03

Mescal: Jul 23, 2005

Lazlow posted:

Eleven years of fundamental Baptist schooling here, I got this. Pull up a chair, children.

Noah DID get two of every dinosaur. You see, the ark was big enough to house two of every animal on the Earth at the time, including dinosaurs - on only ONE floor of it, even. So, no problem. To understand the reason they died, you have to realize that before the flood there was a "water canopy" that surrounded the planet. Think of it as an outer coating of ice that held water, with another shell of ice keeping that water in check and out of Earth's atmosphere and off the surface. This created a Very Special Biosphere which allowed such huge creatures like dinosaurs to exist, as well as giant humans, and it also allowed humans to live for several hundreds of years (remember, Noah was 600 when he built the ark, and died when he was 950, no biggie). There was also no darkness, at least not as we know it today; during the day the water canopy made the sky a nice shade of pinkish orange (tells the brain it's time to work), and at night it was a nice, mellow shade of blue (tells the brain it's time to rest).

The "water canopy" is the truth because in Genesis, God "separated the waters" while he was creating the earth, which obviously means that there was water on the earth and water above. People didn't get cancer back then, because the water canopy protected us from UV light, so they lived hundreds of years. The other reason people didn't get cancer back then is because they didn't eat processed foods.

And evolution is wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics (entropy,) which states that things always get worse. Evolution is obviously the opposite of decay, therefore it cannot exist because it breaks the laws of science. Oh, and this only applies to macroevolution. Microevolution does exist; it's plain to see.

# ? Apr 27, 2013 01:04

Ape Has Killed Ape: Sep 15, 2005

xxEightxx posted:

You mean the one where the pig nosed people attacked?

What? No, he's talking about the one with that horribly disfigured woman, and they couldn't fix it with surgery. It has kind of a happy ending where she goes to live with all the other ugly people, but still. A village of horrifically ugly people, just going about their business like normal. That's a creepy as hell thought. What if you accidentally wandered into it? :ohdear:

# ? Apr 27, 2013 01:14

Mr. Gibbycrumbles: Aug 30, 2004; Do you think your paladin sword can defeat me?

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style

Ape Has Killed Ape posted:

What? No, he's talking about the one with that horribly disfigured woman, and they couldn't fix it with surgery. It has kind of a happy ending where she goes to live with all the other ugly people, but still. A village of horrifically ugly people, just going about their business like normal. That's a creepy as hell thought. What if you accidentally wandered into it?

I live in Britain, so this is like an average day.

# ? Apr 27, 2013 01:23

SpazmasterX: Jul 13, 2006; Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~

Mescal posted:

The "water canopy" is the truth because in Genesis, God "separated the waters" while he was creating the earth, which obviously means that there was water on the earth and water above. People didn't get cancer back then, because the water canopy protected us from UV light, so they lived hundreds of years. The other reason people didn't get cancer back then is because they didn't eat processed foods.

And evolution is wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics (entropy,) which states that things always get worse. Evolution is obviously the opposite of decay, therefore it cannot exist because it breaks the laws of science. Oh, and this only applies to macroevolution. Microevolution does exist; it's plain to see.

I realize you're fakeposting, but that fact that plenty of people would say exactly this and be completely serious makes me sad.

# ? Apr 27, 2013 01:26

Crow Jane: Oct 18, 2012; nothin' wrong with a lady drinkin' alone in her room

Regarding all this creationism chat, I came across a doozy this past Christmas. I stopped in a random second hand shop to look for wrapping paper, happened to glance at the books section, and pulled out what I thought was an awesome book about dragons. It was gorgeously illustrated, and I thought it would go great with the knight playset I'd bought for my friends' kid.

Bought it for fifty cents, took it home, and browsed through it with my partner. Turns out dragons and dinosaurs are the same thing, the bible says so. Dinosaurs were actually much smaller than we thought they were, that's why they could fit so comfortably on the ark. And did you know they were all vegetarians?

Needless to say, I did not give it to my friends' child, as I do not want my friends to murder me. However, I can scan choice bits if anyone's interested...

# ? Apr 27, 2013 01:37

Kitten Head Ridge: Apr 3, 2009; It is surprising how much space is needed to 'swing a cat'!

I think those pig masks were used in a couple different episodes of The Twilight Zone (they were for certain used in the episode that Ape Has Killed Ape has referenced), but I'm not certain and I really don't feel like checking this at the moment.

# ? Apr 27, 2013 01:42

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Ape Has Killed Ape posted:

What? No, he's talking about the one with that horribly disfigured woman, and they couldn't fix it with surgery. It has kind of a happy ending where she goes to live with all the other ugly people, but still. A village of horrifically ugly people, just going about their business like normal. That's a creepy as hell thought. What if you accidentally wandered into it?

# ? Apr 27, 2013 02:06

Antifa Spacemarine: Jan 11, 2011; Tzeentch can suck it.

SpazmasterX posted:

I realize you're fakeposting, but that fact that plenty of people would say exactly this and be completely serious makes me sad.

I actually met someone who thought the thing about entropy, and he made sure to very patronizingly tell me that that means if you throw a deck of cards out of the window it won't land as a sorted deck or something equally stupid.

Anyway here's some related content:

And unrelated:

# ? Apr 27, 2013 02:12

Super Dan: Jan 26, 2006

Crow Jane posted:

Regarding all this creationism chat, I came across a doozy this past Christmas. I stopped in a random second hand shop to look for wrapping paper, happened to glance at the books section, and pulled out what I thought was an awesome book about dragons. It was gorgeously illustrated, and I thought it would go great with the knight playset I'd bought for my friends' kid.

Bought it for fifty cents, took it home, and browsed through it with my partner. Turns out dragons and dinosaurs are the same thing, the bible says so. Dinosaurs were actually much smaller than we thought they were, that's why they could fit so comfortably on the ark. And did you know they were all vegetarians?

Needless to say, I did not give it to my friends' child, as I do not want my friends to murder me. However, I can scan choice bits if anyone's interested...

...then why are dinosaur fossils so big? And if they're going to ignore fossils, why not just say dinosaurs didn't exist?

# ? Apr 27, 2013 02:23

squeee: Apr 23, 2009; the thrill of the chase.

bpower posted:

OK I give up whats happening here? I think its some sort of sale but what am I looking at?

That's Kris Jenner (of Kardashian fame or anti-fame), look at girl with used the window to make a pig nose in the top left of the picture. :ssh:

# ? Apr 27, 2013 02:26

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

Crow Jane posted:

Regarding all this creationism chat, I came across a doozy this past Christmas. I stopped in a random second hand shop to look for wrapping paper, happened to glance at the books section, and pulled out what I thought was an awesome book about dragons. It was gorgeously illustrated, and I thought it would go great with the knight playset I'd bought for my friends' kid.

Bought it for fifty cents, took it home, and browsed through it with my partner. Turns out dragons and dinosaurs are the same thing, the bible says so. Dinosaurs were actually much smaller than we thought they were, that's why they could fit so comfortably on the ark. And did you know they were all vegetarians?

Needless to say, I did not give it to my friends' child, as I do not want my friends to murder me. However, I can scan choice bits if anyone's interested...

I say make a thread about it in GBS, and everyone talking about their childhood science classes teaching about water domes or whatever can go talk about it there. (Also I asked my boyfriend, who went to a catholic school up until college, and yes he was also taught the "water shield" thing and all the crazyness with the light and 900 years old and whatnot. Apparently Kent Hovind was spreading it or something.)

Here's some weights: