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El Hefe posted:I'll never forgive the show for cutting Strong Belwas. That's the flag for the final confrontation! Now you have to meet the showrunners on a beach around noon where first they will kick your rear end but, when you seem to be beaten and left on all fours, you will clench a handful of sand in your quaking fist and declare "You! You alone can I not forgive!" then jump to your feet as the series themesong plays in the background and you do your rollcall pose and catchphrase. Then you kill them and they fall over, exploding into a giant fireball.
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May 3, 2013 02:59
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Strong Belwas was left out, and Tormund Giantsbane hasn't mentioned his dick or raping bears ONCE. Did D&D even READ these loving books?
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May 3, 2013 03:06
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:That's the flag for the final confrontation! Now you have to meet the showrunners on a beach around noon where first they will kick your rear end but, when you seem to be beaten and left on all fours, you will clench a handful of sand in your quaking fist and declare "You! You alone can I not forgive!" then jump to your feet as the series themesong plays in the background and you do your rollcall pose and catchphrase. And then I'll poo poo down their necks.
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May 3, 2013 03:17
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So my fairly normal friend that loves the show says he's reading through the books but kinda slowly, since he knows mostly what happens already, which is fair, maybe he'll get through them eventually, he's not a reader. His wife, who has bouts of what the hell, wanted to know more, so sensibly she wiki'd the rest of the books to get all the main plot points with none of the buildup or context, just so she'd know what would happen. She owns shelves chock full of McCaffrey et al. Yeah.
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May 3, 2013 03:31
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El Hefe posted:And then I'll poo poo down their necks. That's a legitimate tactic.
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May 3, 2013 03:32
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ZearothK posted:I actually spilled my drink laughing at this. There's no way he isn't doing it on purpose now, I can't help but admire this GURM. I hope you're right and this all culminates in Gurm releasing a sequel that's just Hodor quotes.
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May 3, 2013 03:36
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savinhill posted:I hope you're right and this all culminates in Gurm releasing a sequel that's just Hodor quotes. "This Hodor quote sounds like a Hodor quote from the books, not one from the show! I ain't readin' this poo poo!" --A babby thread poster, throwing his copy of Hodor Uncensored: Quotes from Hodor across the room in repulsion.
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May 3, 2013 07:42
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Arrrthritis posted:And so the transition from TVIVer to Wild Card begins. At least we can keep telling Tiny Turtle all about the Battle of Casterly Rock.
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May 3, 2013 09:06
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Joramun posted:"This Hodor quote sounds like a Hodor quote from the books, not one from the show! I ain't readin' this poo poo!" All the Hodor quotes would have several paragraphs of context, and thus spoil the unwary.
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May 3, 2013 12:17
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SaviourX posted:sensibly she wiki'd the rest of the books to get all the main plot points with none of the buildup or context, just so she'd know what would happen. This is the optimal way to absorb the last two books.
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May 3, 2013 13:27
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The proper way to absorb the last two books is via an enema.
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May 3, 2013 13:32
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I wonder how Ned even found the tower of joy. It's supposed to be out in bum gently caress nowhere and I doubt Rhaegar told more than his Kingsguard about it. The only thing I can think of is Howland Reed or someone knowing because :magic: or Barristan Selmy ratting out its location after the war was all but over. That would seem out of character for him being an honorable dude, though.
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May 3, 2013 13:46
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Vigilance posted:I wonder how Ned even found the tower of joy. It's supposed to be out in bum gently caress nowhere and I doubt Rhaegar told more than his Kingsguard about it. The only thing I can think of is Howland Reed or someone knowing because :magic: or Barristan Selmy ratting out its location after the war was all but over. That would seem out of character for him being an honorable dude, though. I think if Ned asked Barriston he would tell him, better to leave Lianna with her brother than let the Mountain show up. Though he might not have because the rest of the King's Guard were there.. I'd imagine you could find the tower on a map though.
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May 3, 2013 14:06
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Ashara Dayne probably told Ned, given their history and that she must have known where her brother was. Explains why she killed herself afterwards when it turns out Ned killed her brother (and giving birth to a stillborn daughter probably didn't help). (When I say history I don't mean "romantic" history. The Stark who "dishonored" Ashara was likely Brandon, not Ned.)
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May 3, 2013 14:24
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Opening scene: Ned dies. It will make them filthy rich
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May 3, 2013 17:14
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In It For The Tank posted:
I don't recall the books ever stating that it was specifically a Stark, just that it was "someone." I think people assume it's Ned because he was in love with her or something.
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May 3, 2013 18:32
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Mnemosyne posted:I don't recall the books ever stating that it was specifically a Stark, just that it was "someone." I think people assume it's Ned because he was in love with her or something. Barristan's POV in ADWD confirms that Ashara slept with a Stark at the Tourney at Harrenhal, without actually revealing whether it was Ned or Brandon.
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May 3, 2013 19:57
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jeffersonlives posted:Barristan's POV in ADWD confirms that Ashara slept with a Stark at the Tourney at Harrenhal, without actually revealing whether it was Ned or Brandon.
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May 3, 2013 20:09
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It could very well have been Benjen. Offered the wall or death for laying with her while she was bethrothed, a maiden or something similar.
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May 3, 2013 20:18
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In my dreams I am the prince who was promised It's me And then the big man comes For a little One on one And he bashes me into paste in the river
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May 3, 2013 20:33
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It could have been Benjen in the sense of "he was at the tournament, he might have been old enough to have sex, and his name is Stark," but we have no evidence pointing at anything with Benjen and Ashara while we have a lot of evidence pointing at Ned and Ashara being an important relationship and a little evidence pointing at Brandon and Ashara.
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May 3, 2013 20:35
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jeffersonlives posted:Barristan's POV in ADWD confirms that Ashara slept with a Stark at the Tourney at Harrenhal, without actually revealing whether it was Ned or Brandon. Ok, I guess I forgot about that. I'm currently re-reading them all, and I just started ADWD.
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May 3, 2013 20:36
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Remember when Ashara Dayne, Arthur Dayne, the Tower of Joy, the laughing knight, and that tournament were never mentioned in the show? Also I had a terrible nightmare that involved a scene with either Frey or Bolton giving the order to "make Robb pay at the wedding" and then cackling at the camera before it cuts to the credits, totally ruining any moment of surprise, and I woke in a cold sweat
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May 3, 2013 20:43
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jeffersonlives posted:It could have been Benjen in the sense of "he was at the tournament, he might have been old enough to have sex, and his name is Stark," but we have no evidence pointing at anything with Benjen and Ashara while we have a lot of evidence pointing at Ned and Ashara being an important relationship and a little evidence pointing at Brandon and Ashara. Reminder that Gurm is not good at technical details like how a wildling archer could shoot an arrow seven-loving-hundred feet vertically and then also be accurate enough that the clever MiB had to put up dummies to hide behind* and also that children are in sexual situations. Or the appropriateness of that. I'm eagerly awaiting Tyrion's wedding night and his fat purple mast, is what I'm trying to say. *They might could have giants for archers but in the book they seemed more focused on bashing in the gate or something. Not that book stuff matters in the show but that's the only thing that I could think of to make sense of that.
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May 3, 2013 21:04
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So I was in a shop the other day and saw that lemoncakes were being sold. Thanks to this thread I ended up having an image of Gurm masturbating and suddenly didn't feel hungry.
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May 3, 2013 23:13
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NwahNerevar posted:So I was in a shop the other day and saw that lemoncakes were being sold. Thanks to this thread I ended up having an image of Gurm masturbating and suddenly didn't feel hungry.
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May 3, 2013 23:35
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Don't worry, the last books will be good!
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May 4, 2013 00:14
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Urdnot Fire posted:Would you say that your tummy hurt? No, because then I would've masturbated in the shop.
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May 4, 2013 00:15
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This is crucial Grum scholars, in any of the books, are tummy and lemoncakes mentioned in the same sentence, or at least paragraph?
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May 4, 2013 00:39
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Hello. My name is Sansa Stark. You upset my tummy. Prepare to die.
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May 4, 2013 00:40
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We're #161,472 on the Amazon bestsellers list!
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May 4, 2013 04:34
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:We're #161,472 on the Amazon bestsellers list!
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May 4, 2013 05:02
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The old English formal version was tumach.
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May 4, 2013 05:35
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stawk Archer posted:Don't worry, the last books will be good! If you think this has an ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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May 4, 2013 05:47
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rejutka posted:The old English formal version was tumach. I'm glad I'm not crazy, I've said "tumach" before, but I'm not proud of it. I am proud of Amazon best seller A Game Of Bones, however.
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May 4, 2013 06:20
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syscall girl posted:Reminder that Gurm is not good at technical details like how a wildling archer could shoot an arrow seven-loving-hundred feet vertically... Just addressing this now, because I was curious enough to seek out an answer to the question: assuming that wildling bows can fire an arrow at speeds between 60-100 mph, which is a pretty reasonable assumption given the materials and technology that would be available to a group of nomads in the icy north, they would be topping out between ~128-200 feet upwards. And note that these are the maximum heights for arrows fired, meaning that even if they were to drop the height of the Wall down to these more reasonable numbers (with the excuse that "800 feet" was hyperbole) the arrows wouldn't be moving fast enough to do any damage. I know it has already been established that Grrm has no sense of scale, but there might as well be some numeric proofs to go along with it. The formula and numbers used can be found here: http://www.algebra.com/algebra/homework/word/travel/Travel_Word_Problems.faq.question.88682.html Though, speaking of the Wall, have any crazy people come up with numbers for the version seen in the show? It looks to be a much more reasonable height than what is cited in the literature, but once again actual numbers would show how silly the whole thing is.
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May 4, 2013 09:28
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Gravity is lower in Westeros and a "foot" is actually 4 of ours.
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May 4, 2013 09:43
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The gravity explains the dragons, maybe. I know it's a fantasy thing, but dragon-flight along the lines of what Drogon was doing during the trading scene has always bothered me. As to the second point, doesn't that make the Wall actually 3200 feet? Or did you mean one of our feet is four of theirs? Now I'm just picturing all of the characters with these gigantic clown shoes on. All of the sex scenes just got a lot more awkward... unless you're into that kind of thing?
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May 4, 2013 09:53
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GRRM probably wrote the Wall at 700 feet because he thought that it was an impressive number and never paid it any attention. When they were making that rather atrocious GoT RPG for the consoles and PC, they showed him a 1:1 scale model of the wall and he said "I wrote it too big". http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2012/05/02/game-of-thrones-preview/ He probably thought 700 feet would look like 300 or 400, which is still pretty ridiculous for a sheer wall of magic ice.
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May 4, 2013 12:03
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Just to put it in perspective. The Wildlings were firing arrows, THIS HIGH; It's pretty funny that GURM based the wall on Hadrian's Wall, something you can step over in some parts.
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May 4, 2013 14:23
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