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JosephWongKS posted:Is water supposed to smell “sweet”? I… I just don’t know any more. I wouldn't describe the smell of water as "sweet." Fresh water is more heavy and cool, like a fresh breeze on a humid day. Salt water carries more of a dry, dusty scent, the smell of salted sand baking in a noonday sun. Marshes, bogs, and swamps layer the freshwater smell with green decay, the smell of wet leaves and inviting flowers and rotting moss, the smell of life packed close together and competing for existence. Nothing terribly "sweet," though. quote:Make up your mind. Is the river “glittering” or “murky”? Murky water can glitter. Glittering is more a function of wind than of clarity; the river in my city is a solid brown, but it can glitter like a barren field sown with the dust of a thousand diamonds same as any body of water. Crystals can be murky, too, although you don't usually refer to such when using "crystal" as an adjective. Sorry about that. Nature always brings out the poet in me.
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May 5, 2013 05:28
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Bobbin Threadbare posted:I wouldn't describe the smell of water as "sweet." Fresh water is more heavy and cool, like a fresh breeze on a humid day. Salt water carries more of a dry, dusty scent, the smell of salted sand baking in a noonday sun. Marshes, bogs, and swamps layer the freshwater smell with green decay, the smell of wet leaves and inviting flowers and rotting moss, the smell of life packed close together and competing for existence. Challenge to the writers and aspiring writers in this thread: Rewrite Bobbin Threadbare's metaphors the way Miranda Leek would have described them.
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May 5, 2013 07:21
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JosephWongKS posted:Challenge to the writers and aspiring writers in this thread: Rewrite Bobbin Threadbare's metaphors the way Miranda Leek would have described them. ''Miranda Leek'' posted:I wouldnt characterize the sent of water as "sweat." Fresh water is more cumbersome and frigid, like a fresh zephyr on a iriguous day. Sigh. Salt water bears more of a dry, dusty sent, the smell of blood baking in a miridian sun. Sigh. Marches bogs and swamps cover the freshwater sent with green rot, the smell of wet folioles and magnetic flowers and putrescent moss, the sent, of life packed close together and competing, for my affection.
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May 5, 2013 10:54
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alcharagia posted:Roy Orbison in clingfilm You are the greatest.
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May 5, 2013 22:01
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Iced Cocoa posted:I think we should have made a list from the beginning of what movie/tv series/franchise Miranda is ripping off at any time. For instance, now it was Harry Potter, Railrunner even hisses the password to open the doors. Then there is Avatar: The Last Airbender and X-Men that I recall at the moment. I'm sure it's unintentional, but when she said air candy I immediately thought of this: http://atelier.wikia.com/wiki/Air_Drop Miranda ripping off a Gust game simultaneously makes no sense and too much sense  Iced Cocoa posted:I'm sure that the deal with the stuffed animals is that once they get thrown out or destroyed they become wild non-sentient animals in Amusement Park Between, perfect for food for the ravenous roller coasters. Credit where it's due, that's actually sorta clever. And why is Railrunner no longer allowed to curse? Why didn't Thunderbark know about the drat book? How are they going to get Static and Merrylegs out from this city? Why is having Ironwheel conquer the real world a bad thing for them? Ugh. gently caress it. Bring in further plot powers. I just hope one of our assholecoasters meets their end soon. Then it's love interest roller coaster time  Wait. Oversexualized love-interest...Crystals...Candy...Gust... Oh god. This is going to be Ar Tonelico with roller coasters
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May 5, 2013 22:13
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SSNeoman posted:Then it's love interest roller coaster time For those who don't know what it is, could you say what it is that's making you sick? Anyway, the list of "things that shouldn't appear in Twisted!" numbers 19, I was hoping for 20-25 before saying how many is coming up and how some are tangentially there and how many absolutely do not appear. Should I go for it now, wait for more items, or just scrap it altogether?
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May 5, 2013 22:22
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20) It turns out that the whole novel is thinly veiled anti-abortion propaganda. See, if Angeltrack had aborted her rape coaster baby- 21) Static comes out as gay. 22) Graphic sex scene. 23) Railrunner and his murder gang form a rock band. 24) Graphic rape scene.
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May 5, 2013 22:55
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25. Railrunner sacrifices his life to save Clare (haha, no he won't, but I'm sure she'll be happy to die for him) 26. Railrunner becomes pregnant with his own spawn; a la Twilight, it's half human, so the other rides try to destroy it 27. Railrunner finds out that he can drink the blood of innocents in order to manipulate the iron in his body and gain the power of flight 28. Clare dumps him and moves on with her life e: renumbered
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May 5, 2013 23:03
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Phummus posted:1. Railrunner uses his iron-bending to create rails out of trace amounts of metal in the environment for himself to run on a-la Ice Man Bobbin Threadbare posted:6. Detective Black rides into coaster world on a ferris wheel to save the day. Dreggon posted:11. Clare becomes Shadowtrack (Please christ loving no) Kjoery posted:16. Railrunner loses. As ironwheel begins his assault on mankind, a new era of global war and turmoil begins. Country after country falls to his mary-sue-like power, until none remain to oppose him. None, that is, except a small band of rebels, led by a certain detective... GrizzlyCow posted:20. Detective Black becomes Shadowtrack attackbunny posted:22. It turns out that the whole novel is thinly veiled anti-abortion propaganda. See, if Angeltrack had aborted her rape coaster baby- hyperhazard posted:27. Railrunner sacrifices his life to save Clare (haha, no he won't, but I'm sure she'll be happy to die for him) Well then, as unsightly it is to put it like this. Also, there were two items that I missed before. But 30 is a nice number. The number of things that won't come up: Nineteen Number of things that will sort of come up: Seven Number of things that will come up: Three And one odd out because it is kind of plausible but I can't remember if it happens nor do I want to look it up.
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May 5, 2013 23:37
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Iced Cocoa posted:For those who don't know what it is, could you say what it is that's making you sick? Ar tonelico is a JRPG series about ladies who sing to do magic. It is objectifying on a whole lot of levels (especially the third one (they strip during combat to power up (god ar tonelico 3 is awful))) a lot of the time. Psychotherapy also plays a significant role. It's also sort of the Donkey Kong Country of weird anime JRPGs in that the second one is the only actually good one and the third game is a monstrosity on every single level, but even Ar Tonelico 3 is a masterwork compared to this stupid book. Their protagonists are about as likable though. Edit: The "crystals" in question refer to a scene in the first game in which the hero must insert a "Diquility crystal" in one of his potential girlfriends' "port" in order to make her not die from being magic. The game makes no effort to hide exactly how thinly veiled the innuendo is. The scene kinda returns in the second game, but there it's way better because the hero of the second game takes the opportunity to  the everloving hell out of his ex.
Kinu Nishimura fucked around with this message at 00:39 on May 6, 2013 |
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May 6, 2013 00:35
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Chapter 24 - Training Trainquote:
Where were Thunderbark, Static and Merrylegs sleeping? Did Railrunner simply disregard their welfare once his own amenities were secured? This is truly one group of callous, amoral sociopaths who deserve each other’s company. quote:
I counted, and this is the 32nd sigh of the book so far. More than 1 sigh per chapter on average. quote:
What could be viewed as playful banter by other characters in other books takes on serious undertones when the speaker has shown himself capable of, and eager, for indiscriminate and deadly violence. Again underlining just how unlikable and despicable a protagonist Railrunner is. quote:
I’m surprised Miranda Leek didn’t give him the power to go for seven or more days without sleep. quote:
What happened to “It was dark and I couldn’t see but three feet in front of my nose” in the last chapter? So Railrunner is capable of seeing well in both well-lit and poorly-lit lighting conditions after all? quote:
Fans of Avatar: The Last Airbender should skip this next section, lest it enrage you into a state of apoplexy. quote:
33rd sigh of the book. quote:
Miranda Leek’s idea of a training arc – Mastering everything at the first try with no struggle or effort required. quote:
Why is Thunderbark so approving of human-roller coaster relationships now? What happened to ““Railrunner, stay away from civilization at night. Wear gloves and long sleeves when you work on the coasters. And forget about love” in Chapter 7? quote:
I find it rather disturbing that such a direct association between love / affection and extreme violence is being made in this book, in view of the domestic abuse subtext present in the earlier scenes between Railrunner and Clare. quote:
34th sigh of the book. quote:
I am reminded that last chapter, “A small flame aroused [sic] from his fist” and I am reluctant to contemplate the nature of the “pleasures” referred to here.  quote:
I really, really, really hate Railrunner. He has no redeeming factors whatsoever. quote:
35th sigh of the book. Also, Railrunner is apparently willing to destroy the temple in order to learn the skill a few moments earlier than he otherwise would have. He truly is one of the most irresponsible, contemptible protagonist in any work of fiction ever. quote:
First Railrunner was aggravated about not learning the “Fire Fury” immediately, and now he’s disappointed that there was more training to be done. quote:
As though Railrunner and anyone in his gang had ever been concerned about collateral damage. If it’s a matter of “Kill the evil”, they should start with themselves. quote:
If Merrylegs starts falling in love with Railrunner, I’m going to scream. quote:
It’s spelled “Shakespeare”! “Shakespeare”! I mean How do you even AARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!  And to have the cheek, the nerve, of comparing Twisted to Shakespeare. There are not enough words in the universe to describe the white-hot fury I feel for this book at this moment. quote:
No one deserves someone as loathsome as Railrunner, not even Clare. JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 11:10 on May 6, 2013 |
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May 6, 2013 08:34
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It's about as understandable as Shakespeare, albeit for an entirely different reason
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May 6, 2013 11:08
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How can this be consistently so terrible? It has to run out of steam sometime, right? Right?
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May 6, 2013 12:30
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horriblePencilist posted:How can this be consistently so terrible? This is kind of the problem I encountered when I read Twisted. The free preview on Amazon still hints at the promise that it will be a beautiful trainwreck all the way through. But then, after getting past a certain upcoming point in the story, the whole thing kind of stalled. I can't really put it in better words. Of course there were new powers and new stupid twists and references and whatnot, but it didn't have the charm of the previous chapters. I think it was the realization that even for Railrunner's continuous gains of new powers and resources, things were still the same. It was no longer wondering just what powers will come up to solve the situation he was in, it was just reading the book for the sake of saying "I read this thing, it's as bad as you think it is." One thing about me, if I manage to read the first ten chapters of a book, by god I will finish reading it no matter how terrible it turned out.
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May 6, 2013 12:44
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Kids these days have no respect.
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May 6, 2013 13:22
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Is anyone gonna get the second edition of Twisted? I'd like to know what the differences are, but I have a hunch it's just mostly going to be new drawings.
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May 6, 2013 16:50
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horriblePencilist posted:Is anyone gonna get the second edition of Twisted? I'd like to know what the differences are, but I have a hunch it's just mostly going to be new drawings. I... I might be  I want to see just what she felt that was not up to par in the book and just what was worth keeping. If she is still going to make it super powerful or if she's going to get rid of the rape subtext (there is more to be had, much more) Though it depends on if Amazon will be willing to ship the second edition instead of trying to get rid of the first one. I might not be able to get it anywhere else but through that.
Iced Cocoa fucked around with this message at 17:10 on May 6, 2013 |
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May 6, 2013 17:07
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Dreggon posted:It's about as understandable as Shakespeare, albeit for an entirely different reason I wouldn't say that. Once you read enough Shakespeare, it becomes easier and starts making sense. There isn't enough Twisted in the world to manage that. JosephWongKS posted:35th sigh of the book. You really ought to let these sighs go for your own sanity, man.
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May 6, 2013 18:12
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JosephWongKS posted:List of Railrunner’s powers Chapter 24 37. Can redirect and amplify lightning instinctively 38. Can aim lightning with high precision 39. Stupidly fast learner (way better than Zuko)
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May 6, 2013 21:14
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Bobbin Threadbare posted:I wouldn't say that. Once you read enough Shakespeare, it becomes easier and starts making sense. There isn't enough Twisted in the world to manage that. It really helps if you read Shakespeare with a handy "ye olde english" to "Modern Day English" footnotes/sidebars. Ironically I love Romeo and Juliet, probably because so much of the story is not about Romeo and Juliet. It's about all the other characters which is what Shakespeare excels at. Shakespeare, if I may, wasn't very good with writing a good plot and he was terrible at foreshadowing. But he was an absolute master at making realistic settings and engaging characters. And of course Miranda's characters are "star-crossed lovers". Of course. Seraphic Neoman fucked around with this message at 21:43 on May 6, 2013 |
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May 6, 2013 21:38
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'Star-crossed lovers' implies that the relationship is destroyed by matters outside of the lovers' control. Two women in Saudi Arabia, doomed by religious fundamentalism. Jack and Rose on the Titanic, doomed by iceberg. Iztaccihuatl and Popocotepetl, doomed by a lying rear end in a top hat dad. Clare and Railrunner? Doomed by Railrunner's relentless slaughtering of innocent people. I'm pretty sure Miranda Leek doesn't even know what the gently caress anymore. Like, she churned out the whole manuscript in one drunk night and she has no idea what happened in the previous chapters. She's simultaneously falling off a cliff and developing amnesia to the extent that she can't remember what the upper portions of the cliff face looked like as she plummeted past them.
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May 6, 2013 23:23
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Chapter 25 - Hidden Secretsquote:
What’s the point of having the training arc if Railrunner just masters everything effortlessly and there’s neither the urgency of an impending deadline or the threat of discovery by hostile forces? And no, Railrunner’s heartache arising out of his “star-crossed romance” doesn’t count. quote:
Where did he get wires from, and why is there a “raft” on the ceiling? quote:
As if “yawning a yawn” was sufficiently redundant, Miranda Leek doubles up on the redundancy by adding in a “sleepy” to the mix. quote:
Where did he get the power supply from? quote:
How “advanced” can their technology be if Thunderbark is so excited by electric lights? quote:
So much for trust among comrades – Railrunner can’t even bring himself to inform Thunderbark of a hidden door. quote:
Cobwebs implies spiders. Why are there spiders in magic roller-coaster land? Do American amusement parks give away stuffed spiders as prizes? quote:
“A place from the most imaginative mind” has exactly the same building materials as “the real world”. quote:
Who actually measures the size of a room by the number of “gymnasiums” they can hold? Are US gymnasiums of such uniformity in size that a reader can be expected to visualize how large is a room of “thirty gymnasiums put together”? quote:
I know we are supposed to share Railrunner’s delight in being a roller-coaster, but he has been so consistently despicable in this book that every moment of joy he experiences makes me hate him even more. I hope the “addiction” to roller-coaster tracks causes him to get destroyed by Ironwheel due to withdrawal syndromes. quote:
36th sigh of the book. quote:
The only “witnesses” would be Thunderbark, Static and Merrylegs, who are nominally his comrades. I hope Railrunner’s apparent distrust of them is reciprocated and that they are actually plotting to backstab him and steal his power for themselves. quote:
How wonderful, that Railrunner should get yet another unearned McGuffin of power. I suppose by the end of the book, Railrunner will have a magic item for each equipment slot. Perhaps Railrunner is Miranda Leek’s D&D character? quote:
I hope Railrunner gets stabbed by the sword in the back when he sleeps on the bed at night. quote:
Dude, she’s running and screaming because you (who, let us not forget, tried to kill her) are chasing her. quote:
37th sigh of the book. quote:
“Your dream means something, but it could very well mean nothing.”  quote:
You are unbearable, you sociopathic murderous Mary Sue monster.
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May 7, 2013 09:55
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Wasn't there a drawing of Moonblood with this chapter? I can't be bothered to dig it up. I recall it because Moonblood has the exact same tattoos as Railrunner. But anyway, I decided to spend time looking for a picture of the sword. Took me a while since there was only one illustration of it and I couldn't remember which one.  This does not look like a practical sword at all. Fun fact: This thing is titled "Forbidden Love" on DA.
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May 7, 2013 10:20
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That's no a fun fact at all Iced Cocoa. Is it weird that it's all of the basic spelling and grammar mistakes that bother me the most about Twisted? It's just, she put this up for sale, and she didn't even have someone proof read it? Or even run it through a word processor's spellchecker? JosephWongKS posted:
She's probably imagining a building for a high school regulation basketball court, which I think a lot of public high schools in the United States refer to as a gymnasium. I have no idea why you'd use that as a standard of measurement though. paragon1 fucked around with this message at 10:52 on May 7, 2013 |
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May 7, 2013 10:50
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quote:I motioned for the door; it was by far the shabbiest; it being made out of rusted steel. I didn’t have to speak my language to open it, but as I did I You didn't have to but you did anyway...?
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May 7, 2013 12:58
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paragon1 posted:She's probably imagining a building for a high school regulation basketball court, which I think a lot of public high schools in the United States refer to as a gymnasium. I have no idea why you'd use that as a standard of measurement though. I think the size of gymnasium is an acceptable standard of measurement when you're still a kid/teenager. A gymnasium is one of the bigger and the consistent things you're going to see. It's nearly double the size of a standard international soccer field which I have to say is kind of impressive. This is not the only time where Miranda will use unconventional measurements to show the sheer size of something. And when I was looking for a picture of the sword, there was on other thing I ran into that I didn't think about until now. That particular illustration was drawn in 2007 according to the description on DA. It's a scene from the book Vertigo. I think I already said that she was about 14 years old when she had the idea of living roller coasters, but I can't confirm that. But this drawing along with the date establishes she had a rough idea of what would happen in the sequel when she was fifteen years old. Illustrations which appear in the book, such as the one of Freakshow the pirate, Railrunner in prison and Thunderbark at the carnival were also drawn in 2007.
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May 7, 2013 13:31
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That's one of Miranda's problems, she prides herself so much on being original that she fails to feel the need for improvement and humility. She thinks she has already hit her peak, and that it doesn't get any better than this. My guess is that Twisted is a Katamari of poo poo, starting out very small at the age of 14, only to pick up more and more awful ideas and inspirations from superior stories without ever cutting anything for the sake of decency so eventually it grows into this cobbled mess of a book.
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May 7, 2013 13:44
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paragon1 posted:Is it weird that it's all of the basic spelling and grammar mistakes that bother me the most about Twisted? It's just, she put this up for sale, and she didn't even have someone proof read it? Or even run it through a word processor's spellchecker? The worst part for me is the godawful illustrations. The perspective is so poorly and schizophrenically done that it seems like she was having a go at portraying Lovecraft's non-Euclidian architecture.
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May 7, 2013 19:24
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The FBI van parked across from Clare's home was painted with the same logo as the city's public utility company so as to appear as inconspicuous as possible. The agents inside were consummate professionals; you had to have the patience of a saint to draw stakeout duty, and everyone was focused fully on their jobs after the disaster at Mystic Park. However, not more than a few minutes after setting up their equipment, the agents were startled by a broadcast on the encrypted police channel: "Agents Paterson and Mendez, be aware that Rodney Philips is moving to your position." After acknowledging the message, the two federal agents hurriedly split their time between calibrating their equipment and setting everything to record. Just as Mendez was bringing the infrared camera online, a black Mustang GT turned into the target's driveway and the prime suspect of the current investigation stepped out. "Suspect is in sight," Paterson dutifully informed the radio. As Mendez watched the feeds, the powder blue compact that was following the suspect's car slowed slightly as it passed the van so the plainclothes officer behind the wheel could give it a significant look, all but shouting, "Don't gently caress this one up." The agent couldn't help but nod slightly, even though she knew the cop could never see her. "Your orders at this time are still to observe, record, and report," Special Agent Captain's voice crackled over the scanner. "You are not cleared to move in regardless of what happens." "Understood," Paterson responded before moving over to the listening equipment. Seeing that Rodney had reached the front door, he toggled on the audio feed. "--Are? It's me, Rodney. I want to talk to you. Come on, Clare, I know you're home. Could you please answer?" After a moderate wait and several more knocks, the door finally opened and Clare let her boyfriend inside. Mendez switched the large monitors to the cameras zoomed in on the main window and front door's side windows while silently thanking the mild weather for convincing Clare to leave her windows open. As Rodney bent down to untie his shoes, Mendez noted a suspicious glint near Clare's midsection. When the suspect straightened, she noticed him stagger back, looking puzzled at his own torso before dropping to the ground. "I think she just stabbed him," Mendez said, hardly believing her eyes. "Good," Paterson muttered, moving back to the radio. "Agent Paterson reporting. We believe Clare Miller has just stabbed Rodney Philips. Repeat, Clare has stabbed Rodney. Permission to intervene?" After a long pause, Agent Captain responded: "Negative. Negative. Continue observation." "Jim, Jim! He's getting up!" Mendez called from the monitors. Dropping the receiver, Paterson hurried over and watched in shock as Rodney pulled the knife from his chest and stood back up, acting nothing like how a man with a life-threatening injury should. "I'm--I'm so sorry," the agents heard Clare apologize through the open window. "That's alright, I've been through worse," Rodney replied. "Like...like last night?" "Yeah, like last night. Listen, I've come to explain myself, to explain what happened to me. So unless you have any more knives you'd like to try?" The agents couldn't see Clare's response, but the two moved into the living room and sat across from each other, both clearly visible to the van parked across the street. Both agents gasped as Rodney stepped into view, a massive blood stain sticking most of the front of his shirt to his skin. Mendez couldn't help but notice that Clare's eyes never strayed from Rodney's missing wound as he began his explanation. "I'm not human, Clare. I never was. I was born in another world, the Park Beyond, as a roller coaster train. All amusement rides are living creatures there." "The horse said something like that..." Clare said, still paying only half attention. "Her name is Merrylegs, Clare, and she's a carousel horse. She's part of a group who found me when I came to Mystic Park for the first time. Rides can all take human form when they have to, but I've been stuck in mine until a few days ago when they activated me. My real name is Railrunner. I've been a roller coaster train this whole time, Clare! It's--it's who I was always meant to be!" "Then why did you try to kill me?" Clare asked, her eyes snapping up to meet his. "If that man hadn't jumped in the way..." "I didn't mean to," Rodney apologized, reaching out to take Clare's hand in his. "I--Thunderbark told me that I wouldn't have control over myself at first, but it'll get better soon, I promise. I'll be myself forever then!" "But who will you be? Rodney? Or Railrunner?" "I was always Railrunner, Clare. I just hadn't known it yet." Clare stood up. "Well, I never fell in love with 'Railrunner.' 'Railrunner' murdered five people last night, and would have murdered six if that man and your 'friend' Merrylegs hadn't gotten in your way. I think 'Railrunner' should get out of my house. Right now." Rodney sputtered and pleaded, but Clare refused to move beyond pointing at the door. Finally, Rodney gave up, gathered his shoes without putting them on, and slammed the front door behind him. Mendez couldn't help but smile and had to work to resist the urge to clap. "Why me?!" Rodney shouted at the sky. Inside, Clare sat back down and began to weep. "What a loving dork," Paterson muttered as he watched Rodney pull away. Professionalism could only extend so far.
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May 7, 2013 21:28
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Bobbin continues to improve the story by leaps and bounds. I love how the characters react to Rodney scream the same way the audience does. Make sure that you label your characters as "OC DO NOT STEAL" As for the sword, *sigh* (GODDAMNIT MIRANDA! ) I mean of course it's a loving sword. It makes no sense, but of course it's a sword. Heroes use swords after all. Nevermind that the coasters come equipped with razor sharp claws. This is clearly a speshul sword that he will carry in his awsum trenchcoat.
Seraphic Neoman fucked around with this message at 22:21 on May 7, 2013 |
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May 7, 2013 21:39
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Bobbin, thanks for making the story of Twisted tolerable and actually fun to read. Well, I was wrong about that "14 years old" thing. Perhaps once calculated her age wrong with some of the conflicting info about when she began to write. http://railrunnermiranda.deviantart.com/art/Angeltrack-Anatomy-Study-2-260329189 quote:It all started back in 2008 when I was writing my novel Twisted (its now published) As you know by reading that or by looking through my gallery, that the Rides in Amusement Park Between are created by being put into storage or destroyed in the real world only to life their "afterlife" in Between as living versions. The main character, Railrunner is a red roller coaster, the only ride that is created differently. Of course, I had to figure out how differently. It had to be special. Also, third novel confirmed: http://railrunnermiranda.deviantart.com/art/Q-and-A-s-370258518 quote:Q:Is there going to be another book on Twisted? (asked by biocoal) And Joseph, stop killing yourself over those sighs. I'm going to spoil it for everyone now. 
Iced Cocoa fucked around with this message at 22:48 on May 7, 2013 |
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May 7, 2013 22:44
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horriblePencilist posted:That's one of Miranda's problems, she prides herself so much on being original that she fails to feel the need for improvement and humility. She thinks she has already hit her peak, and that it doesn't get any better than this. My guess is that Twisted is a Katamari of poo poo, starting out very small at the age of 14, only to pick up more and more awful ideas and inspirations from superior stories without ever cutting anything for the sake of decency so eventually it grows into this cobbled mess of a book. This aspect of Twisted kind of reminds me of the Eragon series (also written by a teenager, also basically a messy amalgamation of everything that teenager thought was cool - as a teenager...) except the kid who wrote that at least had the sense to let his mom read it first.
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May 7, 2013 23:03
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Bobbin Threadbare posted:Further greatness. As always, thanks for these. In particular, I must thank you for diverging from the source material where appropriate; it gives the book new li--hahaha. No, really, what you did is the best way to trash this trash story, and replace it with a far better version. Feeling vaguely inspired again, I might put together another in-story side character short story in a bit.
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May 7, 2013 23:27
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Iced Cocoa posted:
Are there any famous (or infamous) authors whose characters sigh as much as Miranda Leek's characters do, like the way the Wheel of Time characters keep tugging their skirts and smoothing their braids?
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May 8, 2013 02:16
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Chapter 26 - Duel and Decisionquote:
How stupid and/or sheltered is Railrunner, that the very notion of sparring as part of a training regimen is foreign and incomprehensible to him? quote:
Miranda Leek is probably unaware of full contact karate. Admittedly, full contact karate also doesn’t permit use of “bending”, claws or teeth, so perhaps that is what she’s referring to. quote:
As far as I’m aware, a sumo wrestler does not actually move “back and forth” during a match, but charges straight at his opponent right after the match begins and attempts to force his opponent out of the ring or throw his opponent to the ground. Perhaps Miranda Leek had in mind boxing, judo, karate, taekwondo, MMA or any other martial arts match where the pugilists may maneuver for better positioning at the start and during the course of the match. If she was picking the name of a martial art at random, she picked the single inapplicable one out of dozens available to her. quote:
And how inexperienced or craven is Thunderbark, if he is “astonished” by a mere “threatening snarl”? quote:
Actually, why are they even practicing hand-to-hand combat if they can strike at range and with more power using bending? Human soldiers and police officers learn and practise unarmed combat moves because they might be disarmed or run out of ammunition during an actual fight, but roller-coasters’ bending is an innate ability. Furthermore, as Moonhoof confirmed, Railrunner can perform unlimited “concussion beams” in Amusement Park Between, so why is Thunderbark wasting time on dueling without bending? quote:
A Google search for “jyronatropy” discloses only three results, all excerpts from Twisted itself. A Google search for “jyrona” discloses a number of people named “jyrona”. How did Miranda Leek even come up with this word? quote:
They seem pretty nonchalant about the fact that Railrunner could go into uncontrollable murder-frenzies. Then again, if they’re already used to Railrunner’s controlled murder-frenzies, it’s probably not much of a difference. Also, if Thunderbark knew that Railrunner could break out into sudden murder-frenzies, why did he allow Railrunner to go roaming around by himself in Trenzon? quote:
38th sigh of the book. quote:
Isn’t that something that Thunderbark should already have mentioned before the duel if not earlier? quote:
If Railrunner poses danger to others due to factors over which he has no control, he should be restrained until such time as the danger passes, not left to freely roam around. quote:
39th sigh of the book. quote:
Again, in view of the domestic abuse subtext of the Railrunner-Clare relationship, the fact that Static and Merrylegs are so eager to exonerate Railrunner’s violent tendencies takes on new and troubling implications. quote:
The message of “I’m violent because I can’t have you”, and the author-inserts’ approval of this, couldn’t be clearer or more disturbing.
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May 8, 2013 06:26
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quote:“What’s that?” I said with my memory returning. What an oddly specific way to get around having the protagonist get his rear end beaten in a fair fight.
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May 8, 2013 06:50
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I can't wait until he shows the sword to the others and they immediately gasp and identify as some kind of legendary magical sword that grants him further unnecessary superpowers. I hope it has a name something like...the Railbliterator. Sindai fucked around with this message at 07:31 on May 8, 2013 |
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May 8, 2013 07:28
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Sindai posted:I can't wait until he shows the sword to the others and they immediately gasp and identify as some kind of legendary magical sword that grants him further unnecessary superpowers. I'm going to go with some variation of "Blade/Sword of the Red", the "Red Blade", or something butchered with a thesaurus.
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May 8, 2013 08:26
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quote:“I can’t. I forgot to tell you, a roller coaster can be harmed or killed by another coaster.” quote:Rodney walked through the doorway, shut the door, and stopped to take off his shoes. Suddenly Clare pulled out the knife and brought it down towards his chest. Rodney had no time to react, the knife went into him and Clare stumbled backward gasping in fear. Rodney sat on the floor breathing harshly. He tugged at the knife sticking out of his chest; he pulled it free and lay it aside. Blood seeped through his shirt; he unbuttoned it and reveled [sic] the nasty wound. Chances that Clare turns out to be Shadowtrack, the strong independant roller-coaster woman who isn't anything without her man?  EDIT: People were spoiling mentions of Shadowtrack earlier, and I don't want to ruin anyone's enjoyment of Twisted. Madoushi fucked around with this message at 09:05 on May 8, 2013 |
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May 8, 2013 08:56
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 14:32 |
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Madoushi posted:Chances that Clare turns out to be Shadowtrack, the strong independant roller-coaster woman who isn't anything without her man? The "forbidden love" image suggests otherwise. I think that Merryleg will end up being a lover of Railrunner (as well as Clare, of course) and is a strong contender of the above spoiler's subject.
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May 8, 2013 10:21
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