Funny Pictures XIII: The chain mails of tomorrow, today!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Funny Pictures XIII: The chain mails of tomorrow, today!

«‹›467 »

Is Not Meat: Dec 26, 2010

grumplestiltzkin posted:

As someone who has lived 20+ years in Florida, I will confirm that seagulls are goddamn thieving little shits. It's hilarious to watch idiotic tourists get mobbed by them though.

As someone who's never been to Florida, if a seagull ever swooped down to steal food from my hand, I would feel no moral shame in grabbing a wing, pulling it to the ground, and breaking it's stupid neck.

I am from Oregon and we do have seagulls. For some reason they don't seem to be as bad as what you east-coasters experience, but they are still annoying little buttholes. If their population was reduced by half, I don't think the world or anyone in it would suffer, and I would be a happy man.

Content:

Somebody has a new favorite as of 14:27 on May 16, 2013

# ? May 14, 2013 05:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 21:03

Vicissitude: Jan 26, 2004; You ever do the chicken dance at a wake? That really bothers people.

Yeah, geese can do massive damage to even our most beautiful men.

# ? May 14, 2013 05:05

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

Is there a difference between American and European seagulls? Because I've been pretty familiar with seagulls all my life and if anything they still flap away wildly if a human so much as approaches them.

# ? May 14, 2013 07:49

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Watched a seagull and a pigeon fight over a fragment of pizza on the Atlantic City boardwalk in 2003, never been the same since.

# ? May 14, 2013 07:54

stubblyhead: Sep 13, 2007; That is treason, Johnny!; Fun Shoe

I dunno, I grew up in Florida too, and in my experience gulls were basically just enormous pigeons--congregate around people and garbage receptacles (i.e. easy food), but I can't recall any being outright aggressive.

# ? May 14, 2013 08:13

QuasiQuack: Jun 13, 2010; Ducks hockey baybee

Seagulls near my mom's workplace divebomb dogs. Their assholeishness isn't even driven by hunger, they're just pure assholes.

# ? May 14, 2013 09:37

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

the jizz taxi posted:

Is there a difference between American and European seagulls? Because I've been pretty familiar with seagulls all my life and if anything they still flap away wildly if a human so much as approaches them.

"Seagull" can refer to any of a buttload of species in family Laridae.

# ? May 14, 2013 09:37

KozmoNaut: Apr 23, 2008; Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle

United Steaks of America.

# ? May 14, 2013 09:39

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

It's even geologically accurate, with the eastern portion being one large stable piece, and the western part being, as my structural geology professor called it, "a hot mess".

# ? May 14, 2013 10:31

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

the jizz taxi posted:

Is there a difference between American and European seagulls? Because I've been pretty familiar with seagulls all my life and if anything they still flap away wildly if a human so much as approaches them.

It's like comparing regular pigeons to Paris pigeons.

Also Seagulls are cool when they attack ~~celebrities~~ Chris Brown.

# ? May 14, 2013 10:34

ymgve: Jan 2, 2004; Offensive Clock

drat, did they pull down his shorts too?

# ? May 14, 2013 10:40

DarkCrawler: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

the jizz taxi posted:

Is there a difference between American and European seagulls? Because I've been pretty familiar with seagulls all my life and if anything they still flap away wildly if a human so much as approaches them.

You don't have these cunts in America. They grow them big, hard and thievin' here. If you'd pit a Helsinki born and raised seagull against a Canadian goose I'm not sure who'd come out on top but whoever would be left would see bleeding nightmares for the rest of their lives.

quote:

Once familiar with humans, urban European Herring Gulls show little hesitation in swooping down to steal food from the hands of humans. During the breeding season, the gulls will also aggressively 'dive bomb' and attempt to strike with claws and wings (sometimes spraying faeces or vomit at the same time) at humans that they perceive to be a threat to their eggs and chicks � often innocent passers-by or residents of the buildings on which they have constructed their nests. Large amounts of gull excrement deposited on property and the noise from courting pairs and begging chicks in the summer months is also considered to be a nuisance by humans living alongside the European Herring Gull.

Non-lethal attempts to deter the gulls from nesting in urban areas have been largely unsuccessful. The European Herring Gull is intelligent and will completely ignore most 'bird scaring' technology after determining that it poses no threat. Rooftop spikes, tensioned wires, netting and similar are also generally ineffective against this species, as it has large, wide feet with thick, leathery skin which affords the seagull excellent weight distribution and protection from sharp objects (the bird may simply balance itself on top of these obstacles with little apparent concern). If nests are removed and eggs are taken, broken, or oiled, the gulls will simply rebuild and/or re-lay, or choose another nest site in the same area and start again.

Attempts to scare the gulls away using raptors are similarly ineffective. Although they are intimidated by birds of prey, European Herring Gulls, in addition to being social birds with strength in numbers, are large, powerful and aggressive as individuals and are more than capable of fighting back against the potential predator, particularly if they consider their chicks to be at risk - in fact the gulls may actually pose a greater threat to a raptor than vice-versa. European Herring Gulls are also naturally accustomed to predators (such as Skuas and Great Black-backed Gulls) living in the vicinity of their nest sites in the 'wild' and are not particularly discouraged from breeding by their presence.

image caption text posted:

Perching on spikes designed to discourage perching birds

I guess U.S. has their pussy cousins or something, probably descended from the individuals who were too weak to hang with the European ones:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Herring_Gull

DarkCrawler has a new favorite as of 12:35 on May 14, 2013

# ? May 14, 2013 12:23

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

Eh, I am European, but probably Finland and some parts of America have different gulls than the North Sea does!

# ? May 14, 2013 13:25

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

ymgve posted:

drat, did they pull down his shorts too?

Yes, domestic seagulls have a naturally evolved instinct to pull down Chris Brown's pants.

Palpek has a new favorite as of 13:39 on May 14, 2013

# ? May 14, 2013 13:35

Ignimbrite: Jan 5, 2010; BALLS BALLS BALLS; Dinosaur Gum

This wolf.

This loving wolf. I am insensate with giggling at this goddamn wolf.

# ? May 14, 2013 13:35

Sef!: Oct 31, 2012

Vicissitude posted:

Yeah, geese can do massive damage to even our most beautiful men.

I've seen this photo dozens of times since it happened, and I never before noticed the Fabio juice on the faces of the women seated behind him.

Yechh.

# ? May 14, 2013 13:49

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

Ignimbrite posted:

This wolf.

This loving wolf. I am insensate with giggling at this goddamn wolf.

# ? May 14, 2013 13:55

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

# ? May 14, 2013 13:59

DONT TOUCH THE PC: Jul 15, 2001; You should try it, it's a real buzz.

the jizz taxi posted:

Is there a difference between American and European seagulls? Because I've been pretty familiar with seagulls all my life and if anything they still flap away wildly if a human so much as approaches them.

as usual, belgian seagulls are more polite than their dutch counterparts. Dutch seagulls will scream bloody murder at you if you approach them and when you add some of the rear end in a top hat ducks that we've got around here in the mix it's a goddamn battlefield for your breadcrumbs.

# ? May 14, 2013 14:17

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Palpek posted:

It's like comparing regular pigeons to Paris pigeons.

Also Seagulls are cool when they attack ~~celebrities~~ Chris Brown.

Never have I laughed so hard at an unrepentant rear end in a top hat being soundly antagonized by his own kind (and even they attempt to expel him). Thank you, I needed the schaudenfreude.

# ? May 14, 2013 14:27

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

DreamingApe posted:

as usual, belgian seagulls are more polite than their dutch counterparts. Dutch seagulls will scream bloody murder at you if you approach them and when you add some of the rear end in a top hat ducks that we've got around here in the mix it's a goddamn battlefield for your breadcrumbs.

That is all true, but on the other hand, Belgian seagulls are more pleasant to listen to and eat better food.

# ? May 14, 2013 15:00

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

the jizz taxi posted:

That is all true, but on the other hand, Belgian seagulls are more pleasant to listen to and eat better food.

This one is obviously a Canadian seagull:

# ? May 14, 2013 15:04

Dexter Stratton: May 25, 2007

Palpek posted:

Woman's natural response to being near Chris Brown

# ? May 14, 2013 16:37

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

# ? May 14, 2013 17:43

Gin and Juche: Apr 3, 2008; The Highest Judge of Paradise
Shiki Eiki
YAMAXANADU

Jerry Cotton posted:

This one is obviously a Canadian seagull:

Ah jeez it's half in the bag.

# ? May 14, 2013 18:25

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Gravel Gravy posted:

Ah jeez it's half in the bag.

OK so it's half-Canadian.

# ? May 14, 2013 18:29

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Gravel Gravy posted:

Ah jeez it's half in the bag.

What's with Canadians and putting all their stuff in bags, anyways?

# ? May 14, 2013 18:46

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

Serendipitous FB photo view!

# ? May 14, 2013 18:54

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

Vicissitude posted:

Yeah, geese can do massive damage to even our most beautiful men.

I remember this day well. :ohdear:

A national tragedy.

# ? May 14, 2013 18:58

HBomb: Sep 26, 2004; All aboard.

stubblyhead posted:

I dunno, I grew up in Florida too, and in my experience gulls were basically just enormous pigeons--congregate around people and garbage receptacles (i.e. easy food), but I can't recall any being outright aggressive.