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BoyG
Nov 24, 2004

Have you heard the tale of the Cannibal King of Kavodel?
We grew up in a society that strongly values hair length (especially seeing as how our dad reacted to it being cut in the first place). I can only assume that for the last 11 years it has been drilled into us about the importance of long hair in the worship of Asherah, so it wouldn't be in our nature to just happily go along with it being cut (look at Amish hair cutting or shaving your beard in Islam).

I realise it's the only realistic option for us to develop Og further, but it seems out of character that he would so willingly go along with this. He's not going to be thinking of the long term implications of his choice like we are.

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Half-wit
Aug 31, 2005

Half a wit more than baby Asahel, or half a wit less? You decide.
B Honestly, if we couldn't have been defiant in the words we just spoke to him; we're not going to change track now.

Might as well thank the King for a haircut...our hair never looked right anyways since we got the scar.

Rahul
Dec 10, 2004

BoyG posted:

We grew up in a society that strongly values hair length (especially seeing as how our dad reacted to it being cut in the first place). I can only assume that for the last 11 years it has been drilled into us about the importance of long hair in the worship of Asherah, so it wouldn't be in our nature to just happily go along with it being cut (look at Amish hair cutting or shaving your beard in Islam).

I realise it's the only realistic option for us to develop Og further, but it seems out of character that he would so willingly go along with this. He's not going to be thinking of the long term implications of his choice like we are.


I don't know. Our only frame of reference on the matter is our father, who was kind of a psycho and who we had a troubled relationship with to say the least. By all accounts, the other villagers seem quite gentle and peaceful, and I've gotten the impression that they followed him and Asherah more or of fear than devotion. Right now our beliefs and emotions are such a jumbled mess that really I think any response at all could be believable.

In terms of what is smart though, keeping our head down and going with the flow is the only option that makes sense. Any other course of action is likely to have negative consequences and unlikely to have any positive effects.
I know some people feel like we're abandoning all our traditions too easily, but I don't think that's the case. It's just that this probably isn't the best time to raise those issues.

Seeing as we picked up Chekov's shark tooth, I doubt we've seen the last of Asherah. I also think that keeping our hair cuttings might be a good idea too.

Rahul fucked around with this message at 10:39 on May 30, 2013

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
I still say we should rename ourselves Beaky.

Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.
I told you guys we were going to need to maximize our ability to evoke white guilt.

Also, we are a child of both worlds. I vote D, we take the name of these new people, but keep our hair.

Jenner fucked around with this message at 11:16 on May 30, 2013

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

Whatever, "keep our name and hair" was, E I think? Today we've seen our father killed, we've been told our whole life is lies, that our God is not a God; despite the voices and the lightning and the dolphins, that our mother is not our mother and that we'll never see our family again, we may never even see the sea again. Instead we're going to run away and live with a woman who tried to ostracize us from the village at the age of 4 and whom we've barely spoken to in the last year.

We're 11, we need to control something in our lives, even if it's just what people call us and how long we have our hair.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.
I vote F re: keeping Asherah in our hearts and telling Jalitha not to call us sweetling.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Volmarias posted:

Can we get the OP updated with this album if this is going to be the preferred way of voting? Right now, it has

There is no preferred way to vote. If you want to use the icons, by all means, go for it, but it is not mandatory.


The Bad Llama posted:

"Why did you bring the basket of Pearls with you? I gave you lots of those! Did you bring them with us?"

"I was not sure who was coming, Sweetling. People from the cities like pearls, I thought we might need to trade them to be rescued."



Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

Option B, after you thank him for the honour tell him that you want your new name to be Og.

Mother, why was cutting my hair such a big deal back in the village? Why did you cut my hair then? Who did the villagers cannibalize?

She gives you a hug and shakes her head. "Does it matter, Sweetling?"



A Darker Porpoise posted:

If Tudiya refuses to let us keep our name straight up, ask if he'll work it into our new name like Ogarth or something appropriate to the culture. If not I guess we can always be Og in our head.

Also I'm for asking all the hard hitting questions of Jalitha, I want to know why she painted a target on us.

"I fell in the river and almost drowned, I woke up on the beach near the village."

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Diogines posted:

She gives you a hug and shakes her head. "Does it matter, Sweetling?"

Yes, Mother. My world has been turned upside down in a day, and it feels like my whole life was a lie. I would like to know what was truthful about it.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

"They ate the sick" your mother says with a pained expression on her face "They ate the old. They ate the unlucky and little boys who left the village when they did not eat anyone else recently. When... when... too many girls were born, they ate little babies. They ate the people they carried out of the village to bury... they... they ate everyone." She places her hands over her face and begins to cry. You have made your mother cry.

Minivote: Do you...

Option 1 Hug her and say something comforting

Option 2 Any other response(specify)


You have no frame of reference to know how old people are supposed to get, nor could you count to sixty, but you have never seen a person older than their late 50s in the village. You have never seen the burials occur, when the men carry the dead out of the village for burial. Those who are sick tend to either heal quickly, or, perish quickly, a prolonged time for recovery is unheard of. No one in the village is missing fingers or limbs or ears or has any other sort of disfiguring injuries.

But you are eleven and have lived here all your life.

That is how it is everywhere.

Right?

Diogines fucked around with this message at 13:31 on May 30, 2013

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Well, poo poo. Option 1.

UppaTree
May 4, 2013

Slaan posted:

Aye, lets go for:

We thank the king and let him change our name/cut our hair. But we hold Asherah in our heart where the king cannot see him.

Also voting to insist Jalitha to stop calling us sweetling, x1000.

Also going to second Glorious Demon's Save the Hair

All of this, but I say Jalitha can call us what she likes.

Maybe she insists on calling us that because we haven't been named, and using our old heathen tribal name would be blasphemy. It's a thought.

Between these two haircuts, though, we're going to look extremely strange when we come back, with our relic, and claim to be the lost High Priest of Asherah. Of course, we can fix that by gutting and eating anyone who chalenges our birthright, because we'll have metal weapons and armor.

UppaTree fucked around with this message at 13:15 on May 30, 2013

Algid
Oct 10, 2007


Give her a hug.

Eating corpses is only unsanitary, but the eugenics is pretty :stare:

As for the main vote, I never had the impression that belief in Asherah or El actually corresponded to worship of either. Yeah, they're real, that doesn't mean I really see any reason Og would be attached to long hair or whatever. We're already an outcast and the only person who really cared about that stuff was our dad, and we didn't even like him.

A

Half-wit
Aug 31, 2005

Half a wit more than baby Asahel, or half a wit less? You decide.
Give her a hug You heartless voices.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003
Option 1 Hug her and say something comforting

Paradox Personified
Mar 15, 2010

:sun: SoroScrew :sun:
My votes are Option #01, and A.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
Mum's having a flashback. Get her a gin and tonic.

1

ConfusedPig
Mar 27, 2013


Hug her.

UppaTree
May 4, 2013

Algid posted:

Give her a hug.

Eating corpses is only unsanitary, but the eugenics is pretty :stare:

Yeah, give mommy a hug.

But I don't think it was (intentional) eugenics. Our people don't farm, don't keep animals, and apparently never caught on to the idea that this kid, who looks frankly nothing like the high priest, might not be his son. They ate the unlucky along with the sick and old, so they were probably just eating people "less favored by Asherah". I mean, if Fishgod truly favored you, you wouldn't be sick all the time!

Considering that Asherah's known to dring down the hammer on everyone you care about if he's even slightly miffed, removing people that he disfavors is a logical idea. And if it accidentally creates stronger sons, then obviously Asherah approves, right?

UppaTree fucked around with this message at 13:39 on May 30, 2013

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

2: Stay silent and consider what you just heard.

Algid
Oct 10, 2007


This really is getting biblical though, what with the prohibition against eating long pig.

Kira Akashiya
Feb 2, 2013
Option 1 Hug her

Tudhalias
Sep 7, 2009
1 "We don't live there anymore."

Also, a question for ourselves: Is there any angel in the stories we particularly identified with, as a patron or role model? Same for Asherah's children.

EVG
Dec 17, 2005

If I Saw It, Here's How It Happened.
Option 1: hug her and apologize "I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't think before I asked- I didn't mean to upset you. We are safe now and no one will get eaten. Right?"

Also, A for the previous question. Let him cut our hair and rename us... But still withhold judgement, we are still really unsure about everything deep down. No grovelling.

Eryxias
Feb 17, 2011

Stay low.
Option 1 of course

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

maxhush posted:

Question for our brain;

Did any of our 'Dads' stories involve Asherah reaching out, either personally or by proxy, to smite 'Demons' or transgressors?
Not smiting demons, no. He is not a god to help you, but to punish you if you disobey. Either the fish will go away and you will starve, or be hit by a storm. It is well known that Asherah will punish your village if you disobey.

Tudhalias posted:

1 "We don't live there anymore."

Also, a question for ourselves: Is there any angel in the stories we particularly identified with, as a patron or role model? Same for Asherah's children.
Laberas the land giant features prominently in your mother's stories, as well as the sky giants Smattas and Maranal, among others. It is up to you to decide if you favored any giants over any others, or any fish god's over any others, Ninveh was Jorah's favorite.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 14:29 on May 30, 2013

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
1. All the time.

When we're grown up and treading the jeweled thrones of Earth under our sandaled feet, we'll have to make her a queen. She's been through so much; she deserves it. :unsmith:

Callipygian Weasel
Apr 2, 2010

by Lowtax
:stare: That is a LOT more cannibalism than I was expecting.

...and obviously we favored Ninveh.

Hug her.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
Voting for hugs. Always vote for hugs.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose

Callipygian Weasel posted:

:stare: That is a LOT more cannibalism than I was expecting.

Too much cannabalism for my taste.

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I vote we accept our hair cut with honour. However, make it clear that there are only 3 acceptable hairstyles for men. Buzz cut, crew cut, high and tight.

I vote high and tight

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Say: "Not everyone... They did not eat everyone." Look her in the eye if possible.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Too much cannabalism for my taste.

Not enough for mine.

Hug her and then bite off an ear

Mexican Deathgasm
Aug 17, 2010

Ramrod XTreme
1, I'm glad we got out of Cannibaland. We need to swear vengeance on Asherah, he's the one that is basically holding people hostage and making them into cannibals. We need to get some kit that's blessed by El and go turn Asherah into sushi.

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

2. Look her in the eyes and ask if she saw this with her own eyes. I'd like to know how she came by the knowledge.

I don't think she's necessarily outright lying, but I think she may have misinterpreted some things. FWIW I don't particularly care if we are cannibals. Eating powerful warriors etc to consume their strength really isn't that unusual, even if the weirdly high level of cannibalisim Jalitha is describing is (which is part of why I'm still slightly skeptical. I think there may be a wee bit of exaggeration going on here. poo poo, we'd have like a population of zero eating people left and right like that.)

That and because cannibalisim is just such a classic justification for demonizing tribal peoples, I can't help but raise an eyebrow and want as much confirmation as possible before taking this as cannon.

FoxTerrier fucked around with this message at 15:09 on May 30, 2013

BHB
Aug 28, 2011
Gonna vote for the haircut. Really we should be happy this JHWH is only making us cut our hair.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

FoxTerrier posted:

2. Look her in the eyes and ask if she saw this with her own eyes. I'd like to know how she came by the knowledge.

I don't think she's necessarily outright lying, but I think she may have misinterpreted some things. FWIW I don't particularly care if we are cannibals. Eating powerful warriors etc to consume their strength really isn't that unusual, even if the weirdly high level of cannibalisim Jalitha is describing is (which is part of why I'm still slightly skeptical. I think there may be a wee bit of exaggeration going on here. poo poo, we'd have like a population of zero eating people left and right like that.)

That and because cannibalisim is just such a classic justification for demonizing tribal peoples, I can't help but raise an eyebrow and want as much confirmation as possible before taking this as cannon.

Yeh, I think ritual sacrifice and blood communion, etc. are more likely... You look at the Mayans. When times got tough, more human sacrifice... Except for one little city that decided water storage might be a better way to deal with drought... The crazy bastards. And Jalitha is not used to it, so it could well seem like we just ate everyone. It seems that in ten years, unless it was really pretty highly ritualistic we would have noticed. It happens someplace sacred. it is unlikely Jolitha has ever been there. Pretty sure it is mostly blood sacrifice... Whatever, it freaked Jolitha... Though she didn't get eaten...

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.

FoxTerrier posted:

We thank the king and let him change our name/cut our hair. But we hold Asherah in our heart where the king cannot see him.

I'm voting for this.

Ego Trip
Aug 28, 2012

A tenacious little mouse!


Wow, that is a lot of eating people.

Option 1

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Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS
Grimey Drawer

Vote count updated; hug vote stuff added. Don't stop voting for the haircutting options just because the minivote is up!

Canuck-Errant fucked around with this message at 16:44 on May 30, 2013

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