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Black: Paranomal Detective Book V: The Deadly Ride By Bobbin Threadbare MOBI, ePub and PDF located here drat this took a while, CSS was not co-operating in places and it's hard to make the book look consistent between the different kindle versions. I am unable to test the ePub format since I've not really installed any ePub reader or ebook emulators that read ePub. If anyone makes a cover I'll add that to the file. If the ePub is broken, I can upload the raw html files for anyone who knows more than me on how to make ePub files.
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May 26, 2013 18:17
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I'm telling you this place has a Jerk-Hierarchy. Rozrail was a bit of a jerk, but he was not a major rear end in a top hat, so everyone hated him. Just like Ironwheel. Ironwheel is kind of a nice guy in person, and he has everyone's best interest in heart. Thus, he is on the bottom of the Jerk-Hierarchy, so the rides resent his rule. You need to be a Grade A irredeemable piece of poo poo to have the respect and admiration of Amusement Park Between. Also, JosephWongKS, Leek's use of the word situated is correct.
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May 26, 2013 19:21
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GrizzlyCow posted:I'm telling you this place has a Jerk-Hierarchy. Rozrail was a bit of a jerk, but he was not a major rear end in a top hat, so everyone hated him. Just like Ironwheel. Ironwheel is kind of a nice guy in person, and he has everyone's best interest in heart. Thus, he is on the bottom of the Jerk-Hierarchy, so the rides resent his rule. You need to be a Grade A irredeemable piece of poo poo to have the respect and admiration of Amusement Park Between. It's technically correct but it just comes across as clunky. "He then walked back to the tower and got situated" seems less of an issue because it reads less like "he walked to the tower and then he placed himself at the tower" and more like "he walked to the tower and settled in to watch the fight". If I were to describe it from the first person, I would probably say I'm getting myself situated rather than situating myself. As a layman it flows better in my mind.
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May 26, 2013 22:48
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Geokinesis posted:Can you turn concussion beams to ash? Good question. Maybe concussion beams are literal "beams" of wood.
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May 26, 2013 23:59
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JosephWongKS posted:Good question. Maybe concussion beams are literal "beams" of wood. The solution to logging -- a technology more advanced than any human's.
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May 27, 2013 03:52
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Iced Cocoa posted:The Deadly Ride I tried my hand at a cover.  Iced Cocoa posted:Is that a toilet plunger? It's the base of my desk lamp. I didn't realize it looked like a plunger while I was painting it but now that you mention it it really does look like a plunger. Antlerhill fucked around with this message at 15:23 on May 27, 2013 |
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May 27, 2013 06:44
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Antlerhill posted:I tried my hand at a cover. Is that a toilet plunger? Iced Cocoa fucked around with this message at 20:32 on May 27, 2013 |
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May 27, 2013 10:26
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Richard Black awoke slowly, gradually growing aware of himself and then of his senses. His memories filtered in first, back to front: he was Detective Black, Paranatural Department, worked for the police for nearly twenty years, married to Marsha Black for nearly fifteen, had a daughter named Sarah who was working her way through the first stages of adolescence. Tried for a son for years, but eventually gave up. Black flinched as he remembered his last case. Railrunner, formerly Rodney Philips, had awakened to his true nature, a roller coaster train (of all things) and lost his sense of humanity in what Black considered record time, going on one rampage after another. Dozens died and well over a hundred were injured before Black and his FBI partner, Victor Captain, pieced together Railrunner's strengths and weaknesses: roller coaster trains were fast, strong, quiet when they had to be, regenerated quickly, and they could manipulate objects the same color as their paint job if given a focus; however, they were vulnerable to objects of foreign manufacture, and while they felt joy when they sensed fear, they felt fear when they sensed joy. In the end, the knowledge had been too late for Black, whose stomach was ripped open when Railrunner escaped from police custody. Some healing Hoodoo powder saved him from dying on the spot, but the weight of his injuries overloaded the dust's magic, making the detective's last gasp only a matter of time. Realizing he was doomed, Black chose to confront Railrunner alone in Mystic Park, whose reflecting pool marked a boundary between Earth and the Park Beyond, home to amusement park attractions of all sorts. In his final moments, Black climbed across Railrunner's body to reach its head as the latter climbed a ferris wheel to shake him off. He grabbed its necklace focus to nullify its powers, then emptied half a magazine of Austrian-made bullets directly into its brain. Slipping as a wounded ankle reasserted itself, Richard Black fell from his perch down towards the pool below and knew no more. And yet that couldn't have been the end, could it? Rick could still feel the weight of his own body. He could feel himself breathing. True, the pain was all mysteriously gone--even the knee which had been giving him trouble for years was finally quiet--but Black figured that whichever afterlife he'd reached would have been more punctual about announcing where he was. Aside from the amazing lack of pain, Black could feel a comfortable bed beneath him, although it seemed to use something besides springs. He could hear the occasional clink of earthenware pots knocking together and smelled a whiff of incense (something Eastern that Mars could have identified in a second but utterly mystified the detective) every time the wind rattled a set of shutters just over his head. And was that someone bustling around a kitchen table just then? Taking a deep breath that turned into a yawn, Black finally opened his eyes and took a look around. What confronted him was utterly mystifying. The cottage he was in appeared to be carved from a single, massive tree, its peaked roof covered in rings that marked out the tree's age as much as they proved depth like contours on a map. The contents of the room looked exactly like how Black might have pictured a witch doctor's abode; mysterious jars, pots, and herbs covered every surface and dangled from every wall, appearing to serve as much use as decoration as for ingredients. The strangest thing, however, the thing which struck Black as the most off, was the telltale smoothness and sheen of plastic which covered nearly every object and surface. Turning his head, Black spotted an elderly woman who was sipping from a large pot on an old-fashioned stove. The woman's hair was completely white and straight, tied into a ponytail, and she wore a simple white gown tied with a gold-flecked rope around her waist. Not a moment after looking, however, Black's psychic power took over and superimposed the image of a white pony with an elegant brass pole that emerged from between its shoulders. Rick shook his head as the image faded away. Usually his telepathy only gave him the vague outline of a personality and a number of important features, like a person's (self-considered) name, loved ones, and unusual features they were particularly proud or anxious about. It also did so on this occasion: the woman's name was Beatrice La Blanc, she was warm and caring to such a fault that she lived alone to avoid being taken advantage of, and she was self-conscious regarding how much fancier Americans were compared to her. Oh, and if his psychic vision was to be believed, she was also a carousel horse. Deciding to take things one at a time, Black coughed quietly to get the woman's attention. Beatrice turned, saw him looking at her, and cried, "Ah, so you're awake!" Black couldn't quite place her accent; she rolled vowels around in her mouth like French, but she bit into the hard consonants like German. "You certainly took your time," Beatrice continued as she resumed stirring her pot. "It has been, what, four, five days since you came over? You must have had much trouble on the other side. I have never seen a roller coaster suffer so much from his injuries." "Roller coaster?" Black repeated. "Yes. You do know that's what's carved into your focus, yes? You must have noticed the changes when you Awoke; I didn't have to try too very hard to supplement your natural healing. How long have you been Awake, exactly?" Mistaking her meaning, Black replied, "Not long at all, actually." "Really? Was there no one to explain your true nature? What happened to your contact, then? And how did you know what sort of portal to use?" Black shifted on his bunk and felt a weight move across his chest. Holding it up to have a look, he realized that Beatrice had tied Railrunner's focus around his neck. Thinking back to his last moments before waking up, Black remembered that it had snapped off the roller coaster train's neck and was still in his hand as he fell into the reflecting pool--into the portal! Railrunner had called it a "key" before he had tried to murder Black; apparently it was a key that worked for whomever was holding it. Pondering the stylized roller coaster train carved into a crescent moon shape, Rick muttered, "You might say I just fell into it." "Hmph! I should have a word with your contact, leaving you so clueless. Do you even know this world is called the Park Beyond? What about your true name, do you know that?" Rick sat up, still amazed at just how effortless it was to do so, considering everything that had happened to his body over the past week. He watched Beatrice as she took one last sip from the pot and then took it off the stove. From what he was feeling from her, she would accept the truth, but she would need to hear every bit of it first. Thus, as Beatrice served her vegetable stew and the two ate, Black related everything that had happened and everything he had worked out about the situation. He explained who he really was, and why he had killed the creature who originally bore the amulet that was now around his neck. Beatrice listened in silence and sat without moving for some time after Black had finished speaking. At last, she stood and walked to the door. "I need to think about this," she said as she opened the door. "Stay here for now." Beatrice closed the door behind her, leaving Black to wonder whether he really had made the right decision.
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May 29, 2013 00:18
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Black is alive and kicking in Park Beyond  In celebration of that, have an alternate book cover:
Jeek fucked around with this message at 05:35 on May 29, 2013 |
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May 29, 2013 05:32
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This is so much better than what it's based on 
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May 29, 2013 10:00
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Bobbin Threadbare posted:Richard Black awoke slowly, gradually growing aware of himself and then of his senses. His memories filtered in first, back to front: he was Detective Black, Paranatural Department, worked for the police for nearly twenty years, married to Marsha Black for nearly fifteen, had a daughter named Sarah who was working her way through the first stages of adolescence. Tried for a son for years, but eventually gave up. Paranatural?
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May 29, 2013 12:18
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Chapter 39 - Nightmares and Never Dreamscapesquote:
Railrunner, notable speaker of “witty and smart facts” such as the following: Chapter 11 “A roller coaster knows when one is rolling. As I asked before, how did you like it?” “It was - unbelievable.” “Yes a coaster is most powerful if it is one with the rails.” “Interesting.” Chapter 12 “Woody, how come I have a necklace?” I asked perplexed. “Because you Rodney are a red roller coaster. They only come along after another dies. Reds are automatically destined for greatness. The Augu Ra has belonged to every red coaster there ever was, all the way back to the beginning.” “Again, interesting. Chapter 21 “The red is sought after to be killed by the Fallen or an evil sort. That is the reason why I and my troupe had to take you to the real world, so you wouldn’t die.” “Bizarre, interesting, yet weird as all get out.” I replied. Chapter 28 “That’s not just any old ordinary sword, Railrunner. That was the sword used by Moonblood. The sword that is said to hold a very powerful secret.” “Cool.” I replied, it being the only response I could think of. quote:
How can the streets be “empty” when this place has enough population to support a gladiatorial arena? quote:
Is there any institution in this “imaginative” world that isn’t directly cribbed from the “real world”? quote:
The entire city supports Railrunner, why not just stay the night at the home of one of his countless supporters? quote:
“Everyone apologises to Railrunner for things which Railrunner should actually be the one apologizing for” seems to be a running theme in this story. quote:
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Why is Railrunner even concerned about money anyway? Doesn’t he still have that bag of gold he plundered from the Temple? Also, a single bottle of “Red C” in Trenzon, a much smaller town, cost 6 g’s (Chapter 21). A night in a penthouse suite in the best hotel in Zegria, a large city, costs only 100 times as much as that. This place has a really screwed-up economy. quote:
I’ve mentioned it before, but this “technologically advanced” society still uses stone for its buildings. quote:
What the hell is a “woodland style” building? quote:
Enough of fellating Railrunner already! quote:
Railrunner is not like every coaster there – he’s the only sociopathic mass-murderer among them. quote:
Another trademark “smart and witty” response from Railrunner. Also, 60th sigh of the book. quote:
61st sigh of the book. quote:
“Static wasn’t all that good at keeping things to himself,” said the rear end in a top hat who gave away their position to “the BIGGEST earth shattering roar I had ever heard” which “echoed all through Amusement Park Between”, revealed himself as a red roller-coaster to a random bartender whom he’s never met before, and decided that the best way to earn money discreetly was to take part in a high-profile gladiatorial match. quote:
Ah, so “woodland style” means “log cabin”. Only a writer of Miranda Leek’s talent would have drawn that connection. quote:
Why is absolutely no one in this city afraid of Ironwheel’s reprisal actions against them for granting shelter to the renegade Railrunner? quote:
Speaks volumes of Railrunner that a simple act of bringing food back for his companions is an act of “charity”. quote:
“Jollity”. quote:
Gosh is Railrunner ever a selfish bastard. He keeps his companions waiting FOUR HOURS for their food, and considers it a “charitable act” he’s doing. quote:
Why even bother drinking alcohol if he can’t get drunk? quote:
And why does Railrunner need to “hide” the bottle if he can’t get drunk anyway and therefore has no potential shame or embarrassment from being known as a drinker? Not that Railrunner ever feels shame or embarrassment for anything he does anyway, that scumbag murderer. quote:
Railrunner’s been with Static for weeks (during his training at the Temple), and he still doesn’t know what Static eats. quote:
Oh gods, is this going to lead a sex scene between Railrunner and Merrylegs? It is, isn’t it?  quote:
How do you even burp “in your throat”? quote:
“Minded your manners” =/= “Used your manners”. quote:
Do we really need to know in detail that Railrunner first rolled over onto his side before rolling over onto his back? quote:
Railrunner’s never even seen Ironwheel. quote:
Again, so far in this entire book Railrunner has been the only creature who actually endangered Clare’s life. Not the police, not the FBI, not the Fallen, not Ironwheel. quote:
This implies there are sweat pores in on his metal skin and leather seats, which is just utterly disgusting. quote:
Oh, gravity had been disrupted a long time ago, ever since Railrunner and Thunderbark started “descending upwards”. quote:
What a relief – no Railrunner-Merrylegs sex scene.
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May 29, 2013 12:46
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JosephWongKS posted:Railrunner’s been with Static for weeks (during his training at the Temple), and he still doesn’t know what Static eats.
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May 29, 2013 15:02
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He lies down on the bed? On his side? And rolls onto his back? Isn't he a roller coaster? How would you do that? Also, he drinks some water. Again - roller coaster. One glass of water hydrates a human, and he's... 100 times the weight.
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May 29, 2013 15:35
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All of the drawings and descriptions treating the rides like anthropomorphic biped creatures really makes me think of the countless deviantART OCs with fuckoff huge wings which are optional / don't appear in shapeshifted forms / retractable / can be made invisible because they're too hard to account for. Don't design a character with a bunch of ostentatious bullshit details if you're not going to stick to it! 
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May 29, 2013 16:03
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So, I'm taking it that, in this entire city, there are absolutely no Ironwheel sympathizers or Fallen spies in disguise? Heck, we've seen how effective "disguises" are in Amusement Park Between; just be wearing practically anything, and nobody can tell your color! That dark-colored bumper car over in the corner? He's wearing a hat, no way he could be a Fallen. That gray roller coaster with a metric ton of scars and a hateful look as he passes by? Well his vest's blue, surely he's a good guy. Also "canadate". I'm pretty certain that one gave me temporary brain damage, because I could not remember how to actually spell that word right for a time, I was so distressed.
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May 29, 2013 16:25
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Voltin Bolt posted:All of the drawings and descriptions treating the rides like anthropomorphic biped creatures really makes me think of the countless deviantART OCs with fuckoff huge wings which are optional / don't appear in shapeshifted forms / retractable / can be made invisible because they're too hard to account for. Don't design a character with a bunch of ostentatious bullshit details if you're not going to stick to it! This is why I actually prefer her older art, not only does it not have that much human anatomy where it doesn't belong, but in most shots the rest of the bodies were doing at least something. Not disappearing or floating off in the distance or sitting down in chairs where it isn't possible. But of course: Miranda Leek posted:Like I said, I HATE my old art and I've practiced Twisted's characters enough to where I can draw them as I imagined them. Apparently she has always imagined them as humanoid bipedal creatures who have tail that's doing gently caress-all.
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May 29, 2013 16:39
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JosephWongKS posted:“Everyone apologises to Railrunner for things which Railrunner should actually be the one apologizing for” seems to be a running theme in this story. Oh, that's just a running characteristic of Mary Sues. If there is a conflict between the main character and anyone who doesn't deserve to immediately die, the other person will be the one to apologize regardless of why or how the conflict started or went. I eventually dropped the idea, but for a while I considered giving Railrunner "MS syndrome." Those with MS are always arrogant, self-centered, and worst of all gain and lose powers however the situation demands. MS victims are the most dangerous of enemies the FBI's Paranormal Section face. quote:Why even bother drinking alcohol if he can’t get drunk? Because Miranda was 17 at the time. quote:What a relief – no Railrunner-Merrylegs sex scene. If I'm right about her background, I somewhat doubt we'll even see one between Railrunner and Clare. quote:I sat up with labor like breathing. I'm surprised you missed this one. It stuck itself right in my head.
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May 29, 2013 16:40
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I like how this entire section of the book is basically a lovely JRPG:
Of course the entire story is still a shallow vehicle (heh) for Miranda's roller coaster fetish. Tales of Coasters. sturgeon general fucked around with this message at 17:06 on May 29, 2013 |
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May 29, 2013 17:04
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Oh oh oh I'm so hoping Black teams up with Ironwheel and Freakshow to form a designated villain coalition and also a giant robot. That would be so cool. Though really whatever Bobbin does is going to be cool. quote:“Shoot anything!” Merrylegs chuckled. quote:“I don’t quite know what to think; of course I’m not a roller coaster either.”
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May 29, 2013 20:26
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erotic dad posted:Of course the entire story is still a shallow vehicle (heh) for Miranda's roller coaster fetish. Tales of Coasters. Rodney's vicinity IS a Destruction Field, after all.
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May 29, 2013 22:27
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Seriously, why the hell is the Amusement Park Between nothing like an amusement park and everything like a boring fantasy novel/Z-grade RPG. Just off the top of my head, here are five things that would make the Amusement Park Between less boring: * The currency they use: tickets, the kind you get to attend rides or win prizes. Costs are horrendously and artificially inflated to ensure only the select few can afford decent stuff. See, see, it's both like an actual amusement park and also it's like satire! * All the scenery is either obviously crappy and fake (like 2D, painted wooden "trees") or like it's airbrushed on the side of a carnival ride (distorted and amateurish or "side of a van" overblown and epic). * Food is carnival/amusement park food--turkey legs, corn dogs, deep fried twinkies--which while incredibly unhealthy for humans is everything that a park ride needs to fuel up (because of all the calories you see). This may also be satire. * Giant ominous roller coaster tracks everywhere. Roller coasters can use them to travel from place to place incredibly fast. This gives gives Ironwheel and his cronies a way to check up on his dominion and lay down the law, and also forces Ostensible Protagonist and Obi-Wan the choice between either traveling place to place rapidly at the risk of being caught, or laying low and traveling slowly at the risk of letting Ironwheel get away with his dastardly schemes. Note that Ironwheel will require dastardly schemes in the first place. * Towns and buildings are all in the style of amusement park attractions, like haunted houses, petting zoos, and expo rooms for tiny local businesses.
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May 29, 2013 23:24
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Someone should consider getting Ulillillia and Miranda in touch. They seem like they share a lot of common interests.
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May 30, 2013 02:29
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JosephWongKS posted:Why even bother drinking alcohol if he can’t get drunk? Bobbin Threadbare posted:I eventually dropped the idea, but for a while I considered giving Railrunner "MS syndrome." Those with MS are always arrogant, self-centered, and worst of all gain and lose powers however the situation demands. MS victims are the most dangerous of enemies the FBI's Paranormal Section face. Cuntpunch posted:Someone should consider getting Ulillillia and Miranda in touch. They seem like they share a lot of common interests. 
Jeek fucked around with this message at 02:38 on May 30, 2013 |
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May 30, 2013 02:36
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Jeek posted:Don't you dare compare this wretch to the most endearing OCD patient on the internet. But they both share this amazing interest in trying to shoehorn JRPG logic into everything.
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May 30, 2013 02:56
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Jeek posted:Isn't Black on the Paranatural department? Yes, but the FBI's division is called Paranormal Activities, and Mary Sues are a national threat.
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May 30, 2013 03:56
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Chapter 40 – Pirates Part 1 quote:
One chapter ago, in Chapter 39: When should we head out?” “As soon as the sun rises. That way you’re not bombarded. Or bowed at.” She giggled. Is there some dictionary or thesaurus found in Tennessee which defines “twilight” as “as soon as the sun rises”? quote:
The characters in this book seem to be constantly bothered by picayune matters of etiquette, and to be utterly unconcerned about sociopathic acts of murder and destruction. Is there a word to describe this kind of moral myopia? quote:
62nd sigh of the book. quote:
That’s possibly the most Mary Sue of all Mary Sue powers. quote:
One could say that Railrunner has already gotten rid of his mind ever since he discovered his roller-coaster heritage. quote:
Why does Railrunner need the McGuffin Sword to cut through vegetation? Doesn’t he already have razor-sharp claws? At least Miranda Leek hasn’t forgotten about the McGuffin Sword. On the other hand, it seems like she hasn’t figured out what powers it has, since it’s just being used as a machete. quote:
63rd sigh of the book. I hereby nominate this for the most inappropriate sigh of the book. quote:
I suppose there’s a certain logic in going from figuratively blood-thirsty to literally blood-thirsty. quote:
Tell that to all the widows, widowers and orphans of the police officers and FBI agents Railrunner killed. quote:
Sure he can. He’s threatened to kill just about every amusement park character he’s met so far, up to and including his own companions Merrylegs and Static. quote:
Infinite  quote:
Miranda Leek goes on and on about the iron- quote:
Someone please draw a picture of Railrunner “moving like a ninja”. quote:
“Do bad for their own benefit" is not something that has ever been said by anyone ever. quote:
Static doesn’t even have “hindquarters”. quote:
So far Railrunner’s been like a “dragon” and a “ninja”, and now he’s a “lion”, and at the end of this chapter he’ll also be a “wolf”. Why didn’t Miranda Leek just write a vanilla furry story (to the extent that there’s such a thing as a “vanilla” furry story)? At least then all the references to craving meat and blood and hunting wouldn’t seem utterly loving ridiculous. quote:
So much for “I did not want to be labeled as “bloodsucker”, “vampire”, “beast”, or the worst one, “monster”.” JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 10:33 on May 30, 2013 |
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May 30, 2013 09:37
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I knew that Miranda never finished on a cliffhanger like this one, so I checked and yes, this is not the end of that chapter. Dunno what went wrong, so have the picture from that chapter that comes after this the last paragraph posted: No higher picture quality on her site or the kindle copy unfortunately. And here's the vampire angle on this story.
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May 30, 2013 10:04
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Iced Cocoa posted:I knew that Miranda never finished on a cliffhanger like this one, so I checked and yes, this is not the end of that chapter. Dunno what went wrong, so have the picture from that chapter that comes after this the last paragraph posted: I'd forgotten to add the "Part 1" after the chapter number. I've edited it in already. Thanks!
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May 30, 2013 10:33
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Maybe twilight being when the sun rises is because this is a world from the most imaginative mind?
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May 30, 2013 11:10
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quote:Merrylegs reared back with her nostrils flaring and her legs flaying. That is an interesting mental image.
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May 30, 2013 11:51
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JosephWongKS posted:Is there some dictionary or thesaurus found in Tennessee which defines “twilight” as “as soon as the sun rises”?  Checkmate.
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May 30, 2013 12:00
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I just wish there was something I could do for him to ease his suffering. loving hell, Merrylegs. He's repeatedly threatened to kill you.quote:Redrail is the only known red to have strange nightmares that were of the same thing each night. Ones that caused mysterious pain that could not be explained. There is not much I know about them. The following information is for any future red that may experience this strange gift. quote:I had to figure something out; I did not want to be labeled as “bloodsucker”, “vampire”, “beast”, or the worst one, “monster”. JosephWongKS posted:So much for “I did not want to be labeled as “bloodsucker”, “vampire”, “beast”, or the worst one, “monster”.”
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May 30, 2013 14:34
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JosephWongKS posted:Is there some dictionary or thesaurus found in Tennessee which defines “twilight” as “as soon as the sun rises”? "Twilight" originally referred to a specific light level between day and night, and it's still used as such on occasion. When using it to refer to a time of day that isn't in the evening, however, it's archaic at best. So yes, Roget strikes again.
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May 30, 2013 14:42
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attackbunny posted:I just wish there was something I could do for him to ease his suffering. loving hell, Merrylegs. He's repeatedly threatened to kill you. It's also amusing that from the narrator's perspective, we're talking about serious pain for no apparent benefit and with no clear cure. But we're going to call this a gift anyway!
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May 30, 2013 18:50
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Richard Black's watch was missing, and so he had no way of telling just how long his host was gone. The shadows had perceptively moved across the walls before Beatrice returned, however. Seeing that he hadn't moved from the table, she took a seat across from him, took a deep breath, and began. "I will start by explaining what a contact would have told you if you had been one of us. As you know, amusement rides don't last forever. Sometimes they break or fall apart, and sometimes their popularity dies away. Sometimes, however, if a ride was very popular and very well loved in its heyday, they don't simply rot away in storage. Sometimes the magic of love touches them and gives them a living form. "This bit of magic isn't quite enough, however. The rides are given a human form and have the chance to experience life in a way they never could have imagined, but they still feel lonely and abandoned. They can never quite fit in the way humans do among each other." Beatrice's eyes wandered away from Rick as she spoke, reliving her own memories. "No one knows who first discovered the Park Beyond, or how he reached it. The foci are made in this world, are a part of it, and they are needed to make the trip. Perhaps there are other, more difficult ways across, or perhaps he created this world himself. However it happened, he became the first contact. He made many trips into your world to find others like him, like us. He told us what we really were and how to Awaken into our powers, and he brought us here to live in peace. Some stayed here permanently, but others joined his efforts. I myself worked as a contact for ten years. I still watch one of the portals for newcomers, which is where I found you. "Finding newcomers on their own isn't that rare. Not every contact is as serious about their job as they should be, and sometimes they have to deal with multiple cases at once. Animatrons are usually found in groups, for instance, and carousel horses always herd together." Beatrice smirked at a private memory. "Still, I thought you seemed odd when I saw the focus in your hand; roller coasters are never in groups of more than half a dozen, are more often solitary, and they can be very temperamental, so any contact would have to be very careful when dealing with one. And then there's the matter of Thunderbolt's rebellion." "Thunderbolt's rebellion?" Black asked. "Yes. There are two major types of ride in the Park Beyond: gentle rides and thrill rides. Gentle rides like myself are generally peaceful and kind, but thrill rides are aggressive and domineering. So long as the Park Beyond has existed, it has been controlled by one thrill ride or another. Normally this isn't so bad; they push around the lesser rides when they show up, but they usually spend their time fighting with other thrill rides. They all seem to enjoy it, but that all changed when Iron Raptor appeared. "You said you already know that roller coasters can control things the same color as their skin, yes?" Black nodded. After Railrunner tore his stomach open with his own red blood, how could he ever forget? "Iron Raptor is black. Color is such a subjective thing, isn't it? Not everyone can see every color. Colors can also change with the lighting; something that's red under the sun may be closer to purple in florescent light. But everything is black at night. "At first, Raptor spent his time in a cave, bothering no one. After some time, however, he realized what his powers could do and he made raids into towns and cities under the cover of darkness. After enough success, he drew others to him, others who had powers that worked well in the day. He deposed the last ruler by challenging her to single combat and then having one of his allies cover the field in darkness. "Gentle rides didn't think much of this at the time; as I said, the struggle between thrill rides is constant. But Iron Raptor had some different ideas on how things should work. Power wasn't enough for him: he wanted control. That meant having to do everything just the way he said, to pay him respects and give him gifts every single day. Maybe taxes are eternal in the human world, but here there is no need. The Park Beyond provides us with everything we could want; food, shelter, places to play...commerce is more a matter of habit and courtesy than a necessity. For Iron Raptor, though, the having isn't enough. He wants to take." "So...Thunderbolt's rebellion?" "One of the other roller coasters has organized a resistance force against Iron Raptor's rule. I am...well, sort of a part of it. The portal I watch is unknown to Raptor's followers, so Thunderbolt has been using it to gather recruits from the human world. Most recently he told me about a very promising new recruit, a red coaster whose power might even rival Iron Raptor's. Even when fully in our ride forms, we have some organic parts hidden away, and the blood that flows through them is always red." "And then I went and killed him, didn't I?" "You did. By the sound of things, you may have done us a favor. I have never, not ever heard of any ride doing in your world what Railrunner did! Not even other roller coasters acted so poorly when they Awakened. I doubt his rule would have been much better than Iron Raptor's." "I doubt he would have won a straight-up fight, either. Railrunner's seats were black," Rick added. "Still, you've left us one savior short, and you have somehow arrived in his place. Did you know you are the first human to lay eyes on the Park Beyond? Perhaps you can do what we cannot. Perhaps you can defeat Iron Raptor for us." Black began to shake his head. "Listen, maybe you all aren't as bloodthirsty as Railrunner was, but this isn't my fight. I have a wife and child back home, and I'm sure they'll want to know that I'm still alive! Now, something I can do is contact the FBI when I get back and explain the situation to them. I'm sure there's something they could send to help out--" Beatrice slammed the table. "No! You are the one who took Railrunner's life, it is only fitting that you should take his place. If you succeed, you will have made up for your actions. If you die, you will have traded a life for a life." "What about all those people Railrunner killed?" Black argued. Beatrice folded her arms. "Killing does not justify killing." Black sighed. Apparently, being a gentle ride meant not knowing why sometimes a life must be taken. "So what's going to stop me from saying yes for now and then just going back on my own?" "I won't tell you where to dive. You'll understand when you leave." Rick was prepared to argue the point, but he sensed a strong conviction from Beatrice that her noncooperation would be enough. "Fine. So let's say I do help you folks out. How would I go about doing that?" "You should seek out Thunderbolt first and explain what happened. There's a town ten miles to the southwest where he's likely expecting Railrunner to show up. Look for either an old man with a thick, white mustache or a long white roller coaster." "White?" Black muttered. The security cameras at the county jail had been malfunctioning just before Railrunner escaped, and what other color would they have been painted? He'd known Railrunner had confederates when a yellow carousel horse rescued his girlfriend from his second rampage, but the new information went a ways toward explaining some of the inconsistencies. "If you're ready to leave, your clothes and things are there by the door," Beatrice gestured. Rick smiled, glad to finally wear something beyond his torn and somewhat stained underclothes. Examining his Glock, he saw that the gun was still empty, having spent its full capacity on Railrunner's final stand. He checked his jacket pockets next, and a wave of relief came over him as he felt the handfuls of shrunken magazines and regrowth patches right where he left them. The first seventeen bullets might have proven to be enough, but Black had prepared for the encounter by convincing a mage friend to shrink boxes' worth of ammunition ahead of time, ammunition he needed now more than ever. As he buttoned up his shirt, Black said, "So if you don't mind me asking, how come you're in human form if you're really a wooden carousel horse?" Beatrice's eyes widened. "When did I tell you what I was? Well, I suppose I must have given it away at some point. As for why I'm human right now, that's an easy question to answer." She smiled as she held up her hand and wiggled her fingers. "Making soup isn't all that easy when all you have are hooves. Now if I can ask you a question, how did you regenerate so well from your injuries if you're really just a human?" Black opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again. The last he knew about his injuries was that he had overdosed on the healing powder that was keeping him going in order to combat his evisceration. Between the overdose and the lethality of his combined injuries, the powder started to act erratically, and its failure at a crucial moment was what led to him falling into the reflecting pool and ending up in the Park Beyond. According to Beatrice, it took him four days to recover--far too slow if the Hoodoo powder had become permanent, but far, far too fast if his healing had been natural. But then she also said she supplemented the healing somehow, perhaps with some spell or enchanted herb native to the new world? Magic was an unpredictable force even at the best of times, and mixing spells was always a dangerous idea. Still, Rick supposed he should be thankful that it saved his life in this instance, even if he had no idea what other consequences might yet be to come. "Just a bit of magic and some awfully good luck," he answered. "Then I hope for all our sakes your luck will continue," Beatrice responded, opening the door as Black tied his shoes. "To be a human in a world full of amusement rides...I think you'll need it." Bobbin Threadbare fucked around with this message at 22:38 on May 30, 2013 |
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May 30, 2013 21:10
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Railrunner is The Hero, right? Because "drinking blood of your enemies" is generally a villainous quality.Bobbin Threadbare posted:Black Raptor Now see? He sounds like a villain. Control everything covered in black and darkness by casting a shadow over a battlefield. Clever and villainous. Very good qualities. We haven't even met the guy and he has already done something villainous.
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May 30, 2013 21:54
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Merrylegs is the goon in the well. It all makes sense now.
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May 30, 2013 22:38
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This is how you write a villain that's rarely seen. This is how you manage a special power that makes sense even if it differs between individuals. That's of course if Beatrice is telling the truth. It's also interesting that she kept her human connection if she still considered herself to be Beatrice instead of her "True Name", subtlety that Miranda seems incapable of.SSNeoman posted:Railrunner is The Hero, right? Because "drinking blood of your enemies" is generally a villainous quality. The reluctant and/or redeemable vampire is a common trope. JosephWongKS, can you see in the book what it says in the picture that's with this chapter? The bark, the sign and the ribbon? Iced Cocoa fucked around with this message at 23:38 on May 30, 2013 |
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May 30, 2013 23:35
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Others have already mentioned that you've already written a villain far better than Miranda ever managed, but I also like how you're changing the names to resemble names that rides would actually have in our world. "Iron Raptor" and "Thunderbolt" are names I could see actual coasters having, as opposed to "Ironwheel" and "Thunderbark". I also like that you're making an effort to actually define the abilities roller coasters have, and how it is differentiated by colors. In short, you continue to do good work, and are creating a far better story from the shaky foundations of Twisted than it will ever be.
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May 30, 2013 23:43
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