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Sure, I'm up for this (haha I have five meetings left to chair this week though)Martello posted:
I don't Know a single thing about American military, would I be severely handicapped?
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Jun 5, 2013 15:05
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Bonus option for this week
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In.
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Jun 5, 2013 15:07
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I'm in.
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Jun 5, 2013 15:21
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There, glad that worked out. I'll be sitting this prompt out but luckily my job doesn't bleed into my weekends so I'll help judge if I'm needed. Incidentally thanks to Phil & crabrock for taking a look at my piece.
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Jun 5, 2013 15:31
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In, but, is that 1359 words exactly, or maximum? Thanks to CancerCakes for the detailed criticism. I wasn't happy with that piece at all, this week I will do better. Peel fucked around with this message at 15:35 on Jun 5, 2013 |
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Jun 5, 2013 15:31
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Chairchucker posted:Dibs! I'll give it a shot.
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Jun 5, 2013 15:38
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Sure, I'm up for this (haha I have five meetings left to chair this week though) Nah you can pretty much read that other thread - the wall of shame one in the goldmine - and know everything there is to know about IDR.
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Jun 5, 2013 15:41
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Chillmatic posted:disclaimer: i was often called a harsh critiquer, though I do try to keep my own frustrations as a writer away from my criticisms. i also try to avoid strictly stylistic suggestions/revisions. Just wanted to say thanks for this crit. It's my failure in communication, but the two major elements of the real story that might address your question would be (1) there are two different aristocrats, the second being Moneys, who was killed; and (2) neither of them were traitors, republicans, or spies and most likely neither of them said anything like "down with the emperor." Also, re: the em dash suggestion for the "one- and two-footed varieties," those are two phrasal adjectives, each taking a hyphen.
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Jun 5, 2013 15:55
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Phil Moscowitz posted:Also, re: the em dash suggestion for the "one- and two-footed varieties," those are two phrasal adjectives, each taking a hyphen. I had to stare at that paragraph for nearly three minutes until I figured out why I'd written that. I think it's because the break came at one of the hyphens and the way it read made me think you were trying to do a dash-break (like a parenthetical) and then go for the phrasal--hence why I didn't "correct" the second hyphen. Best I can figure out, anyway, as to what I was thinking. Thanks for pointing that out!
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Jun 5, 2013 16:07
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I'm in. Thanks for recognizing the most improved part. It was a poo poo ton lot more work than I expected, but worth it. Other than Chillmatic, did I even get an official crit on my final work?
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Jun 5, 2013 16:08
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I am totally in. Gonna squirt some bible juice all over space.
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Jun 5, 2013 16:18
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magnificent7 posted:I'm in. Thanks for recognizing the most improved part. It was a poo poo ton lot more work than I expected, but worth it. You've got one coming from me. I'll tell you right now, I actually laughed at your piece so you done good, dog.
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Jun 5, 2013 16:18
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IN. 
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Jun 5, 2013 16:22
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Nubile Hillock posted:Still need a judge + prompt for me and jonas! Kaishai, I'm lookin at you.... Allrighty, then!  Nubile Hillock vs. JonasSalk Thunderbrawl: Last Wagon Train to Thermopylae You both like ancient Greece, do you? So do I! The terms of your battle, therefore, are these: write a story inspired by Greek history and/or mythology through the Peloponnesian War--400 BC is your cut-off date. Your stories don't have to be set in that time period, although that would be acceptable. Write about archaeology or Space Spartans if you so choose; an imaginative interpretation will work in your favor if you pull it off. Just make sure you don't leave me wondering what the hell is so Greek about this entry. I also wish your story to include a wagon in some way. Whether it's greater than the sum of its parts is irrelevant to me, Hillock, you weirdo. Maximum word count: 1,100 words. Deadline: Sunday, June 9, 11:59pm U.S. Eastern.
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Jun 5, 2013 16:24
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I'm in.
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Jun 5, 2013 16:35
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Hit me with a hot biblical injection.
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Jun 5, 2013 17:01
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Biblical sci-fi? Let's give this a shot.
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Jun 5, 2013 17:08
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Not gonna miss a chuckerprompt. I'm in.
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Jun 5, 2013 17:24
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I'm in. Biblical sci-fi sounds good for my first Thunderdome attempt.
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Jun 5, 2013 17:25
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It's been too long, T-dome. Doin' it.
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Jun 5, 2013 17:50
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Jun 5, 2013 18:04
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Do you really  to fart?
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Jun 5, 2013 18:10
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Yes. Ask my fiancee. Although lately she's been rippin 'em left and right. Probably was bok choi last night.
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Jun 5, 2013 18:23
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Sure, I'm up for this (haha I have five meetings left to chair this week though) We shouted down the one guy who tried to correct everybody on lingo, so, with that in mind, come on in, CCgoons! e: I want to try this, I'm having too much fun writing about trannies 3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Jun 5, 2013 |
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Jun 5, 2013 18:43
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old dog child posted:e: I want to try this, I'm having too much fun writing about trannies http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/d/danytran.htm ? E: I looked at the thread, I assume I need to avoid talking about aviation
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Jun 5, 2013 18:54
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Hell no, that guy is lame sperg. Do whatever you want.
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Jun 5, 2013 19:02
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I'm in. It can't get any worse! (It can get exactly one degree worse.)
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Jun 5, 2013 19:04
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“I’m sorry,” you say, turning away momentarily from the suited man. “I just don’t trust you. Bringer of light? Do you think I’m an idiot?” Spinning round, you strike the suited man on the head with your walking stick, with all of the force your new young body can manage - the full resentment and bitterness of every aged ache and pain unleashed. His head caves in with a weak crunch, but you don’t stop, raining blow after blow on his head, and then, when that is too insubstantial to strike, on his body. Grabbing the suit, you pick up the remains. He is incredibly light, and when you throw him into the mouth of the Cave of Time he travels a fair distance, striking a wall and collapsing into a ragged heap. The crystal walls of the Cave glow red, then begin to fade away. Soon there is nothing to see but a few traces of blood and brain and the featureless cliff wall that was here twenty minutes ago. With your heart beating and your mind racing, you clean yourself up in the nearby brook as best you can, but your clothes are now stained with the suited man’s blood. You wait in the woods until it’s dark, and sneak back to your home under cover of night. You burn your clothes, and set to work creating a new identity as your old self’s much younger cousin. For the most part, you enjoy your new lease on life. You make new friends, and have new adventures with them in the world you have decided to stay in. You know you made the right decision because the bringer of light is Satan, isn’t it? It was a trap. He was trying to trap you and he deserved to die, because if he hadn’t it would have been your soul. That wasn’t really the Cave of Time. It was temptation. But you beat him, didn’t you. You beat the devil and now, here you are, young again. You won. Every time you sleep you see his head breaking apart. Fumblemouse fucked around with this message at 07:13 on Jul 15, 2013 |
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Jun 5, 2013 19:51
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My nubile virgin rear end is IN.
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Jun 5, 2013 19:52
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gently caress it, I'm in. Going to try to poo poo something out even if I have to write it on beer coasters.
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Jun 5, 2013 20:26
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In.
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Jun 5, 2013 20:33
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In. 15 You doubt that Grace will talk your mother into a trip to China, so you decide not to worry about that. Your own plan is much more feasible. For years your mother and your uncle Zakhar have both bandied about the idea of you going overseas to visit him in Yakutsk. You spring the notion on your mother as soon as you get home, and after several phone calls and e-mails to Russia, everything is arranged: your trip begins three days after Christmas. Uncle Zakhar meets you at the airport and drives you to his condo, which is tiny, but you're so glad to be off the plane and out of the shattering cold that you barely notice. For the first couple of days you stick to getting to know your uncle. Then, over dinner, you work chrome diopside into the conversation. "Sure, there are mines south of here," he says. "Far south." "Could we visit?" you ask. "You want to freeze your fingers off? Nothing is happening there now." "Uncle Zakhar...." You decide to bring him in on the secret. "Have you heard about the Zopper Toothpaste treasure?" His response is not what you hoped. He slams his palm against on the table. "This is why you came to see me in winter like a crazy person. I'm your hotel so you can play the hunting game. No! I won't take you to the mines. I don't want to hear about it again." He's harsh, but he's not wrong, and guilt almost stops you from borrowing his car, some money, and a credit card the next day to make for the mines on your own. You promise yourself that when you find the treasure, buying a house larger than a closet for Uncle Zakhar will be your very first act. Driving around in a foreign country, in a "borrowed" vehicle, with a learner's permit and maps you can't read isn't the easiest way to conduct a hunt, however. It's fortunate that you find men who speak English in a gas station between Yakutsk and the mining town of Aldan. They're willing to point you toward a productive mining site in exchange for cash bribes, but their laughter follows you out to the car. You reach the site at night. Instead of the openings into underground shafts that you imagined, the mine is a wide bowl, a quarry, open to the snow and sky. Looking south, you spot three familiar stars: Orion's Belt. Orion! The Hunter! Excitement drives away all your doubts--though they rush back as you consider the pale blanket that hides everything but the general shape of the earth. Taking a flashlight from Uncle Zakhar's glove compartment, a shovel and snowshoes from his trunk, you creak slowly down into the bowl. Digging aimlessly won't get you anywhere; the site is far too big. You shine your light around, and you think you see an answering glint to your left! A reflection? Another light? Is someone else here? Or could the flash have come from a marker left by Mr. Zopper? If you want to investigate the glint, turn to Page 9. If you sit tight and watch to see whether the light comes back, turn to Page 18. Kaishai fucked around with this message at 04:17 on Jul 15, 2013 |
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Jun 5, 2013 20:53
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in
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Jun 5, 2013 21:22
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Never read the bible, but I have seen Spaceballs almost four times, so I'm in.
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Jun 5, 2013 21:26
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Well I've read the Bible and seen Spaceballs, so I guess I'm double in.
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Jun 5, 2013 22:03
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In. STILL NEED A BRAWLJUDGE SOMEONE GODDAMN VOLUNTEER
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Jun 5, 2013 22:17
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Nubile Hillock posted:STILL NEED A BRAWLJUDGE SOMEONE GODDAMN VOLUNTEER GODDAMMIT HILLOCK LEARN TO READ IT'S ON THIS PAGE AND EVERYTHING.
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Jun 5, 2013 22:35
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Nubile Hillock posted:In. Nelsonmuntz.gif I'm lazy as poo poo and need to fix that, so I'll do crits for this brawl as well.
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Jun 5, 2013 22:36
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Judges were too slow, so I am out this week. I'll throw a poo poo crit at the last newbie to submit before the deadline, because I am public spirited like that. Also my majorly reworked smallpox story is going to the farm at somepoint. be excited.
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Jun 5, 2013 22:52
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JonasSalk posted:Well, this was an okay story. I see what you was going for, but again, I think this could use some cutting. Devil Michael Jackson was totally unnecessary and took focus off of the Dancing Queen. For the most part, it was well written, and I'm sure the little things I caught, you'd catch in a rewrite. I had a friend read my story after I posted it and she didn't get the Michael Jackson part. (Although Jesus still works) It's a relief that some get it. I thought it would add a spin to the mystery but I would need to make it a lot stronger to pull it off. Thanks. I will be in this week. I love the Old Testament.
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Jun 5, 2013 23:51
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