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my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
Not D, Not B, Not F

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Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Ixtlilton posted:

Oh please, the game won't end just because we murder our best friend in cold blood and gnaw on his corpse to make it look like an animal attack, stop being so melodramatic :rolleyes:.

Really though guys, I understand being upset at our fellow voters for leading us so far astray from Asherah and the desire to vote for a "gently caress you guys" option even if it won't win. If we're going to roleplay at all or actually want our opinions to matter though, running back home and leaving our friend behind (because he can't dance) is much better.

Yeah. I mean, I'm getting a big kick out of the DBF surge, seems to have been predictably and a-long-time coming, but I'm not going to vote with it, as A) It might very well be reckless enough to bring things to an end and B) Especially given recent (sigh) voting developments, it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. Even if we want to stick to Asherah, I don't think cold-blooded-child-murderer is terribly within our character, especially the child we just adopted as BFF-<3-Childhood-Buddies-4-Lyfe. I mean, neither was most of what's happened recently, by the same logic, but it's no 'better' now to completely jump the in-character train than it was previously. Although I suppose there's the whole two-wrongs mentality.

Anyway, I'll be getting a kick out of whatever happens.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Voting:


STAB HIM WITH THE TOOTH! ASHERAH HUNGERS!


I am going to interpret this as your agreement with the DBF plan.
I think it is monstrously evil and cruel but this is your story so it is your choice.

I am not invested in any outcome and just try to provide a broad set of choices, but you can always order off menu as it were.

I think we have a small but serious crowd of pro Asherah folks so these sorts of options are not going anywhere for a while.

OrangeOrbit
Apr 27, 2008
Fun Shoe

my dad posted:

Not D, Not B, Not F

This right here. I don't like game overs or child sacrifice.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Voting:


STAB HIM WITH THE TOOTH! ASHERAH HUNGERS!


I am going to interpret this as your agreement with the DBF plan.

He was actually responding to my questions about the necessary ingredients for human sacrifice. We have most, but not all. Do we know the proximity of of Baitel to the ocean?

I am for it happening, but don't think it makes sense tonight... Actually, I have now assumed that we are pretty much insane at this point since our actions do not seem to correlate to events. I chalk it down to too much happening in a short period of time... Some part of us seems to be in denial. Understandable given the traumatic events and our abusive upbringing. Sadly abuse is now our model. We are speshul because we are the only one abused in the entire village. I feel this must be the basis of our evident neurosis.

Cathair
Jan 7, 2008

my dad posted:

Not D, Not B, Not F

Voting this. Let's not go batshit crazy, let's keep the game going a little longer.

There are more prudent ways of pursuing fish-laser opportunities than suddenly murdering a little kid who also happens to be our only friend.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
Yo I'm as much in favor of overthrowing El's children in the name of the Sea Dragon as much as anyone but Asherah can't use us if we're dead, guys. Danal isn't exactly a priority target or a threat to anyone right now. Since we're stuck going to the big city anyway, let's use this chance to get a look at the King's palace (take careful note of all entrances/exits) and the layout of the city and see if there are any riffs to exploit in his court.

Ixtlilton
Mar 10, 2012

How to Draw
by Rube Goldberg

I'd like to take this opportunity to once again encourage all of you to vote I on 3. The F vote is dead, looking at current numbers of positive and negative votes it stands at 1. However, thanks to a splitting of the vote among the non-Asherah supporters the next highest option only has 11 votes. This means that I can be tied for first with 9 more votes.

Come on Asherah supporters, let's catch these traitors with their pants down, switch our votes at the last second making their negative votes worthless and go home!

Ixtlilton fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Jun 6, 2013

DarkCrawler
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin
Actually yeah, even if I hate the fact that people turned this from an very interesting story and setting into a generic Harry Potter experience (yer a wizard El-worshipper Harry!) I'm not sure if Harry flipping out and brutally stabbing Ron in the train and eating his kidneys would have exactly made it into a better story.

So here's my vote:

D Holy poo poo! What the gently caress did I do?! They killed my father! I left my uncles, my mother, everyone I know, to the mercy of Asherah without a priest to protect them! Now that Jalitha is safe I won't feel bad leaving her, but I got to save my village from a pissed off fish god! Also this cannibal stuff is a crock of poo poo, come on.

B Also, wait for the right moment to run away. Were taller so he can't catch up with us.

I Back to the village!

Also, we can't really do poo poo in the city. A) We're an uneducated outsider, B) Worship the wrong god, C) It's a really big city, D) Come on, you think Danal doesn't have other friends from more important circles? Plus we don't know if they choose their king through inheritance anyway so even if we become BFFs doesn't mean we're automatically tied to power.

Whereas in the village we can pick up where dad left off and they have nobody else but us. You want to be planktons in a sea or a really big fish in a small pond?

DarkCrawler fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Jun 6, 2013

Nolaterif
Jan 10, 2003

C, C, C

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions


DarkCrawler posted:

D Holy poo poo! What the gently caress did I do?! They killed my father! I left my uncles, my mother, everyone I know, to the mercy of Asherah without a priest to protect them! Now that Jalitha is safe I won't feel bad leaving her, but I got to save my village from a pissed off fish god! Also this cannibal stuff is a crock of poo poo, come on.
and they have nobody else but us. You want to be planktons in a sea or a really big fish in a small pond?

^^ I vote this D for my vote number 1.

2. C
3. I. Leave Danal. He's a cute kid, but I'd rather his Dad not be inspired to hunt us down atm.


vvvvvKilljoy.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Changing from Not F to Not I on the third option.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

I would like to point out at this point that 3:F has been strategically not-voted to ONE... so you may want to consider picking your first choice. Or not! Vote as you so desire!

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS
Grimey Drawer
<Canuck-Errant> what happens if 3F goes negative
<Diog> you ressurect one of Danal's anscestors from the dead, canuck

Spreadsheet:

Snow Job
May 24, 2006

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Diogines posted:

I would like to point out at this point that 3:F has been strategically not-voted to ONE... so you may want to consider picking your first choice. Or not! Vote as you so desire!

Voting NOT 3:F to seal the deal

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Change:
Not F
To
H

I feel adventure is coming to us and we don't need to go looking. What I imagined would happen is some small thing in the forest while the camp is attacked.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
Changed my no. 3 vote to I (leave Danal). I edited my other post but want to make sure it's noticed... is it okay to post again? This is my first CYOA thread :ohdear:

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS
Grimey Drawer

Piedmon Sama posted:

Changed my no. 3 vote to I (leave Danal). I edited my other post but want to make sure it's noticed... is it okay to post again? This is my first CYOA thread :ohdear:

Please, do post if you're editing your vote; it makes it a lot easier to track.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer

Canuck-Errant posted:

<Canuck-Errant> what happens if 3F goes negative
<Diog> you ressurect one of Danal's anscestors from the dead, canuck


[s]You heard the man, keep voting against 3f![s]

[b]3 not-I[b]

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

Vote change on 3. to I

Yea, I don't want this to get turned into generic adventures by people afraid of a game over lest they make a single bad choice. C'mon guys, Asherah has the potential to be a way more interesting than following 'Good God No. 381 (not-Jehovah)'. We shouldn't let the lack of plot armour hold us back, hell, in the last CYOA, despite Diogines (Sebeks) warnings we did almost everything wrong, got a premature game over, but still got a kickass story.

alpaca diseases fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Jun 6, 2013

Raserys
Aug 22, 2011

IT'S YA BOY

maxhush posted:

Vote changed to I

Yea, I don't want this to get turned into generic adventures by people afraid of a game over lest they make a single bad choice. C'mon guys, Asherah has the potential to be a way more interesting than following 'Good God No. 381 (not-Jehovah)'. We shouldn't let the lack of plot armour hold us back, hell, in the last CYOA we did almost everything wrong, got a premature game over, but still got a kickass story.

That was a Madgod. This is an 11-year old.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Raserys posted:

That was a Madgod. This is an 11-year old.

Our hair has also been cut, severing our connection to Asherah for all time or something like that.

cxp
Mar 27, 2010
Fun Shoe
1. C
2. A
3. C

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

Raserys posted:

That was a Madgod. This is an 11-year old.

An 11 year old with a slain father. If you deny the natural course of vengeance just because his killers are pretty, snazzy-dressed ubermenschen with bronze poo poo on their spears and ears then I don't even know.

SerSpook posted:

Our hair has also been cut, severing our connection to Asherah for all time or something like that.

We're not in this for backpats from the Great Devourer. These arrogant guys with their shirts and their hats came in and walked all over us, killed our father and severed us from our land. We may not be rewarded by being reincarnated as a whale but we can take them down all the same!

Harime Nui fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Jun 6, 2013

UppaTree
May 4, 2013

I'm still okay with Hungry Hungry Fishgod as an option, but not here, not yet. Donal is our path to starting a subversive Asherah cult in Zepath!

Our village leadership was literally and figuratively decapitated because a strange foreigner poisoned the mind of the local leader's son with some funny stories. This is our chance to tell some of our funny stories to their leader's son.

But first we must establish ourselves as nicer than his dad

C, C, A

We need to find a monstrous thing, save his rear end from it, and establish ourselves as a great big brother AND a more fun guy to be around.

This kid is the son of a king, so responsibility will come crashing down on him soon enough, and we need to make sure he's inclined to dodge it with us!

Kira Akashiya
Feb 2, 2013
1. C
2. C
3. C

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.

DarkCrawler posted:

B) Worship the wrong god,

...

Whereas in the village we can pick up where dad left off and they have nobody else but us. You want to be planktons in a sea or a really big fish in a small pond?

We worship El, religion isn't going to be an issue. Assuming Enkidel manages to make the perilous trip back home, which is no small feat for an eleven year old boy who has never left his own tribe before, you're not going to be able to pick up where dad left. Enkidel's training was incomplete. He learned to make a few powders and how to collect shells, but the important rituals and things like seeing the future and reading the tides are completely unknown to him. His own people won't even consider him an adult yet, because he never participated in the cannibalistic ritual in the forest.

If, by some miracle, he manages to go home, he will find that things have changed drastically as foretold by his father. The tribe will have a new priest sourced from one of the faraway villages, one that probably wants to put his own progeny in a position of power and will see us as a direct threat. He's also going to be shunned more than before because of his haircut, and that's the best outcome that can be expected. Worst case scenario they won't let him back in, or they kill and eat him.

maxhush posted:

C'mon guys, Asherah has the potential to be a way more interesting than following 'Good God No. 381 (not-Jehovah)'.

Asherah doesn't care about us, as long as we do what he says. He doesn't bless us, and doesn't care if we die or not as long as we don't defy him. He's not going to be our ally, and the only way he's going to do anything of interest is if we antagonize him into doing so.

El, on the other hand, actually sent out one of his angels to save us and Jalitha. He's already more involved with us than fish demon.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

Zybourne Clock posted:

El, on the other hand, actually sent out one of his angels to save us and Jalitha. He's already more involved with us than fish demon.

Actually by his own admission this dude is the progeny of an angel and a human, and the angelic ancestor is fairly far back along the line. He's just some rear end in a top hat Nephilim and I bet his head severs quite nicely.

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
Maybe El sent an Angel because it knew how important we are to Asherah, who spoke to us at a young age. Maybe El knew how powerful a force we would be when combined with Asherah.

The truth is we don't really know much about Asherah yet. We just have assumptions based upon our father, who even dismissed that we heard anything, so even he didn't have a clear picture.

Tsyni fucked around with this message at 01:26 on Jun 6, 2013

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Tsyni posted:

Maybe El sent an Angel because it knew how important we are to Asherah, who spoke to us at a young age, because it knew how important we are to him/her. Maybe El knew how powerful a force we would be when combined with Asherah.

Maybe it wasn't Asherah speaking to us, but the importance of cutting hair is to allow angels or El to communicate with you in some manner. The slight hair cut we received allowed this for a brief period, thus how damned quiet the message was.

baby picture
Aug 7, 2004

I wish I could press a button and a rope would instantly tie around my ankle and I would be hung out of the highest window of the highest skyscraper in the world

EVG posted:

OPTION C. Filled with wonder. You are in a forest similar yet different from where you were born and the symphony of night is strange and fascinating.
OPTION A. Right next to you, close, so you don't get separated.
OPTION A. You want to find a monster and kill it, just like from the stories!

Same here.

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

Zybourne Clock posted:

Asherah doesn't care about us, as long as we do what he says. He doesn't bless us, and doesn't care if we die or not as long as we don't defy him. He's not going to be our ally, and the only way he's going to do anything of interest is if we antagonize him into doing so.

He cares enough to give his faithful powers to use on those who threaten our way of life/his status quo. Which will be coming about more often, as any self respecting king wouldn't leave a village of alleged cannibals to run loose, or when the heavens clash and Asherah realises needs some foot soldiers in the mortal world too, whichever comes first.

Besides, 'Dad' said himself that Asherah would provide a replacement if someone essential to the priesthood chain dies, so for all we know there could be some long lost superuncle waiting for us. They don't care about progeny either I don't think, sounds like its right guy for the job - which slightly leads onto the fact that they probably wouldn't kill and eat us, if anything they'd kill and eat Danal, which would at least garner some interest from our FishDemonGod, due to the fact sacrificing a descendant of Labaras/A Favoured of El would be pretty unprecedented

Or exterminated by a wrathful, grieving king, either or.

I don't actually want to get Danal killed and eaten btw, I just want to show him the ocean....then in the future gradually convert him to Asherah; whether that involves going back to our village or the city, I'm easy - It's a fitting type of vengeance I think.

alpaca diseases fucked around with this message at 02:13 on Jun 6, 2013

Natalie Fartman
Apr 5, 2013

I selflessly rescued an abandoned cat during the COVID-19 Pandemic :3:

NOT D,B,F.

edit: I got the letters the wrong way round. I'm sure my intention was clear though, no to silly murderous rages.

Natalie Fartman fucked around with this message at 05:19 on Jun 6, 2013

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

by Fluffdaddy
1. Option C
2. Option C
3. Option H


We're humoring our friend and trying out some freedom

DarthRoblox
Nov 25, 2007
*rolls ankle* *gains 15lbs* *apologizes to TFLC* *rolls ankle*...
C A H

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.

Ixtlilton posted:

I'd like to take this opportunity to once again encourage all of you to vote I on 3. The F vote is dead, looking at current numbers of positive and negative votes it stands at 1. However, thanks to a splitting of the vote among the non-Asherah supporters the next highest option only has 11 votes. This means that I can be tied for first with 9 more votes.

Come on Asherah supporters, let's catch these traitors with their pants down, switch our votes at the last second making their negative votes worthless and go home!

Okay I will change my third vote to I sure why not.

vote changed, see below.

A RICH WHITE MAN fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Jun 6, 2013

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

1. C
2. C
3. H

Also, quietly ask our shark-tooth pendant what it thinks about all this.

Kristopher
Jun 28, 2006

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Voting:


STAB HIM WITH THE TOOTH! ASHERAH HUNGERS!


I am going to interpret this as your agreement with the DBF plan.

Praise Asherah, a man with some sense! Count another vote for D,B,F.

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Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
1A
2E - Master Blaster!
3A


Finally it might be murderkill time.

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