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Kira Akashiya
Feb 2, 2013
Voting E+M

Kira Akashiya fucked around with this message at 14:52 on Jun 8, 2013

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HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

OPTION EF Close your eyes and try to concentrate, to see if you can remember any hints on which way to go. I want to hold Dana's hand while doing so. The last thing I want to do is get Danal lost in the woods alone.

:frogsiren:UPDATE UP ON THE LAST PAGE:frogsiren:


Edit: vv You are right.

HiHo ChiRho fucked around with this message at 14:25 on Jun 8, 2013

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
FU

Afraid? Hell no, we're on an adventure!


HiHo ChiRho posted:

I want to hold Dana's hand while doing so. The last thing I want to do is get Danal lost in the woods alone.

I would assume that this would be a part of F.

edit: CHANGED VOTE, see below

my dad fucked around with this message at 16:35 on Jun 8, 2013

DarkCrawler
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin
Dumb, dumb kid.

GH

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Glad it looks like your prayers to Otac worked out, Diog!

Anyways...

J + V,

V Climb the tree and calm Danal by telling him kid-friendly stories about a 'secret friend to heroes' named Ashera. Stress that these wonderful stories are a big secret between the two of you, which will hopefully make him feel important and special.


Hey, can't hurt to start converting the kid now! And we're should be an excellent storyteller by now, which should keep him calm and entertained throughout the night...and not making crazy sobbing noise that's going to attract wild animals. Fingers crossed, anyway.

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy

FoxTerrier posted:

Glad it looks like your prayers to Otac worked out, Diog!

Anyways...

J + V,

V Climb the tree and calm Danal by telling him kid-friendly stories about a 'secret friend to heroes' named Ashera. Stress that these wonderful stories are a big secret between the two of you, which will hopefully make him feel important and special.


Hey, can't hurt to start converting the kid now! And we're should be an excellent storyteller by now, which should keep him calm and entertained throughout the night...and not making crazy sobbing noise that's going to attract wild animals. Fingers crossed, anyway.

I like this, but I think we have a non-extreme chance to see if Ashera has any mustard. Let's do:

JR

Pray to Ashera, perform the divining ritual with the shark tooth.

Can we even climb up the trees? Bears and cougars can climb trees better than humans, so maybe these monsters can too.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer
L + Q

Time to channel our namesake, jerks!

Eryxias
Feb 17, 2011

Stay low.
F: Let's try to calm the little guy down.

Q: Less of "We're a hero yay!" and more "We might need some protection just in case" type of club

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

Tsyni posted:

I like this, but I think we have a non-extreme chance to see if Ashera has any mustard. Let's do:

JR

Pray to Ashera, perform the divining ritual with the shark tooth.

Can we even climb up the trees? Bears and cougars can climb trees better than humans, so maybe these monsters can too.

Seconded

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Tsyni posted:

I like this, but I think we have a non-extreme chance to see if Ashera has any mustard. Let's do:

JR

Pray to Ashera, perform the divining ritual with the shark tooth.

Can we even climb up the trees? Bears and cougars can climb trees better than humans, so maybe these monsters can too.

Both these things occurred to me. Honestly I decided against the ritual because we really have no idea what we're doing, and if we get it wrong Danal could blame it on Ashera instead of our lack of abilities, thus making it harder to convert him later.

Climbing the tree sucks if we have bears as well...but, we'd be equally hosed on the ground with them. At least a tree would protect us against wild hogs and the like.

If we go for the shark tooth ritual though, I think we should include Danal. Tell him it's a very special secret ritual known only to heroes and swear him into the Ashera Secret ClubTM.

FoxTerrier fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Jun 8, 2013

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
I considered that too, but I figured that Danal can't understand us or what we're saying really, so if Ashera intervenes somehow and we need an excuse back at camp we can say we accidentally cut ourselves and brush it off.

Also, if it does work then maybe Danal will be interested in our cool shark tooth (or whatever it is) and we have an in that way. I guess I was just trying to work within the options to do the thing that would be most likely to grab Ashera's attention, without killing Danal.

Tsyni fucked around with this message at 15:39 on Jun 8, 2013

Genpei Turtle
Jul 20, 2007

Tsyni posted:

I like this, but I think we have a non-extreme chance to see if Ashera has any mustard. Let's do:

JR

Pray to Ashera, perform the divining ritual with the shark tooth.

Can we even climb up the trees? Bears and cougars can climb trees better than humans, so maybe these monsters can too.

I like this idea, it has my vote.

Somebody vote for BC or AD!. :downs:

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Tsyni posted:

I considered that too, but I figured that Danal can't understand us or what we're saying really, so if Ashera intervenes somehow and we need an excuse back at camp we can say we accidentally cut ourselves and brush it off.

Also, if it does work then maybe Danal will be interested in our cool shark tooth and we have an in that way. I guess I was just trying to work within the options to do the thing that would be most likely to grab Ashera's attention, without killing Danal.

Yeah...I guess we can figure out some way to spin it. If it doesn't work we can always tell Danal he didn't pray hard enough to Ashera. :smuggo:

Changing my vote to J + R.

Note to my R vote: I'd like to include Danal in the palm cutting and prayer to Ashera if possible. We tell him it's an introduction into a super secret club known only to heroes, and that Ashera is a mighty friend to heroes in need that will help us if we pray to him. (Or is this different enough that it needs to be a 'V' vote?)

FoxTerrier fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Jun 8, 2013

Kristopher
Jun 28, 2006
J+R. With any luck, the form Ashera's intervention will take will be people from Fish Town finding us.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug
Voting FI We are the elder and need to set an example of calm and bravery, but also poke our new god.


E: VOTE CHANGED

Arkanomen fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Jun 8, 2013

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Arkanomen posted:

Voting FIP We are the elder and need to set an example of calm and bravery. Grab a stick, try and make it sharp and pray to El to infuse it with his holy poking power.

Pick two please.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
I thought option 3 H won. Well, guess you guys looking for adventure found one.

FI

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

FoxTerrier posted:

Yeah...I guess we can figure out some way to spin it. If it doesn't work we can always tell Danal he didn't pray hard enough to Ashera. :smuggo:

Changing my vote to J + R.

Note to my R vote: I'd like to include Danal in the palm cutting and prayer to Ashera if possible. We tell him it's an introduction into a super secret club known only to heroes, and that Ashera is a mighty friend to heroes in need that will help us if we pray to him. (Or is this different enough that it needs to be a 'V' vote?)


JR!

Obviously these jerks won't let us sacrifice and eat a small child like we should. But we can at least potentially drat save his soul! And start setting up our cult...

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
Question: I thought we had a spear? We still have that?

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

Voting Plan JR

However, pray for guidance, or something else along those lines, since it's been established that Asherah isn't big on 'helping' his worshipers.

Or I suppose, depending on how he's feeling, his 'help' might take the form of wild animals being attracted by our blood and chasing us in the direction he wants us to go, or something.

alpaca diseases fucked around with this message at 16:30 on Jun 8, 2013

ShadowMoo
Mar 13, 2011

by Shine
T

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

quote:

OPTION A - Are going to be a hero just like Enkidu from your mother's stories! Grab the spear and head off with your new best friend to ADVENTURE!

OPTION C. Filled with wonder. You are in a forest similar yet different from where you were born and the symphony of night is strange and fascinating.

OPTION A. Right next to you, close, so you don't get separated.

OPTION C. You want to find ancient lost treasure!

Just to make sure I am tracking, the above is how we ended up here, isn't it? If so, how do we not have a spear?

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS
Grimey Drawer


Spreadsheet. Rememember, only 2 votes max.

Edit: Gonna vote NOT-J, NOT-R. Let's see if we can do this poo poo ourselves instead of running to gods every time poo poo even goes slightly pearshaped.

NO GODS OR KINGS

edit 2:
:siren: OPTIONS P AND Q HAVE BEEN REMOVED :siren:
If you voted for P or Q, change your vote!

Canuck-Errant fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Jun 8, 2013

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
Damage control mode: ON

Changing my vote to:
NOT J, NOT R

Task Manager
Sep 5, 2008

A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.
JE

I like testing Ashera's mustard in this situation by praying, but I don't think we're ever going to get a new convert in Danal one day if we start rambling, cutting ourselves and smearing blood all over. On top of scaring the poo poo out of a five year old kid who's already frightened, there's close to zero chance it actually works. We have no idea what actually went into the ritual.

Pray to the fish god, and look within. The last time we heard directly from Ashera was when we were in danger of drowning; I think there's got to be some chance he speaks to us when we're in danger, and if it actually works we can ease non-traumatized Danal into the ways of Ashera.

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

, lets be heroes! :v: Also yelling a lot may alert the adults, even if we make it part of the game. If nothing else, it'll keep Danal calm until we can think of something better to do.

Nettle Soup fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Jun 8, 2013

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Question: I thought we had a spear? We still have that?

EDIT: :siren: :siren: OPTION P AND Q WERE REMOVED. Your sleep deprived, post-flood narrator neglected an important detail making them moot. :siren: :siren:

You still have the spear you took with you, though it is larger and heavier than the sort you used for fishing.

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


TU

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.
My vote goes to L x 2 I guess; pray to our namesake and get this whole hero thing started in earnest.

edit: actually, make that U x 2.

A RICH WHITE MAN fucked around with this message at 16:53 on Jun 8, 2013

Raserys
Aug 22, 2011

IT'S YA BOY
Almost forgot we had these!

and NOT-R

gently caress Asherah, he sucks.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
E x 2

We can't count past ten, but we should be able to remember the general direction we came in...

Tudhalias
Sep 7, 2009
T and NOT-R.

Absum
May 28, 2013

and

BHB
Aug 28, 2011

Watuhboy posted:

Voting option Q. :black101:

Guess I'll change this to F and O

Random Idiot
Mar 15, 2001
I'm all for fishgod, but fishdad beat Og for loving up fish rituals for a reason. I'll vote JJ to help keep down the haters.

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
I'm going to go with MO. Climbing a tree to try and get directional bearings seems like a clever-ish idea, and bringing up Danal with us ensures he won't be mauled while we're at it. Maybe there are beasts in the trees, but there's no greater chance of that than beasts on the ground. It's also not an idea that requires too much forethought or design, which means our ADD character ought to be fine with it.

I don't like JR at the moment, as praying to Asherah for personal help never seemed like his sort of deal, and I don't want to arouse suspicion by being found, or walking back to camp, covered in blood wielding the symbol of another God, but I might switch to it if MO gets no traction and it has a good chance.

Changed vote.

Theglavwen fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Jun 8, 2013

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
Our dad was a primitive, abusive guy. It's not clear he had all the answers about Ashera. It's dark, and we're not slitting our wrists here, just a bit of blood to smear on the shells. I think the truth is we don't know what's what when it comes to Ashera and this is a chance to see if it's a viable path. We're already lost in the woods.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Any idea how long the vote will stay open? For now:

U We are heroes!
Of course, this is a lie and we know it is a lie, but we need Danal quiet and not dissolving into an immobile, terrified blob. We are looking for the club! we came out here to heroically find treasure! End however we communicate this to him by indicating quite, still, attention... Watchful heroes.

Edit: in our current condition, with respect to Danal this is heroic.

V Do something else.
1- use the spear to make a blaze on the closest tree to mark where we first got lost
2- stop and listen. We have been walking 'perhaps an hour', in the dark, with a five year old, in a forest. We have probably not been going in a straight line. We are not far away from where we started. We have seen footprints in the sand many times in our life. Look to see if there is enough moonlight to reveal at least our most recent tracks.

The problem with tree climbing is that we abandon our weapon. The problem with blood rites is that we are most likely to attract predators rather than gods. You have to create a spot that functions as an altar for such things.

Btw, is fire making among our many amazing skills?

Sogol fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Jun 8, 2013

Random Idiot
Mar 15, 2001

Tsyni posted:

Our dad was a primitive, abusive guy. It's not clear he had all the answers about Ashera.

Yeah the priest who only ever abused anyone who was offending fishgod and could SHOOT FISH LIGHTNING clearly has no idea how to propitiate fishgod.

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A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe
Voting for IU.

We tell Danal that we have come to a strange place, but it's not really scary because we're still Enkidu and Labaras; we just need a little bit of El's guidance and support right now. We are still heroes and must be brave, but we're going to start "playing" our way back toward camp.

Hopefully that calms him down without showing how afraid we are, too.

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