Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens - Choose Your Own Adventure

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens - Choose Your Own Adventure

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jng2058: Jul 17, 2010; We have the tools, we have the talent!

Asherah Lives!

# ? Jun 8, 2013 18:23

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:14

Cat Wings: Oct 12, 2012

# ? Jun 8, 2013 18:40

Raserys: Aug 22, 2011; IT'S YA BOY

To think this all could have been avoided if we spent more time with Pagam.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 18:41

JT Jag: Aug 30, 2009; #1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver

# ? Jun 8, 2013 18:45

BoyG: Nov 24, 2004; Have you heard the tale of the Cannibal King of Kavodel?

J + R

# ? Jun 8, 2013 18:56

Schizotek: Nov 8, 2011; I say, hey, listen to me!
Stay sane inside insanity!!!

Can we at least try to survive to being a teen before we commit suicide in the stupidest fashion possible? This is vomiting Kadai up all over again.

E + F

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:03

Khris Kruel: Nov 5, 2003; Ask me about being a SJW in EE and working to make anyone who disagrees with me a villain and gets no opportunity to defend themselves at all because my army or sycophants I buy off with pixels follows me blindly.

I'm pretty sure we've abandoned our father's rituals as hokey, and all we know is that turns us into lightning spewing demons. That wont help us right now.

Monsters in the dark feed on fear, so lets attempt to calm the kid next to us down. Also apparently mysticism is prevalent although we don't know the rules, so lets chsnnel our willpower like we've seen from our father and tudiya do to get him to calm down. Then climb a tree to get our bearings.

vote: F, M

Khris Kruel fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Jun 8, 2013

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:07

ConfusedPig: Mar 27, 2013

and

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:12

A RICH WHITE MAN: Jul 30, 2010; See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.

In the interests of Fish Loyalty, I'm changing my vote to the J+R Tide.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:17

rex monday: Jul 9, 2001; Pisk. Pisk. Piiiiiiisk!

J&R

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:23

Trundel: Mar 13, 2005; + =
- a sound investment!

F&I, I'm all for Ashera, the sea and all, but nothing we learned about our great fish god said anything about cutting the throats of children or about navigating in a Monster-filled woods. Even if I still beleive in Ashera he doesn't give a toss about the land, so let's grab a hold of Danal and pray to El for help. Hopefully the act of prayer will calm him down and at least give us the chance to readjust to the situation.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:34

EVG: Dec 17, 2005; If I Saw It, Here's How It Happened.

F, I.

Try to calm Danal and pray to El for guidance.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:40

Clockwork Gadget: Oct 30, 2008; tick tock

~~Not J, Not R.~~

Clockwork Gadget fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Jun 9, 2013

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:43

OhYo: Apr 14, 2006

Edit:

Changed vote: Not-J and Not-J

Changed from not-J and I.
Hoping I, F and U win.
Updated my previous post.

OhYo fucked around with this message at 00:54 on Jun 9, 2013

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:47

Mr Apollo: Jan 1, 2013

and

Above all, don't panic.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:49

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

Just a recap to people thinking praying or letting out blood is going to make Asherah help us:

Diogines posted:

Not smiting demons, no. He is not a god to help you, but to punish you if you disobey. Either the fish will go away and you will starve, or be hit by a storm. It is well known that Asherah will punish your village if you disobey.

However, Here are the three creation stories that we have heard so far:

The one listed in the OP:

Diogines posted:

"In the beginning there was naught but the Creator who dwelt in void and sat in silence".

"On the First Day the Creator crafted the Heavens and used his flesh to fill Heaven with Angels and, it was good."

"On the Second Day the Creator reached into his flesh and crafted a new place. Over it was placed the sky and beneath, land and what lay between was filled with water and, it was good."

"On the Third day the Creator spoke not a word, but beckoned his angels unto Ur and so they went and there they crafted creatures of the land and sea and sky. Life covered the world and, it was good."

"On the Fourth day the Creator again reached into his flesh and crafted ten men and ten women. The Creator placed them upon the world and, it was good."

"On the Fifth day, man covered the world."

"On the Sixth Day..."

The story of Asherah Sushem taught us:

Diogines posted:

"In the beginning, Asherah swam through the waters and His Hunger was Great as he swam through the deep.

Where Asherah beat his tail the waters were deepened and where he lifted up his tail, rose land. Where he splashed water high was made the sky, stars and moon and sun.

And His Hunger was Great as he swam through the deep.

Where Asherah lowered his fins, came the plants of the sea and where he raised them came the plants of the land.

And His Hunger was Great as he swam through the deep.

Asherah cast forth his seed unto the waters and made the Great Fish and their names are Ninveh, Yamsef, Daam, Keenem, Nagaal, Faram, Smis, Adom, Jaar, Xural, Amal, Menl, Garal and Ophama.

And His Hunger was Great as he swam through the deep.

Asherah ate the flesh of his sons and daughters and the flesh of their sons and daughters.

And His Hunger was Great as he swam through the deep.

Asherah cast his seed upon the land and where it landed came our fathers.

And His Hunger was Great as he swam through the deep."

The story Tudiya told us tonight:

Diogines posted:

"In the beginning there was naught but El who dwelt in void and sat in silence.

On the First Day El crafted Heaven and filled Heaven with Angels. The Angels sung the glories of El and, it was good.

On the Second Day El crafted a new place. Over it was placed the sky and beneath, land and what lay between was filled with water and, it was good.

On the Third day El waived His hand across the world and where it passed came plants of every sort and the creatures of the land and sea and sky and, it was good."

"On the Fourth day the Angels descended upon the world to slay Leviathan, Dragoom, Quetzatl, Ogar and Asharak to prepare the way for what was to come and, it was good.

On the fifth day El reached into his flesh and placed a man and a woman upon the world and, it was good.

On the sixth day, man covered the world and prayed to the sun and moon and stars and to the beasts of the field.

"On the seventh day was born Labaras and, it was good.

On the eighth day Labaras turned his back upon the sun, moon, stars and beasts of the field and left the tents of his fathers to search for El and, it was good.

On the ninth day, Labaras spoke with El and raised up the House of El and, it was good.

On the tenth day, El rested."

I think praying to both is the best choice we have for right now, until whomever decides to contact us. I don't think its a coincidence that the creation stories are so similar. The Asherah/El story may come from the same source.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:51

RandomPauI: Nov 24, 2006; Grimey Drawer

Calm the Kid
Pray: We are lost. If any god is listening give me a sign

# ? Jun 8, 2013 19:56

Sogol: Apr 11, 2013; Galileo's Finger

Best way to calm the kid is U.

Totals on the spreadsheet seem off.

Sogol fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Jun 8, 2013

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:00

Deadly Ham Sandwich: Aug 19, 2009; Smellrose

A Terrible Person posted:

Voting for IU.

Ditto

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:08

Half-wit: Aug 31, 2005; Half a wit more than baby Asahel, or half a wit less? You decide.

J + R Either Ashera helps us now; or we should seriously consider not worshipping Ashera from this point forward.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:11

Tsyni: Sep 1, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

Half-wit posted:

J + R Either Ashera helps us now; or we should seriously consider not worshipping Ashera from this point forward.

This is aligned with my thinking. We need a sign of some sort that Ashera accepts us.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:23

Raserys: Aug 22, 2011; IT'S YA BOY

Asherah is an ocean god. If we pray to a fishgod in the middle of the forest, the outcomes will range from "nothing at all" to "struck by lightning", and it's not like Asherah has ever helped anyone directly.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:23

Snow Job: May 24, 2006

So coming out here was pretty loving dumb, but we're 11 so El probably doesn't immediately hate us for doing this.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:25

Canuck-Errant: Oct 28, 2003; MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS; Grimey Drawer

Fixed the discrepancies in the spreadsheet: my formulas were only set up to count single votes :downs:

Also added links to the vote icons for normal votes, negative votes, and Asherah votes :v:

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:41

dyzzy: Dec 22, 2009; argh

Changing vote from 2x E to 2x not R

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:48

michael knight: Oct 16, 2003; I love pubbies!

E + F

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:50

FoxTerrier: Feb 15, 2012; Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

dyzzy posted:

Changing vote from 2x E to 2x not R

Can we 2x votes?

# ? Jun 8, 2013 20:54

treasured8elief: Jul 25, 2011; Salad Prong

Doublevoting for ~~NOT R, NOT R~~.

e: changed quickly, sorry

e2: I didnt know how to read the spreadsheet, changed my vote back to what it was below.

treasured8elief fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Jun 8, 2013

# ? Jun 8, 2013 21:12

Walrusmaster: Sep 21, 2009

Voting not J not R.

How exactly would shooting lightning help us at all? Assuming that we could figure it out.

The fish god is a worthless god, easily defeated by the king. I don't understand why people are clinging to a god that has literally never helped us.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 21:12

treasured8elief: Jul 25, 2011; Salad Prong

toxic8aker posted:

Doublevoting for ~~NOT R, NOT R~~.

e: changed quickly, sorry

e2: I didnt know how to read the spreadsheet, changed my vote back to what it was below.

Changing my vote back to doublevote NOT J, NOT J.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 21:17

GloriousDemon: May 1, 2009

He may not be the god to help you, but he still may have power we can forcibly use. I think Asherah is Leviathan, meaning he's a dead old god killed by the angels, but like defeated titans, demon's, and your biblical monsters they never stay all the way dead and are always imprisoned and slumbering for the culture's doomsday warning, or volcano allegories, in our friend Asherah's case typhoons. What we have in our hands is a chunk of an uncaring, lazy but mondo powerful monstrosity that doesn't give a drat if we pray to it or use it like a tool.

Slightly relevant biblical Leviathan quotes: The sword that reaches him has no effect, nor does the spear or the dart or the javelin.
Iron he treats like straw and bronze like rotten wood. Nothing on earth is his equal�a creature without fear.
Just don't get bisected, we're on highlander invulnerability rules here people!

~~Voting E that we try and remember our way back, and Voting R that we fish magic up our way back as well.~~

I'm just worried that someone Barkof, come on you know the King's aid is gonna be a crazy ninja is gonna be witness to our heathen magic.

...Told y'all we get lost!

EDIT VOTING DOUBLE R since people are making double votes now I guess?!

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Jun 8, 2013

# ? Jun 8, 2013 21:19

dyzzy: Dec 22, 2009; argh

FoxTerrier posted:

Can we 2x votes?

GloriousDemon posted:

EDIT VOTING DOUBLE R since people are making double votes now I guess?!

It's in the update folks!

I guess I am OK with praying to Ashera, but trying to do a ritual will be pointless at best and life-threatening at worst, imo. Whatever happens I will be fine just burying option R.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 21:27

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

I will update at some point tonight.

right now F - Calm down Danal and J - Pray to Asherah are winning.

Anyone who wants to change their vote can, but as usual, please do so by making a new post, don't just edit your old one or it may not be seen.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 21:51

Dammerung: Oct 17, 2008; "Dang, that's hot."

F and I: Calm Danal down, and see if El can help us out!

# ? Jun 8, 2013 22:05

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

# ? Jun 8, 2013 22:34

Zybourne Clock: Oct 25, 2011; Poke me.

Right now I'm voting for I twice, but that will likely change depending on the outcome of this question:

Diogines, what's the current season?

# ? Jun 8, 2013 22:38

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Summer.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 22:44

Theglavwen: Jun 10, 2006; Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Alright, why not, changing my vote to JR. I still think, personally, it's rather silly, Asherah doesn't provide personal help, and we're nowhere near its domain. That being said though, it's exactly the sort of move our character would make, given his choices so far, and falling back on the default beliefs you were brought up with, in a time of panic and need, seems to make sense.

Might be interesting at least to see if anything at all happens. I doubt it though. And the El-supporters should be happy about that, seeing as it might support not turning to Asherah in the future, or trying out El next.

Still worried about how we're going to explain it to Danal/others when we come back with a big gash on our hand. Seems like King Handsome might be the sort to detect lies.

# ? Jun 8, 2013 22:47

Pththya-lyi: Nov 8, 2009; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Not R x2

# ? Jun 8, 2013 22:49

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:14

Tsyni: Sep 1, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

I think Asherah supporters are going to have to focus on J or R because F and I have 15, J and R have 10/9.

In a reconciliatory move I am going to change my vote to JJ, the least controversial Asherah supporting option. Let's just see if Asherah does anything, hey? Though I feel like the JR tandem would have the most efficacy, but...options seem limited.

Question for Diogines: What time zone are you in? Just wondering what to base "tonight" on when you say it.

Edit: We were raised for the HUGE majority of our life under Asherah. Our father was the priest of Asherah. It doesn't seem so far fetched to fall back on that in this moment of panic. I didn't want to adventure with two pre-pubescent boys in the forest, but here we are.

Tsyni fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Jun 8, 2013

# ? Jun 8, 2013 22:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens - Choose Your Own Adventure

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