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This thread is dope and I'll be entering once I'm back from vacation. But just to check, are there any rules against stories in verse a la Autobiography of Red (Anne Carson)? I'll need to review the rules before entering, of course. And even then need some hand holding. Thanks and stay brave. edit: New page. I know this is a fiction thread but gently caress it here's a link to probably my favorite poem. Consolation prize. You know. http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/20521 Gaston Bachelard fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Jun 11, 2013 |
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Jun 11, 2013 04:17
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It's all a personal preference, really. Most people don't hate the judges THAT much but it's your call.
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Jun 11, 2013 04:24
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Right on. Thanks bud.
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Jun 11, 2013 04:29
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Bachelard rear end posted:This thread is dope and I'll be entering once I'm back from vacation. But just to check, are there any rules against stories in verse a la Autobiography of Red (Anne Carson)? I'll need to review the rules before entering, of course. And even then need some hand holding. Thanks and stay brave. Check back to the beginning of this thread for more dreadful poetry than your eyes will likely be able to bear. The rules are you read the prompt, then you post your piece, then the judge gives you a humiliating avatar. It's not for chat, though you can always crit someone else's work.
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Jun 11, 2013 05:44
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Also, when the judges take too long you tell them to WAKE THE gently caress UP
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Jun 11, 2013 11:57
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Relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBpDO45cJms
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Jun 11, 2013 13:54
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You didn't post in the IDR fanfic thread. <  >
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Jun 11, 2013 14:15
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I had a pretty rough weekend but the long and short of it is that we just only got confirmation yesterday that my sister does not have cancer, sorry 
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Jun 11, 2013 14:34
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EDIT: TL;DR Winner is Sebmojo but Kaishai wrote a good story too. Loser is Voliun but Peel is drat lucky. ANOTHER EDIT: Oh I forgot to mention, there were a number of non submissions and while of course all of them have brought shame upon their children and their children's children and soforth, ultrachrist used as his excuse the nonsensical idea that Australia Time is dumb, so he's the biggest loser of all. Sebmojo is the winner by virtue of he made me laugh and he called his protagonist Bruce Dennis and there was a wagon in the story, which was good. It felt like you were pandering a bit to your audience of me, but as it happens I'm totally all right with that. Also good was Kaishai who also kind of pandered to Things That I Like but probably without knowing it, and some other people were OK I guess but those two were the stand outs. So Sebmojo give us a prompt you jerk, and hey Kaishai you should judge this next round as well IMO. And I dunno, Seb/Kai pick one more judge between the two of you whatever. The worst was oh my goodness so many of you and that doesn't even count the ones that only had time to write half a story before the deadline because at least they were mercifully short. Let's start from the top and I'll tell you why all of your stories were bad. Now, one of my rules was that you would not include any Biblical characters. With that in mind, straight out of the gate Nikaer Drekin, straight out of the gate changing Joseph's name to Josephine and then leaving every other element of the story the same. Lesson learned, Chairchucker, don't give them a verse with any kind of a narrative as inspiration, or they'll just retell the story in space and call that inspiration. Yes I know I had 'plagiarise' in there crossed out but that was a joke and you weren't actually suppos- OK never mind, you didn't win but you weren't the worst. Erogenous Beef, I enjoyed the jokes in this, even though, again, you were clearly pandering to me and my wholly deserved reputation of liking silly humour and puns, but at times I found the plot incoherent and difficult to follow. Having said that, no story with a cat named Bark Doggington will ever be in the losing half of the field on my watch. Ceighk. You didn't even bother to change Samson's name. What the hell. And literal mechanical firebreathing foxes, really? Like, just take a theme or something as inspiration, I dunno. Not the worst or ever in real contention for worst though. Schneider Heim. My other judge kind of liked this one. I didn't. Didn't really feel like it went anywhere. Kinda liked the description of space Mah Jong I guess. That worked. FBH991. This had a chance of losing, not because it was completely horrific but because there were plenty of spelling errors and too much telling and no showing. Like, you even skipped over some conversation in favour of saying 'I informed her of these things' which sometimes works for stylistic reasons but doesn't here. Next time give us some action instead of telling us that once, long ago, a thing happened. Found Sound. This was creepy as hell and better than any of the things I read before it. Also points for being creepy in a less awful way than might reasonably have happened given the prompt. Maybe a little too abstract I dunno. Walamor. Pretty good, but again suffered a little bit from almost being the narrative translated into space. Haitian Divorce. Same literal translation grievances as above but overall enjoyable and competent and you didn't call him Samson, so there's that. Kaishai. May have had an unfair advantage because of the more abstract nature of your passage thus not letting you just rewrite a narrative, but whatevs. The symbolism of new song/vocal chords ripped out was good, as was gradual thematic shift. Really dug the ending. Really liked it in general. Having said that, it contained a Justiciar which seems to be a thing in sci-fi things now, I don't much care for that. Sebmojo. I already talked about this before but I liked the pun in the title, didn't pick that up before. Symptomless Coma. This story's a bit messy. Too many double punctuation marks next to quotation marks. And I couldn't really tell what was going on. And the spoiler text revelation didn't help that much. Auraboks. I kinda liked this one mostly because the method of beating the city was pretty clever, and for some reason I didn't pick the ending at all. Pretty decent. Peel. I hate to discourage experimental writing styles or whatever but I couldn't get into this at all. Completely impenetrable. No Sir, I don't like it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDGlN6mluGA Wrageowrapper. I did not care for this story. Too much heavy handed ye olde biblical stuff for no apparent reason. And then the pay off at the end with everyone wanting to rescue the hookers is kind of lame and also didn't work because somehow there was like a billion people on the radio to them whereas previously they'd just been getting shot down by one guy. Also some spelling errors like your you're that should never be made. Fumblemouse. Did the whole weird alien crap thing pretty decently. Did however name someone Dagon, hey everyone when I tell you not to have any Biblical characters in your story, stop naming your characters after the characters from the verses I gave you, you jerks. Surreptitious Muffin. I actually enjoyed this a whole lot and it made me laugh too, it was just not quite as good as the ones that won, also I think there were some spelling errors and they always hurt my heart when I come across them so there's that. Fix that and it could've been a contender if I was the only person you had to please because I eat up that kind of tone, and I think you know it like the other panderers. Voliun. Spelling errors and a mildly incoherent plot that was hard to follow and not being very good. By itself not necessarily completely damning, especially in this week's company, but your protagonist has an apostrophe in its name so you're the loser. Bad Seafood. This was pretty good even though all that happened was they found a corpse and the Chaplain was a softie and wanted to throw it back. While I am generally of the school of thought that narrative exposition is awful unless done in an intentional over the top and humorous way, I found myself wanting to know why they were draining the ocean. And also where the heck they were putting all that water. Was it like Waterworld in reverse and they were building large ice mountains at the poles? Anyway. Decent IMO. asap-salafi. The only real problem I have with this one is that you turned a story of rape, betrayal and revenge into a story of a diplomat making a phone call. JonasSalk. As I mentioned to you earlier, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5Tow84PrLY&t=1m46s Sitting Here. Your half of a story was better than some full stories and less impenetrable than Peel's whatever that was, so good on you. Next time please write two halves I guess. And that's everyone. HEY SEBMOJO WHERE'S OUR PROMPT. Chairchucker fucked around with this message at 14:52 on Jun 11, 2013 |
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Jun 11, 2013 14:38
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Oh man, I cannot wait for the next round! I'm gonna jump in balls deep with no regard for my own safety.
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Jun 11, 2013 19:02
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balls deep in the butt no less
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Jun 11, 2013 20:57
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 Thunderdome Round 34That Prisoners call the Sky Right you useless assortment of jackoffs and fuckarounds the judge throne has had some regrettable renovations since last I planted my rear end in it. This has made me angry. There's tinsel all over the skulls and a half-empty can of VB on the arm poo poo chairchucker how do you even drink that stuff. This week you are going to pick an Oscar Wilde quote from here and make a story round it. Wilde was hilarious but he had some pretty tragic poo poo happen to him. So your story must be either tragedy, or comedy. And don't tell me which, for gods sake, if I can't tell from reading it then you've failed. Enter by: Friday, midnight, US EST Submit by: Sunday, midnight, US EST Length: 1200 words max Judges: Kaishai, me Flash rules will be assigned according to judge whim, and if you don't pick a quote we'll give you one. IN: Mercedes Your story must have a character who waited too long. Asap-Salafi Crabrock magnificent7 Voliun Found Sound Walamor Mercedes Ceighk Fumblemouse I cheat to win PotatoManJack Accretionist JonasSalk Duplication must play a role in your story. Nikaer Drekin toanoradian A misspelling must play a crucial role in either the comedy or the tragedy of your piece. Sitting Here Your story must include an entrepreneur. Preferably a billionaire. Jopoho Nubile Hillock Martello Pirates, dogs. Auraboks Schneider Heim Posh Alligator Your story must be in second person and someone in your story must make an important decision. Dr Kloctopussy Your story must be set under the sea and one of your characters should be remarkably polite. Draxamus sebmojo fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Jun 15, 2013 |
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Jun 11, 2013 22:10
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In before I can change my mind.quote:He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends asap-salafi fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Jun 11, 2013 |
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Jun 11, 2013 22:18
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if we can't find any good oscar wilde quotes can we pick one by olivia wilde? hopefully I won't be a huge idiot and get so drunk that I have a 2 day hangover. In with: "I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."
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Jun 11, 2013 22:36
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I'm in. Delightfully in with my favorite quote of all time. "Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."
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Jun 11, 2013 22:48
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In it with this: "No man is rich enough to buy back his past"
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Jun 11, 2013 22:52
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In. "A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it."
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Jun 11, 2013 22:55
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In. "Those whom the gods love grow young."
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Jun 11, 2013 23:11
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In. "True friends stab you in the front."
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Jun 11, 2013 23:28
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In. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
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Jun 11, 2013 23:46
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Also, Kaishai drop me an email at my secret mountain redoubt so we can coordinate assigning viciously unfair flash rules.
sebmojo fucked around with this message at 00:18 on Jun 12, 2013 |
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Jun 11, 2013 23:50
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In. quote:Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
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Jun 12, 2013 00:03
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sebmojo posted:Also, Kaishai drop me an email at jimbowardo at gmail so we can coordinate assigning viciously unfair flash rules. Should we wait until you give out flash rules before we start writing?
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Jun 12, 2013 00:05
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In.quote:
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Jun 12, 2013 00:15
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In: The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.
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Jun 12, 2013 00:22
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Mercedes posted:Should we wait until you give out flash rules before we start writing? You should do whatever your heart tells you. We're just going to throw them out there when we feel like it, up to the deadline for entry. For instance, Flash Rule your story must have a character who waited too long.
sebmojo fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Jun 12, 2013 |
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Jun 12, 2013 00:23
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In Quote: "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future." Let's do this thing
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Jun 12, 2013 01:39
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In: "In married life three is company and two none."
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Jun 12, 2013 01:49
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In: "No man is rich enough to buy back his past."
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Jun 12, 2013 02:42
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JonasSalk posted:In: "No man is rich enough to buy back his past." As you are the first to claim a quote someone else has also chosen, I give you a Flash Rule: Duplication must play a role in your story.
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Jun 12, 2013 02:50
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“Okay,” said Lucy, “this is how it’s going to happen. You turn all the lights on in this place and get your ‘fellows’ to stand down. Otherwise, this stake gets shoved through your heart and your people are minus one leader. Got it?” “Of course. There is one option I think you missed, though. Why don’t you show her, my fellows?” A plasma shot came from straight ahead and smacked into Lucy’s hand. The pencil burst instantly and her hand felt like it had been shoved straight into a furnace. She screamed in pain as the Vampire Lord whipped around and grabbed her by the throat. “To be entirely honest,” he droned with a smirk, “You should have picked a weapon with a little more potency. I don’t think pencils quite count as stakes.” He dropped her to the ground, and suddenly the room flooded with blue light. Ranks of Vampires armed with plasma rifles were scattered all around the antechamber. Their Lord turned and said to them, “My dear brothers and sisters, we have conquered this intruder and, as a reward for our resilience, have two beings full of life to feed on. Truly we have much to be thankful for. Now, let’s get out of here so that the ceremony can commence!” A great cheer rose up, and the whole asteroid began to hum with power. Lucy had her eyes closed from the pain, but opened them with a start when she felt something brush her shoulder. Her uncle was half-awake, looking down at her with sadness etched into his face. She lifted up her good hand and took his, gripping it tight as the asteroid broke from its orbit and shot into superlight, carrying them far from the Oxford, far from anyone but each other. Nikaer Drekin fucked around with this message at 05:14 on Jul 15, 2013 |
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Jun 12, 2013 02:58
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Hello, Thunderdome. In it to sloppily half-rear end it. You only allow one source, so I'll be using that source and only that. I don't care if the quote's not real. toanoradian fucked around with this message at 03:14 on Jun 12, 2013 |
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Jun 12, 2013 03:10
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sebmojo posted:You should do whatever your heart tells you. We're just going to throw them out there when we feel like it, up to the deadline for entry. Bring it on motherfucker!
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Jun 12, 2013 05:10
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I'm in. But I can't decide on a quote, so give me a good one.
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Jun 12, 2013 06:47
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Sitting Here posted:I'm in. But I can't decide on a quote, so give me a good one. "I love stories about talking pigs so I wrote one and here it is" - Oscar Wilde E: alternatively, if you hate things that are excellent: quote:Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more. sebmojo fucked around with this message at 06:59 on Jun 12, 2013 |
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Jun 12, 2013 06:56
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In with "Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives."
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Jun 12, 2013 07:18
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toanoradian posted:Hello, Thunderdome. In it to sloppily half-rear end it. Flash Rule: a misspelling must play a crucial role in either the comedy or the tragedy of your piece.
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Jun 12, 2013 09:15
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In. "True friends stab you in the front." I don't care if Mercedes is already doing it, because 
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Jun 12, 2013 11:53
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In. "Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong."
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Jun 12, 2013 15:46
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I'm in. Quote is "Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes."
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Jun 12, 2013 17:39
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