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I foresee possibly a problem with the Uroclub..... for some of us guys.  !!NWS!! - Uroclub in action - !!NWS!!
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Jul 5, 2013 09:14
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 19:14 |
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:And I've always loved this one since the Mom doesn't actually spill any soda. I think last time that one showed up we theorized she must be a Ghost Mom. Sash! posted:So, uh, here's a thing Somehow I remember something like that appearing on that short lived American Inventor show in the mid-2000s, the same show that brought us Bulletball. raditts fucked around with this message at 15:12 on Jul 5, 2013 |
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Jul 5, 2013 15:07
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Capn Beeb posted:
There's mom, towing in the monthly payslip to feed her family. She was called in by her boss today and informed she'd be taking a pay cut, meaning dad would have to go out on the game again. Having been taken aside for so long, she finally excused herself and heaved herself into the car, making sure the tears stinging her eyes didn't mess up her eyeliner in the rearview mirror. Having no time to cook, she decided to try and lighten up the night, despite the hardship to come, by bringing home a family sized pizza with an assortment of toppings she was sure the kids, her babies Buster and Lizzie would like. However, when she returned she found the entire family sitting around the dining table ready to tuck into some Chinese food. Not to be disheartened, she opened up the box and plastered a little smile onto her face which dissolved into confusion and pain as soon as the cheesy cardboard met wood. "What the gently caress mom?" shouted young Buster "Pizza and Chinese food?" "I want a divorce. I can't take it anymore, Sally." said Paul, her husband of seven years as he stared into her destroyed visage with pure contempt. Mom stepped back, raising her arms in a futile protest. As the four way verbal beatdown wound down, Sally left the house, flew off to the Bahamas and lived happily ever after. (What a bunch of ungrateful shits. Power to you, mom.)
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Jul 5, 2013 15:56
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raditts posted:Somehow I remember something like that appearing on that short lived American Inventor show in the mid-2000s, the same show that brought us Bulletball. Bulletball is something will never be forgotten. It is not only an incredibly tragic story, but at the same time, an immensely hilarious and confusing one. And who could ever forget the Bulletball theme? My god, that theme. (For those not wise the the story of Bulletball, I ask that you set aside 5 and a half minutes of your lives, and watch this clip in it's entirety) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOOw2yWMSfk Look upon his works, ye mighty, and despair.
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Jul 5, 2013 16:05
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What I don't get is why those guys in the commercial have the club but are peeing into the trees anyway. "Don't mind me, I may look like I'm peeing, but I definitely am not. Nope, no chance. I'm totally lining up a shot, guys, the ball went right next to this tree. See I have my club! Yeah, what a coincidence, standing still in front of a tree but NOT peeing, haha. Ok hold on...there. Oh wait guys my ball isn't by this tree at all! I could have sworn it was!" The problem with that club, or rather a problem, is that I can just imagine someone forgetting to screw on the top completely and it just splashing out all over his arms once he swings.
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Jul 5, 2013 16:05
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I just realized the top of the box is cut off...why for?
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Jul 5, 2013 16:30
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Why wouldn't you just pee in the woods anyway? That's one of the best parts of playing golf.
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Jul 5, 2013 17:26
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The Human Cow posted:Why wouldn't you just pee in the woods anyway? That's one of the best parts of playing golf. Better than pulling out your johnson & pissing right in front of a bunch of people who have no clue? I doubt that.
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Jul 5, 2013 17:30
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The Human Cow posted:Why wouldn't you just pee in the woods anyway? That's one of the best parts of playing golf. Well you saw those three guys peeing side-by-side didn't you? You can't have other dudes looking at your junk while you're taking a leak, bro. That's how pornos start. 
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Jul 5, 2013 18:30
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Andorra posted:
I don't think that you're actually supposed to use that club to play the game. It's just a plastic storage reservoir that looks like a club. It probably wouldn't even work very well. Then again what do I know about golf technology? Maybe the urine-filled club shaft is the hottest new thing. Adds yards to your drive! e: wait, I just had an idea! Sell the UroClub with the special UroClub wheelie golf bag. When you're done using the UroClub, place it in the special designated spot in the bag. A check valve in the club locks into an internal pipe system in the bottom. When you start to roll the bag forwards, a discrete perforated hose invisibly distributes the urine onto the golf course, preparing the UroClub for the next use. © 2013 Sagebrush don't steal Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Jul 5, 2013 |
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Jul 5, 2013 19:03
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Sagebrush posted:I don't think that you're actually supposed to use that club to play the game. It's just a plastic storage reservoir that looks like a club. It probably wouldn't even work very well. Yeah the idea is to take out this lovely looking club that doesn't look like anything else in your bag, put it under your little bib thing, jiggle it around a little while covertly unscrewing the cap and inserting your penis, spend a minute or two (or more considering its marketed towards olds) just standing there pretending to line up your shot while an odd sound of liquid filling a container is present, then jiggle around a little more to get those extra drips of pee out and screwing the cap back on, after that all you have to do is put this club back in your bag, get out your other club and take the shot in half a second. Easy! Why wouldn't that look normal?
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Jul 5, 2013 19:08
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I think that of the old people I know, about half would think it was a dumb idea, and half just don't give a poo poo what other people think and would love it and buy them for all their friends. You just need to golf only with other people who also own UroClubs. Then you can all piss into your golf clubs simultaneously, while the group behind you looks on in confusion.
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Jul 5, 2013 19:12
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Have there been any cases of smuggling using the UroClub? I could see that happening.
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Jul 5, 2013 19:46
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Sagebrush posted:I think that of the old people I know, about half would think it was a dumb idea, and half just don't give a poo poo what other people think and would love it and buy them for all their friends. You just need to golf only with other people who also own UroClubs. Then you can all piss into your golf clubs simultaneously, while the group behind you looks on in confusion. I'm acquainted the other kind of old man: the one that sounds like he's always talking in all caps and can be heard from 200 yards away at his "indoor voice" level. He'd have no problem pissing on any random tree at any time, then question why you'd have a problem with it and likely accuse you of being a homosexual for watching him in the first place.
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Jul 5, 2013 21:11
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Gonz posted:Bulletball is something will never be forgotten. It is not only an incredibly tragic story, but at the same time, an immensely hilarious and confusing one. And who could ever forget the Bulletball theme? My god, that theme. I loved how Bulletball rated a quasi-reference on an episode of Adventure Time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwWjQTX3CLg Bulletball truly changes the lives of all who gaze upon it.
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Jul 5, 2013 23:27
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http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7VPa/sea-bond-denture-adhesive-wafers I have no idea why but this stupidly makes me laugh to no end. The puppet/character looks like something Lowtax and Shmorky created during a night of heavy drinking, mushrooms and other things that would have left them inebriated.
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Jul 6, 2013 00:25
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FuzzySkinner posted:http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7VPa/sea-bond-denture-adhesive-wafers Huh, I always wondered what happened to the Bobbin Bros.
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Jul 6, 2013 00:55
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Andorra posted:Have there been any cases of smuggling using the UroClub? I could see that happening. Fill the Uroclub with your liquor of choice for some super sneaky flask action. Take that, overpriced clubhouse watering hole  edit: I'd also like to see a Uroclub converted into a bong The Duke fucked around with this message at 03:46 on Jul 6, 2013 |
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Jul 6, 2013 03:44
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The Duke posted:Fill the Uroclub with your liquor of choice for some super sneaky flask action. Take that, overpriced clubhouse watering hole Just make sure that none of your other golfing buddies use one and keep yours in sight at all times.
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Jul 6, 2013 05:04
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The Duke posted:Fill the Uroclub with your liquor of choice for some super sneaky flask action. Take that, overpriced clubhouse watering hole The best part is we probably all know people who'd totally jump on that poo poo. Like people who sneak snacks into the movie theatre.
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Jul 6, 2013 05:07
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The new fresh and easy commercials.. love? Hate? Moatly hate but the whole "f'n easy way" part took me a bit by surprise... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt81i01sIvM
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Jul 6, 2013 15:13
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piratepilates posted:Yeah the idea is to take out this lovely looking club that doesn't look like anything else in your bag, put it under your little bib thing, jiggle it around a little while covertly unscrewing the cap and inserting your penis, spend a minute or two (or more considering its marketed towards olds) just standing there pretending to line up your shot while an odd sound of liquid filling a container is present, then jiggle around a little more to get those extra drips of pee out and screwing the cap back on, after that all you have to do is put this club back in your bag, get out your other club and take the shot in half a second. The good news is that most older people are so drugged out of their minds on painkillers or benzos that they don't really give a poo poo about anything anyway.
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Jul 6, 2013 17:32
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Andorra posted:Have there been any cases of smuggling using the UroClub? I could see that happening. Pee smuggling? That's certainly one for the evening news. "Coming up, a new craze that has random drug-tested employees and golden shower devotees scrambling to get their fix... and it involves golf? We'll talk to Bear Grylls about the fascination with the UroClub when we return."
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Jul 6, 2013 18:53
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I've only played golf like twice but I really cant imagine smuggling your own cheap booze in is anything but super-easy in its normal plastic bottle in your bag.
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Jul 6, 2013 19:41
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Cathis posted:The new fresh and easy commercials.. love? Hate? Moatly hate but the whole "f'n easy way" part took me a bit by surprise... Well this is loving terrible.
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Jul 6, 2013 19:53
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Cathis posted:The new fresh and easy commercials.. love? Hate? Moatly hate but the whole "f'n easy way" part took me a bit by surprise... Oh my god this commercial is so twee every DVD in my house turned into a copy of Juno. I mean he's playing a goddamn ukulele. Come on, son. VVVVVVVVV Okay, "strumming", whatever. dijon du jour fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Jul 6, 2013 |
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Jul 6, 2013 19:59
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No he isn't.
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Jul 6, 2013 20:06
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Cathis posted:The new fresh and easy commercials.. love? Hate? Moatly hate but the whole "f'n easy way" part took me a bit by surprise... Why is he poorly lipsynching?
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Jul 6, 2013 23:12
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rotinaj posted:Why is he poorly lipsynching? The video looks to be very badly desynced. The clapper "clap" at the beginning comes at least a half second after it should. e: Oh man that description.  quote:It's about time someone wrote a song about how great it is to shop for food the fresh&easy way. But watch out, this song is pretty fresh&easy to get stuck in your head. Yeah you wish. This song is as forgettable as that that one song by that band whose name escapes me. dijon du jour fucked around with this message at 23:38 on Jul 6, 2013 |
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Jul 6, 2013 23:34
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B-b-b-but he's a "modern" 20something male, and he's a totes adorbskable free spirit with a quirky personality, red pants and a ukulele you guys!! In related terrible news, I saw a commercial/preview for the ~*Honey Boo Boo Watch & Smell Television Event*~ today. I can't find it on youtube but it's... yeah. Yeah. 
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Jul 7, 2013 00:30
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Capn Beeb posted:In related terrible news, I saw a commercial/preview for the ~*Honey Boo Boo Watch & Smell Television Event*~ today. I can't find it on youtube but it's... yeah. The advertising for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has always played up the "white trash" angle to a... disturbing extent. I feel like I'm looking at a carnival flier telling me to come to their freak-show and throw rotten vegetables at a dwarf.
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Jul 7, 2013 01:17
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I'm not sure which is worse honestly: The fact white trash sells so well, or the fact that family is civilized compared to some of the folks in my town.
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Jul 7, 2013 01:48
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dijon du jour posted:The advertising for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has always played up the "white trash" angle to a... disturbing extent. That's pretty much exactly what it is, people pointing and laughing at the scripted antics of the dumb poors so they can feel better about themselves. I think they're trying to cash out now because as Honey Boo Boo is getting older and stops being cute it's just getting more and more sad. Capn Beeb posted:I'm not sure which is worse honestly: The fact white trash sells so well, or the fact that family is civilized compared to some of the folks in my town. This too. Aside from the typical ravages of poverty (teen pregnancy, especially) they're not even particularly outrageous or terrible. ...of SCIENCE! fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Jul 7, 2013 |
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Jul 7, 2013 01:59
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Cathis posted:The new fresh and easy commercials.. love? Hate? Moatly hate but the whole "f'n easy way" part took me a bit by surprise... It's the same trend as "I've taken a sheet right in the cockpit" and K-mart's "Big Gas savings". Sooner or later they will have exhausted every bad pun in existence, and this fad will be over. Except I know this will never happen.
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Jul 7, 2013 15:23
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...of SCIENCE! posted:That's pretty much exactly what it is, people pointing and laughing at the scripted antics of the dumb poors so they can feel better about themselves. I think they're trying to cash out now because as Honey Boo Boo is getting older and stops being cute it's just getting more and more sad. Reality tv has a really creepy brave new world hypnopedia thing in general going on. Half the shows are "I'm so glad I'm not a poor person" and half the shows are "I'm so glad I'm not a rich person" to show you truly you are in the proper place and you should neither help the poor nor aspire to the rich.
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Jul 7, 2013 18:56
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:Reality tv has a really creepy brave new world hypnopedia thing in general going on. Half the shows are "I'm so glad I'm not a poor person" and half the shows are "I'm so glad I'm not a rich person" to show you truly you are in the proper place and you should neither help the poor nor aspire to the rich. It must be working based on the number of people I've seen who genuinely want to kill the Kardashians.
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Jul 7, 2013 19:15
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Reality show rich people aren't even truly wealthy anyhow. Pick a pro athlete you've heard of. They are wealthier than anyone on E!. Until they lose it in bad investments and such.
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Jul 7, 2013 19:33
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dijon du jour posted:The advertising for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has always played up the "white trash" angle to a... disturbing extent. ...of SCIENCE! posted:That's pretty much exactly what it is, people pointing and laughing at the scripted antics of the dumb poors so they can feel better about themselves. I think they're trying to cash out now because as Honey Boo Boo is getting older and stops being cute it's just getting more and more sad. Owlofcreamcheese posted:Reality tv has a really creepy brave new world hypnopedia thing in general going on. Half the shows are "I'm so glad I'm not a poor person" and half the shows are "I'm so glad I'm not a rich person" to show you truly you are in the proper place and you should neither help the poor nor aspire to the rich. The last bastion of that weird, creepy minstrel show quasi-carnival sideshow media sort of thing is now poors/rural people/the South and that weird "hard workin'" genre they often ironically glorify like all the Dirty Jobs-ish copycats and the obsession with Alaska and diggin' and pickin' and oil and poo poo. Edit: Duck Dynasty and Hillbilly Blood and Deep South Paranormal and... Arschlochkind fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Jul 7, 2013 |
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Jul 7, 2013 20:16
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Don't forget midgets, unless TLC has finally gotten off that kick.
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Jul 7, 2013 20:40
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If anyone is up for a bit of terrible nostalgia: http://forgottenadvertisements.wordpress.com/ The blog itself is mediocre at best, but it's a nice collection of old ads all in one place. I'd totally forgotten about the Jumanji board game until I flipped through this. I remember as a kid being incredibly pissed off that it was not a cool wooden box like in the movie. I was willing to live without the rhino stampedes and homicidal monkeys, but goddamn this game was half-assed even to my incredibly low 9-year-old-kid standards. I wonder how much you could make off a proper remake of this game, like the super deluxe amazeballs versions of Monopoly and Scrabble and such (bonus points if they actually use LCDs in the center orb thing instead of cards).
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Jul 7, 2013 21:29
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