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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Well, judging by your user name, I'm going to assume you're currently incarcerated at Ila Prison outside Oslo. That stung, but right country. We used to play W40k together (with Kylaer as GM), but I guess I'm just too bland to be remembered. Much like the "who ordered the assassination on Bran"-plot.
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Aug 3, 2013 19:33
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captain platypus posted:The crowning achievement of Dorne is that Quentyn is the least bad-rear end character that kingdom produced. And like everyone else from Dorne he accomplished nothing.
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Aug 3, 2013 19:44
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Alhazred posted:And like everyone else from Dorne he accomplished nothing. Oberyn totally killed Gregor. He got hosed doing it, but he did it.
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Aug 3, 2013 19:58
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Anders posted:We used to play W40k together (with Kylaer as GM), but I guess I'm just too bland to be remembered. I know who you are, putz. 
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Aug 3, 2013 19:59
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captain platypus posted:Oberyn totally killed Gregor. Gregor is at worst zombiefied though.
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Aug 3, 2013 20:05
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Anders posted:... so instead he just wrote two dumb books instead of a few dumb flashbacks? You say that as if it's not one of the gurmiest things possible.
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Aug 3, 2013 21:47
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captain platypus posted:Oberyn totally killed Gregor. So Gregor is really dead and Robert Strong isn't actually Gregor but cant show his face because he is actually a wolf's head its actually zombie Rob Stark and when it comes time to defend Cersei in the trial he's going to reveal this and kill her instead?
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Aug 3, 2013 22:55
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Alhazred posted:After reading all the book I've come to this conclusion: Dorne is worse than Meereen. Yeah, Dorne's the worst. Their best character died too early, everyone else down there is either dull or reminding me of the badass dead dude I'd rather be reading about with their constant whining about avenging his death.
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Aug 3, 2013 23:41
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Dr. Video Games 0112 posted:So Gregor is really dead and Robert Strong isn't actually Gregor but cant show his face because he is actually a wolf's head its actually zombie Rob Stark and when it comes time to defend Cersei in the trial he's going to reveal this and kill her instead? Pretty sure Robert Strong has Ned Stark's head, read between the lines man.
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Aug 4, 2013 00:08
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The Mutato posted:Pretty sure Robert Strong has Ned Stark's head, read between the lines man. Who's to say it cant be both? The dragon has three heads, wolf, man and father.
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Aug 4, 2013 00:20
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Alhazred posted:And like everyone else from Dorne he accomplished nothing.
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Aug 4, 2013 04:58
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Talas posted:Now come on, Doran was almost going to do it... well, until Arianne hosed up. I guess she really accomplished something. Arianne didnt gently caress up any of Doran's plans. Two dudes getting their heads melted hosed up Doran's plans.
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Aug 4, 2013 05:05
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His plan wasn't even that impressive. After AFFC people acted like old man Martell was this super badass for plotting out some elaborate revenge scheme against those who wronged him. When in realty he just sat around stewing on his gouty rear end for 16 years before enacting his great scheme: send your heir through pirate infested lands with minimal protection to offer to marry a Targ that he knows virtually nothing about. And then...something.
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Aug 4, 2013 06:16
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keiran_helcyan posted:His plan wasn't even that impressive. After AFFC people acted like old man Martell was this super badass for plotting out some elaborate revenge scheme against those who wronged him. When in realty he just sat around stewing on his gouty rear end for 16 years before enacting his great scheme: send your heir through pirate infested lands with minimal protection to offer to marry a Targ that he knows virtually nothing about. And then...something. Give the old man a break, dude. Making plans is really hard.
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Aug 4, 2013 06:21
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The theme of this series is failure. Everyone and their plans will end in complete and utter failure. GRRM is playing the long troll.
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Aug 4, 2013 06:50
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Which GRRM will ultimately represent by failing to finish the series.
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Aug 4, 2013 07:10
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savinhill posted:Yeah, Dorne's the worst. Their best character died too early, everyone else down there is either dull or reminding me of the badass dead dude I'd rather be reading about with their constant whining about avenging his death. Serella Sand has potential. She's smarter than Quentyn, at least.
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Aug 4, 2013 07:47
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blackshreds posted:Which GRRM will ultimately represent by failing to finish the series. *has represented Present tense 
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Aug 4, 2013 09:32
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Alhazred posted:After reading all the book I've come to this conclusion: Dorne is worse than Meereen. That's an objective fact. Every single Dorne-set chapter can be excised from the series without losing anything of value, whereas several Meereen-set chapters are among the series' highlights. The worldbuilding for the cities of Slaver's Bay is also just plain better, more developed and more precise than for Dorne, which is just really generic and underdeveloped. The Gurm himself doesn't even seem to care that much for it as a location and to have just included it for completion's sake, considering how maximalistically written this series is. In short, Meereen rules while Dorne drools. I wish the amount of time and  he spent on Dorne had been spent on Sothoros instead.Alhazred posted:Gregor is at worst zombiefied though. I took Ser Robert Strong more like the monster of Frankenstein (a reanimated collection of body parts) than like a zombie. Joramun fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Aug 4, 2013 |
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Aug 4, 2013 11:54
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There are no highlights. Its all terrible. Burn it all down.
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Aug 4, 2013 12:04
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keiran_helcyan posted:The theme of this series is failure. Everyone and their plans will end in complete and utter failure. GRRM is playing the long troll. Considering the myriad failures of leadership in AFFC/ADWD, they really could have been subtitles "How To Lose Friends and Alienate People."
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Aug 4, 2013 12:57
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Chinston Wurchill posted:Considering the myriad failures of leadership in AFFC/ADWD, they really could have been subtitles "How To Lose Friends and Alienate People." 
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Aug 4, 2013 13:50
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Aug 4, 2013 14:08
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Oh SHI-
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Aug 4, 2013 14:30
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Joramun posted:In short, Meereen rules while Dorne drools. I kinda have to agree, even though I like Dorne. Meereen is all kinds of awesome, once you start seeing Jon - Dany - Cersei as stories of failure. Also, dragon appearing at the arena. Dorne just kinda doesn't have anything going for it. There were two things I took from all Dorne chapters: Doran actually held a grudge for a LONG time, and Quentin is a gently caress-up. Hopefully the sand snakes and Areanne will actually start influencing things in future chapters. Let's just hope there'll be a payoff and GRRM has a plan for where this is going. Shut up let me be optimistic dammit
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Aug 4, 2013 14:54
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It will end terribly, in a flabby poopy mess.
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Aug 4, 2013 15:11
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Joramun posted:
Only when Barry Stan is running the joint.
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Aug 4, 2013 21:15
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I need this on a shirt, preferably black on red. (Che was kind of an absolute fucker loved by millions of idiots so I think it would work.)
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Aug 4, 2013 22:16
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syscall girl posted:I need this on a shirt, preferably black on red. Che Gurmvara.
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Aug 4, 2013 22:41
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El Gurm posted:I am not a writer. Writers do not exist. The people write themselves.
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Aug 4, 2013 22:59
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Go ahead, coward, for you only write a novel.
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Aug 4, 2013 23:06
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quote:GURM SNUH Perfect. Needs a hat. All in good time. Maritime.
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Aug 5, 2013 01:08
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Desert Bus posted:Serella Sand has potential. She's smarter than Quentyn, at least. She knows Dorne sucks too, that's why she's living in Oldtown.
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Aug 5, 2013 02:21
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savinhill posted:She knows Dorne sucks too, that's why she's living in Oldtown. The Sand Snakes rule! All you losers can drool. I imagine they're all like Mexican soap opera stars - SPICY AS A VERY SPICY PEPPER! Bustiness galore. Or maybe like Italian soap opera stars. You know what I mean. Muy Caliente.
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Aug 5, 2013 04:39
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Ugh, that new maester is just so plain and dowdy, ugh, who would want to OH WAIT SHE JUST TOOK OFF HER GLASSES AND LET DOWN HER HAIR BONER ALERT.
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Aug 5, 2013 07:04
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I've got it bad, much and more bad, I'm hot for maester
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Aug 5, 2013 08:03
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redshirt posted:The Sand Snakes rule! All you losers can drool. I imagine they're all like Mexican soap opera stars - SPICY AS A VERY SPICY PEPPER! Bustiness galore. Or maybe like Italian soap opera stars. You know what I mean. Muy Caliente. It is known the Sand Snakes are intended as a parody. They're Gurm's version of Kate Beaton's Strong Female Characters comics. savinhill posted:I've got it bad, much and more bad, I'm hot for maester Do you prefer maester McDreamy or maester McSteamy?
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Aug 5, 2013 11:32
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Why hello there Johnny
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Aug 5, 2013 15:02
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So I've finally gotten around to reading A Dance with Dragons, and about halfway through I've realized an important fact; it's bad. Really bad. The first thing I noticed is that Gurm is obviously stretching on chapters with even more description and bland chatter than usual. I hated the Brienne chapters from before because they obviously padded out and over-described, but it's a slog to get through most of the book. Another terrible bit I noticed are the "Reek" chapters. Good lord, they're basically torture porn. It's disgusting. The Gurm seems to revel in these chapters. And speaking of that, I used to like the Boltons as an dark foil to the Starks, but after reading the Reek chapters, and learning about how Roose Bolton apparently has screaming faces for his shoulderplates, I couldn't take the Boltons seriously anymore. I mean, sure, I could understand the flayed man theme, that's what the Boltons do, after all. And other houses have sillier symbols. And I could even understand the "creepy medieval Richard Simmons with leeches" vibe from the Leech Lord. But the "we're obviously evil, even in this setting" bits are ridiculous, with the aforementioned screaming faces shoulderplates and Ramsay being the dumbest serial killer character I've seen in fantasy. I can't treat the Boltons seriously, and Gurm seems to have a voyueristic streak with "Reek". Oh, and the Dany (I'm not going to bother to spell the whole name) chapters. Awful, badly-written stuff. The names of the Ghiscari characters are terrible and far too similar to each other, and I can't bring myself to care about any of it, besides wanting to throw the book out the window whenever it mentions Daario. I can see why you all hate Dance With Dragons so much. On the plus side, GRR Martin's terrible writing in this book makes me feel better about my own writing. Gygaxian fucked around with this message at 15:40 on Aug 5, 2013 |
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Aug 5, 2013 15:27
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I can show you a REAL sand snake, gurm.
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Aug 5, 2013 18:45
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