Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
enotnert
Jun 10, 2005

Only women bleed

Ursine Asylum posted:

I'm actually unreasonably pleased that my wife is learning how to Google more effectively. It's also pretty :3: when she pops up on GTalk to tell me about a problem she had that she was going to bug me about, but spent half an hour Googling and figuring out the answer herself.

Gotta be honest and brag. . .

My wife started a blog, bought a domain, learned some basic DNS and hosting, installed wordpress.

Had this poo poo going for a year before I noticed it.

Now we get free foodstuffs from her blog.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

KennyG posted:

Our StyleCop would reject you :colbert:

code:
public double TheNeedful()
{
	double profit = 0;
	try{
		profit = Google();
	}
	catch (Exception Obscure){
		Manual TFM = Manual.Read(Obscure.Problem);
		profit = Answer.toProfit(TFM.Obvious);
	}
	return profit;
}

GNU style for life. :colbert:

code:
#include <stdio.h>
#include <errno.h>
#include <drinks.h>

int google(void);
u_int8_t Try_Harder = 0;

int main(void)
{
	while (1)
	{
		if (Problem_Is_Not_Super_Complicated)
		{
			Drink();
			Try_harder = google();
		}		
		if (Try_Harder != 0)
		{
			printf("%i! The community is full of stupid shits!\n", errno};
			Try_Harder = Try_Hardest();
			if (Try_Harder != 0)
			{
				Drink();
			}
		}
		else
		{
			Drink();
			Read_The_Code();
		}	
	}
return 0;
}
:colbert:

Dilbert As FUCK
Sep 8, 2007

by Cowcaster
Pillbug
Great the vAPP for my ICM class decides out of the blue it is just going to stop passing port 80 traffic, and class starts Thursday, well good thing I have some scipts.

Also gently caress pfsense

Ghost Mutt
May 10, 2009
A payroll software came in...

We recently upgraded this client's server and found out the application couldn't print to the default printer stating that the string was too long. The shared printer name was probably about ~50 characters in length and it looks like the new server name pushed it over it's limit.

You ask how a program in 2013 could be this terrible? Just look at it.

WHERE MY HAT IS AT
Jan 7, 2011
That...that is certainly something. Copyright 1987, holy poo poo. It looks like that's the last time they updated the UI, too. I wonder what that codebase must look like.

Comradephate
Feb 28, 2009

College Slice
I'm thinking the first copyright year is also the year they fired their graphic designer.

E:f,b

Alliterate Addict
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes
That looks like it'd be right at home in Windows 3.1.

Sweet lens flare!

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011

Hi
:saddowns: Don't look at my site :saddowns:

WHERE MY HAT IS AT posted:

That...that is certainly something. Copyright 1987, holy poo poo. It looks like that's the last time they updated the UI, too. I wonder what that codebase must look like.

NO gently caress YOU!!! They added a TViewer button, so it's obviously all up to standards! -1 Observation Skills.

tjl
Aug 6, 2005
That background is nauseating... imagine that on a crappy 1997 CRT.

I would love to read the software requirements too. Something like:

Requires an IBM compatible 386 or better with 4 megs of RAM
VGA graphics card
Hard disk drive

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011

Hi
:saddowns: Don't look at my site :saddowns:

tjl posted:

That background is nauseating... imagine that on a crappy 1997 CRT.

I would love to read the software requirements too. Something like:

Requires an IBM compatible 386 or better with 4 megs of RAM
VGA graphics card
Hard disk drive

Actually more like 192 GB of RAM to support the clientside database that loads everytime you do anything.

incoherent
Apr 24, 2004

01010100011010000111001
00110100101101100011011
000110010101110010

SEKCobra posted:

Actually more like 192 GB of RAM to support the clientside database that loads everytime you do anything.

Put the virtual memory in the real memory :getin:

I can litterally hear the autism from the lone programmer/developer who is propping that software up.

Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it

incoherent posted:

Put the virtual memory in the real memory :getin:

Aww, now I want to make a ramdisk to put my swap file in.

Factory Factory
Mar 19, 2010

This is what
Arcane Velocity was like.

Paladine_PSoT posted:

Aww, now I want to make a ramdisk to put my swap file in.

That's actually a way to make use of more than 4 GB of RAM on 32-bit operating systems.

anthonypants
May 6, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo
Dinosaur Gum

Factory Factory posted:

That's actually a way to make use of more than 4 GB of RAM on 32-bit operating systems.
I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.

angry armadillo
Jul 26, 2010
I'm in the process of :yotj: 'ing by volunteering for a project which should in theory put me in position A1 for the job that will be here when my company formally take over (a wee step up the ladder for me)

I've been on site for a couple of weeks now and so far I've found out there are 40 data cabs here. We need to pull 1 or 2 fibres to each cab to ensure info sec compliance with Gov. Policies (which existing infrastructure is non-compliant with, but I'm not allowed to touch it so I hope I get a written letter saying if we (the Gov.) audit we will ignore x y and z but that is the least of my worries at the moment)

one slight problem is the latest duct map I have located was drawn in '91 - the contractors mapping the ducts have already a found several blocked ducts so we are going to have some budget 'changes' - glad I didn't write that budget.

The local on site IT guy isn't really IT at all, his job seems to be to listen to people's problems them tell them to call the support number on their wallpaper :iiam: so he hasn't a clue but he did enquire about IT manager roles going forward :)

So during my initial survey I found an entire network he didn't know was there because he doesn't support it but on the positive side looking at the fibre panels it suggests there is more there is one way to skin this cat in terms of getting fibres about.


All that is before I mention we placed our WAN order on day 0 and the lead time leaves us about 9 days (not working days either) between BT SLA for installing the WAN and go live day for our company taking over.


On the positive side I'm raking in mileage claims at the moment and my hotel resides on a golf course!!

Factory Factory
Mar 19, 2010

This is what
Arcane Velocity was like.

anthonypants posted:

I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.

PAE-equipped 32-bit OSes that poor schmucks have to work with.

Bogan King
Jan 21, 2013

I'm not racist, I'm mates with Bangladesh, the guy who sells me kebabs. No, I don't know his real name.
Here is something that should probably go in the OP, company_loyalty.txt

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!
So a new job opportunity call came in.


I got a call for a non- IT job to do dispatching work for a fuel company in the city. Gonna follow up with them tomorrow, but if i get it, im looking at a 60-75% pay increase plus real benefits.

blackswordca fucked around with this message at 08:33 on Aug 20, 2013

Alliterate Addict
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes

blackswordca posted:

So a new job opportunity call came in.


I got a call for a non- IT job to do dispatching work for a fuel company in the city. Gonna follow up with them tomorrow, but if i get it, im looking at a 60-75% pay increase plus real benefits.

Jesus christ do it do it now don't ask questions just do it

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011

Hi
:saddowns: Don't look at my site :saddowns:

blackswordca posted:

So a new job opportunity call came in.


I got a call for a non- IT job to do dispatching work for a fuel company in the city. Gonna follow up with them tomorrow, but if i get it, im looking at a 60-75% pay increase plus real benefits.

Wait so a logistics/call-center job that pays way more than your IT job? loving do it already!

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard
Cute, we've had our first special snowflake complaining that her special snowflake purple handwriting-like font in Outlook keeps reverting to Arial, black, 11pt. Hi, I'm your BoFH, welcome to group policy :allears:

The great thing is though, although I kind of agree (agreeing with Marketing, the horror!), the standardisation was decreed by Marketing, who were fed up of everyone tinkering with their fonts and colours. So I get to say "I'm sorry, if you have a problem with it please talk to Marketing" :smug:

incoherent
Apr 24, 2004

01010100011010000111001
00110100101101100011011
000110010101110010
Old magician trick: Mash them in the face with GPO while directing the anger at another dept.

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard
A dept who has caused me a lot of grief over recent months. It's beautiful. :)

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard
E: double post sorry. Everything is glitching on me today.

GargleBlaster fucked around with this message at 10:14 on Aug 20, 2013

KennyG
Oct 22, 2002
Here to blow my own horn.

GargleBlaster posted:

Cute, we've had our first special snowflake complaining that her special snowflake purple handwriting-like font in Outlook keeps reverting to Arial, black, 11pt. Hi, I'm your BoFH, welcome to group policy :allears:

The great thing is though, although I kind of agree (agreeing with Marketing, the horror!), the standardisation was decreed by Marketing, who were fed up of everyone tinkering with their fonts and colours. So I get to say "I'm sorry, if you have a problem with it please talk to Marketing" :smug:

Blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.

I get physically ill when I see anything but Calibri, Arial, Times or Courier (or their Mac equivalents) come through. I did once get a Comic Sans quote from a vendor rep. When he followed up, I said I'm sorry but my company only deals with professionals and we went with another vendor. I didn't tell him that his product was 50% more expensive and had 30% fewer features because that would have drowened out the real message. Comic Sans is only OK if you are Matt Groening.

BurgerQuest
Mar 17, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
On a related note, is there a way to make outlook default to pasting text unformatted?

Crowley
Mar 13, 2003

incoherent posted:

Put the virtual memory in the real memory :getin:

Waay back in the dark ages of IT one of my friends did Novell installs for a living, and got an order to set up an insane server with a whopping 128 MB RAM. Of course we installed Windows 3.11 on it just to try it out.
It wasn't fast at all.
Then we got the bright idea to make a RAMdrive for the (required) swap space. Then windows got pretty fast.
Then we got another bright idea, and put the entire Windows-folder on the RAMdrive. That made it seriously fast!
Then Windows crashed, took the machine down with it, and we had to reboot. Then we shrugged and went back to making Doom II mods.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


BurgerQuest posted:

On a related note, is there a way to make outlook default to pasting text unformatted?



Option, Mail, Editor Options gets you to that screen

BurgerQuest
Mar 17, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Ticket resolved.

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Crowley posted:

Waay back in the dark ages of IT one of my friends did Novell installs for a living, and got an order to set up an insane server with a whopping 128 MB RAM. Of course we installed Windows 3.11 on it just to try it out.
It wasn't fast at all.
Then we got the bright idea to make a RAMdrive for the (required) swap space. Then windows got pretty fast.
Then we got another bright idea, and put the entire Windows-folder on the RAMdrive. That made it seriously fast!
Then Windows crashed, took the machine down with it, and we had to reboot. Then we shrugged and went back to making Doom II mods.

We just got rid of our Novell file and email servers last year.

hihifellow
Jun 17, 2005

seriously where the fuck did this genre come from

GreenNight posted:

We just got rid of our Novell file and email servers last year.

Ours are still running and will be running at least until next year, and there are no plans to retire the Groupwise server.

I want both to die horrible screaming deaths. Maybe I'll fill the file servers with McAffee binaries.

Tasty Wheat
Jul 18, 2012

Crowley posted:

Waay back in the dark ages of IT one of my friends did Novell installs for a living, and got an order to set up an insane server with a whopping 128 MB RAM. Of course we installed Windows 3.11 on it just to try it out.
It wasn't fast at all.
Then we got the bright idea to make a RAMdrive for the (required) swap space. Then windows got pretty fast.
Then we got another bright idea, and put the entire Windows-folder on the RAMdrive. That made it seriously fast!
Then Windows crashed, took the machine down with it, and we had to reboot. Then we shrugged and went back to making Doom II mods.

Ah yes, when RAM was $32 a MB, ah crap Doom II, well Doom was fun to mess with.

AcidRonin
Apr 2, 2012

iM A ROOKiE RiGHT NOW BUT i PROMiSE YOU EVERY SiNGLE FUCKiN BiTCH ASS ARTiST WHO TRiES TO SHADE ME i WiLL VERBALLY DiSMANTLE YOUR ASSHOLE
A puppy came in...
Again...
I did the needful, and petted his squishy puppy face. I have also added a sign stating that "cute animals found leashed to my loving datacenter racks become property of the dev team supervisor". I got a new house and I’ve always wanted a dog. I am not sure what I should do to resolve the puppy in the datacenter issue.

captkirk
Feb 5, 2010

AcidRonin posted:

A puppy came in...

A sacrifice left to appease the angry servers?

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

SEKCobra posted:

Wait so a logistics/call-center job that pays way more than your IT job? loving do it already!

I am.. Im just rewriting my resume which is more IT focuses to be more general. But I am gunning for it.
basically its a supervisory position. Ill be responsible for a specific client or board and will have a bunch of drivers and equipment I have to keep track of.

blackswordca fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Aug 20, 2013

AcidRonin
Apr 2, 2012

iM A ROOKiE RiGHT NOW BUT i PROMiSE YOU EVERY SiNGLE FUCKiN BiTCH ASS ARTiST WHO TRiES TO SHADE ME i WiLL VERBALLY DiSMANTLE YOUR ASSHOLE

captkirk posted:

A sacrifice left to appease the angry servers?
I mean nothing beats walking in to the datacenter with my first undrunk coffee in my hand in the morning and seeing this chipper golden retriever puppy staring at me like "oh, good morning human, my owner tied me to this weird blinky thing. Sure is noisy in here isn’t it? Also is this thing what has all the lights on it food? These trees are strange…. do you have bacon?". I want to know what went through the mind of whoever brought their dog in here. Also, i want to fire building security. I think step 1 is relocate said cute animal away from the like millions in taxpayer dollars he might pee on.

captkirk
Feb 5, 2010

AcidRonin posted:

I mean nothing beats walking in to the datacenter with my first undrunk coffee in my hand in the morning and seeing this chipper golden retriever puppy staring at me like "oh, good morning human, my owner tied me to this weird blinky thing. Sure is noisy in here isn’t it? Also is this thing what has all the lights on it food? These trees are strange…. do you have bacon?". I want to know what went through the mind of whoever brought their dog in here. Also, i want to fire building security. I think step 1 is relocate said cute animal away from the like millions in taxpayer dollars he might pee on.

Maybe they figured it would be okay with the raised floor?

Also, gold retriever puppy? Steal it.

SubjectVerbObject
Jul 27, 2009
One of the best things about working from home is doing so with a puppy on your lap. One of the worst things is doing so with a puppy sitting staring at you with a "why won't you play with me?" look on its face.

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.

blackswordca posted:

I am.. Im just rewriting my resume which is more IT focuses to be more general. But I am gunning for it.
basically its a supervisory position. Ill be responsible for a specific client or board and will have a bunch of drivers and equipment I have to keep track of.

Let's be honest here; if the position was blowing sailors at the docks for £6/hr, I think most people would recommend you took it instead of staying where you are.



Good luck

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Glans Dillzig
Nov 23, 2011

:justpost::justpost::justpost::justpost::justpost::justpost::justpost::justpost:

knickerbocker expert

AcidRonin posted:

I mean nothing beats walking in to the datacenter with my first undrunk coffee in my hand in the morning and seeing this chipper golden retriever puppy staring at me like "oh, good morning human, my owner tied me to this weird blinky thing. Sure is noisy in here isn’t it? Also is this thing what has all the lights on it food? These trees are strange…. do you have bacon?". I want to know what went through the mind of whoever brought their dog in here. Also, i want to fire building security. I think step 1 is relocate said cute animal away from the like millions in taxpayer dollars he might pee on.

The owner of our company routinely brings her 2 chihuahuas into the office and lets them have free reign. It's incredibly irritating, but I can't imagine them getting into our server room. Thank god for small miracles.

She also sneaks them past building security in her purse. I can't wait for the day that one of the guards asks her why her purse is yipping.

  • Locked thread