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 Hello friends, it's that time of year again. The time when we all heavily regret our decision to start watching that cute show about the singing teenagers. Because once you're in, there's no way out.  If you've never seen Glee before, now is a really bad time to jump in for multiple reasons. The first of which is that the show has been on a downward slide for awhile and is a loving train wreck. The second reason is that last season ended in the middle of the school year and this season is picking up immediately where it left off. The third reason is because Jesus Christ didn't you read what I said? This show is a loving hostage situation once they've got you, they'll never let go. Anyway, if you pay attention to the news, you may have heard that Cory Monteith, one of the stars of the show passed away over the summer. Whether you liked Finn or not, I think we can all agree that this was a horrible tragedy and he will be deeply missed. The tribute episode for him is the the third episode of the season and I would like to say before it airs that while I know that criticizing this show is the thread's favorite past time (because there is so very much to criticize), let's keep in mind that this episode is functionally a public funeral organized by the people who loved Cory the most and it would take a special kind of douchebag to tell them that they're mourning him incorrectly. If you end up angry about the episode let it go. Glee airs on Thursdays at 9pm EST and will begin airing Sept. 26th this year, a bit later than usual due to Cory Monteith's passing. Let's get on to the character list because this poo poo's going to take forever. The Incredibly Useless Faculty Members  Will Schuester Played by Matthew Morrison, Will is a gigantic manchild who has been living out his glory days vicariously through his students for the past 5 years. He won teacher of the year in a season in which he was revealed to be absolutely horrible at Spanish, a pretty damning flaw for a Spanish teacher. He has since been teaching History, a subject he also sucks at. Nobody likes Will.  Emma Pillsbury Played by Jayma Mays, Emma is McKinley's guidance counselor who happens to have intense OCD and mysophobia. This is not actually played for laughs most of the time and she is both on medication and seeing a therapist about it. Unfortunately, she is married to the world's biggest jackass, Will Schuester, who is often extremely bad at handling her issues.  Sue Sylvester Played by Jane Lynch, Sue was the McKinley cheerleading coach until an incident last year in which she took the fall for a gun going off at school. She also has a daughter with Downs Syndrome (via a sperm donor, she is very much single) and had a sister with Downs Syndrome who passed away. Although a deeply mean person, Sue has frequently championed the underdogs more than even Will does.  Shannon Beiste Played by Dot-Marie Jones, Beiste is the McKinley football coach and well known for eating entire rotisserie chickens for lunch. Beiste spent part of Season 3 in an abusive relationship and most of Season 4 being nonexistent, which is a goddamn shame because she's a fan favorite with her tough but sensitive soul and her incomprehensible proverbs.  Roz Washington Played by NeNe Leaks, Roz is the McKinley swimming coach and is a former Olympian, something she reminds everyone of constantly because she never takes off her medal. Roz has taken over the Cheerios in the wake of Coach Sylvester's removal and has also apparently taken over her duties as the meanest teacher around with her tendency for long winded and mystifying rants. Graduates With a Shocking Amount of Money to Spend on Plane Tickets   Finn Hudson Played by Cory Monteith, Finn Hudson is dead. Yeah, that's confirmed, not even gonna sugar coat it. Finn won't be riding off into the sunset anywhere. Finn was never a very popular character in this thread with his habit of being treated like a hero for douchey things, but he's had some truly amazing moments and he will be missed. Finn spent most of last season being a vastly superior version of Will, proving that he's a much better character when kept away from romantic plots.  Rachel Berry Played by Lea Michele, Rachel is basically the star of the show, much to the frustration of fans that feel she gets a disproportionate amount of screen time. She has an amazing voice but her plotlines have a bad habit of being focused more on romance than the career that she ostensibly cares more about. She's currently up for the role of Fanny Brice in Funny Girl, which would be a hell of a leap for her career considering she's still in her first year of college.   Noah Puck Puckerman Played by Mark Salling, Puck is a former high school bully who is still occasionally a jerk but mostly because he doesn't know any better than out of any malevolence. Puck moved out to California after graduating but couldn't cut it and has since moved back to Lima, which puts him closer to his newly discovered half brother, Jake.  Kurt Hummel Played by Chris Colfer, Kurt is a character who used to be a lot more loving interesting. A gay teenager growing up in a conservative small town, he used to be bitchy and cruel to cover up his insecurities, but these days he's a Saint who just lets things happen to him with an aggravating passivity. His boyfriend cheated on him last season and despite a messy break up, they've hooked up since then but are still not back together.  Mike Chang Played by Harry Shum Jr, Mike is the best male dancer on the cast and is understandably attending a dance academy in Chicago. Mike was formerly dating Tina but they broke up the summer before Season 4 for long distance reasons. Mike is probably the only character who hasn't suffered massive character assassination at some point, so he's due for some bad decisions.  Mercedes Jones Played by Amber Riley, Mercedes has one of the most powerful voices on the cast. She's been in California attending college and singing backup on an indie label, though apparently they're being kind of tools to her. She used to be dating Sam but then they broke up, and then she had a different boyfriend but Sam came back and she wanted him, and then they didn't actually get back together and look I have no idea what the gently caress was going on with that plot.   Santana Lopez Played by Naya Rivera, Santana is a thread favorite due to her gorgeous voice, gorgeous body, and gorgeously snarky dialogue. She's also a lesbian who is not really over her high school girlfriend Brittany, though Brittany seems to have moved on just fine. Santana was going to college in Kentucky but dropped out to move to New York and harass Rachel and Kurt. It's going well.   Quinn Fabray Played by Dianna Agron, Quinn is an unending train wreck of poor decisions and character derailment. Seriously, Quinn has been batshit crazy for at least 4 seasons. She got into Yale for drama which should have been a high note for her to end on, but apparently she slept with a teacher and then made the much better decision to sleep with Santana at Will and Emma's wedding. Rumor is that Agron's made a lot of noise about wanting to be off the show which could only be for the best. McKinley Students With Phenomenally Uninteresting Romantic Drama  Artie Abrams Played by Kevin McHale, Artie is a skinny white boy nerd with delusions of being a gangster. He's also in a wheelchair but he's never let that stop him from being boss as hell. He's a surprisingly big hit with the ladies considering how many sweater vests he wears, though it could be because of his dead sexy voice. Artie is basically the shadow government of the Glee club and it's a skill that will serve him well in his future career as a film director.  Blaine Anderson Played by Darren Criss, Blaine is the smiling poster boy for show choirs everywhere. Where Artie rules from the background, Blaine is the more obvious leader of the Glee club, being handsome, charismatic, and relatively intelligent. Also like Artie, he's quite popular with the ladies, much to his chagrin as he is extremely gay. He was dating Kurt but he cheated on him with a random dude off Facebook, and has since been alternately trying to make it up to him, crushing on Sam, and being nearly assaulted by Tina.  Tina Cohen-Chang Played by Jenna Ushkowitz, Tina noticed last year that with Quinn gone, the role of Biggest Train Wreck was available and went for it with incredible determination. Mike broke up with her, which she did not take well, and she ended up crushing on Blaine despite having spent the entirety of Season 3 watching him make bedroom eyes at Kurt. There's nothing wrong with having a crush, but the Vapo-rape was unnecessary. Don't even ask.  Brittany S. Pierce Played by Heather Morris, Brittany is an amazing dancer and an idiot savant who was invited to MIT at the end of last season, mostly because Morris is pregnant and they needed to write her off for a bit. Brittany spent most of last season dating Sam, much to Santana's frustration, but the adventures of the world's dumbest blondes was actually pretty entertaining, even if it was occasionally jaw-droppingly stupid.  Sam Evans Played by Chord Overstreet, Sam is a genuinely good person who just happens to be dumb as a box of bricks. He's a massive pop culture junkie and can frequently be heard making references that half the room doesn't understand or doing bad impersonations. He makes poor grades but that's more likely due to his dyslexia than any actual stupidity given the quality of teaching at McKinely.  Sugar Motta Played by Vanessa Lengies, Sugar doesn't show up nearly as much as she deserves to because she is the loving best. Definitely not a mob boss's daughter, Sugar is filthy rich and funds most of the Glee club's various ventures despite only rarely remembering that she's even in the club. Sugar can't sing to save her life, but god knows that won't stop her from doing so.  Joe Hart Played by Samuel Larson, Joe was one of the characters added due to the Glee Project and was deeply despicable in his first storyline. He has since had approximately zero plotlines and has thus become much more enjoyable. He is a devout Christian and a total hippy, as evidenced by his flowing dreadlocks. Larson shaved his dreadlocks off over the summer though which removes the only notable thing about him.  Unique Adams Played by Alex Newell, Unique is a transgirl and if you refer to her with male pronouns, this entire thread will turn into a disaster area real loving quick. Just don't do it. Unique tried to play Rizzo in the Glee club's performance of Grease last season but despite Finn giving her the go ahead to do so, Coach Sylvester refused to allow it. Unfortunately, this was basically Unique's only plotline all season up until she was revealed as Ryder's catfisher, which made no loving sense.  Marley Rose Played by Melissa Benoist, Marley formerly owned an awesome hat that she has tragically misplaced somewhere. Marley had a brush with an eating disorder last season and has been in therapy for it, though her family is very poor and has had difficulty paying for it. Marley has been at the center of a deeply uninteresting love triangle between herself, Jake, and Ryder, and frankly at this point they might as well just get it over with and have a threesome.   Jake Puckerman Played by Jacob Artist, Jake is the only really good dancer left in the club now that Brittany is leaving, which is surprising considering that he's the half brother of famously awful dancer Noah Puckerman. Jake has tried to present himself as a tough guy, which is kind of sad because part of this involved riding a scooter through the school hallways. He's dating Marley but his bromance with Ryder, also his rival for Marley's affections, was getting weird for awhile.  Ryder Lynn Played by Blake Jenner, Ryder was another character added from the Glee Project and the entire thread was all set to hate him until Ryder turned out to be the cutest dork in the universe. Ryder is dyslexic like Sam but only found out recently, which is good because Ryder had previously just assumed he was stupid. Ryder was interested in Marley but cut that out when he met somebody online, because that always works out well. It turned out he was being catfished by Unique, a plotline that absolutely nobody liked.  Kitty Wilde Played by Becca Tobin, Kitty attempted to claim the spot as replacement Quinn without realizing that Tina had that poo poo on lockdown. Kitty is ostensibly a devout Christian but mostly just uses it as an excuse to be really mean. She actively gave Marley an eating disorder and never suffered any real punishment for it, but she did sleep with Puck so it's kind of like she punished herself. Other People Who Show Up Frequently Enough to Warrant a Description  Becky Jackson Played by Lauren Potter, Becky would be a walking PSA on any other show. A Downs Syndrome cheerleader, Becky is actually one of the meanest characters on the show. She is a stone cold bitch, I ain't even playin'. She was Coach Sylvester's sidekick until she brought a gun to school last year for no discernible reason and it accidentally went off twice. Sue took the fall for it, much to Becky's dismay.  Sebastian Smythe Played by Grant Gustin, Sebastian is a smug douchebag who sort of leads the Dalton Academy Warblers. He was introduced as a villain and was half-heartedly reformed last season. He still seems to want to get into Blaine's pants, but he's no longer being a sexual predator about it so I guess that's an improvement.   Cassandra July Played by Kate Hudson, Cassandra is one of the teachers at NYADA, the school that Rachel and Kurt attend. She spent the entirety of Season 4 being absolutely horrible to Rachel, including sleeping with her temporary love interest, Brody. At the end of the season, Cassandra claimed that she did it to make Rachel a better performer, which reeks of cop out to me, but whatever.  Shelby Corcoran Played by Idina Menzel, Shelby is a loving terrible character, which is tragic considering the quality of her actress. Shelby is Rachel's biological mother and the adopted mother of the baby that Quinn gave up. Shelby has an awful habit of showing up randomly when Rachel needs somebody to kick her in the rear end, and then disappearing just as suddenly. She also hosed Puck while he was still a student, so uh, good job.  Burt Hummel Played by Mike O'Malley, Burt is the best adult in the show, which isn't really high praise all things considered. He's Kurt's father, and he married Finn's mother in Season 2. Burt is a simple, small town mechanic who loves his gay son fiercely and has threatened to blowtorch the school when they treated Kurt badly. He's also been an excellent father to Finn, who really needed a better father figure than Will loving Schuester.  Carole Hudson-Hummel Played by Romy Rosemont, Carole is Finn's mother and married Burt back in Season 2. While she's gotten significantly less screen time than Burt has, she's been shown to be a devoted mother to both Finn and Kurt who wants the best for both of her boys. She revealed back in Season 3 that Finn's father, an army man, did not actually die in combat, but from a drug overdose due to PTSD. This reveal is so retroactively painful that I almost didn't mention it because goddamn. CuwiKhons fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Sep 21, 2013 |
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Sep 21, 2013 20:41
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 23:53 |
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gently caress this show. Nice OP, Cuwi. Rachel did not have that much screen time last season and her songs were either crappy duets or boring solos. Better songs for Rachel, please. the truth fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Sep 21, 2013 |
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Sep 21, 2013 21:01
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Do you still happen to have the gif of one of the girls spraying Jake with fake tan?
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Sep 21, 2013 21:18
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Grant Gustin probably isn't going to be on the show that much since he got cast as the Flash on Arrow which the CW is setting up as a maybe spin off.
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Sep 21, 2013 21:29
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Coconut Indian posted:Do you still happen to have the gif of one of the girls spraying Jake with fake tan? I completely forgot about this and went back and scoured the old thread until I found it.  Still amazing. muscles like this? posted:Grant Gustin probably isn't going to be on the show that much since he got cast as the Flash on Arrow which the CW is setting up as a maybe spin off. He's already been confirmed to be back for something which is why I included him. I sincerely hope he shows up as little as possible.
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Sep 21, 2013 21:32
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In regards to what I posted at the end of the last thread, Jayma Mays IS leaving the show (after this season) meaning, yes, she can be in two places (shows) at once. http://hollywoodlife.com/2013/07/30/jayma-mays-leaving-glee-season-5/
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Sep 21, 2013 21:35
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This OP is as gorgeous as Naya Rivera  a: Dat Kitty gif 
Rarity fucked around with this message at 21:47 on Sep 21, 2013 |
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Sep 21, 2013 21:41
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I almost want to tune in, but after the trainwreck that was last season (I quit midway through) I don't know if I can. I miss the days of fake baby bellies and Kristen Chenowith getting Kurt drunk and then giving him porn.
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Sep 21, 2013 21:52
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Rarity posted:a: Dat Kitty gif Let it never be said that I don't know what the peoples want. Illuen posted:I almost want to tune in, but after the trainwreck that was last season (I quit midway through) I don't know if I can. I miss the days of fake baby bellies and Kristen Chenowith getting Kurt drunk and then giving him porn. Every time Shelby shows up on screen and I want to kill everyone, I mentally pour one out for Cheno and the glory days. Tupping Liberty posted:In regards to what I posted at the end of the last thread, Jayma Mays IS leaving the show (after this season) meaning, yes, she can be in two places (shows) at once. I don't know why the gently caress she bothered announcing that she's leaving if she's open to guest starring. She's basically already a guest star with how infrequently she shows up. Does she actually think Murphy won't drag her back for the final season at some point?
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Sep 21, 2013 21:58
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Apparent controversy re: Cory's death being recognized at the Emmys: http://www.today.com/entertainment/emmy-producer-defends-cory-monteith-tribute-4B11222722
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Sep 22, 2013 00:02
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Literally no one watches the Emmys, so I don't think it's going to be much of a deal.
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Sep 22, 2013 01:02
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I watch the Emmys.  Neil Patrick Harris is awesome.
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Sep 22, 2013 02:50
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Tupping Liberty posted:I watch the Emmys. No Tatiana Maslany, no buys
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Sep 22, 2013 02:56
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Top-notch OP, Cuwi.  Cory getting Emmy's recognition feels weird to me, just because the Emmy's never really did anything for him, nor vice-versa. They were acquaintances, not friends. It's like getting up to give a touching eulogy at the funeral of a co-worker you barely spoke to.
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Sep 22, 2013 14:28
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Great OP, but isn't that title a little... inappropriate?
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Sep 22, 2013 14:32
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BreakAtmo posted:Great OP, but isn't that title a little... inappropriate? No.
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Sep 22, 2013 15:25
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If enough people don't like it, then I'm not adverse to changing it but we were making thread title jokes about Cory's death the same week he passed away so I don't expect that many people to be upset about it. Glee used to be very fond of dark humor and I, personally, believe that humor is the best way to deal with loss. Laugh so you don't cry, you know?
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Sep 22, 2013 17:36
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I thought the title was morbidly amusing. Kind of like Glee itself.
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Sep 22, 2013 17:45
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CuwiKhons posted:If enough people don't like it, then I'm not adverse to changing it but we were making thread title jokes about Cory's death the same week he passed away so I don't expect that many people to be upset about it. Glee used to be very fond of dark humor and I, personally, believe that humor is the best way to deal with loss. Laugh so you don't cry, you know? Yeah, true. The 'line' is always a personal thing. I just saw it and thought 'ouch'. I suppose the main reason why is that I felt like it uses his death to mock a TV show, and one that he cared about and put a lot of work into. It's probably nothing.
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Sep 22, 2013 17:54
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The dark humor was one of the things that made Glee great, so i think it is perfectly fine.
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Sep 22, 2013 17:55
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Oasx posted:The dark humor was one of the things that made Glee great, so i think it is perfectly fine. Oh, that I thoroughly agree with. If only that could come back. Hell, add more than what was there originally.
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Sep 22, 2013 18:09
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Great opening post - cannot wait to get this season underway. One thing I just remembered about Burt - whatever happened to his run for Congress and being part of the US Congress? Did that just fade away randomly and never talked about again?
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Sep 22, 2013 21:25
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Hahaha, you think Glee remembers things that happened more than 5 episodes ago?
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Sep 22, 2013 22:58
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Burt flat-out overtly mentions his Congress job during the last episode he appeared in, when talking with Blaine about marriage equality.  I had to take a break from the last thread when it spiraled into endless dialogue between people who clearly hate the show yet can't stop loving watching and talking about the show. Are there even any folks left like me who are unironically looking forward to Glee being back?
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Sep 23, 2013 00:03
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BrianWilly posted:Burt flat-out overtly mentions his Congress job during the last episode he appeared in, when talking with Blaine about marriage equality. Shippers.
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Sep 23, 2013 00:11
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I unironically enjoy the newbies and I'm kind of sad that they are about to be displaced completely by more banal New York poo poo. But maybe that means the New York part of the show will actually become entertaining! Aha. Hahaha. Haha.
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Sep 23, 2013 00:27
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Well New York will have both Demi Lovato and Adam Lambert and the chances that they're gonna be ten times better than Kate Hudson and Sarah Jessica Parker (who I actually liked) is pretty high. 
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Sep 23, 2013 00:37
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Hey Glee thread, I dropped this show like a sack of bricks like 3 episodes into Season 4, but I'm somewhat curious of what I've missed. So I'll ask the only question that I care about; Is Naya Rivera/Santana still worthy? And is this part in the OP about Quinn sleeping with Santana true? If so, what episode? I legit find it hard to care about this show anymore, but I can't deny I'm wondering what kind of hell I've missed out on since.
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Sep 23, 2013 03:11
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SereneCrimson posted:Hey Glee thread, I dropped this show like a sack of bricks like 3 episodes into Season 4, but I'm somewhat curious of what I've missed. Episode...14? I think? "I Do" was the title, for Will/Emma's wedding. Literally her last action on-screen was leaning in for round two. Really, Quinn's entire storyline to end her stint on the show, for the three episodes where she appeared, was, "I'm going to gently caress Santana." Santana spoilers for this upcoming season: she's going to be dating Demi Lovato.
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Sep 23, 2013 03:26
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Rarity posted:Shippers. They must have gone ballistic when Cory passed away.
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Sep 23, 2013 04:19
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SereneCrimson posted:So I'll ask the only question that I care about; Is Naya Rivera/Santana still I take it you didn't see the gifs in the OP
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Sep 23, 2013 05:18
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Super Dude posted:They must have gone ballistic when Cory passed away. I'm not going to fault anybody for being as upset as they may have been about Cory's death given the way some people here reacted.
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Sep 23, 2013 06:21
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CuwiKhons posted:we were making thread title jokes about Cory's death the same week he passed away Mostly me over AIM, at least as far as quantity. Also I generally like the show more than I make it seem when I post in here. I just like lame "this is an addiction" jokes better.
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Sep 23, 2013 16:26
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Senerio posted:Also I generally like the show more than I make it seem when I post in here. I just like lame "this is an addiction" jokes better. I do still like Glee. I might not like the characters, I might not like the storylines, I might not like the writing, I might not like the music, I might not like... Wait, why do I still like Glee?  Save me
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Sep 23, 2013 16:37
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Rarity posted:I do still like Glee. I might not like the characters, I might not like the storylines, I might not like the writing, I might not like the music, I might not like... You like Glee because you like Naya Rivera.
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Sep 23, 2013 16:46
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Rarity posted:I do still like Glee. I might not like the characters, I might not like the storylines, I might not like the writing, I might not like the music, I might not like... I mainly like the actors and individual moments and jokes. The series overall has really suffered - I wish it could go back to it's sharper, darker origins rather than being built around Top 40 covers. But we'll always have the few brilliant scenes, like Santana coming out to her grandmother. I remember reading a line from a review - "The thing I hate the most about Glee is that, on rare occasions, it's the best thing on TV." Plus it's funny to see people mock it as a High School Musical series when I doubt HSM ever had a character say "You can't scissor a webcam."
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Sep 23, 2013 16:48
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I like the music 9 times out of 10, I tend to like the characters more than y'all (with the exceptions of everyone's favorite characters, who I don't like as much), and the Lima storyline are not as bad as y'all tend to say. I will concede that the overall writing and NY storyline are genuinely awful though. To me it's just a way to get to the next song.
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Sep 23, 2013 16:53
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xeria posted:You like Glee because you like Naya Rivera. Oh god it's true 
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Sep 23, 2013 17:07
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I typically enjoy Glee while I'm watching it, but then about an hour after it's over, I'll sit there and think "Wait, that was horrible. What the gently caress?"
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Sep 23, 2013 18:00
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 23:53 |
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Rarity posted:drat right Fixed that for you.
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Sep 23, 2013 19:00
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