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Yup, that was an ending alright! I could tell, by the way the credits rolled, and the villain died, and how it ticked all the checkboxes for "generic action movie ending". Sorry, Toxic Grind, but there's only one guy who's even vaguely allowed to get away with that: EDIT: Gawd, I'd forgotten just how god-awful THUG 2's graphics are. Oh well, it's still... [choke]... so beautiful!
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Sep 14, 2013 23:44
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Six Of Spades posted:It seems appropriate that this game ends in Nickelodeon gunge. It's a goofy-as-gently caress game show after all. Glazius posted:If I thought the Toxic Grind people were doing terrible explosion GIFs and throwing Gak at the camera on purpose I'd actually be kind of amused by it. JamieTheD posted:Yup, that was an ending alright! I could tell, by the way the credits rolled, and the villain died, and how it ticked all the checkboxes for "generic action movie ending". Hated the ending? Wanted a better one? Hell, did you want this game to have a better plot? Then give it one! That's right, all 5 of you, it's time to GIVE THIS GAME A BETTER PLOT. Enclosed in the first bonus video, alongside showing off the secret level which has like 95 percent of the powerups in the whole game in it and going through the cutscene list, where each cutscene has a really dumb name, is a challenge for the viewers. Also, the most emo music of all time. blanktester and I got 'inspired' by something near the end of the video and we're definitely making a second bonus video. Toxic Grind lingers like a cancer. Toxic Grind Part 11: Jason in the year whenever - the Toxic Grind LP CC Challenge  Text Link Ok, so if you want to give Toxic Grind a better plot, here are the 'rules': 1) Literally any plot is better. Put them all in highschool? Sure! Vampire bromance? Sure! Rewrite your massive epic 'The Naruto' fanfic, now with Jason Hayes? Because that's what I'm doing. 2) Story must include Rick McCrank and Skier X. Skier X can or can not be played by Gary Oldman, it's your choice. ADDENDUM: You can have multiple ideas, of course. Just try to get Skier X and Rick McCrank and all that jazz into one of them. Now off! Deadline is... uhh... whenever it runs out of steam. That could be today or a few days or it becomes the next CC challenge, which I guess would be sweet, but eh. Insetik fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Sep 17, 2013 |
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Sep 17, 2013 17:49
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Ovues posted:Hated the ending? Wanted a better one? Hell, did you want this game to have a better plot? So we already have a front-runner. Last night, a youtuber wrote out a plot that will surely shake the foundations of your soul, in 500 char blocks. Here, I present, concatinated for your convenience, ilmucche's plot for "Toxic Grind 2: McCranked Up": ilmucche posted:I took your challenge. You were right, it's terrible. I present to you, in 500 character blocks made difficult by the fact that I wasted a bunch by calling him "Rick motherfucking McCrank" the whole time: Toxic Grind 2: McCranked Up. As dedicated as ilmucche was (if one of you, here on the forum, is ilmucche, do let us know), I'm pretty pissed about his plot. HE COMPLETELY MISSED SKIER X PLAYED BY THE UNDENIABLE GENIUS THAT IS GARY OLDMAN. “My oh my. How shall I write a story to compete with that? ‘Tis a story of such magnanimity, I fear I would only look silly if I did not try to add to the idea!” you may be thinking. Fear not! We are also accepting cover-art and booklet art for the Toxic Grind 2 cover DAIGERUS??? , if you don’t feel like writing your own story. Hell, a theme song would blow me away. So get cracking, all three of you who watch these!
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Sep 17, 2013 19:47
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Hokay, taking this poo poo up! The Toxic Grind (by Uwe Boll, aged 7 3/4) In the far future, skating is outlawed, along with all other extreme sports, because... wait, wait, don't go away, Mr. Insetik, sir, it's not the same as the game, you know drat well I wouldn't make things the same as the game! ...Anyways, it's all banned, because Dixon Von Blass, secretly the immortal Skier X (played by Gary Oldman) cannot ski anymore. Not just because his bosses have given him all the paperwork to fill out every time a skater gets imprisoned, or dies, or lives and fucks everything up (forcing the bosses to go back in time and just "give him a winner's holiday"), but because skiing is impossible in the future. Global warming has removed every decent skiing spot in the world, and the material they made ski-slopes out of is destroyed by a highly specific ski-slope eating bacteria. Life is terrible. Until Rick McCrank appears. Teleported from the mid 90s, Rick McCrank (played by Zooey Deschanel) is everything Skier X used to be: Vivacious, sexy, having the time of her life even when forced to ride insane skateparks filled with rabid mecha-otters and massive balls that are pink and glowy and other deathtraps. She enthralls him by the cunning method of repeatedly yelling "PENIS!" to rekindle his love of life. They have an affair, and he tries to hide it from his bosses. They, predictably, find out, and send their special operative, Jason Hayes (played by Samuel L Mo'fuggin Jackson) to lure Zooey away with cunning and romantic use of the word "gently caress". The end of the movie is a bittersweet one, as Skiier X wins back Rick McCrank, only to discover that... well, it's actually Rick McCrank, not Zooey Deschanel as he first thought. Jason Hayes gets invited to the board of directors, and the "Toxic Grind" begins all over again, with Skiier X now having a shrewish wife (Rick McCrank) to harry his life and make it hell by yelling "PENIS!" ironically incessantly. So, you think the fans will hate it, you, and me? No, you've already got something derivative and lovely lined up? John St. John? Sweet baby jesus, really? Wow... You guys are so much better at making bad plots than I am!
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Sep 17, 2013 20:10
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JamieTheD posted:Hokay, taking this poo poo up!  ^^^^ me at the moment Uhhh well, obviously, I need to do this too. I'm still coming up with one that will involve Skier X and Rick McCrank and all that good fun, but I might throw in an extra thing or two depending on whether the idea stays funny while writing it. I'll put that as an addendum to the original thing: ADDENDUM: You can have multiple ideas, of course. Just try to get Skier X and Rick McCrank and all that jazz into one of them. ilmucche, JamietheD, anyone else below this: Thanks for the amazing, mind-blowing, heart-wrenching, soul-crushing submissions. This thread is going and has gone places unheard of even by the best of extreme sports games. Even without that, this game has one more thing up its sleeve that will shock, awe, and terrify you - and only part of it is blanktester's skill.
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Sep 17, 2013 22:56
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JamieTheD posted:Wow... You guys are so much better at making bad plots than I am! I'm not so sure, cuz that was loving great. And totally what Uwe Boll would do. Ovues posted:Even without that, this game has one more thing up its sleeve that will shock, awe, and terrify you - and only part of it is blanktester's skill. You kids are in for a treat. IntelligentCalcium already knows what it is, but the rest of you are in for a bumpy ride. And by bumpy ride, I mean DEAR GOD WHAT THE gently caress IS THAT.
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Sep 18, 2013 00:39
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blanktester posted:
Oh my god did you guys actually manage to record it? I cannot loving wait.
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Sep 18, 2013 01:20
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Okay, this is the first time I've tried to write seriously in a while. Man, was I out of it at the start, but things got better! If you want me to continue, just leave a like and a review down below!!! I put it in a pastebin because it got a bit long to just copy in here, but go read it! Haha, hope you like my OC, I put a lot of time into this *Angel hits me on the head* Angel: "you stupid baka! Don't say such foolish things!" *Insetik takes over again* hahaha ok I'm sorry, dont be mad *Angel pouts* Angel: "Oh fine, just keep it down" Toxic Grind: Awakening Chapter 1 (Now I know why lovely writers can't write a chapter longer than 1000 words. I hit that amount and was like "gently caress it, I'm done")
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Sep 18, 2013 05:16
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Ovues posted:Okay, this is the first time I've tried to write seriously in a while. Man, was I out of it at the start, but things got better! If you want me to continue, just leave a like and a review down below!!! I put it in a pastebin because it got a bit long to just copy in here, but go read it! Haha, hope you like my OC, I put a lot of time into this *Angel hits me on the head* Angel: "you stupid baka! Don't say such foolish things!" *Insetik takes over again* hahaha ok I'm sorry, dont be mad *Angel pouts* Angel: "Oh fine, just keep it down" Wow. When you told me you were going to post this in the thread, I thought you were going to at least tell the people that it was tongue in cheek. That was serious cringe bro. quote:(Now I know why lovely writers can't write a chapter longer than 1000 words. I hit that amount and was like "gently caress it, I'm done") That implies that lovely writers know that they're writing badly. blanktester fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Sep 18, 2013 |
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Sep 18, 2013 19:28
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blanktester posted:We are also accepting cover-art and booklet art for the Toxic Grind 2 cover DAIGERUS??? , if you don’t feel like writing your own story. Hell, a theme song would blow me away. What am I, some kind of magical art-related genie here to grant your every wish? Well, sorry to dash your expectations, but I only got this crappy sketch thing instead, so there. Like, if Toxic Grind really wants to be extreme, then it needs to ditch the bikes and be more truthful to its actual title. Like it needs some actual toxic grinding, and oh, let's make them (suggestively) naked too to drive up those ratings. Cause that's what that game really needs. And hexagons.  seriously the rampant, excessive violence was the only good thing about the game
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Sep 19, 2013 13:40
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Daigerus posted:What am I, some kind of magical art-related genie here to grant your every wish? Well, sorry to dash your expectations, but I only got this crappy sketch thing instead, so there. Like, if Toxic Grind really wants to be extreme, then it needs to ditch the bikes and be more truthful to its actual title. Like it needs some actual toxic grinding, and oh, let's make them (suggestively) naked too to drive up those ratings. Cause that's what that game really needs. And hexagons. RATED H FOR HEXAGONS Well you may not think you're a genie, but that's magic right there. And it's square, so it could be the cover of the OST, which features such big names as hrmhrmbhr hrmblermrmmrmblrmr. Love you, Daigerus. We haven't had you on a vid in too long. More bonus vid(s?) coming soon, people! And next one up MAY have JamieTheD! Stay le tuned.
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Sep 19, 2013 20:05
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Ok, so what we set out to do was maybe do a bonus video about a multiplayer match, and what we got is an absolute eye-searing and eye-sizzling experience. Guest starring JamieTheD, who is just as blind as you are (now)! Toxic Grind Part 12: I'd love to have that shirt that color  Text Link Daigerus posted:What am I, some kind of magical art-related genie here to grant your every wish? Well, sorry to dash your expectations, but I only got this crappy sketch thing instead, so there. Like, if Toxic Grind really wants to be extreme, then it needs to ditch the bikes and be more truthful to its actual title. Like it needs some actual toxic grinding, and oh, let's make them (suggestively) naked too to drive up those ratings. Cause that's what that game really needs. And hexagons. You're a beast Daigerus, and that cover has inspired me to go write a 16 minute heavy metal/power flute jam. If you want to be in a video again, that'd be cool. All the rest of you Freekazids DEFRIENDED ME THORNBRAIN WHY Insetik fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Sep 21, 2013 |
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Sep 21, 2013 00:34
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Beautiful.
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Sep 21, 2013 01:00
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I think you should do that for all future multiplayer videos, just to visually metaphorically drive home the point on how bad these games are (or are not sometimes). As for being in a video again, I'm afraid I'll have to pass - I'm just embarrassed listening to my awkward voice and I felt like I wasn't really contributing much in the few times I joined in. I'd rather just lurk mysteriously instead and fart out the occasional fanart now and then, if that's cool with you guys.
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Sep 21, 2013 07:19
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And some people say games can't be art.
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Sep 23, 2013 05:00
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Grope-A-Matic posted:And some people say games can't be art. Oh, if only you knew... ATTENTION: PEOPLE WITH EYES SHOULD TAKE CAUTION WHEN WATCHING THIS NEXT VIDEO. Especially if you're also pregnant. Toxic Grind Part 13: Mr. Insetik's Campaign of  Text Link After seeing how broken the Toxic Grind emulation got, I had to see how far I could get into campaign mode with it glitching out like this. I just...I just had to. This bonus video is all subtitles because doing voice just seemed weird for it. Also, if you really hate Toxic Grind and just want it to be over, all there is left is an Insetsupurae (do I look full of myself if I call them that?) and maybe something small for the make-a-better-plot challenge. About that: IntelligentCalcium, you better write something OR ELSE.
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Sep 23, 2013 19:44
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Ugh god it gave me a headache after about 2 minutes. How did you even record this in the first place?
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Sep 24, 2013 07:24
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Daigerus posted:I'd rather just lurk mysteriously instead and fart out the occasional fanart now and then, if that's cool with you guys. IT'S NOT COOL. I COMMAND YOU THROUGH THE INTERNET TO RECORD WITH US. Fo reelz doe, whatever works for you. Your art is awesome, and if you ever change your mind about wanting in, feel free to ask, open invite. We got one more short bonus for Toxic Grind coming, like Insetik said, and then we're on for the next game.
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Sep 24, 2013 21:17
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And you are not gonna BELIEVE the special guests lined up for the next game(s). Oh ho ho maaan. So many celebs passing through Insetikville, USA.
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Sep 25, 2013 05:49
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Christ all mighty, the directions Toxic Grind has taken since I last checked the thread. The whole 360 backwards compatibility thing is really half-baked, huh? I wonder if glitch effects could be used in a game legitimately (though to a less severe degree than what we have here)? I know that Kane & Lynch 2 had it, but that's sort of a waste of a unique art direction.
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Sep 25, 2013 18:11
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Six Of Spades posted:Christ all mighty, the directions Toxic Grind has taken since I last checked the thread. The whole 360 backwards compatibility thing is really half-baked, huh? Some games quick flashes of someone or something else in them, usually as like "a spooooky meaasge" (Halo 3 and Cortana come to mind) but I can't come up with anything for duplicating your screen, shoving them up on the top third, tthen having a bar of irridescent blue and green in the middle before having a stock ticker of glitchiness on the bottom. (Yes, I know you said 'to a lesser extent') Anyways, it's time to finish off Toxic Grind, move on, and maybe get back to a semi-quick upload schedule. First up: the greatest game review I have ever seen (for Toxic Grind (because there weren't any others)). Toxic Grind retsupurae: This game is just a bike game  Text Link ****************************************************************************************** New game time! Illegal use of a snowball: Let's Play Arctic Thunder  What is this game? Arctic Thunder was an arcade game released by Midway, and is obviously similar to Midway's games Hydro Thunder and Offroad Thunder. Like those, Arctic Thunder is a fast paced racing game, and this one has a ton of weapons and such to use against your opponents to get to the finish like before they can. It was ported to the PS2 and Xbox, and I'm playing the PS2 version. On a scale of 1 to 10, how good is it? I have some nostalgia for this game since I owned it as a kid (then again, that didn't stop me from trashing Dave Mirra 2), and I remember it being a fun, though basic, experience. Of course, the AI somehow magically shoots out in front of you right before the finish line, but you don't need to get first place to unlock anything - The points you get from Points Mode matches count towards getting you more levels and characters. It can be fun to see the level of mayhem going on around you, but even with multiplayer, you might get bored fairly quickly. It's fun, but really, what you see is what you get. 6 or 7 out of 10. Enjoyable timewaster. AND AT LEAST I DON'T NEED TO GET FIRST TO GET NEW STUFF gently caress YOU HYDRO THUNDER WHY ARE YOU SO HARD Arctic Thunder Part 1: Tracks 1-3  Text Link *********************************************************************************** One more thing: this is the first time I used my Elgato capture card to do PS2 and composite input. If the video looks worse than before, tell me and I'll see what I can to in the future. I know I left the bitrate at "480i" and I could have bumped that waaay up, but again, for PS2, I don't know if I need to/should.
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Sep 26, 2013 00:02
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These retsupuraes of reviews of obscure games are always gold material.  The system looks interesting, because you can try to perform rad tricks without risk of failure or interruption, but on the other hand, the risk mostly comes from being targeted and bombarded by every power-up possible, so the main strategy comes from taking out the other players first and racking up health power-ups whenever possible. Also, apparently, getting first place can net you gold medals that unlock special features? Maybe you could show those off for bonus videos?
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Sep 26, 2013 02:49
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Ovues posted:Some games quick flashes of someone or something else in them, usually as like "a spooooky meaasge" (Halo 3 and Cortana come to mind) but I can't come up with anything for duplicating your screen, shoving them up on the top third, tthen having a bar of irridescent blue and green in the middle before having a stock ticker of glitchiness on the bottom. I don't know, I could certainly see them doing something like as one of the sanity effects in Eternal Darkness. They already do things like make roach silhouettes crawl across the screen, pretend to turn the volume of your TV down, and (the one that really got me when I played) accidentally delete your save game (but not really) when you go to save.
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Sep 26, 2013 02:53
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Wow that game is busy as hell.
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Sep 26, 2013 14:09
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Good thing the points are important that winning. For half of that first race all I could see was point pop-ups.
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Sep 26, 2013 15:54
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Daigerus posted:These retsupuraes of reviews of obscure games are always gold material. What causes you to do a trick is going off a ramp and hitting the pink powerup at the top of it. It's not like I push buttons to trick. Also, hitting those pink powerups causes more powerups to spawn on the track. The other riders also respawn like I do, so if I took them all out I'd just be in first and getting shot with everything again (not like that stopped the game from doing that when I was in third or fourth or fifth). I guess I'm not really sure what this 'strategy' you talk about is, because this game has no strategies. Also, I guess I can get first in regular race mode on the first three tracks, but starting with the next video, I think I consistently place fourth or fifth. Those would require a lot more luck, and I'm still kind of iffy on that idea. Mr. Highway posted:Good thing the points are important that winning. For half of that first race all I could see was point pop-ups. If it seems like a problem to people, I could do the videos in regular race mode instead. I just think that the points makes it a bit more exciting and fun, but I see that if you didn't know how the tracks went, you wouldn't get a super clear picture with all the points. Thoughts? Insetik fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Sep 26, 2013 |
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Sep 26, 2013 18:03
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Ovues posted:What causes you to do a trick is going off a ramp and hitting the pink powerup at the top of it. It's not like I push buttons to trick. Also, hitting those pink powerups causes more powerups to spawn on the track. Really? That makes doing tricks seem almost like an afterthought then if it's done automatically like that. And when you put it that way, the game feels like a crapshoot. As if the game is too frantic and chaotic to properly keep track, having too many power-ups when most similar games would space them out. Ovues posted:If it seems like a problem to people, I could do the videos in regular race mode instead. I just think that the points makes it a bit more exciting and fun, but I see that if you didn't know how the tracks went, you wouldn't get a super clear picture with all the points. Thoughts? The power-ups were a bit distracting, yes, but not enough to block the view of the tracks, in my opinion. I'd say to just keep going with what you have.
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Sep 26, 2013 22:01
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Ovues posted:If it seems like a problem to people, I could do the videos in regular race mode instead. I just think that the points makes it a bit more exciting and fun, but I see that if you didn't know how the tracks went, you wouldn't get a super clear picture with all the points. Thoughts? I say keep them. They're a little distracting but not enough for it to detract from the videos. Plus, they help separate this game from the others.
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Sep 27, 2013 03:28
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spamman posted:Wow that game is busy as hell. After so many kind of desolate games, it's a bit of a whiplash, isn't it?
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Sep 27, 2013 05:22
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What's this?? Discussion in the thread?Daigerus posted:These retsupuraes of reviews of obscure games are always gold material. That's good to hear. Insetik and I are usually rather worried that people don't find them funny. Though negative feedback is welcome too, as long as it's constructive. Daigerus posted:Also, apparently, getting first place can net you gold medals that unlock special features? Maybe you could show those off for bonus videos? We'll see if it's do-able. I haven't played, so I wouldn't know how hard the tracks are.
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Sep 27, 2013 16:03
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I only remember this being in arcades. It had an air conditioner on it that never stopped, I think I got a cold from that drat game. I wanted to like so badly cause I loved Hydro Thunder.
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Sep 28, 2013 00:21
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Points mode it is then. On to the next three tracks, where an existential question is thrown in this game's way. Whatever your answer is, I'm still doing this game, since it'll only be 4-5 videos long. Arctic Thunder Part 2: Tracks 4-6  Text Link
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Sep 30, 2013 22:23
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Oh god, fitting games into genres. Well I guess the important question here is: Do you consider Snowboard Kids to be an extreme sports ganme? By definition it fits better than Arctic Thunder does.
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Sep 30, 2013 22:35
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Blanktester, racing is a sport. This is extreme(ly busy). Quod Erat Demonstratum, and other phrases that make me seem both old and wise. ...Insetik, please continue telling us about the tracks. Also, you poach my Wipeout with the revelation that racing is a sport, I shall run you over in a Qirex. Repeatedly. Or get you MX Vs ATV Reloaded, and laugh at your suffering. I'm not sure which is more cruel.
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Sep 30, 2013 22:46
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Ahahaha you actually posted this video? I thought for sure you were going to throw out the audio from that session. Also my nachos got all cold and soggy thanks guys ugh.
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Sep 30, 2013 23:11
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JamieTheD posted:Blanktester, racing is a sport. This is extreme(ly busy). Quod Erat Demonstratum, and other phrases that make me seem both old and wise. Uhh, Swiss Alps is pretty sweet, Haunted Forest is like 15/10 spookometer, Alaskan Pipeline is fine too? Is that what you meant, or should I give, like, my racing lines as well? Because I can totally get, like, at least sixth place eventually. Six Of Spades posted:Oh god, fitting games into genres. Catsworth never returned my calls, I was totally down to Snowboard with them kids when that LP was going on. Those games were great and were super extreme. Most extreme games I ever played until I played Twisted Edge and got to do even more tricks than before. Insetik fucked around with this message at 01:03 on Oct 1, 2013 |
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Oct 1, 2013 01:01
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Honestly, even if this isn't an extreme sports game, it's still nice to see a game where there's so much going on, just as a palate cleanser before whatever the next bland terrible thing you get is.
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Oct 2, 2013 18:10
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On the next video of Arctic Thunder, it's another three tracks that we just have to grin and bear. Arctic Thunder Part 3: Tracks 7-9  Text Link Also, it's probably time that I start playing the next game or two, and I might try streaming that on Sunday or so. I'm thinking about maybe getting wet and wild with Kelly Slater Pro Surfer, and maybe a bit of Splashdown 2 on the side if my fear of the open ocean is just too much. Also blanktester bought me Wave Rally but that just looks boring. I might not really have a time figured out that day until later, because I have things to do then, but it still might fun so I'll give it a shot. I'm thinking maybe starting 7-8 PM Central Time, and I'll try to get blanktester there to liven up the party.
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Oct 5, 2013 00:56
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Woooow look at you, man, with your fancy video editing effects! Also I guess I completely missed that this was an arcade title because yeah that pretty much seals BT's call that it's not an extreme sports game so much as just a racing game. You can punch people off their vehicles in Road Rash too but I wouldn't call that an extreme sports game.
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Oct 5, 2013 01:10
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| # ? May 16, 2024 09:34 |
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Snowmobile racing is in the winter X-games so I think this can count as an extreme sports game. Agreed that's it's an excellent change up from the recent batch too.
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Oct 5, 2013 09:57
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