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paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
I vote that we cry. Really loudly. It'll make things so awkward that he'll give us water just so he can get out of there.

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Walkin Goon
Apr 4, 2011
Quetion for Diog: how much time has passed since our meeting with Azzarel?

Old Azzy is probably fine with trying to keep us from making progress, so as to make his bargain of water and food even more alluring in this dry desert. If that's the case, it might be better off leaving now, or maybe trying to get him to walk and talk with us. Even if he won't, it wouldn't surprise me if he pops up again to try take advantage of any desperation.

Also, Snarls is still fairly little and light-weight right? I vote we carry our dog for most of our walk through the desert. Traveling will take a much harder toll on him than us with our nifty sandals.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

You have been out here about an hour. Snarls is a little bit over five years old and weighs about 50 pounds.

Voting is closed.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
Something to note in the future:

Carrying Snarls all the way is silly. What we should do is carry him 1 mile, then have him walk a mile. Distance can be changed around as we see fit.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
Then he carries us for a mile. It's only fair.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

Something to note in the future:

Carrying Snarls all the way is silly. What we should do is carry him 1 mile, then have him walk a mile. Distance can be changed around as we see fit.

I was thinking the same thing and that we might be able to fashion some sort of carrying sling out of our clothes.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
Make a baby sling to carry Snarls! It will be adorable.

spacetimecontinuu
Dec 31, 2004
Snarls is a dog. Dogs can travel reaaaaally far distances without resting. Just ask Snarls if it would be a big deal for him to walk the distance with us.

Mexican Deathgasm
Aug 17, 2010

Ramrod XTreme
I vote that we carry Snarls. Hopefully our sandals will help.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Azzazel's tone has changed markedly at the mention of Ishamal, less maniacal and taunting and genuine, or faked-genuine enthusiasm.

"I decline to answer" you say with a grin.



"Oh come on! Don't be like that! It's been an age since I saw him, literally, an age, I think so anyway, it could have been two, I have not been back to check in a while and they may have changed the count again."

"It will cost you" you say.

"Seriously, Creature-" the first possibly non slanderous term Azzazel has used for you "level with me, it's just us out here and I don't want to get in trouble anyway. Do you really know Ishamal?"

You grin and rub two fingers together.

"Oh you little...!" Azzazel laughs and
waves a hand, the ground shakes slightly and several large palm trees burst out of the ground and springs up around you, shading the two of you and Snarls, an oasis forms around it.





A small monkey climbs down from the top of the tree and hands Azzazel a coconut filled with some sort of juice, the monkey scampers back up the tree and offers you one as well, a reed straw exactly like the sorts used in Zepath sticks out.





Azzazel leans over the table. "Come on now! Tell me everything! Does he still make those ridiculous citrus drinks? Who is he wooing? Where is he about now a days?"


1. As to the coconut drink you...
A. Take it and drink it.
B. Take it but save it for later.
D. Politely decline.
E. Something else.


2. As to the far more important question of Ishamal you...
A. Blow this clown off and walk away.
B. I tell him all about Ishamal, hoping to garner Azzazel's good will, I don't ask for anything up front.
C. If he agrees to my price, I tell him all about Ishamal.
D. If he agrees to my price, I tell him all about Ishamal, but not where he is.
E. If he agrees to my price, I make up plausible lies about Ishamal.
F. If he agrees to my price, I make up ridiculously over the top lies about Ishamal, "Tudiya" style, i.e., he killed a million billion raging demons, while he himself was on fire.
G. Something else, fill in.



3. If you voted to trade with him above(Anything but A) in exchange you ask for... Pick as many as you want...

A. Enough water for you for three days, so you can reach the small forest Snarl indicated has water in it.

B. Enough water for Snarls for three days.

C. Food for you for three days.

D. Food for snarls for three days.

E. All of the above.

F. Enough water for you for a month.

G. Enough water for Snarls for a month.

H. Food for you for a month.

I. Food for Snarls for a month.

J. All of the above.

K. ...and a flint and iron to start fires.

L. ...and a weapon.

M. ...and something I can use as an awesome offering to El when this is done.

N. ...AND I want to go to Azzazel's place and party for a month!

O. A clear, no nonsense answer to a specific question, fill in.

P. Just leave me this oasis! I can handle the rest

Q. Something else. Fill in.




Someone pointed out that dogs are used to "rough living".

Walking through an arid land with no food or water for two or three days is not "rough living". Snarls is not a wolf living in a an alpine forest in winter, kept warm by his coat, he is a dog in a very hot place.





Snarls may very well be your best and most trustworthy friend and/or pet. He is there to wake you with happy wagging tail and so exubberant to see you when you wake up each morning that he may very well have feared you had gone away forever. When you do part from him and he sees you again, he is so overjoyed to see you that he might wag his tail off. He usually climbs into your covers at night. While Danal may at least occasionally disagree with you on what to do or complain when he is bored, Snarls never complains, he seems to simply revel in your very presence and love you with every ounce of his doggy heart.



Whose a good boy!? Yes you are! Oh yes you are!


[Wag wag wag, pant pant pant, Leaps on you for slobbery excited kiss!]


Yet Snarls is a dog... and while he may be a little over 5 years old and healthy, he is not going to live forever. You may for a moment, either now, or in the recent past, briefly considered this fact, when you did.

4. When you thought about it, how upset were you, on a scale of one to ten?

For values on the scale:
One - Not bothered at all

Nine - SNARLS!! NOOO!!!! *sobs inconsolably*

Ten - YOU SON OF A BITCH! DON'T EVEN SUGGEST THAT! I AM GENUINELY ANGRY YOU WOULD EVEN TALK ABOUT THAT YOU MOTHERF###ER! SNARLS WILL LIVE FOREVER!!!

Two through eight represent everything in between.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 00:43 on Oct 1, 2013

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

1. A
2. D - I'm assuming that if he wanted to be found, his whereabouts would likely be known to Azz already.
3. A + O
I'll save the actual question for someone who knows a good question to ask, but, I am in favor of information.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
1. B Wait until we really need it, in case we don't get anything else.

2. D He sounds friendly but don't give the location away.

3. A + B Let's not get greedy.

dyzzy fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Sep 30, 2013

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

dyzzy posted:

1. B Wait until we really need it, in case we don't get anything else.

2. D He sounds friendly but don't give the location away.

3. A + B Let's not get greedy.

This is fine with me for now.

Ishamal is Ishamal, still makes those drinks, saved me from crazy cannibals as a youth. If you know him you know he likes to wander around for extended periods of time. I haven't seen him in a bit, and wouldn't tell me where he was going. You know how he is.


Changing vote to Plan OhYo

HiHo ChiRho fucked around with this message at 00:10 on Oct 1, 2013

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
EDIT: Switched to a version of Plan OhYo, which could still end up here, but seems a better, simpler starting place.


So maybe this is:
1-E take the coconut, but only give him "haha, yes he still makes those fruity drinks"
2-D tell him the story of our rescue as a comedy per below, but hold back any and all other info. Dribs and drabs as if there were going to be a payoff. Never mention specific locations. Never mention Tudiya.
3-L. A weapon, but I honestly don't know. Anything he gives us is very likely to have a catch. Here is enough food. Poof! Some completely useless or life threatening form. Fine keep the Oasis. It is infested with poisonous snakes and scorpions. Answers to questions will be misleading. A strung, useable bow and supply of arrows might be the best bet since we are likely to cause suffering and mayhem over time with it at some point.

Note: we have reason to believe he can teach 'magic'. Another option is to have him teach us how to properly invoke fire using 'Vahayi Or'. Or to give us knowledge of that language.

We probably need to determine the worth of the information, unless we are just walking off. He is really interested and I may like this Azzazel even less.

If we decide to trade we could do the following:

1- Haha! Yes, he still makes those fruity drinks. What the hell are those anyway? (potentially risky since the drink may actually offer us some protection from or vulnerabiliity to Azzazel of which we are unaware). This would constitute a first trade for the coco water or something (which we might give to Snarls). This constitutes one 'successful' trade.

2- Offer to trade him a story for X. We have heard countless stories. We should be able to tell a pretty good one, but close to the truth. If he agrees...

3. Tell him the story of our 'fight' with Asherah. Bones:
- this is one of the times Ishamal managed to keep us from killing ourselves
- we were held in captivity
- skip details of rescue (do not mention Tudiya, ever)
- on the journey we were beset by local monsters
- maybe we did a little blood ritual invoking Asherah. We might have. You know, just a small one.
- this did not exactly work out as planned, though flying was a very novel experience for us.
- Ishamal, as we recall, said "you are foolish enough to die, but far to young".
- details of our rescue related humourosly, making us out to be that very fool, replete with Ishamal calling lightning and such.
- possibly reference to our dream, how many times Ishamal has saved our bacon when we have knocked ourself unconscious (haha) and speaking with Asherah to see if he lets anything slip

All told in an offhand comical matter, as if it were only one of several such escapades. Observe him very closely for any reactions at all as we have learned to do attending Tudiya's King Stuff.

This is a 1001 and One Nights strategy and we will have to be very careful. I have no idea what we should barter for, but somewhere in between everything and nothing, starting on the high end. He is definitely interested, for better or worse.

When this trade is done, we should yawn and say "you know its been great getting to know you, but we have a month of deprivation and starvation to get on with, so we probably ought to get going. Do stop by though. Lovely chatting".

Hopefully he will want more info at this point. Meat it out in drabs, with no significant details given. Each story constitutes a trade for as long as we feel its safe and we end it when it is not.

This gives him some information, but make that mostly about us.

Sogol fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Oct 1, 2013

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe
1B: We can give it to Ishamal later and tell him it was from "an old friend."
2D
3Q: The water gourd, but refilled with the amount of water we originally found with it.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
BDE Enough to get us and our buddy where we were going, while avoiding trouble down the line.

For some reason I imagine Azzazel as sounding and talking like Sheogorath in Skyrim.

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
1E. Feed the coconut drink to Snarls. Cure first what kills first.
2G. We'll tell him whatever he wants to know, but not where Ishamal currently resides. Free of charge.

I suspect that if we ask for a month's supply of water, he'll fulfill the wish the same way a cursed monkey palm would and just dump a sixty liter water balloon on our head.

Zybourne Clock fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Oct 1, 2013

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

1:E Give the drink to Snarls.
2:B
3:B

Let's be chill.

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

We should definitely NOT mention that he makes fruity drinks because that might reveal that we must also have consumed said fruity drink. We have no idea what the consequences of doing so were yet, so it's important that we keep our mouth shut about it.

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

by Fluffdaddy
Plan Sogol gets my vote once again, he's a clever one.

With the addition that if we're talking about Ishmael, that we might throw out that Azzazeal might want to visit sometime. Observe his reaction to see if he's on friendly terms or not. Anyways it should tell us more about our (exiled?) winged person.

Also, bargain for one of his feathers to bring back if we have enough leverage. Noone will fuckin' believe this and it'll make a nice trophy for the temple.

Grognan fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Sep 30, 2013

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

UnassemblyRequired posted:

We should definitely NOT mention that he makes fruity drinks because that might reveal that we must also have consumed said fruity drink. We have no idea what the consequences of doing so were yet, so it's important that we keep our mouth shut about it.

Another option is to say: haha.. (Unspecified) yeh. "Spit death in the eye!" And toast Azzazel with the coconut. He will certainly recognize this as a Ishamalism. Others are 'never pass up the chance to eat, drink or gently caress', etc., and those can be 'safely' used.

Sogol fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Sep 30, 2013

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

1. B
2. G, same as B without mention of our magical experiences, fruity drinks, or his location. Discuss him as impersonally as possible.
3. E


Changing my vote to plan OhYo!

There Bias Two fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Oct 1, 2013

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

Oh wow. We could ask about Ishamal. Or our Father. Or Labaras. Or magic. Or Asherah! Or the answer to the question we would want to remember the answer too if we temporarily knew everything Azzazel knew. I think knowing who our father was/is is the most important question we could ask. But there are so many other important questions, some of which could be much more helpful...

A Terrible Person posted:

1B: We can give it to Ishamal later and tell him it was from "an old friend."
2D

I like this part

3. B + O We want to know everything about Azzazel's interactions with Labaras, especially what caused Labaras to go on his quests and allowed him to succeed.


Sogol's plan to drop Ishamal sayings so Azzie knows we're on the level is a good one.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer
We have to watch about asking Azzazel about things because that would constitute him giving us something.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

A Terrible Person posted:

1B: We can give it to Ishamal later and tell him it was from "an old friend."

If we do this, we should say that we're saving it to show Ishamal the next time we see him.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer

A Terrible Person posted:

1B: We can give it to Ishamal later and tell him it was from "an old friend."
2D
3Q: The water gourd, but refilled with the amount of water we originally found with it.

I like this plan.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

100 HOGS AGREE posted:

We have to watch about asking Azzazel about things because that would constitute him giving us something.

Well, plus any answer he gives us is more or less certain to be designed to cause as much suffering and mayhem as possible. Likely 'true' in some way, but misleading in every other possible way.

OhYo
Apr 14, 2006

I. Don't tell Azzazel about Ishamal without Ishamal's consent.
II. Don't make deals with "demons."

1. As to the coconut drink you...
D. Politely decline. - SHOW THAT WE GIVE, WE DON'T TAKE.

2. As to the far more important question of Ishamal you...
A. Blow this clown off and walk away. +
G. "Maybe later. Now leave us alone." And then walk away. - IF HE REALLY WANTS THE INFO, HE'LL WAIT TILL AFTER OUR MANHOOD-TRIAL TO BE COMPLETED

3. If you voted to trade with him above(Anything but A) in exchange you ask for...
Q. Absolutely Nothing, only that he leaves us alone. - WE'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THIS GUY AROUND.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer

OhYo posted:

I. Don't tell Azzazel about Ishamal without Ishamal's consent.
II. Don't make deals with "demons."

1. As to the coconut drink you...
D. Politely decline. - SHOW THAT WE GIVE, WE DON'T TAKE.

2. As to the far more important question of Ishamal you...
A. Blow this clown off and walk away. +
G. "Maybe later. Now leave us alone." And then walk away. - IF HE REALLY WANTS THE INFO, HE'LL WAIT TILL AFTER OUR MANHOOD-TRIAL TO BE COMPLETED

3. If you voted to trade with him above(Anything but A) in exchange you ask for...
Q. Absolutely Nothing, only that he leaves us alone. - WE'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THIS GUY AROUND.

I like this even better.

OhYo
Apr 14, 2006

RandomPauI posted:

I like this even better.

Like it if you want, but it's the first step to ENTRAP him.

Diogines posted:

"level with me, it's just us out here and I don't want to get in trouble anyway. Do you really know Ishamal?"

There are consequences for him, we just need to put him under them and press the magic button, whatever that might be.

The FIRST step in doing that is playing coy and not accepting any of his bribes.

E:

quote:

[15:40:18] <OhYo> He'll want to keep US alive
[15:40:26] <HiHoChiRho> hah
[15:40:27] <OhYo> if we die, he loses Ishamal
[15:40:32] <HiHoChiRho> i like that

HBar
Sep 13, 2007



OhYo knows what's up.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
Voting plan OhYo.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

OhYo posted:

I. Don't tell Azzazel about Ishamal without Ishamal's consent.
II. Don't make deals with "demons."

1. As to the coconut drink you...
D. Politely decline. - SHOW THAT WE GIVE, WE DON'T TAKE.

2. As to the far more important question of Ishamal you...
A. Blow this clown off and walk away. +
G. "Maybe later. Now leave us alone." And then walk away. - IF HE REALLY WANTS THE INFO, HE'LL WAIT TILL AFTER OUR MANHOOD-TRIAL TO BE COMPLETED

3. If you voted to trade with him above(Anything but A) in exchange you ask for...
Q. Absolutely Nothing, only that he leaves us alone. - WE'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THIS GUY AROUND.

I am switching to Plan OhYo with two minor alterations.

The coconut was freely given. Give it to Snarls.

Be polite and light.

'Hahaha. Ishamal. Spit in the eye of death! Speaking of which we have a busy month ahead of starvation, thirst, hallucination and likely death. We should probably be getting on with that. Lovely chatting. Maybe we can swap Ishamal stories later if we survive, when our schedule frees up a bit. C'mon Snarls. We got a long walk ahead and it is not going to walk itself."

Make to leave and see what he does.

Sogol fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Oct 1, 2013

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
Guys we have the chance to get to water without risk of us or Snarls dying and parting amicably with this guy without giving up much, why the hell should we toss that away? Diog has made it pretty clear that Snarls probably won't make it to those trees in the distance.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

paragon1 posted:

Guys we have the chance to get to water without risk of us or Snarls dying and parting amicably with this guy without giving up much, why the hell should we toss that away? Diog has made it pretty clear that Snarls probably won't make it to those trees in the distance.

Plan OhYo is a 'semi bluff'. If he does not respond then we really just do it. That is not 'ideal' perhaps, but it frees us of his imagined leverage and is where we started anyway. If we take the 'freely given' coconut for Snarls we have come out ahead by this and spending some time in the shade resting.

It is likely that he will respond, improving our position and opening more choices, which we will then have to consider. This tests exactly how much he values Ishamal info and the general now background 'goat' thing.

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.

OhYo posted:

1. As to the coconut drink you...
D. Politely decline. - SHOW THAT WE GIVE, WE DON'T TAKE.

2. As to the far more important question of Ishamal you...
A. Blow this clown off and walk away. +
G. "Maybe later. Now leave us alone." And then walk away. - IF HE REALLY WANTS THE INFO, HE'LL WAIT TILL AFTER OUR MANHOOD-TRIAL TO BE COMPLETED

3. If you voted to trade with him above(Anything but A) in exchange you ask for...
Q. Absolutely Nothing, only that he leaves us alone. - WE'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THIS GUY AROUND.

I'm switching to this. 30 days might as well be the blink of an eye when compared to the period of time Azzazel's been waiting. It gives him a reason not to send the water and beasts away, too, if he's sincere. I also agree with Sogol to remain polite under all circumstances.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Someone pointed out that dogs are used to "rough living".

Walking through an arid land with no food or water for two or three days is not "rough living". Snarls is not a wolf living in a an alpine forest in winter, kept warm by his coat, he is a dog in a very hot place.





Snarls may very well be your best and most trustworthy friend and/or pet. He is there to wake you with happy wagging tail and so exubberant to see you when you wake up each morning that he may very well have feared you had gone away forever. When you do part from him and he sees you again, he is so overjoyed to see you that he might wag his tail off. He usually climbs into your covers at night. While Danal may at least occasionally disagree with you on what to do or complain when he is bored, Snarls never complains, he seems to simply revel in your very presence and love you with every ounce of his doggy heart.



Whose a good boy!? Yes you are! Oh yes you are!


[Wag wag wag, pant pant pant, Leaps on you for slobbery excited kiss!]


Yet Snarls is a dog... and while he may be a little over 5 years old and healthy, he is not going to live forever. You may for a moment, either now, or in the recent past, briefly considered this fact, when you did.

4. When you thought about it, how upset were you, on a scale of one to ten?

For values on the scale:
One - Not bothered at all

Nine - SNARLS!! NOOO!!!! *sobs inconsolably*

Ten - YOU SON OF A BITCH! DON'T EVEN SUGGEST THAT! I AM GENUINELY ANGRY YOU WOULD EVEN TALK ABOUT THAT YOU MOTHERF###ER! SNARLS WILL LIVE FOREVER!!!

Two through eight represent everything in between.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
Ten Because I've already had too many experiences with death.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
9+

(I came very close in RL to being carted off to jail because of my response to someone striking my dog. State Troopers were involved. Snarls would be an even cooler dog and that was a very cool dog.)

Sogol fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Oct 1, 2013

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SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




RandomPauI posted:

Ten Because I've already had too many experiences with death.

Ten obviously.

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