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Ellie Crabcakes
Feb 1, 2008

Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Remulak posted:

Some are, but prosecutors are all evil and you're just handing one a slam dump felony.
That's just a damp squid.

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twosideddice
Jan 7, 2009

Crikey, get down off of your peddle stool

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
I recall reading an article a while ago about a guy who found a gun while digging for something in his backyard. He brought it to the police station and got arrested. Dunno if he was charged or did any time as I can't find that article right now, but talking to a lawyer before the cops is definitely the prudent approach.

SomeJazzyRat
Nov 2, 2012

Hmmm...

mobby_6kl posted:

I recall reading an article a while ago about a guy who found a gun while digging for something in his backyard. He brought it to the police station and got arrested. Dunno if he was charged or did any time as I can't find that article right now, but talking to a lawyer before the cops is definitely the prudent approach.

If I remember that was specifically 'cause it was found in the UK. So it makes a little bit more sense due to their stricter gun laws.

djssniper
Jan 10, 2003


mobby_6kl posted:

I recall reading an article a while ago about a guy who found a gun while digging for something in his backyard. He brought it to the police station and got arrested. Dunno if he was charged or did any time as I can't find that article right now, but talking to a lawyer before the cops is definitely the prudent approach.

http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Ex-soldier-faces-jail-handing-gun/story-12659234-detail/story.html

Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

SomeJazzyRat posted:

If I remember that was specifically 'cause it was found in the UK. So it makes a little bit more sense due to their stricter gun laws.

Here's one that happened here.

Guy's living in Colorado. He buys three handguns, legally, has a background check and everything. He moves back home to New Jersey so he can live closer to his son, and before he moves he calls up the NJ police to find out how he can transport them legally. He has the guns locked in his trunk, unloaded, not accessible from inside the vehicle, and is transporting them from one residence to another, which is *entirely legal*.

Stops by his mom's house to pick up a few belongings, and she notices that he's upset about his relationship with his ex-wife. He leaves and starts driving to his new place in Hoboken. Mom gets briefly worried enough about him to call 911, worried that he might be suicidally depressed, and then things better of it and hangs up before the call goes through. The police show up at her place anyway, and talk to her, she tells them why she called, they call him up on his cell phone and ask him to turn around and head back to his mother's place, and he does. When they show up, they search his car and arrest him for illegal possession of handguns.

Again, there is a clear exemption in NJ law for transporting your guns between residences. But the judge didn't even allow him to argue that before the jury. The jury, during the trial, asked three times if there were exceptions to the law, the judge would not inform them as to whether there were or weren't. The judge did not allow him to even mention the fact that he called the cops to ask them how he could legally transport his guns within New Jersey. So the jury convicted him and sentenced him to seven years. Chris Christie commuted the guy's sentence, and the judge is no longer on the bench (not because of this, but because of a different case where he dismissed animal cruelty charges against a cop who stuck his dick in the mouths of five cows because he ruled there was no way of knowing that the cows had in fact been "tormented" by his actions), but a guy who did things legally, reached out to the cops to make sure he was doing things legally, and only drew the cops' attention because his mother was briefly worried about him and wanted to make sure he was okay, still had to go through legal hell and still has a conviction on his record; commutation is not the same thing as a pardon.

Do not listen to Captain Postal. Do not call the cops and say "Hey, what should I do with this machine gun I found in the attic?" The legal system is capable of being Kafkaesque enough that you don't want to get within a mile of it, even before you get guns involved. The BATF at one point issued a ruling that copper wool scouring pads are, legally, regulated as firearms and subject to a $200 transfer tax, and at another point issued a ruling that a 14" length of shoestring is a machine-gun. Several years ago a small library in Massachusetts discovered that, in its attic, a machine gun that Sgt. York, Sgt. Alvin motherfucking York, captured in the action he was the Medal of Honor for. That's a priceless historical find, and ATF wanted to destroy it, because (a) it had never been registered and (b)it could not now be registered and therefore there was no legal way to possess it. So getting your heirloom destroyed is the *best possible outcome* of calling the cops.

http://articles.philly.com/2010-11-30/news/24954457_1_animal-cruelty-case-gun-laws-legal-team
http://www.itemlive.com/news/nahant-library-would-like-to-sell-historic-wwi-machine-gun/article_9cec4b21-1797-588b-99ce-115133dd7e40.html

Pitch
Jun 16, 2005

しらんけど

Phanatic posted:

Again, there is a clear exemption in NJ law for transporting your guns between residences. But the judge didn't even allow him to argue that before the jury.
That's because he had been "moving" for months, and left the guns in his car the entire time. That's not kosher.

AlternateAccount
Apr 25, 2005
FYGM
Why did he even consent to a search? Is someone saying, "They have a gun in their car!" probable cause for one?

u fink u hard Percy
Sep 14, 2007

Also police run gun amnesty campaigns that are just that: amnesty from prosecution.

Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Pitch posted:

That's because he had been "moving" for months, and left the guns in his car the entire time. That's not kosher.

I'm not interested in turning this into a DND subforum, but that is the sort of thing that is entirely a matter of fact to be decided by the jury, not a matter of law to be decided by a judge.

But I'll go into some detail on the gun itself, since it's neat, and obsolete/failed as hell. Here's what it would look like all cleaned up:



Lockmat mentioned that he heard they were supposed to be used in planes and that's why the magazine has those cutaways, but unfortunately that's not true and doesn't let the designer off the hook. They *were* used in that role, but the original intent of the R&D program was for a light, aircooled machinegun that could easily be carried by a single person, enabling him to advance during assaults with the weapon; heavier tripod-mounted guns aren't suited for that.

The gun was, even at best, something of a piece of poo poo. One of the companies that manufactured them, which built auto parts before the war, consistently misaligned the sights. And even if you did have corrected sights, the bipod was very loose, so it was really difficult to keep on target and very fatiguing to fire.

If you could get it to fire. Even before we get to the magazine, this gun operates off the long-recoil system, which means that the the barrel recoils along with the bolt, being driven back against a spring. At the rearward limit of travel, the bolt locks to the rear, and the spring drives the barrel forward again. That means the barrel is moving back and forth within that outer, perforated aluminum sleeve. Fire too many rounds too fast, and the barrel would expand too much and lock itself in place within that sleeve until it cooled off. Okay, you're not really supposed to do that, you're just supposed to fire it in short bursts and not cut loose for two minutes at a time. So this didn't cause most of the stoppages it was plagued with.

And yeah, most of them were the fault of the magazines. In addition to the problem of dirt and muck getting in through the holes, they were just really cheap, stamped metal parts, and it was the easiest thing in the world to bang one against something and deform it enough for it to stop feeding, even if you kept it immaculately clean. The solution was to manufacture new magazines without those problems, but hey there's this war on and eventually they got around to doing that in 1918.

But even with all that, it would probably just be another forgettable lovely gun, of which there have been a lot. It took the involvement of the USA to elevate this to an unholy disaster of a weapon. The US troops showed up in Europe without any light machine guns, so they borrowed a bunch of Chauchats and had the same mediocre-at-best results. But they also wanted to buy new ones, but chambered for the .30-06 cartridge the American military used in just about everything. So a French manufacturer dutifully churned out 18,000 of them.

And those 18,000 guns, every last one of them, just did not work. At all. The French manufacturer screwed up the chamber dimensions, and the American inspectors at the factory didn't notice, so you'd get a couple or even a few rounds out of the gun and then it would heat up a bit and then it would completely fail to extract the empty case and you'd be left with a metal club. US troops who were issued the things would promptly lose them and scrounge a weapon that they could actually fire. Eventually they were abandoned in exchange for the Browning Automatic Rifle, which the French took one look at and said "We'll take 15,000 of them!" But that was late in the war, and by the time barely 10,000 BARs had been produced there was the Armistice. But *that* gun was still being produced by the tens of thousands during the Korean War, and was still in use during Vietnam. So that one might be obsolete, but it wasn't a failure.

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands

College Slice

Phanatic posted:

The BATF at one point issued a ruling that copper wool scouring pads are, legally, regulated as firearms and subject to a $200 transfer tax, and at another point issued a ruling that a 14" length of shoestring is a machine-gun.

Yeah, gonna have to ask for a citation on this.

Arrath
Apr 14, 2011


A Pinball Wizard posted:

Yeah, gonna have to ask for a citation on this.



They later reevaluated their decision and decided that a shoe lace, on its own, does not constitute a machine gun. If you add one to a firearm like so:



Then its a machine gun.

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands

College Slice
So "solely and exclusively" are just meaningless words over in TFR-land? :allears:

Arrath
Apr 14, 2011


It all depends on the phase of the moon and position of the planets when you ask the ATF. They'll get a letter like that back to you eventually. Later on they'll reexamine and probably contradict it. :iiam: what goes on in there, really.

So yes, there was, at one point, a 14-inch piece of shoe lace that was a machine gun.

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

A Pinball Wizard posted:

So "solely and exclusively" are just meaningless words over in TFR-land? :allears:

You have to remember they live in a world where machinations to take their guns are 24/7.

That thing really clearly says 'solely and exclusively designed' meaning no, a shoelace on your shoe is not a machine gun, but one wrapped around a trigger and poo poo is.


Arrath posted:

It all depends on the phase of the moon and position of the planets when you ask the ATF. They'll get a letter like that back to you eventually. Later on they'll reexamine and probably contradict it. :iiam: what goes on in there, really.

So yes, there was, at one point, a 14-inch piece of shoe lace that was a machine gun.

How many people were arrested for Possession of Shoelace without that lace being actively used in a gun modification?

Shugojin
Sep 6, 2007

THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...


Truly, the power of the legislator is a strange and mysterious one.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


Did that guy in TFR ever get a letter of clarification from the ATF on the hamster-wheel-powered machine gun?

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

Shugojin posted:

Truly, the power of the legislator is a strange and mysterious one.

Sane legislation is my favorite obsolete and failed technology!

:freep:

Brother Jonathan
Jun 23, 2008
Take the gun chat (chauchat chat :haw:) to TFR. You've been discussing gun laws for a page now. This thread is for technology.

Opinion Haver
Apr 9, 2007

Someone linked me to a small article about how the NES Game Genie decoded its codes.

Grumbletron 4000
Nov 30, 2002

Where you want it, bitch.
College Slice

Phanatic posted:

I'll go into some detail on the gun itself, since it's neat, and obsolete/failed as hell. Here's what it would look like all cleaned up:



Great post! This sort of stuff is very interesting. I'd love to hear more about obsolete and/or terrible guns weapons and military equipment.

XBurritoXLogicX
Jun 26, 2005

by T. Finninho

Grumbletron 4000 posted:

Great post! This sort of stuff is very interesting. I'd love to hear more about obsolete and/or terrible guns weapons and military equipment.

I'll take a small crack at this! I have very limited information, mostly just books in the sale section of bookstores, so I'm no expert.



This is the Sizaire-Berwick Armoured Car- AKA the "WindWagon". It was built by the RAF around 1915 in response to the Royal Navys armoured Seabrook Armoured Car:



The best description I have seen in the few books mainstream books that mention them: "If the navy wanted to build a warship with wheels, the airforce would respond with a ground-borne fighter aircraft"

Now, both had their problems, but the SB Armoured Car would have been completely worthless in a fight. Its only armament is the .303 machine gun in the passengers seat- notice it has limited horizontal traverse and no vertical. You might as well run over anything you were trying to kill.

But honestly, the most baffling is the armor. I don't know exactly how thick it was, but it leaves the radiator and engine completely exposed. I'm pretty sure rifles of the day could disable the engine, and I KNOW they could puncture the radiator. This thing would have been dead and stranded as soon as it saw action.

I won't talk poo poo about the fact that it used a airplane motor and propeller to move. Because that's awesome.


Oh, also from a British dude:

All I know is that his name was F.R.Simms, the war machine was called the "Armoured Quadricycle" and he could have ruled the world.


Edit 1: To be fair, the SB Armoured Car was meant to be a scout vehicle but if a single shot can stop that, well, no good.

Edit 2: should we make a new thread? Military technology is full of AWESOME failed technology, but this thread is a lot more focused on electronics. I would love to post more, just need to know where.

XBurritoXLogicX has a new favorite as of 07:33 on Oct 5, 2013

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Okay, this is exceedingly stupid. I can see somebody designing this and thinking it's somehow a good idea, but what sort of nepotism was at play here that allowed it to actually be made?

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer

Wanamingo posted:

Okay, this is exceedingly stupid. I can see somebody designing this and thinking it's somehow a good idea, but what sort of nepotism was at play here that allowed it to actually be made?

Yeah, jesus- were there a bunch of spare airplane engines laying around they needed to use or something?

Why?

Grumbletron 4000
Nov 30, 2002

Where you want it, bitch.
College Slice
That armored car rocks. One of my favorites is the Vespa 150 TAP. It's basically a scooter with a 75mm cannon strapped to it.



Designed during the cold war for French paratroopers. Unfortunately the gun is meant to be removed and mounted on a tripod before use. I prefer to imagine hundreds of screaming Frenchmen hurtling out of the clouds raining scooter death down on the enemy.

Sadly the wiki on this magnificent beast isnt very detailed.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vespa_150_TAP

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009

Gehenomm
May 1, 2008

Ask me about hitting on mathematicians.
So yea, i think we need a "weird poo poo the military came up with" thread.

IŽll be gathering pics and info for it meanwhile.

Grumbletron 4000
Nov 30, 2002

Where you want it, bitch.
College Slice
EPG's "My tank is fight" front page articles and book covered a lot of the more well known examples of military insanity. Definitely worth looking up.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

XBurritoXLogicX posted:

I'll take a small crack at this! I have very limited information, mostly just books in the sale section of bookstores, so I'm no expert.



The Soviets took the idea and ran with it. Enter, the Aerosan!



Yup, it's a propeller powered snowmobile. They also made armoured ones for combat and medical personnel.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

German prototype 'Schneekrad' from 1936:




Modern concept of the same (only a render, sadly):

XBurritoXLogicX
Jun 26, 2005

by T. Finninho
Made a new thread for the military stuff because I know there's enough out there to fill a thread and I really like the original tone of this one!

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3573617

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012


These no longer exist for some reason. They can be found new/used for upwards of $100

You can buy the wireless version, and there's only 1 brand. Right handed trackballs are an endangered species and no one seems to care.

Magnus Praeda
Jul 18, 2003
The largess in the land.

pentyne posted:



These no longer exist for some reason. They can be found new/used for upwards of $100

You can buy the wireless version, and there's only 1 brand. Right handed trackballs are an endangered species and no one seems to care.

I have one under my hand every time I'm at my desktop and I keep another as a backup. I had several of the mechanical roller version before this and one of the wireless ones Logitech released prior to the current Unifying version. Until the most recent one came out, the wireless versions were even more valuable than the wired ones are now.

They're not really obsolete or failed technology, just very niche. CAD designers, for example, tend to love trackballs. I've always preferred them. I don't think they're endangered, either. Logitech released the Unifying version pretty recently.

Humboldt Squid
Jan 21, 2006

Gorilla Salad posted:

German prototype 'Schneekrad' from 1936:




Modern concept of the same (only a render, sadly):



Am I missing something, or would these be impossible to turn?

MRC48B
Apr 2, 2012

IDK how that german prototype one works, but I remember that render, and I think the chassis bends in the middle, and has special road wheels to keep it from throwing a track.

driguy
Feb 16, 2009

In The Pit!

Magnus Praeda posted:

I have one under my hand every time I'm at my desktop and I keep another as a backup. I had several of the mechanical roller version before this and one of the wireless ones Logitech released prior to the current Unifying version. Until the most recent one came out, the wireless versions were even more valuable than the wired ones are now.

They're not really obsolete or failed technology, just very niche. CAD designers, for example, tend to love trackballs. I've always preferred them. I don't think they're endangered, either. Logitech released the Unifying version pretty recently.

Chiming in on the unifying version: It's not bad, takes a little getting used to... It's ALMOST the same. I still miss my Trackman but people are smoking crack if they think I'm paying the price that replacement ones are going for.

Rogue AI Goddess
May 10, 2012

I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.
That was a joke... unless..?
A smartphone with a camera:

Brother Jonathan
Jun 23, 2008

Ephemeron posted:

A smartphone with a camera:



A clock-radio:

Zedsdeadbaby
Jun 14, 2008

You have been called out, in the ways of old.
It's crazy to think how the combined technology of the last two posts can now be held inside your pocket.

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Taeke
Feb 2, 2010


Zedsdeadbaby posted:

It's crazy to think how the combined technology of the last two posts can now be held inside your pocket.

I find it even more mindblowing that they got to the moon with less computing power than the navigation system in a modern car.

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