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On that note, how bad does his poop smell?
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Oct 6, 2013 05:11
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 10:26 |
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Call up Azzazel and drink his piss while we're at it. Voting Plan Sogol
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Oct 6, 2013 06:58
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Voting for whatever drinking Snarls' piss is.
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Oct 6, 2013 08:54
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Perfect, a clever loop hole you goons have discovered. Don't get water for ourselves, just drink our dogs' piss.
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Oct 6, 2013 10:26
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Voting against eating/drinking excrement from any source. Voting against it with every fiber of my being.
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Oct 6, 2013 10:28
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HBar posted:On that note, how bad does his poop smell? Don't go beyond piss. Things can get weird really fast.
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Oct 6, 2013 10:44
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Drink all the piss.
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Oct 6, 2013 11:42
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Quaff piss til it dribbles down our chin. edit: I also vote that we enjoy it. Captain Mediocre fucked around with this message at 12:50 on Oct 6, 2013 |
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Oct 6, 2013 12:15
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A man has to do what a man has to do. Drink the piss and also travel at night when possible, resting in shade during the day. Pray to El as well for rain and shade.
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Oct 6, 2013 12:41
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Tsyni posted:Perfect, a clever loop hole you goons have discovered. Don't get water for ourselves, just drink our dogs' piss. What a jolly turn this has all taken! The dog truly was the most versatile resource after all.
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Oct 6, 2013 12:51
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We can solve our hunger problem too by just eating a little bit of Snarls. He can survive a few bites.Diogines posted:I am not sure I understand the question. You answered all 3 of my questions perfectly. The first question is an unintelligible typo, so not understanding the question is the correct response. Deadly Ham Sandwich fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Oct 6, 2013 |
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Oct 6, 2013 14:52
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A snapshot of what Diog's face looks like when he sees what has happened to this thread would be worth a million dollars.
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Oct 6, 2013 15:07
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Not a couple of days in and ready to drink dog pee.
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Oct 6, 2013 15:34
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Tomn posted:A snapshot of what Diog's face looks like when he sees what has happened to this thread would be worth a million dollars. Well I can't speak for Diog, but you bastards made me laugh so hard my husband's giving me that, 'You're crazy, aren't you?' look. Now he wants to know what's so funny. And I'm...I'm not sure how to explain this. But if this gets the world's most horrified mini-vote from Diog I'm going to bust another gut laughing about it.
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Oct 6, 2013 15:37
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I vote for a mini vote!
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Oct 6, 2013 15:44
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Voting for not drinking the piss. A Let's just grab Snarls, hurry to the forest, and have him find water when we get there. Hopefully it isn't guarded by a mythical beast. e: My phone initially autocorrected that to musical breast.
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Oct 6, 2013 16:04
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Diogines posted:You hear Azzazel turn to one of his drink serving monkeys and say "Ooooh I hope the Creature is alright, everything will work out for the best in the end I mean... it has to, right?"  Question: How does our new world look at situations like this? Is drinking dog piss a taboo? Refusing a comparable Nazi officer you find on the field who is asking for some SmartwaterTM is a horrendous act, I wonder how being parched and having a dog with a lot of piss would be seen. WhiteOutMouse fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Oct 6, 2013 |
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Oct 6, 2013 16:34
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will blow your mind.
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the_steve posted:Voting against eating/drinking excrement from any source. Voting against it with every fiber of my being. I agree. Though if we must drink Snarls pee lets make sure to give him so much water his pee is close to crystal clear.
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Oct 6, 2013 17:35
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RandomPauI posted:I agree. Though if we must drink Snarls pee lets make sure to give him so much water his pee is close to crystal clear. Okay, fine.  I change my vote from drinking piss to not drinking piss. But I want us to pray to El for rain and food. This takes nothing from us and can be done while we walk/rest, and might have very beneficial results (or no results at all).
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Oct 6, 2013 17:46
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You guys do know that a dog as smart as Snarls will NEVER be able to look at us or treat us the same way after we spend 3 days drinking his piss right? You're going to traumatize and scar the dog horribly
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Oct 6, 2013 18:51
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Addendum: Voting No on Urine Drinking
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Oct 6, 2013 18:54
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Why in the world are there so many votes concerning drinking pee? Paradise Lost: Voting for not drinking the piss.
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Oct 6, 2013 19:05
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Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:Why in the world are there so many votes concerning drinking pee? Not only this, but voting for not drinking the piss of a dog. Not sure how much I can emphasize this.
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Oct 6, 2013 19:21
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no piss that is all.
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Oct 6, 2013 19:26
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Lanky Coconut Tree posted:You guys do know that a dog as smart as Snarls will NEVER be able to look at us or treat us the same way after we spend 3 days drinking his piss right? He's a dog! Dogs eat their own poo poo!
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Oct 6, 2013 19:29
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Ahahahaha
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Oct 6, 2013 19:35
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Lanky Coconut Tree posted:My vote: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww This post has the right idea. Is it good? Pffff.
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Oct 6, 2013 19:38
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Make like a dog and eat/drink various waste products.
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Oct 6, 2013 19:43
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When all is said and done, we will discover that Enkindel is the son of Denziroh. It's really the only thing that would explain his constant mad urges to eat dog feces, kill kings, eat minotaur hearts, summon hungry fishgods, etc.
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Oct 6, 2013 20:05
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Denziroh is El. CYOA solved.
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Oct 6, 2013 20:59
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You guys know that actual real life water discipline manuals say drinking urine is a terrible idea that would have little benefit and may well wreck your kidneys, right?
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Oct 6, 2013 21:12
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Tomn posted:A snapshot of what Diog's face looks like when he sees what has happened to this thread would be worth a million dollars. My mouth hung open then closed several times slowly in a series. Then I pretty much imagined: And laughed. HBar posted:On that note, how bad does his poop smell? It smells like dog poop. Update in a few hours.
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Oct 6, 2013 21:27
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paragon1 posted:You guys know that actual real life water discipline manuals say drinking urine is a terrible idea that would have little benefit and may well wreck your kidneys, right? What does it say about canine urine?
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Oct 6, 2013 22:45
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Nothing. Well played, you've found the loophole. I recommend you begin consuming dog piss immediately for your own health and safety.
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Oct 6, 2013 22:55
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Well mister, if you're so smart why isn't there a dog poop and pee discipline manual  Oh and... no to consuming Snarls Barkley's number 1/2. Assuming that's even up to a vote.
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Oct 6, 2013 22:58
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Voting is closed.
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Oct 6, 2013 23:09
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Diogines posted:Voting is closed. But discussion on drinking pee is still open.
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Oct 6, 2013 23:13
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Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:But discussion on drinking pee is still open. The
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Oct 6, 2013 23:23
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Pissssssssss This is somehow more distubing than the colossal jizzing turtle.
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Oct 6, 2013 23:56
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 10:26 |
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You pace in circles for a moment as you consider your next move. The sun is setting but it is not yet set. Snarls plops down and yawns. You pick him up. "Go to sleep boy" you say "I'll handle it from here". As you wrap him in your cloak, he gives you a big slobbery lick on the side of your face and then drifts off to doggy dream land. He has been walking all day and he is tired as well. The sun begins to set...  And then it is gone. You continue to walk, through the night. The stars twinkle above you, seemingly indifferent, occasionally a star shooting through the night, with only your own thoughts and Snarl's breathing to keep you company.  You do not feel hunger, thirst, fatigue or tiredness, but you do indeed feel the cold and the temperature drops swiftly as you trudge on. You clutch Snarls tightly to you, beneath your cloak. You are young and in rather good shape, you tough it out, as best as you can, but your teeth chatter and you shiver as you trudge across the landscape. It is thoroughly unpleasent, but it does not seem likely you are going to freeze to death, for now anyway. Many unseen insects chirp their songs into the night, yet though go silent as bestial roars interrupt their sympathy, roars you hear far to the east, the south and the west, though none to the north. Judging from the sounds, they must be far off, many, many miles... you hope. You cannot help but to imagine what sort of creatures would make those noises...    You do not pray unceasingly, but as you walk, you do give some prayers to El (There were sufficient votes and none against). 1. You prayed to El. Do you seriously think El is watching over you as you do so? A. Not really, but when you are in trouble, you pray, its what you do. I don't seriously expect any help. B. No, not really, but I remain vaguely hopeful for some divine aid. C. Maybe... D. Probably... I mean he has to... right? E. El is watching over me. F. El IS watching over me. I have no doubt. El is watching over me and protecting me. Nothing bad will happen to me because he is guarding me. G. Something else. Fill in. You continue to walk through the night, freezing as you go. Eventually, dawn rises, Snarls wakes up and continues to walk beside you. You warm under the sun and eventually stop chattering your teeth, though you still hold your cloak tight to you for several hours in the morning. You do not feel thirst, hunger, tiredness or fatigue and you continue to walk. A bit after noon, you trip and the hunger, fatigue, tiredness and thirst all flood back into you all at once, it is incredibly unpleasant, you cry out in pain, the hunger being by far, the worst of the feelings flooding through you, but you manage to stand up and continue walking, the feelings fade. You walk for another full day. The sun sets and then... night comes again.  For a second night, you freeze, clutching the sleeping Snarls tightly beneath your cloak. At some point, near the midst of the night, you finally reach the treeline, perhaps 36 hours of walking since you left Azzazel. The forest covers a series of hills, it is tough to say how far south it goes, but it is no more than a few thousand feet wide, from what you can see. There is a light glowing within the forest. From the roars you have heard in the night, you are fairly sure that whatever beasts you heard must be many miles south still, but you cannot be truly certain, some may be not all that far within the trees.  You approach to see a large obelisk made of that strange white stone you saw during your late night trip with Danal, years ago, glowing white, yet with a texture like tree bark. You continue to move, lest you stay idle and all of your fatigue, sleepiness, hunger and thirst hit you all at once. The obelisk is covered in writing, names, hundreds upon hundreds of them. Beyond the very top of the monument, you see words floating in the air, made of light: "I AM ZEPA. BY THESE YOU SHALL KNOW MY LINE SHALL ENDURE, FOREVER." Beneath it, names upon names upon names in neat rows, the rows stacked upon rows stacked upon rows. Near the top of the monument, the names beside each other ring all the way around the monument, but as they descend, they grow fewer in number. You look at roughly eye level and see that of the last five rows, there was only a single name. You recognize the bottom most name. "Aaron son of Bagar". You know Bagar to be Aaron's father and Rathal's husband. And you recognize the name above that too. "Tudiya, son of Adamu" And then: "Adamu, son of Yangi" "Yangi, son of Suhlamu" "Suhlamu, son of Harharu" And on and on it goes. As the rows rise to the top, they branch out and each row has many names upon it, growing fewer in number to the bottom, till the last few are each a single name on a row. Nearly every name on the monument is in the style of "X, son of Y", but you see one name not too far from the top which is different. The writing near the top is... different and seems odd, the writing near the bottom, is much more familiar and you recognize it more easily, but one name near the top SEEMS to read "Aish of Ishat, by Pledge", yet you cannot be certain, the symbols are not familiar to you. You also see set of names which stick out, as they are not... exactly traditional names. The closeness of the names in each pair catch your eyes. One name has a set "Belu - Rex" and you see another which reads "Azarah - Fido". A stylus made of shimmering gold lay upon a small table next to the monument, you lift it and tap the obelisk gently with it, the surface deforms ever so slightly to the touch of the instrument. Beside the monument is also a small stone altar. But before you deal with the monument... you have a much more immediate concern and a problem you are intimately aware of. The problem is this: You have a full day and a half of thirst, hunger, fatigue and sleepiness pent up inside of you. The hunger is by a very large margin the worst of these conditions, it was a stabbing pain in your gut nearly a day ago when you tripped and it must be far, far worse now. There is a very strong chance that if you stop walking, you may pass into unconsciousness from all of these feelings and if not, you may well lay on the floor, screaming and writhing in agony with no way to remedy any of them, in which case, you will probably die. You have a day and a half of walking through a baking wilderness and then through a freezing night, with no food, no water, no sleep and no rest to make up for and you are about to make up for it all at once when you next stop moving. You might be able to stay conscious, albeit sitting and resting for a bit, if you can get some food and water. The two coconuts which Snarls has been drinking and eating from, do not seem to any emptier now, than before, no matter how much he has eaten or drank from them, the contents have not diminished, one with water, one with cooked beef. 2. If I stop walking I am either going to be knocked unconscious or suffer horrible agony with no way to remedy the situation. I decide to... (Pick as many as you want) H. Ignore these problems, stop moving and suffer horrible agony, or unconsciousness, possibly horrible agony till I black out and then possibly die. I. I eat the cooked beef from the coconut. J. I look for something I can eat in the forest in the dead of night with no light source. K. I ask Snarls to try to find me something to eat. L. I pray for food. To who? M. I eat Snarls. N. I sacrifice Snarls on the altar to pray for food. O. I yell out to Azzazel I want to accept the invitation to go party at his place for a month. What the hell was I thinking earlier? P. I am pretty good at math! I use my excellent additive and subtraction skills to mathimagic food out of the air. Q. I also know lots of stories from Ishamal and Tudiya and my mom! Wait. This isn't going to help me at all in this situation, but, it is a gentle reminder that I do know lots of interesting and useful skills, even if few of them have any apparent utility for my current problem! R. I drink water from the water coconut. S. I drink water from the stream flowing from the monument. T. I drink Snarl's piss. U. I ask Snarls to try to find me a gourd or something, so I can piss into it and then drink my own piss, alternatively, I try to angle myself awkwardly while walking, to piss into my own mouth, while still moving. V. I have another idea. Fill in. If you have any relevant questions for Snarls, you can ask him, though his ability to communicate is limited to barks and paw gestures. If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up. If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/ Diogines fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Oct 7, 2013 |
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Oct 7, 2013 00:26
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