TV Trops

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > TV Trops

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

AlbieQuirky posted:

I cannot get over this Dozerfleet thing. It's like Nabokov's Pale Fire in real life.

Don't exaggerate. This guy is way crazier than the guy in Pale Fire. That guy just wanted to be a crazy, gay, European king; what this guy wants is incomprehensible.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 19:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 08:51

Asgerd: May 6, 2012; I worked up a powerful loneliness in my massive bed, in the massive dark.; Grimey Drawer

After Dozerfleet, the rest of Tv Tropes just got a little less weird and terrible by comparison.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 19:07

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

A lifelong passion for sci-fi with pens.

Every once in a while I get a window into a world where I was X% more autistic. It's never a good feeling. :smith:

# ? Nov 8, 2013 20:38

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Goddrat, those sex stats. I'm not sure I could make up a better example of Tropers treating fictional works as windows on real worlds that can only be analyzed and not judged, and it's even more amazing given that the Troper in question is doing it to his own work! How far up your own rear end do you have to be to calculate all this and think "hm, 10% of my female cast gets beheaded at some point -- what a strange natural phenomenon!" instead of "poo poo, I think I might have a beheading fetish?"

Then again... Obama and the Ottoman Empire. This guy!

# ? Nov 8, 2013 22:26

Vaginapocalypse: Mar 15, 2013; B-but it's so hard being white! Waaaaaagh!

The Dozerfleet Founder is truly a renaissance man. Not only is he the authors of such classics such as Stationery Voyagers and Ciem: The Human Centipede, but he is also a talented film critic. I am proud to present to you all "So Which Is It?: Is The Dark Knight Pro or Anti-Iraq War?"

The Dozerfleet Founder posted:

I have read the Wikipedia article on critical reception and philosophy debates around The Dark Knight. I must say, that I find it interesting how both pro-Iraq war and anti-Iraq war sides are equally passionate about spinning the movie's message to suit their agendas.

Pro side: One side argues that, like Bush, Batman sometimes pushes himself to extremes in order to defeat an evil, confident that he can restore Rule of Law when the emergency is over.

Anti side: Others argue that Rule of Law must never be compromised, even going so far as to claim that Batman only encouraged more evil. But is this true?

If anyone remembers anything from Batman Begins, you'll recall that Ra's al Ghoul freed the prisoners from Arkham, including the Joker. The Joker also states very clearly that anarchy was his goal all along. Like in real life, the evil in this movie does not become more or less violent regardless the presence of a hero. However, before I say that the pro-Bush side was 100% in the right, let's look at what the anti-Bush side was trying to say but failed to get at. The presence of the hero does not make the villains any more or less violent; any more or less strange. They are avatars of evil, and do what evil does. But what does the presence of a hero actually do to them???

The Joker = Terrorists = Avatars of EVIL!

The Dozerfleet Founder posted:

When Batman interferes with the Joker's violence, the Joker simply redirects his violence towards those things which he feels keep Batman functional:

Destroy the Batmobile, kill the Mayor, attempt to kill Gordon, kill Harvey and Rachel (since they as DAs should be all over having Batman outlawed, rather than supporting his actions), and then find anyone and everyone else that could possibly be keeping Batman afloat and disposing of them.

It is painfully obvious when he robs the bank that Batman has nothing to do with it. Yet, when the Joker tries to get Batman to turn himself in, he implicitly lies by making it sound like Batman is the reason. It is because he believes Batman will fall for it.

Likewise, when the terrorists in Iraq start sending videos of them beheading pregnant Koreans to US authorities and media outlets as opposed to Korean ones, it is to set up an identical false pretense; to rob the hero of his courage by making him think he is the reason for the violence rather than the one sent to stop it.

They would have beheaded those Koreans anyway, for the simple crime of being Koreans. We in the western world cannot fathom this, but a Slovakian woman once informed me that that is how they think in the eastern world: If you're "not one of us, then you're pigeons."

I too would like to understand the world through the lens of a single Slovakian woman's opinion on people from the Middle East. Also, Bush is totally a misunderstood Batman type figure.

The Dozerfleet Founder posted:

The deceptive role reversal psyche technique is very effective. Not only does Batman almost fall for it; but almost all American liberals have fallen for it as well. It is one of the oldest tools of deception in Satan's book; and the Joker uses it as flawlessly as Osama bin Laden and MSNBC do.

When "torture" is used on Iraqi and other Arab terrorists, it is used on known criminals who are really nothing more than pirates. They have no country, and no jurisdiction under which they have any rights.

Yet, the ignorant tell us to honor their "civil liberties," which is under the false pretenses of them
being automatic citizens and having civil liberties under a constitution to a government whose jurisdiction they are not under.

We know better than to kidnap their women and children, and we don't do such things. Aside from that, it is willful ignorance to call merely detaining these rabid wolves "torture"?

I don't remember Batman waterboarding anyone in Nolan's trilogy and I'm pretty sure that whole trilogy had fascist, pro-Bush undertones in the first place.

The Dozerfleet Founder posted:

Conclusion

So which is it? Batman had no reason to be ashamed. If anything, he should have been a little more like the Punisher. Yet, he was right to order Fox to destroy the machine after the Joker was captured.
It is right to fear becoming a monster as one fights monsters. But one should never become food for the monster just because of fear of becoming a monster, for you are what you let eat you.

It is the solid duty of all to their fellow man to both fight off monsters and take care not to become them. But never should we lose sight of what truly defines one; or we can be deceived by propaganda into cowardice when the enemy's violence becomes more directed.

Rather than mistake the increase in their direction for a true escalation over broad, and rather than mistake this for our fault, we must be willing to make them suffer that much more for their crimes. Evil cannot be negotiated with. It must be cast into the fire, like the One Ring.

But now I'm rewinding the cinema clock even further back in time.

No negotiations, no hesitation about how what you might be doing is wrong, black and white morality all the way.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 04:04

Count Chocula: Dec 25, 2011; WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN

A Batman who tortures Islamic terrorists? Is Dozerfleet secretly Frank Miller? That's just Holy Terror.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 06:26

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Dozerfleet: Ciem 2 posted:

Another change was the subplot involving Randy and Amelia Kinto, which has since been completely removed. In three years' time, the real-life Andrew Kincare that was the basis for Randy had changed significantly in personality and had moved away, making his character no longer a proper story fit. After his real-life sister Emily had a baby, her in-universe counterpart Amelia Kinto was also removed from having any plot relevance.

This is creepy enough on its own, but horrifying when you combine it with that rapestats post. If his characters in the "stories" he's ~~written~~ planned are 1-1 maps of real people, then every single one of those rapes and beheadings is him fantasizing about a specific woman he personally knows.

I would not be even remotely surprised if this guy ended up being a serial killer.

e:

Dozerfleet: Candi Levens posted:

Classic Candi was the first to use the Curse of Honeybee Samuel as an excuse for her development of nymphomania. While Comprehensive Candi later took that to the extreme, Cataclysmic Candi did away with the supernatural explanation. She instead is the way she is due to childhood sexual harassment and abuse in the public school system. Even so, Cataclysmic Candi has a much milder problem with her libido than either Classic or Comprehensive Candis. Classic Candi's problems don't truly manifest until after her first time with Denny. From there, she doesn't notice she has a problem until she and Donte being slipping up a bit too regularly. Donte has little self-control in this continuity, though more than his Comprehensive Gerosha counterpart has and less than his Cataclysmic Gerosha counterpart. Classic Candi is extremely clingy, being somewhere in-between Comprehensive and Cataclysmic Candi in terms of how clingy.

Dozerfleet: The Haunting Past posted:

This song was written in the evening of Friday, September 14th of 2012. It was a lament written by the Dozerfleet founder, who realized that he and Carly had grown irreconcilably apart with the passage of time. This was after he arrived at Rum Runners of Lansing earlier that afternoon, only to discover that Carly, hosting the Luau Party, was an hour late to her own party. Once there, she generally ignored her guests. Her hosting skills left so much to be desired, that the Dozerfleet founder actually founder her demeanor quite rude. That she had suddenly unfriended him without explanation right before the event also made her motives questionable.

Considering how much he writes about her, I think Candi is meant to be a stand-in for Carly.

Dozerfleet: What's Hot This Year: January 2012 posted:

Say farewell to a loser
The ND used to have a real name. He is now a pathetic memory. He was involved in numerous productions, including Who's Who at FSU?, Beyond the Campus, Pine Springs, Ferris State Live, and Ferris in Focus. But then he went to California for awhile. And he got whacky. And then, he began calling this site "racist" without a single thread of evidence or reason given. Then he began smoking the weed some more. Then he vandalized the website. He was banned. But he demanded his real name be removed from this site. So it was, come July, removed. So long, a**hole! Skyward Visual can have you.

Lottery of Babylon fucked around with this message at 09:45 on Nov 9, 2013

# ? Nov 9, 2013 08:44

Jerry Manderbilt: May 31, 2012; No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

Adrastus posted:

I honestly cannot make heads or tails out of that stationary voyager story, even his own explanation is confusing as poo poo:

Of course Japan would be part of ~~the good guys~~ the free world in a Troper's clusterfuck story.

TVTropes Pleads the Fifth: "It's obvious: Obama wants to rebuild the Ottoman Empire"

# ? Nov 9, 2013 10:16

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

I don't know if you guys found this yet, but Dozerfleet also wrote a detailed trope page for a movie about that old QBasic game with the gorillas.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 11:29

Hazdoc: Nov 8, 2012; Muscovy Ducks are a large tropical breed, famous for their lean and extremely flavorful meat.

Hazduck!

~SMcD

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

A lifelong passion for sci-fi with pens.

That obama quote is just amazing. I can't believe it was written by a person.
Well, I've started looking through these terrible fanfics and I've already begun to regret what I've done. Some of them are just so bad I can't stop reading, though.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 11:56

Sailor Viy: Aug 4, 2013; And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan's country, or shot over the edge of the world into some vast cataract, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise.

I love all the different 'continuities' of The Gerosha Chronicles. They are all pretty much what a real writer would refer to as 'drafts', but since he has such a hard-on for documenting every single thing he's ever done, they all have to exist in their own separate universes.

I mean, that really reveals the heart of the TVtropes philosophy on writing and editing as well. Fictional universes are treated like real, objective places. The relationship of the writer to the work is not one of a creator, but of a 'god' in the world, or perhaps even just a conduit through which the parallel reality manifests itself. So of course tropers don't edit their work or even understand why one would want to. You can't just go and change the world! That's how the world is! If you change it even a little bit, then it's a different canon altogether. And every canon must be preserved forever, in a warm bath of nostalgia soup.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 13:54

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Dozerfleet is fascinating in an outsider art kind of way, like Prophet Royal or something. Does it still count as outsider art if supposedly, he's gone to school for video design?

His time at college was pretty much about what you'd expect from a hyperconservative spergbot.

Crouching Foreign Film, Hidden Sick Mind posted:

It was supposed to be "Topics in Film Animation." But FILM 203, held on Thursdays from 6:10-9PM in the TLC basement, turned out to be anything but what the class description read. There was no discussion of keyframing. There was no discussion of the art of framerates. There was no discussion of visual style; no practice runs with CGI, nothing of the class description. Instead, it was "Let's watch live action films made in other countries, and give our opinions of them." Often times, that meant watching the most pointless, pornographic pieces of trash that the teacher could manage to find at a local video store. And he somehow managed to include an actual assignment in the class towards its end, just so it could still be called a class.

If not for the fact that it was an easy A, the Dozerfleet founder would have dropped that class entirely. It was a sad, sick joke from beginning to end. Making it worse, his input was almost always being shot down by the freaks and weirdos in class. The morbidly obese, goth-dressed, pink-haired, marijuana-stenched, God-hating societal outcasts got to set the agenda. And they were rude about it too. The teacher had nothing to say most of the time, and just plopped the movie in and had everyone watch as a way to keep everything under wraps.

The opening film for this semester smorgasbord of crap was a deceptively benign-by-comparison film: Run Lola Run. Warning signs started with the following week, where the class got to view Once Were Warriors.

The Ring runs rings around expectations posted:

Not but a week after getting the idea to write 90 Has No Secant, the Dozerfleet founder attended FILM 203 class and was told he'd be watching The Ring. Some of the strange kids sitting in the back of class cheered, and wondered "how?" They knew about the upcoming movie. The Dozerfleet founder hadn't heard. The teacher then explained that his class would be watching the Japanese version.

It was okay. Not great. As soon as the Dozerfleet founder was able, he went out to the theaters and saw the Dreamworks version, so as to be able to compare the two for class. He was briefly dragged into the fandom for that movie, discovering that unfortunately, he was among the few conservatives that found anything to like about it. Most of the fandom, it turned out, consisted of very intolerant liberals, most of whom were on marijuana.

The mood, direction, and music of Dreamworks' Ring provided the Dozerfleet founder with a template to follow when developing 90. He sought to create the same atmosphere for the book. As he would discover in 2009, however, much of The Ring took inspiration in turn from Hitchcock. So it made more sense to go to the real source for inspiration, by watching some Hitchcock classics.

Alternate thread title: TvTropes Pleads the Fifth: "The fandom consisted of liberals, most of whom were on marijuana."

What's Hot This Year March 2003 posted:

On March 26th, news emerged of a new case being decided in Texas courts: Lawrence vs. Texas. The idea of it was that the new judges on Texas' supreme court were going to decide that Belgian pop culture customs were more important than the constitution - or even the common sense need for the nation to have a moral compass! That was SEDITION! Yet, nobody, least of all Gee-Dubbya, was all that intent on holding those judges accountable for sedition.

The decision would, if approved, result in the law in Texas concerning the nature of sodomy being completely reversed. It would, due to technicalities in law in other states, also render those states' laws against the diabolical practice effectively null. It was a transparent effort to provide the Crooked Rainbow with a stepping stone, one from which they would launch an attack on the sanctity of marriage, the rights of business owners to disagree with them, the rights of churches to stick to reality, and more. It was a full frontal assault on basic human decency, and would lead to the 2012 pride parades featuring pornography being solicited by Crookeds to small children as well as blatant public lewd conduct and nudity, with lesbian police captains refusing to enforce laws against it.

When warned that such lawlessness was the Crookeds' plan all along, liberals shrugged off conservatives' concerns as a slippery slope "fallacy." Two things wrong with that comeback: 1) It wasn't so much a "slippery slope" as it was diving straight off a cliff. 2) It's not a fallacy if it's already happened. And in Europe, it already had. And in 2012, it happened in America. The Dozerfleet founder started pointing this out way ahead of many others, including talk radio. But he was ignored as a "paranoid extremist."

Alternate alternate thread title: "It's not a fallacy if it's already happened."

What's Hot This Year January 2004 posted:

ARTS 132 [Figure Drawing] was taken again. It did only so-so last time taken, so this repeat was an attempt to at least get a C. Alas, results were the same. At least this time, the class got spoiled once and was allowed to draw a young woman, rather than the blobs, hags, and creepy old guys that were usually the models.

What's Hot This Year August 2004 posted:

OADM 275: Student Diversity Basics, began on Wednesday, August 25th of 2004. It met from 1:10-4:00PM in Old Central 140. Most of it was mindless propaganda and indoctrination into multiculturalism.

What's Hot This Year March 2005 posted:

It was bound to happen, and then it did. After the Dozerfleet founder posted a thread to the Ring Forum concerning the weapons of Saddam's that made their way into Syria, which the mainstream media admitted to in 2012, long after the damage had been done, the uber-leftist admins decided they'd had enough. The Dozerfleet founder would have to get his fix of Ring trivia somewhere else. But good riddance. No more throwing pearls before those swine.

What's Hot This Year December 2005 posted:

The gift-giving
Friday, December 23rd, 2005

On December 23rd, Dana's gift was prepared and ready-transported to her. It was one of the first times that a CD package of its sort would ever be produced as a final product of what would soon be renamed Dozerfleet Productions. Her present included an Aflac duck - the same Aflac duck that was used for ARTS 151. Her package also included her favorite candy bar of the time: Carmello.

The falling-out
Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

Too surprised to say anything the day she received it, her ingratitude was all-too-clear on December 28th. A phone call to her place to see if all was well ended with her spouting insults and condescension, going so far as to call the gift "creepy" just because Tina Nares was based on her. She claimed that he could still e-mail her, but only to the Yahoo account that she only ever checked once in a blue moon at the library downtown. She stated over the phone that she wouldn't let him write or call her-or else. He tried to be courteous, but she only went on and on with her power trip. She even bragged about how she "didn't need the likes of him" once she started her job at Polo Ralph Lauren. When he told her she filled a void in his life, she replied: "Fill it yourself!"

Outraged by her disrespect and ingratitude, and not taking kindly to her threats, the Dozerfleet founder dropped her like a hot potato. It would damage his confidence for quite a long time. On November 5th of 2006, when they had contact again, he threw his anger and pain right back at her, stopping just short of telling her exactly where she could stick it. He even told her to throw out her present. It was too good for her. There was no response, but it's safe to assume she didn't keep it.

This man is a fractal trainwreck. Every time you move in closer to see what's going on, each detail is as bizarre as the whole.

e:

IvanRider's (his user account) User Page posted:

Trivia: I'm an advocate of Young-Earth Biblical Creationism.

Of course

Djeser fucked around with this message at 15:37 on Nov 9, 2013

# ? Nov 9, 2013 15:31

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Djeser posted:

His time at college was pretty much about what you'd expect from Ignatius J. Reilly.

There we go.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 15:38

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

quote:

The falling-out
Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

Too surprised to say anything the day she received it, her ingratitude was all-too-clear on December 28th. A phone call to her place to see if all was well ended with her spouting insults and condescension, going so far as to call the gift "creepy" just because Tina Nares was based on her. She claimed that he could still e-mail her, but only to the Yahoo account that she only ever checked once in a blue moon at the library downtown. She stated over the phone that she wouldn't let him write or call her-or else. He tried to be courteous, but she only went on and on with her power trip. She even bragged about how she "didn't need the likes of him" once she started her job at Polo Ralph Lauren. When he told her she filled a void in his life, she replied: "Fill it yourself!"

Outraged by her disrespect and ingratitude, and not taking kindly to her threats, the Dozerfleet founder dropped her like a hot potato. It would damage his confidence for quite a long time. On November 5th of 2006, when they had contact again, he threw his anger and pain right back at her, stopping just short of telling her exactly where she could stick it. He even told her to throw out her present. It was too good for her. There was no response, but it's safe to assume she didn't keep it.

Sounds kinda like the Nice Guy(tm) version of Chris-Chan or something.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting all of this when I linked the Dozerfleet trope page in the first place.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 16:08

Asgerd: May 6, 2012; I worked up a powerful loneliness in my massive bed, in the massive dark.; Grimey Drawer

Metal Loaf posted:

Honestly, I wasn't expecting all of this when I linked the Dozerfleet trope page in the first place.

Frankly, he's a lot more interesting than anything else :tvtropes:

is doing these days. They're still bad, but it's a banal, dull kind of badness that isn't much fun to talk about. Everything's been exhaustively covered already in the previous threads, and lots of boob "tropes" and boring-as-hell troper role playing games just don't have the power to wow like they used to. This guy is a breath of fresh air. Crazy, crazy air.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 16:16

Target Practice: Aug 20, 2004; Shit.

"90 Has No Secant" is the dumbest loving title on Earth.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 19:24

Well Manicured Man: Aug 21, 2010; Well Manicured Mort

Target Practice posted:

"90 Has No Secant" is the dumbest loving title on Earth.

It reminds me of something you'd see if a children's educational program did a James Bond parody about math.

Except there's nothing tongue-in-cheek about this :eng99:

# ? Nov 9, 2013 19:29

Vaginapocalypse: Mar 15, 2013; B-but it's so hard being white! Waaaaaagh!

Hobby Lobby Appreciation Day

The Dozerfleet Founder posted:

Hobby Lobby Appreciation Day was an event initiated on Facebook in late September of 2012, in response to threats by communist lowlifes who supported the Obama regime that they'd entice massive boycotts against Hobby Lobby. A "buycott" to counter the boycott threats was formed. While not as organized, the mass patron event was conducted so as to mirror the largely successful Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day event of August of that year.

So basically, the Dozerfleet Founder believes in supporting businesses who have "traditional morals". Pretty tame so far.

The Dozerfleet Founder posted:

Birth control became mandatory, in a move to destroy the church

It began in January of 2012. Never before in history did a promiscuous woman think it was literally everyone else and their dog's job to pay for the equipment she needed to conduct her deathstyle. She always understood that she had to pay for birth control out of her own pocket, if at all. But to lay full assault on the religious core of America, in keeping with the 60s radicals and their agenda, the Obamination, that one of many heads of Revelation's Beast of the Sea, got together with Nasty Pelosi to plot and scheme a fascist means of undermining religious liberty by forcing the church to do exactly that. Through Obama"care," a provision existed which mandated that businesses, no matter how small or privately-owned, must spend millions of dollars providing "free" birth control to the masses.

Any business that didn't was to be fined $1,300,000 PER DAY for non-compliance, regardless of the reason for non-compliance (including that the business doesn't have that kind of money!) Any business that cannot comply for too long, could be seized by the government and taken over. Fascism by definition!!!

More awful opinions about women and condoms, nothing new here. Although "deathstyle" is an awesome word.

The Dozerfleet Founder posted:

The Beast of the Earth was not far behind. The Church of the Apostates, liberal churches that wear a guise of being Christian but which sell out to godless Statist policies and whims of Secular Humanism every chance they get, came out in force to lay full-scale assault on the Churches that remained faithful to the Divine Jurisdiction. When the Earthly Jurisdiction had joined the Usurper, they decided that the two jurisdictions were two "kingdoms," and ruled that this meant it was okay to pretend to serve the Divine Jurisdiction on Sunday; but that it was necessary to subvert it in favor of the Usurper having violated the Earthly Jurisdiction every other day of the week. They called this "serving the Two Kingdoms," but it was really them choosing to make the State, in rebellion against God, the "superior" god. They had chosen the Golden Calf.

Ok, what the gently caress does this have to do with Hobby Lobby? You're kinda losing me here, Dozerleet foun-

The Dozerfleet Founder posted:

After the Marquis de Sade was executed, his disciples decided to employ his propaganda. Anyone who opposed their barbaric cruelty towards their murder and rape victims was accused of being an "irrational bigot" for opposing brutal rape and murder. These followers of de Sade, the Sadeans, became the origin of the terms "sadism" and "sadistic." The original Sadeans eventually moved from France to Germany, becoming a core component of the Nazi Party. The Pink Swastika consisted of manly gays mostly. They would target more effeminate gays for execution, not only as a way of establishing dominance, but also as a way of eliminating those they felt were Stalin sympathizers. This would later get twisted by American academia as all gays having been "victims" in WWII, so as to fool gullible students into not exploring the real history of militant homosexuals' love of tyranny.

Hitler employed the Pink Swastika for many missions, noting they were willing to deal out to those on Hitler's hit list a brutality that could not be asked of just any Nazi soldier. The Pink Swastika therefore became one of Hitler's personal goon squads, sent out for missions not even the SS and Gestapo dared attempt due to the horrifying nature of given commands.

After WWII, the Pink Swastika invaded the US. In order to take advantage of the myths being propagated by Alfred Kinsey and his diabolical minions, they decided to scrap their true name in favor of more benevolent-sounding names. From there, they'd campaign to give themselves an illusion of cultural legitimacy. They capitalized on the black civil rights movement, and tried to paint their ruthless aggressors as "victims" of "oppression." After several decades, US media fell for it, and began expanding the myth. The Pink Swastika became two organizations: GLSEN and NAMBLA, only pretending not to be one and the same. From there, they spawned countless satellites and fronts, such as GLAAD, and became the LGBT Mafia, or "Crooked Rainbow," that they are today.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 19:35

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

quote:

Q-Basic Gorillas: The Album is a digital playlist that functions as an unofficial soundtrack for the Dozerfleet Comics pitch for a film adaptation: Q-Basic Gorillas, based on the game Gorilla.BAS by IBM and Microsoft.

quote:

1 "Sound of Madness" Shinedown Track was picked to begin the recurring theme of every album having a Shinedown song. This was inspired by the fact that every Transformers live-action film in the Michael Bay trilogy features a Linkin Park song.

6 "Wake Up" AWOLNATION Second-guessing whether or not to use an AWOLNATION song, this one was picked for being just different enough to work.

9 "Wake Up" Story of the Year The song was picked on its sound alone. It didn't occur until later on that it had the same title as the AWOLNATION song above. But since the surprise of having two songs of the same title was not revealed until after compilation, it was decided to be too funny to warrant correction.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 19:59

ArchangeI: Jul 15, 2010

That sure is a lot of words for "I made a playlist, hey look those two songs have the same name!"

# ? Nov 9, 2013 20:03

FairyNuff: Jan 22, 2012

Vaginapocalypse posted:

Hobby Lobby Appreciation Day

So basically, the Dozerfleet Founder believes in supporting businesses who have "traditional morals". Pretty tame so far.

More awful opinions about women and condoms, nothing new here. Although "deathstyle" is an awesome word.

Ok, what the gently caress does this have to do with Hobby Lobby? You're kinda losing me here, Dozerleet foun-

Hahaha, he puts Tvtropes and Freep to shame at the same time.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 20:08

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Vaginapocalypse posted:

More awful opinions about women and condoms, nothing new here. Although "deathstyle" is an awesome word.

"MY LIFESTYLE! DETERMINES MY DEATHSTYLE!"

# ? Nov 9, 2013 20:17

Vaginapocalypse: Mar 15, 2013; B-but it's so hard being white! Waaaaaagh!

When the manly gays came for the effeminate gays, I remained silent, for I was not an effeminate gay.

Vaginapocalypse fucked around with this message at 20:28 on Nov 9, 2013

# ? Nov 9, 2013 20:25

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Gored By Them Things

This is amazing.

quote:

The Fellowship of the Eucerin Tub

In a parody of the story of Lord of the Rings, a reindeer/wolf hybrid named Rudwulfon creates an evil ring to terrorize the world with. He loses track of it while beating up circus clowns. Through various subplots that are never described, save for the claim that nobody would care to hear them, the ring makes its way to a cave called the Shine Cave.

Blotto Sirens, a bat who lives in the cave with is turkey friend named Tacky, finds the ring and seeks advice from his seafarer friend Captain Rum on what to do about it. Rum immediately knows the significance of the ring, and warns that it must be melted in a molten iron pit in a big landfill that has been coined "The Dumpster" before Rudwulfon can find it again.

Blotto and several other animals forge a group of nine that make their way to the Monkey Tribe, where Chief Bananas tells them what they already know after dubbing them "The Fellowship of the Eucerin Tub" when they use a giant Eucerin tub to set the ring on for discussion. They are attacked by the Nine Teddy Bears and a Giant Wiener Dog, before facing the Pengrog and the Terra-Cotta-Kai; and then departing as a fellowship.

Along the way, Blotto is rescued from the Teddy Bears' injuries to him by the aid of Chief Bananas' daughter Allywhat and her "Horse-With-No-Rear-End."

quote:

Apegorn is a spider monkey prodigy who is sent to take over the Monkey Tribe after the death of Chief Bananas and to marry Allywhat.

Parodies:

Aragorn
George W. Bush
Luke Skywalker
Neo from The Matrix
Spider-Man

He goes through all the books, and also all the characters, but I leave those for you all to discover.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 20:44

Swan Oat: Oct 9, 2012; I was selected for my skill.

quote:

It would, due to technicalities in law in other states, also render those states' laws against the diabolical practice effectively null.

Hahahaha great understanding of constitutional law there, guy!

edit:

Geokinesis posted:

Hahaha, he puts Tvtropes and Freep to shame at the same time.

That's perfect.

Swan Oat fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Nov 9, 2013

# ? Nov 9, 2013 21:10

Abitha Denton: Jan 10, 2012

I think he stole the term "deathstyle" from this incredible comic about why the author thinks gays are disgusting. Somehow it's not surprising that this kid learned so much from a comic book. But with his gay conspiracy theories, why wouldn't he use the Velvet Mafia, the coolest name for an all-gay conspiracy out there?

Djeser posted:

Quoting Dozerfleet guy:
ARTS 132 [Figure Drawing] was taken again. It did only so-so last time taken, so this repeat was an attempt to at least get a C. Alas, results were the same. At least this time, the class got spoiled once and was allowed to draw a young woman, rather than the blobs, hags, and creepy old guys that were usually the models.

I just want this paragraph to have extra attention. He calls himself an "it" in the second sentence and I cannot fathom why.

I think it says something that his obsession with naked lady figure drawing is the least unnerving part of all this.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 21:23

RoeCocoa: Oct 23, 2010

Abitha Denton posted:

He calls himself an "it" in the second sentence and I cannot fathom why.

I think "it" refers to the class. Dozerfleet Founder is, of course, perfect; it was the class that was below average. His drawings only looked like amorphous "blobs" because of the models.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 22:39

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

crowfeathers posted:

Gored By Them Things

This is amazing.

Somehow I'm not surprised that this dude thinks "parody" means "whackity schmackity doo." It just... fits.

Also:

quote:

The Two Carolers are taken out the following September 11th by dragonflies that crash themselves into the statues in a suicide bombing. Since the monkeys were canning grape jelly that morning, the tragedy becomes a national holiday in the tribe and is commemorated by canning grape jelly dubbed "9-11 Jam."

Just the kind of thing that I'd expect from honorable patriot Dozerfleet Founder!

# ? Nov 9, 2013 23:01

Cease to Hope: Dec 12, 2011

Most of this is a crazy person's diary, but there's some fact-stranger-than-fiction in here.

a literal crazy person posted:

Hitler employed the Pink Swastika for many missions, noting they were willing to deal out to those on Hitler's hit list a brutality that could not be asked of just any Nazi soldier. The Pink Swastika therefore became one of Hitler's personal goon squads, sent out for missions not even the SS and Gestapo dared attempt due to the horrifying nature of given commands.

The nonsense about Sadeans is pure crazy. The bit about the "Pink Swastika" has a kernel of truth. The Sturmabteilung, the Nazi paramilitary militia, was commanded by Ernst R�hm, for most of the years spanning Hitler's rise to power, and they did regularly intimidate or just assassinate potential political enemies and all but openly warred in the streets with communist groups. R�hm was gay, and most of the SA officers he appointed were also either gay or bisexual.

That said, it's important to keep in mind that Hitler also ordered R�hm and anyone sympathetic to him to be rounded up and executed in 1934, on the Night of the Long Knives, plus the whole part where homosexuality was grounds to be sent to a concentration camp by the Polish occupation, so arguing that Nazism was somehow a homosexual movement is back to crazytown.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 23:11

Oxxidation: Jul 22, 2007

Turns out that TvTropes was just the foyer of a house of deeper madness.

I hope everyone took off their shoes.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 23:13

Literally Kermit: Mar 4, 2012; t

Welp time to catch up with the ol' tropes thread. Wonder what terrible things have beJESUS CHRIST!

Chris-chan's nutty-weirdness is positively charming compared to this guy. And there's no need to create a creepy voyeuristic wiki for Dozerfleet because he already did it himself.
I haven't even read the wiki yet and I'm scared to go down the rabbit hole.

Also the office supply science fiction what the gently caress madness is going on here :psyduck:

# ? Nov 9, 2013 23:39

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin: Jul 19, 2000; Oven Wrangler

Literally Kermit posted:

Welp time to catch up with the ol' tropes thread. Wonder what terrible things have beJESUS CHRIST!

Chris-chan's nutty-weirdness is positively charming compared to this guy. And there's no need to create a creepy voyeuristic wiki for Dozerfleet because he already did it himself.
I haven't even read the wiki yet and I'm scared to go down the rabbit hole.

Also the office supply science fiction what the gently caress madness is going on here

This is the natural end result of the Troper-style distaste for editing and revision. There are no bad ideas and everything THE DOZERFLEET FOUNDER has ever written is sacrosanct, so naturally he turned his bored 3rd-grade daydreaming about pens going super saiyan on each other into an epic centuries-spanning space opera. With rape.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 23:50

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Holy poo poo, there's always more and it's always weirdly political, even if it's about talking bikes:

When Bikes Argue

The entire plot summary, because it's amazing posted:

This story introduces us to Colly, Ackro, and Hilo, three sentient bikes with radically different personalities. The three belong to a family that has made its way to a cabin in northern Michigan. When Colly complains that it was difficult to fit her on the minivan's harness, Ackro tries in detail to explain the logic behind the male dominance of bike harness manufacturing. This offends Colly's feminist sympathies, as she reacts to him with self-righteous denunciation of him. The Texas warhawk bicycle Hilo then accuses Ackro of being a communist and correctly identifies Colly as a feminist.

When Ackro tries to defend himself, Hilo changes the subject by talking first about the failures of NASA and then of his dreams of fighting terrorists. Ackro quickly blows off and ridicules Hilo's beliefs that the Islamic prophet Muhammad is secretly an undead vampire; and that the secret to winning the War on Terror is to drop a nuclear bomb on Mecca. Colly accuses the two male bikes of being racist, arguing that some of their paint was probably manufactured with Arab petroleum. She then suggests that one of Hilo's hypothetical nukes may be defective, which frightens Ackro. The three then argue about what holiday it is and when they'll get off the harness. The story ends with Ackro inquiring as to when the 4th of July fireworks start.

Wait, making fun of warhawks? What? Don't worry, the Dozerfleet founder will reassure you:

quote:

He is a stereotype of what Leftists believed the Bush administration was like in 2003 and 2004.

There's also a When Bikes Argue 2, intended to be the start of a series:

quote:

The idea was to use the same props as When Bikes Argue; but to expand upon the worldviews and lifestyles of the sentient bikes.

Alas, tragedy struck:

quote:

The idea for an ongoing series was scrapped when the Huffy Snake Rock playing Ackro lost its rear axle.

Honestly, it's hard not to emptyquote this guy, because literally every wiki page is treasure.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 00:10

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

I don't know how The Dozerfleet Founder did it, but he has achieved the authentic authorial style of a computer voice synthesizer. Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto could take notes from him. Stephen Hawking is melodious in comparison. Robocop looked at his writing and said, "Dude, liven it up."

# ? Nov 10, 2013 00:59

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Cease to Hope posted:

That said, it's important to keep in mind that Hitler also ordered R�hm and anyone sympathetic to him to be rounded up and executed in 1934, on the Night of the Long Knives, plus the whole part where homosexuality was grounds to be sent to a concentration camp by the Polish occupation, so arguing that Nazism was somehow a homosexual movement is back to crazytown.

I remember my A-Level history class had a good laugh when we were covering the Night of the Long Knives and read a source, purportedly written my Hitler's driver, describing the arrest of R�hm. I think was something like, "Hitler entered R�hm's room with a whip..."

# ? Nov 10, 2013 01:15

Literally Kermit: Mar 4, 2012; t

Metal Loaf posted:

I remember my A-Level history class had a good laugh when we were covering the Night of the Long Knives and read a source, purportedly written my Hitler's driver, describing the arrest of R�hm. I think was something like, "Hitler entered R�hm's room with a whip..."

H-Hitler belongs to you? Or you just own one of the many people who drove Hitler? :v:

Re: 3rd grade pens fighting league, I was totally guilty of this but I didn't develop them into full fledged characters.

And then break them down into bite-sized soulless definitions.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 01:25

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Literally Kermit posted:

H-Hitler belongs to you? Or you just own one of the many people who drove Hitler?

No, we each had a Hitler and they all had their own drivers.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 01:42

Bear Sleuth: Jul 17, 2011

He has this weird issue where he personifies objects. The pens, these bikes, and it appears his LOTR parody is filled with his stuffed animals and toys. Is there a mental condition where people do this? There was that lady from a few years back who said she was in love with bridges and bookcases and stuff.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 01:44

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Bear Sleuth posted:

He has this weird issue where he personifies objects. The pens, these bikes, and it appears his LOTR parody is filled with his stuffed animals and toys. Is there a mental condition where people do this? There was that lady from a few years back who said she was in love with bridges and bookcases and stuff.

My assumption is that the guy is just working with the materials he has available, albeit in a childlike way; the LotR parody in particular reminds me of the dumb videos kids will make using toys as "actors." What confuses me is that sometimes he seems to be considering these objects as actual anthropomorphized objects -- the bike thing talking about paint and rusting and his general weird commitment to talking about "the lifestyle of sentient bikes" -- and sometimes he writes stories where the characters could just be humans, and indeed it would be way less nonsensical. Christ, weren't those sex stats from his goddamn stationery story? How the hell does a pen have anal sex?

(Please don't answer that question.)

# ? Nov 10, 2013 02:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 08:51

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Antivehicular posted:

My assumption is that the guy is just working with the materials he has available, albeit in a childlike way; the LotR parody in particular reminds me of the dumb videos kids will make using toys as "actors." What confuses me is that sometimes he seems to be considering these objects as actual anthropomorphized objects -- the bike thing talking about paint and rusting and his general weird commitment to talking about "the lifestyle of sentient bikes" -- and sometimes he writes stories where the characters could just be humans, and indeed it would be way less nonsensical. Christ, weren't those sex stats from his goddamn stationery story? How the hell does a pen have anal sex?

(Please don't answer that question.)

Chris Chan did similar things, so maybe he's autistic?

# ? Nov 10, 2013 02:12

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > TV Trops

«‹›222 »