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Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

rolleyes posted:

drat, jacking a laptop from a charity on your way out the door is pretty scummy.

At every place I've worked there's a certain level of employee where you just don't give your laptop back :confused:

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Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it

rolleyes posted:

To resume the earlier chat about having a common firstname.lastname@gmail.com address:


Dear Person With The Same First Name As Me But An Entirely Different Surname,

Congratulations on managing to land yourself an interview! In future, please remember to get your name correct when specifying the email address your prospective employer should send a psychological/personality assessment test to. Since I have no other contact details for you, I have taken the trouble of replying to the email to let the hiring company know of the error. Having failed the fairly basic filter of 'candidate should be able to remember their own name' I think your :yotj: attempt might not get too far on this occasion, but you never know.

Regards,
Me.

You received someone else's psych profile exam and didn't set it to slobbering psychotic?

Galler
Jan 28, 2008


Those things take way too loving long to do one as a joke.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
"This is unacceptable" and "I don't want to hear that."

Maybe then you should have told me about this project last month when you found out instead of two days before rollout.

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

rolleyes posted:

To resume the earlier chat about having a common firstname.lastname@gmail.com address:


Dear Person With The Same First Name As Me But An Entirely Different Surname,

Congratulations on managing to land yourself an interview! In future, please remember to get your name correct when specifying the email address your prospective employer should send a psychological/personality assessment test to. Since I have no other contact details for you, I have taken the trouble of replying to the email to let the hiring company know of the error. Having failed the fairly basic filter of 'candidate should be able to remember their own name' I think your :yotj: attempt might not get too far on this occasion, but you never know.

Regards,
Me.
So, uh, you're sure the HR person didn't just mistype it?

Mercurius
May 4, 2004

Amp it up.

Misogynist posted:

So, uh, you're sure the HR person didn't just mistype it?
Even if it was a mistake on their end, I'm sure rolleyes was professional enough to have sent a 'hey, this was mistakenly received' reply without any of his comments here. We use this thread as a way to vent about stupid stuff so we don't say or do those things to people at our jobs.

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Mercurius posted:

Even if it was a mistake on their end, I'm sure rolleyes was professional enough to have sent a 'hey, this was mistakenly received' reply without any of his comments here. We use this thread as a way to vent about stupid stuff so we don't say or do those things to people at our jobs.
Sometimes I'm very dense and forget which of my 85 open browser tabs I'm reading. :saddowns:

Dilbert As FUCK
Sep 8, 2007

by Cowcaster
Pillbug
So because I didn't tell the engineer who I helped save his project "what raid levels" should be deployed in his array he bought without finding out what the environment needs. He loaded the thing up with 600GB SAS decided since I asked "weel what metrics did you gather in your planning with X" and a response of "I didn't do that man 15k is fast just lemme know what raid level is best for Y/Z!'


So he decides raid One raid 1, 1 4disk RAID 5, 8disk RAID 0+1 for the whole raid is best because 'it's somewhat more that the customer had with the old array'.... He comes back to me "poo poo man my raid 0+1 is complaining about low storage! can you fix this?"

It's awesome because I discussed the requirements for their environment before hand with him and got a "yeah yeah well 15k = way to go" Apparently teir'ing storage is for nerds and "don't have time for that man".

No, asking me what raid levels to deploy for customer WHILE I am helping you rack and boot the HP MSA is NOT how you do a successful deployment

Dilbert As FUCK fucked around with this message at 06:02 on Nov 13, 2013

Ynglaur
Oct 9, 2013

The Malta Conference, anyone?
Today I had to explain to a help desk technician that running Internet Explorer in administrator-mode will not magically resolve a domain name. I had to walk him through how SiteMinder changes URLs, but still had to humor him by typing in both the original URL, as well as what it should like under SiteMinder.

Neither worked, of course, because the whole purpose of a VPN solution is to make it look like you can get access to what you need, without actually providing such access.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Pissing me off:

Being brought into discussions with co-workers about how poo poo our management is. It's different to this thread. At work I realise that the co-workers' problems are also mine. At least here I can close a tab :(

underlig
Sep 13, 2007
Iphone 4s with broken wifi-chip (won't turn on / find networks) (known problem on 4s)

User reported it, i told him to bring it to me and he'd get to borrow an older android phone.

User brings it to me 30 days after he first told me about it, i reset it, update it, call Apple who wants me to give them a cc number before they'll fix it, then they tell me it went out of warranty 8 days earlier.

Send it to the people we bought it from, they first quoted me €150 to fix it, turns out it's actually €380 (wtf), i tell them no and to return it, get to pay €80 just for freight.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


underlig posted:

Iphone 4s with broken wifi-chip (won't turn on / find networks) (known problem on 4s)

User reported it, i told him to bring it to me and he'd get to borrow an older android phone.

User brings it to me 30 days after he first told me about it, i reset it, update it, call Apple who wants me to give them a cc number before they'll fix it, then they tell me it went out of warranty 8 days earlier.

Send it to the people we bought it from, they first quoted me €150 to fix it, turns out it's actually €380 (wtf), i tell them no and to return it, get to pay €80 just for freight.

At least your company buys name brand devices with a chain of supply for parts, you could be in a world of generic cheap android knockoffs

Lum
Aug 13, 2003

HalloKitty posted:

gently caress, that was my first thought.

Mine was "Why the gently caress is the sound defaulted to IRQ10? Everyone knows they come set to either 5 or 7". Then I realised that no-one knows that any more as it's irrelevant.

I do kind of miss the days when I had much respect from my circle of friends as the person who could write a CONFIG.SYS/AUTOEXEC.BAT suitable for any game they acquired, complete with pretty menus and everything.

stubblyhead
Sep 13, 2007

That is treason, Johnny!

Fun Shoe

underlig posted:

User brings it to me 30 days after he first told me about it, i reset it, update it, call Apple who wants me to give them a cc number before they'll fix it, then they tell me it went out of warranty 8 days earlier.

How hard did you press the matter with Apple? Since you had documentation of the issue before the warranty expired it's possible they would have done it anyway.

hihifellow
Jun 17, 2005

seriously where the fuck did this genre come from

Lum posted:

Mine was "Why the gently caress is the sound defaulted to IRQ10? Everyone knows they come set to either 5 or 7". Then I realised that no-one knows that any more as it's irrelevant.

Thank god I wasn't the only who thought that. So many years in that blue menu on grey background setup.exe setting sound card IRQs and DMAs it's permanently etched into my brain.

Sweevo
Nov 8, 2007

i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

There was some reason the COM ports had to be on different IRQs. I can't remember what it was (maybe mouse driver?). IRQs 3/4/5/9 were the only settings the card allowed, and 7 was already used for the on-board parallel port and couldn't be disabled. So 10 was the only free IRQ for the sound.

Setting up your perfect fantasy IRQ allocation is easy. In real life you have to work with what you've got, and work around the restrictions.

Lum
Aug 13, 2003

Sweevo posted:

There was some reason the COM ports had to be on different IRQs. I can't remember what it was (maybe mouse driver?). IRQs 3/4/5/9 were the only settings the card allowed, and 7 was already used for the on-board parallel port and couldn't be disabled. So 10 was the only free IRQ for the sound.

Setting up your perfect fantasy IRQ allocation is easy. In real life you have to work with what you've got, and work around the restrictions.

I do remember having internal modem on COM3 and mouse on COM1 used to cause issues. I just set it to IRQ2/9 (and yes I can remember why 2&9 are the same thing!), with the SoundBlaster on IRQ7. IRQ10 was for the third IDE controller I happened to have, since in those days having a CD burner sharing with any other device would screw things up.

I think the Gravis UltraSound may have defaulted to 10, but I was never rich enough to own one of those, and back in those days you either owned a SoundBlaster compatible card, or you didn't get sound in half of your games.

hihifellow posted:

Thank god I wasn't the only who thought that. So many years in that blue menu on grey background setup.exe setting sound card IRQs and DMAs it's permanently etched into my brain.

SET BLASTER=A220 I5 D1 H5

Only for 99% of games to ignore that and demand manual configuration.

Lum fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Nov 13, 2013

MrBling
Aug 21, 2003

Oozing machismo
Fiddling with EMS and XMS and trying to free up enough memory was more annoying than setting IRQ/DMA.

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

MrBling posted:

Fiddling with EMS and XMS and trying to free up enough memory was more annoying than setting IRQ/DMA.
Days of my young life, wasted loving with EMM386.EXE so Ultima VII or whatever would run.

HalloKitty
Sep 30, 2005

Adjust the bass and let the Alpine blast

Lum posted:

Mine was "Why the gently caress is the sound defaulted to IRQ10? Everyone knows they come set to either 5 or 7". Then I realised that no-one knows that any more as it's irrelevant.

I had a sound card fairly late, but I do remember having to change jumpers on various devices to adjust the IRQ. Then again, I enjoyed PC Speaker music. Especially when you had a decent driver, not just a stupid buzzer like today.

I also once had a motherboard that lacked a CMOS battery (it was soldered on and had been torn off to remove the password), and no auto-detect for the HDD, so I had to remember the parameters on every cold boot for my cavernous 245MB HDD. Glorious times... kind of.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

HalloKitty posted:

I had a sound card fairly late, but I do remember having to change jumpers on various devices to adjust the IRQ. Then again, I enjoyed PC Speaker music. Especially when you had a decent driver, not just a stupid buzzer like today.

PC speaker has always been 'just a buzzer'. And there was never 'PC speaker music'

HalloKitty
Sep 30, 2005

Adjust the bass and let the Alpine blast

Bob Morales posted:

PC speaker has always been 'just a buzzer'. And there was never 'PC speaker music'

Tell that to Pinball Fantasies. Or Lotus III. Or Monkey Island. Or Leisure Suit Larry.

I played plenty of DOS games that modulated the basic IBM PC speaker to be something that elevated it far above "beep".

Hell, I even had a Windows programme that could take a proper WAV file and output through PC speaker (albeit mangled to hell because of the inherit limitations).

HalloKitty fucked around with this message at 18:01 on Nov 13, 2013

ookiimarukochan
Apr 4, 2011

Lum posted:

I think the Gravis UltraSound may have defaulted to 10, but I was never rich enough to own one of those, and back in those days you either owned a SoundBlaster compatible card, or you didn't get sound in half of your games.
SoundBlaster for games, yes, but I remember being irritated as hell at a bunch of demos only supporting Gravis for sound.

Bob Morales posted:

PC speaker has always been 'just a buzzer'. And there was never 'PC speaker music'

Either you're being sarcastic about the quality, or else you never played PC games before Adlib cards became popular (I also remember there being a "PC Speaker" soundcard driver for Windows 3.1 though it's been so long that I can't remember if it was 1st or 3rd party.)

ookiimarukochan fucked around with this message at 17:59 on Nov 13, 2013

Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it

Bob Morales posted:

PC speaker has always been 'just a buzzer'. And there was never 'PC speaker music'

Yeah, they've always been buzzers, but the frequency has always been modulateable. Old dos-based games pre-sound card era definitely took advantage of this. Hell, I had a piano program that would play tones over the PC-speaker on my 8088.

Kings quest had a whole soundtrack that played over this, and they even tried to give the ogres and whatnot voices by doing rapid modulation of the frequency to make it sound like they were talking.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.
AdLib for life... :unsmith:

I know people hate printers, but executive assistants have to be a close second place.

hihifellow
Jun 17, 2005

seriously where the fuck did this genre come from
There were some wizards who could push that tiny little speaker to its limits. The PC game Ghostbusters II even had a passable "I, VIGO, THE SCOURGE OF CARPATHIA" that scared the hell out of a 7 year old me.

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair

Dick Trauma posted:

I know people hate printers, but executive assistants have to be a close second place.

One usually leads to the other.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?

Bob Morales posted:

PC speaker has always been 'just a buzzer'. And there was never 'PC speaker music'

This is incorrect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RealSound <-- this was a thing. I remember playing Mean Streets with this on it.

EDIT: Beaten. it happens when I have to do real work while browsing the forums :(

nitrogen fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Nov 13, 2013

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Paladine_PSoT posted:

Kings quest had a whole soundtrack that played over this, and they even tried to give the ogres and whatnot voices by doing rapid modulation of the frequency to make it sound like they were talking.
I remember the PC speaker announcing "BATTLETECH: THE CRESCENT HAWKS' REVENGE" when you started that game. It was a hell of a technical feat, honestly.

HalloKitty
Sep 30, 2005

Adjust the bass and let the Alpine blast

nitrogen posted:

This is incorrect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RealSound <-- this was a thing. I remember playing Mean Streets with this on it.

EDIT: Beaten. it happens when I have to do real work while browsing the forums :(

The link on that Wiki is great. A treasure chest of PC speaker at far beyond the designed purpose.
http://www.oldskool.org/sound/pc/#digitized

I would always take the proper large speaker from my older PCs to my newer ones. Toss away those silly piezo buzzers that came with cheap later cases. Well, not any more of course, boards come with them onboard or not even at all, and now you'd have no use for it. DOSbox can emulate PC speaker anyhow.

HalloKitty fucked around with this message at 18:59 on Nov 13, 2013

Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it

HalloKitty posted:

The link on that Wiki is great. A treasure chest of PC speaker at far beyond the designed purpose.
http://www.oldskool.org/sound/pc/#digitized

I would always take the proper large speaker from my older PCs to my newer ones. Toss away those silly piezo buzzers that came with cheap later cases. Well, not any more of course, boards come with them onboard or not even at all, and now you'd have no use for it. DOSbox can emulate PC speaker anyhow.

I wonder if PWM still works natively... Mute doesn't effect the onboard pc speaker, so I just got an idea for a hilarious prank.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

HalloKitty posted:

Tell that to Pinball Fantasies. Or Lotus III. Or Monkey Island. Or Leisure Suit Larry.

I played plenty of DOS games that modulated the basic IBM PC speaker to be something that elevated it far above "beep".

Hell, I even had a Windows programme that could take a proper WAV file and output through PC speaker (albeit mangled to hell because of the inherit limitations).

I knew that you *could* but I just didn't remember any games actually doing it - it was mostly just bleeps and bloops but I remember downloading little one-trick programs that would play a terrible rendition of certain songs or noises through PC speaker.

Once I got my first 8-bit Soundblaster card I was blown away.

Fil5000
Jun 23, 2003

HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Lum posted:

I do remember having internal modem on COM3 and mouse on COM1 used to cause issues. I just set it to IRQ2/9 (and yes I can remember why 2&9 are the same thing!), with the SoundBlaster on IRQ7. IRQ10 was for the third IDE controller I happened to have, since in those days having a CD burner sharing with any other device would screw things up.

I think the Gravis UltraSound may have defaulted to 10, but I was never rich enough to own one of those, and back in those days you either owned a SoundBlaster compatible card, or you didn't get sound in half of your games.


SET BLASTER=A220 I5 D1 H5

Only for 99% of games to ignore that and demand manual configuration.

Didn't you also need "T4" or something in there? I'm sure mine used to have it in.

mdemone
Mar 14, 2001

In the middle of a semester where I have to be in constant contact with over 700 students, our IT switched the faculty email system from Novell Groupwise (which was an enormous piece of poo poo) to Outlook & Office 365 (which is so much worse that I want to go back in time and stop Microsoft from existing).

Why, why does the Outlook Web App have to be so goddamned lovely? Do they not have a half dozen competent programmers at Microsoft?

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Fil5000 posted:

Didn't you also need "T4" or something in there? I'm sure mine used to have it in.

code:
SET BLASTER=A220 I5 D1 T3 P330 H6 E620
 |    |     |    |  |  |  |    |  |
 |    |     |    |  |  |  |    |  |_______ AWE 32 Only Parameter
 |    |     |    |  |  |  |    |__________ "High" DMA Channel
 |    |     |    |  |  |  |_______________ MIDI Port
 |    |     |    |  |  |__________________ Type of Card
 |    |     |    |  |_____________________ DMA Channel
 |    |     |    |________________________ Interrupt
 |    |     |_____________________________ Port Address
 |    |___________________________________ Environment Variable
 |________________________________________ DOS Command

NOTE: There can be no spaces between the word BLASTER and the equal sign (=).
If you have a space in there, your system will read the parameter incorrectly,
and it will not be recognized by our games.

(Some of these parameters (P, H, and E) are dependant on certain types of
cards.  For example, the E is only needed if you have an AWE 32.  The
minimum requirements are to have the A, I, D, & T parameters.  The other
three may or may not be needed depending on what type of card you have.
Please read this entire section to see if you need any of them.  If you
are using a clone card, or some card that's not a "true" Soundblaster,
then you will most likely only need A, I, D, and T.)

Now, these may not (most likely not) be the same for your board, because the
Port Address, Interrupt and DMA Channel can be set by adjusting "jumpers" on
your sound board.  Some newer cards have this information controlled by
software, please consult your card's manual for more information on how to set
these things.  You should also check your manual if you are unclear as to how
to tell what settings your card is set at.  The information *IS* important, so
it's recommended that you know precisely what the settings are.  If you are
using a card that "emulates" the Soundblaster (such as the Gravis UltraSound
through software, or the PAS16), you should check your card's manual on how to
set the card for Soundblaster emulation.

For PORT ADDRESS, it's almost always 220.  That seems to be the default for
most sound cards out there, and unless you know you've switched it away from
220, it's a safe bet it's still there.

The INTERRUPT is something that varies from system to system.  Mystic Towers
and games prior to Raptor require that your IRQ be set at 7 or less.  Apogee
does not recommend using IRQ2, as it causes problems.

The DMA CHANNEL sometimes causes problems if it isn't set to 1, which is the
usual default.  If it is not set correctly, some Apogee games may lock up
when the sound is turned on.

The TYPE OF CARD should be 1 if you have an older Soundblaster, or a Sound
Blaster emulating card.  Use 3 if you have a newer plain Soundblaster.  Use
2 for an older Soundblaster Pro.  Use 4 for a newer Soundblaster Pro.

The MIDI PORT parameter will only be needed if you are using a card that has
MIDI capabilites.  If so, this is where you define what MIDI port you are
using.  330 seems to be the default, so if you have a MIDI card, and you
haven't changed anything from factory defaults, this is probably where it still
is.

The HIGH DMA CHANNEL is something that is used primarily on Soundblaster 16
cards.  This is not the same as the standard DMA channel, this is a different
one.  This is only used if you're using a 16 bit sound card capable of playing
16 bit Soundblaster sounds.  By default, this is usually 5, so unless you know
that it's something else, it's probably still 5.

The E620 parameter is something that is needed _only_ if you have a Creative
Labs AWE 32 sound card.  If you have one of these, this parameter will have
been set up properly assuming you've installed the software that came with the
card.  Check your AWE 32 documentation for a more thorough explanation of what
this parameter is used for.

Note on the Soundblaster AWE64:  The AWE64 will not always correctly set up
its sound drivers for use in Windows 95 in relation to DOS games.  There is
information on how to get around this in the README.TXT file that is installed
on your hard drive in the AWE64 driver directory.

After you have entered the correct SET BLASTER line in your AUTOEXEC.BAT
file, make sure you save the change, delete the game's config file (????.CFG),
and reboot before you try playing the game again.
MSCDEX.EXE /D:MSCD001 /L:D

:haw:

SubjectVerbObject
Jul 27, 2009

Misogynist posted:

Days of my young life, wasted loving with EMM386.EXE so Ultima VII or whatever would run.

Messing with PC config files got me started on the path that let me to an IT career. I am not sure if that is good or bad.

rolleyes
Nov 16, 2006

Sometimes you have to roll the hard... two?
As has been briefly mentioned, the PC speaker was not only capable of playing music, but Pinball Fantasies even used it to play back 3-track MOD files.

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009
poo poo pissing me off for the last year: FGLRX.

200$ for a Nvidia card and a power supply for my PC at work? gently caress that! Use this Radeon instead! :suicide:

evol262
Nov 30, 2010
#!/usr/bin/perl

ratbert90 posted:

poo poo pissing me off for the last year: FGLRX.

200$ for a Nvidia card and a power supply for my PC at work? gently caress that! Use this Radeon instead! :suicide:

fglrx mostly works these days, but the open radeon driver is good enough that you only need fglrx for CAD work, essentially.

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Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it

AT E1Q0V1X4 &C1 &D2 S0=0 S11=34

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