Clockwork Empires 1.0 - Having A Roanoke Time!

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OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Orv posted:

I won't disabuse you of that notion, but it is here that you can go to get knowledge.

Holy crap that's awesome, is that supposed to be a typical game of CE?

# ? Nov 19, 2013 09:44

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 05:10

Orv: May 4, 2011

OwlFancier posted:

Holy crap that's awesome, is that supposed to be a typical game of CE?

Those were the intent (nvining can confirm/deny here) of those in-universe stories I believe. To semi-embellishedly (a word!) portray a game of CE.

# ? Nov 19, 2013 14:11

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

OwlFancier posted:

Could someone explain what this is, please? Because I am otherwise going to assume you can train an elite squad of ghost exam supervisors to disqualify spectres from the material realm for cheating.

It's a team of crack lawyers trained to take ghosts to court and try them for trespassing. The Lhankor Mhy Institute of Law.

# ? Nov 19, 2013 16:22

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Aw man, I love that game! The fucker would always win the case against me, forcing me to build a new stead :sigh:

# ? Nov 19, 2013 19:04

nvining: May 30, 2011; tunnels through walls with its odd, rubbery nasal appliance

Deadmeat5150 posted:

It's a team of crack lawyers trained to take ghosts to court and try them for trespassing. The Lhankor Mhy Institute of Law.

I now desperately want to see Lhankor Mhy: Attorney At Law. The role of the earnest, incompetent detective will be played by Urox.

# ? Nov 19, 2013 20:25

Agean90: Jun 28, 2008

The People vs Lizzie Borden. Defendant stands accused of unlawful occupancy and breaking local noise ordinances...

# ? Nov 19, 2013 20:51

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

nvining posted:

I now desperately want to see Lhankor Mhy: Attorney At Law. The role of the earnest, incompetent detective will be played by Urox.

That's not a really Urox's role. That role should be filled by Barntar. Besides, there's nothing wrong with an Uroxi Lawspeaker :colbert:

# ? Nov 19, 2013 22:17

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

As long as you don't mind them treating all witnesses as hostile. Headbutts and beer for all!

# ? Nov 19, 2013 22:33

Party Ape: Mar 5, 2007; Don't pay $10 bucks to change my avatar! Send me a $10 donation to Doctors with Borders and I'll stop posting for 24 hours!

Deadmeat5150 posted:

That's not a really Urox's role. That role should be filled by Barntar. Besides, there's nothing wrong with an Uroxi Lawspeaker

Urox would be more like the shouty no rule breaking police captain.

# ? Nov 19, 2013 22:42

Pwnstar: Dec 9, 2007; Who wants some waffles?

You've been causing chaos on the streets McBain! You know I hate chaos! *sad trombone*

# ? Nov 19, 2013 23:39

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Am I the only one who would pay to see a show/game/anything with Humakt or Orlanth being the good cop to Urox' RENEGADE STYLINGS? Just putting that out there.

# ? Nov 20, 2013 10:51

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

So the game is clockwork emperors of dragon pass colony now?

# ? Nov 20, 2013 10:52

Orv: May 4, 2011

OwlFancier posted:

So the game is clockwork emperors of dragon pass colony now?

Why is my wallet suddenly on the desk, I don't remember getting it out...

# ? Nov 20, 2013 11:31

PiCroft: Jun 11, 2010; I'm sorry, did I break all your shit? I didn't know it was yours

I know next to nothing about this game, but reading some of the weird fiction on the website is enough to make me want to buy it.

# ? Nov 20, 2013 11:58

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

OwlFancier posted:

So the game is clockwork emperors of dragon pass colony now?

I just threw a handful of money at my monitor. What the hell is wrong with me?

Tias posted:

Am I the only one who would pay to see a show/game/anything with Humakt or Orlanth being the good cop to Urox' RENEGADE STYLINGS? Just putting that out there.

Humakt would be the hard-boiled no-nonsense cop to Orlanth's reckless stylings. Urox would be John McClane only drunk.

Edit: drat autocorrect.

Deadmeat5150 fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Nov 20, 2013

# ? Nov 20, 2013 16:45

nvining: May 30, 2011; tunnels through walls with its odd, rubbery nasal appliance

Ah, it's always good when this thread turns into talking about King of Dragon Pass. (Apparently this has happened a few times?)

This week, David writes code. And, uh, we think his sanity has suffered as a result:

http://www.gaslampgames.com/2013/11/20/the-codebase-of-elemental-evil/

# ? Nov 20, 2013 19:47

Galaga Galaxian: Apr 23, 2009; What a childish tactic!
Don't you think you should put more thought into your battleplan?!

nvining posted:

http://www.gaslampgames.com/2013/11/20/the-codebase-of-elemental-evil/

Wonderful.

# ? Nov 20, 2013 19:58

Wiggly Wayne DDS: Sep 11, 2010

nvining posted:

Ah, it's always good when this thread turns into talking about King of Dragon Pass. (Apparently this has happened a few times?)

This week, David writes code. And, uh, we think his sanity has suffered as a result:

http://www.gaslampgames.com/2013/11/20/the-codebase-of-elemental-evil/

Requesting a green channel only filter for launch.

# ? Nov 20, 2013 20:06

Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

nvining posted:

Ah, it's always good when this thread turns into talking about King of Dragon Pass. (Apparently this has happened a few times?)

This week, David writes code. And, uh, we think his sanity has suffered as a result:

http://www.gaslampgames.com/2013/11/20/the-codebase-of-elemental-evil/

Oh hey I actually understood the technical references in this update!

# ? Nov 20, 2013 23:51

Gibbo: Sep 13, 2008; "yes James. Remove that from my presence. It... Offends me" *sips overpriced wine*

Is there going to be a Vancouver based release party when the game comes out? I might catch a boat over if there is. (and it's not staff only?) Been a while since I've been over there and I've been pimping the game pretty hard to a bunch of my friends.

# ? Nov 21, 2013 01:03

nvining: May 30, 2011; tunnels through walls with its odd, rubbery nasal appliance

Gibbo posted:

Is there going to be a Vancouver based release party when the game comes out? I might catch a boat over if there is. (and it's not staff only?) Been a while since I've been over there and I've been pimping the game pretty hard to a bunch of my friends.

I, for one, will be having a very stiff drink. However, I think we're a bit far away from planning that particular event!

# ? Nov 21, 2013 01:31

Dice Dice Baby: Aug 30, 2004; I like "faggots"

nvining posted:

Ah, it's always good when this thread turns into talking about King of Dragon Pass. (Apparently this has happened a few times?)

I thought they were talking about Viking sagas :doh:

# ? Nov 21, 2013 03:07

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

nvining posted:

I, for one, will be having a very stiff drink. However, I think we're a bit far away from planning that particular event!

Well when you do make sure you let everyone know. I might be able to catch a boat over as well. Catching a boat is actually pretty easy when on Whidbey Island.

# ? Nov 21, 2013 06:34

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

I may require a few weeks notice to catch the transtlantic steamer to the colonies, so I probably can't attend, alas.

# ? Nov 21, 2013 10:02

Spaceking: Aug 27, 2012; One for the road...

OwlFancier posted:

I may require a few weeks notice to catch the transtlantic steamer to the colonies, so I probably can't attend, alas.

Nonsense. All we need is a catapult. A very large catapult.

# ? Nov 21, 2013 11:00

nvining: May 30, 2011; tunnels through walls with its odd, rubbery nasal appliance

David has actually been trying to play the game. I append his report here:

"Wasn't sure if poet was dead or just passed on out tenement floor. Question was answered when the town barber butchered her and ate her meat."

I think we need to turn down madness, and also starvation times; however, for those of you who kept rattling on about Sweeney Todd and meat pies, I think we're starting to get your demographic covered.

# ? Nov 22, 2013 00:53

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Was the question really answered, or does it open the question of 'Does the barber care if meat is alive or dead?'?

# ? Nov 22, 2013 03:41

BobTheJanitor: Jun 28, 2003

SynthOrange posted:

Was the question really answered, or does it open the question of 'Does the barber care if meat is alive or dead?'?

The barber hasn't got time for your philosophical musings. He finds that such questions generally work themselves out, once you start choppin'.

# ? Nov 22, 2013 03:59

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

SynthOrange posted:

Was the question really answered, or does it open the question of 'Does the barber care if meat is alive or dead?'?

This invites meta discussion about whether we care if the barber cares.

# ? Nov 22, 2013 12:10

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

And does he shave himself?

# ? Nov 22, 2013 19:46

Wipfmetz: Oct 12, 2007; Sitzen ein oder mehrere Wipfe in einer Lore, so kann man sie ueber den Rand der Lore hinausschauen sehen.

Does he shave the poet?

# ? Nov 23, 2013 13:57

Captain Vittles: Feb 12, 2008; I'm not a nerd! I'm a video game enthusiast.

Wipfmetz posted:

Does he shave the poet?

I would think so. The barber isn't really one to mince wordsmiths.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 18:28

Overwined: Sep 22, 2008; Wine can of their wits the wise beguile,
Make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.

BobTheJanitor posted:

The barber hasn't got time for your philosophical musings. He finds that such questions generally work themselves out, once you start choppin'.

The Free Meat Economy.

The Invisible Hand of Butchery.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 18:31

President Ark: May 16, 2010

This is completely unrelated to the above conversation (also: :stonk:

) but have you guys at Gaslamp ever read Arthur C. Clarke's "Tales from the White Hart" short stories? The way they're set up is a bunch of scientists telling stories about weird science and the various foibles that semi-mad scientists get up to. The two that stick out in my mind are:
-A scientist who determines that songs get stuck in your head because they in some way interact with your natural brainwave patterns and seeks to create the "perfect" song using this information, and creates something that, upon being listened to, wipes out all higher brain functions (the only thing that saves the person who finds the body is that they're tone deaf)
-Another one, tired of people talking during lectures, creates a device that broadcasts sound waves tuned to the opposite of whatever it's detecting (valleys for peaks, peaks for valleys) with the result that, as long as it's on, nothing audible can happen in its range of effect... until he leaves it on too long, the device starts feeding back into itself, and explodes

The sort of weirdly comic tone, the setting, and of course the wacky inventions that get discussed in them seem pretty fitting of CE.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 21:48

Demiurge4: Aug 10, 2011

President Ark posted:

This is completely unrelated to the above conversation (also: ) but have you guys at Gaslamp ever read Arthur C. Clarke's "Tales from the White Hart" short stories? The way they're set up is a bunch of scientists telling stories about weird science and the various foibles that semi-mad scientists get up to. The two that stick out in my mind are:
-A scientist who determines that songs get stuck in your head because they in some way interact with your natural brainwave patterns and seeks to create the "perfect" song using this information, and creates something that, upon being listened to, wipes out all higher brain functions (the only thing that saves the person who finds the body is that they're tone deaf)
-Another one, tired of people talking during lectures, creates a device that broadcasts sound waves tuned to the opposite of whatever it's detecting (valleys for peaks, peaks for valleys) with the result that, as long as it's on, nothing audible can happen in its range of effect... until he leaves it on too long, the device starts feeding back into itself, and explodes

The sort of weirdly comic tone, the setting, and of course the wacky inventions that get discussed in them seem pretty fitting of CE.

Those are really cool. Other invention ideas off the top of my head is a chair that enhances the users cognitive abilities (and occasionally acts as an electric chair), a dousing rod designed to find eldritch artifacts and a furnace with a ~~benign~~ evil spirit trapped inside it.

A bunch of Thaumcraft inventions would be fun too. The brain in a jar, golems and the infusion altar come to mind.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 22:28

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Spaceking posted:

Nonsense. All we need is a catapult. A very large catapult.

Now I have to post this

quote:

Reaching the Americas:
One Mad Scientist's Approach
by
Professor Emeritus Jeff Vogel, PhD

Abstract: A variety of potential techniques for sending a person to the Americas are given. Results of attempted use of these techniques are described. Blame is assigned.

The question of how to send a person across the Atlantic Ocean to the Americas in a content, sentient, whole state is a heavily discussed open question in the contemporary literature. We have attempted to do so in a variety of ways, with results of varying effectiveness and horror.

Methodology: The state allocated a pool of Convicts for our attempts. Each convict was a male Caucasian weighing between 60 and 100 kg. Each had a swarthy complexion, a beard, a foul disposition, and a gruff, pirate-like voice. The Convicts were each offered a substantial reward if they made the journey to the Americas successfully. Unwilling Convicts were heavily sedated with Rum.

Attempt 1: Swallowed By Whale
Following long-established Biblical precedent, we believed that a Convict might be able to successfully cross the ocean in the belly of a whale. With some difficulty, we were able to convince a westward-bound whale to swallow a Convict.
Result: Stomach acids dissolved Convict.
Estimated Chance of Technique Succeeding In Future: %0.000

Attempt 2: Swallowed By Whale, Revision 1
Exactly the same as previous technique, but this time we pumped the whale's stomach first.
Result: Convict suffocated.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.000

Attempt 3: Swallowed By Whale, Revision 2
Exactly the same as previous technique, but this time we gave the convict scuba gear and a tank of oxygen.
Result: Whale swam off. Not seen again. We wish Convict the best of luck.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.003

Attempt 4: Dolphin Transport
We located a group of friendly dolphins and convinced them, with gifts of fish, to drag Convict across to the Americas. Convict would cling to dolphin's fin.
Result: Shortly after journey began, Convict was eaten by a whale.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.000

Attempt 5: Catapult
We built a large catapult, pointed it west, and flung the convict towards the Americas.
Result: Catapult was nowhere near powerful enough. Convict landed in ocean, at which point h:e was eaten by a whale.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.000

Attempt 6: Catapult, Revision 1
Following long calculations, we constructed a catapult powerful enough to fling one of the lighter Convicts across the ocean to the Americas.
Result: Convict was flung with such force that air friction caused him to burst into flames. Newly charred state increased air resistance. Convict fell into ocean, where he was eaten by a whale.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.002

It was clear at this point that the local whales had developed an unsavory taste for human flesh. We were thus forced to devise more creative solutions for attempting the crossing.

Attempt 7: Teleportation
Teleportation, in this case, would be the difficult technique of transporting a Convict to the Americas by disintegrating him here and reintegrating him there. With great expense, we constructed a teleportation device and stuck a Convict inside.
Result: Convict did not so much "Disintegrate" as "Melt."
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.000

Attempt 8: Teleportation,Revision 1
With great difficulty and expense, we reworked our teleportation device. Then, again with great difficulty and expense, we managed to get the Convict to get inside.
Result: Convict disintegrated successfully. Reintegration, however, turned out to be difficulty. Perhaps he reappeared safely on the other side of the ocean. In an infinite universe, anything is possible.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.002

Attempt 9: Carried By Birds
Convict was placed on a deck chair. One hundred pigeons were tied to deck chair with long strings, so that they could carry it aloft.
Result: Pigeons lifted chair fifty feet in the air and attempted, unsuccessfully, to fly in different directions. An hour later, they grew fatigued, and the experiment ended very, very quickly.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.000

Attempt 10: Carried By Birds, Revision 1
Control of one hundred pigeons being very difficult, we decided to instead genetically engineer one very large bird of prey which could be more easily steered. We tethered the resulting giant raptor to the deck chair with the Convict.
Result: Convict eaten by bird.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.000

Attempt 11: Carried By Birds, Revision 2
Exactly the same as previous attempt, but convict was covered with a thick, very unappetizing sauce.
Result: Convict eaten by bird.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.000

Attempt 12: Combination of Previous Techniques
Science has shown us that, if several techniques fail, a combination of all of them has a much higher chance of succeeding. Therefore, we covered a Convict with unappetizing sauce, gave him an aqualung, put him in the belly of a stomach-pumped whale, tethered the whale to a half dozen giant raptors, and fired the whole mess westward from an enormous catapult.
Result: Unrecorded, as our funding ran out just before the screaming started.
Estimated Chance of Success: %0.005

Sadly, at this point, the combined lack of funding and Convicts brought a sad end to our experiments.

Assignation of Blame for Failure: First, we blame the Atlantic Ocean, for its size, its ferocity, and the uncooperative nature of its whales. Second, we blame the laws of physics for being so cruel to the elegant theories we devised. Finally, we blame our convicts for their lack of faith in us and the experiments we used them in. Their bad attitudes were very harmful to the morale of the good men and women who wanted only to advance the cause of Science.

Conclusion: The problem of how to send someone to the Americas is sadly, still open. Fortunately, we have a number of new ideas for how the crossing might be completed, and we will begin to test them out as soon as the next load of Convicts arrives.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 22:53

Wiggly Wayne DDS: Sep 11, 2010

The Lone Badger posted:

Now I have to post this

This better be a gameplay mechanic for cargo transport to the Empire

# ? Nov 23, 2013 22:57

Poil: Mar 17, 2007

The Lone Badger posted:

Now I have to post this

It's... so beautiful.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 00:34

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

Wiggly Wayne DDS posted:

This better be a gameplay mechanic for cargo transport to the Empire

Or better yet, shortly after the scheduled cargo zeppelin from The Empire is scheduled to arrive, a whale carcass plummets from the sky onto an unfortunate segment of your outpost, scattering delicious whale blubber and unfortunate workers willy-nilly.

Options include it bursting into horrible zombie-creating insectoid enemies or a bowl of petunias winding up in the outpost as well.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 01:47

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 05:10

nvining: May 30, 2011; tunnels through walls with its odd, rubbery nasal appliance

Pre-alpha testing has commenced, and is going as badly as could be expected:

http://www.gaslampgames.com/2013/11/23/pre-alpha-testing-has-commenced-whatever-that-is/

(Those of you in the Dredmor beta knows how this goes, except now we have video drivers to worry about.)

# ? Nov 24, 2013 07:34

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