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ookiimarukochan posted:Is it MUMPS? The idea that large banks are using floats to store financial transactions because it's ~fast~ strikes me as negligent if not criminal (I have only come across MUMPS in stories on The Daily WTF so it's possible that there are no actual issues here, but given the content of the stories, I doubt it) Good guess. It is MUMPS. You can write very, very compact code in MUMPS, but you can also write code that is literally impossible to read ten minutes after you write it if you're not leaving comments. It's fun.
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Jan 5, 2014 20:37
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 its been downloading for 10 minutes and its still at zero percent..  last check for updates - - 9/1/2011
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Jan 6, 2014 22:42
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drukqs posted:
I've had 7 do that to me many times... Its actually downloading, but it fails to update the % display. If its not stuck, it will stay at 0% for awhile and then suddenly shoot to 90% when its near completion. But in some cases I've also had it get stuck at 0% for a long time requiring me to stop and restart it.
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Jan 6, 2014 22:45
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That's when you set it to go and then go home. It'll be done by tomorrow.
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Jan 6, 2014 22:47
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Got a call from the computer teacher at one of my school, she couldn't install flash for some reason. I get a standalone installer and put it on network for her. It works with no issue. She wraps up the call be informing me that 20 brand new computers arrived there today that she wasn't expecting. Apparently the parents club at the school went behind my back and ordered computers on their own instead of the ones I quoted. I fear for what's in those boxes.
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Jan 6, 2014 22:51
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XP Media Center Edition. Good luck.
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Jan 6, 2014 22:56
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Haven't we learned by now that MS progress bars are not to be trusted? They are always lies, filthy, filthy lies.
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Jan 6, 2014 23:00
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drukqs posted:
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2775511 This is a rollup of most update made between 7 SP1 and March 2013. Should help you update that rustbucket a lot quicker.
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Jan 6, 2014 23:02
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There's a site I semi-admin that said they needed help getting their new computer hooked up to their printer. No problem, I walk over there... Their "new" computer was some giveaway thing. Some company was dumping off old WinXP boxes, and these guys won one for their office... Some busted rear end 1GHz, 256Mb ram shitbox.
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Jan 6, 2014 23:09
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Have you informed them that your time will cost more than that PC is worth? Goddam I don't know why I get so irritated when poo poo companies spend gently caress all on equipment and then act surprised when it turns out to be utterly useless. It's such a repeatable pattern and you can normally tell the sorts of places that are like it within 5 minutes of walking through the door, but people still get paid for these bad decisions.
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Jan 6, 2014 23:11
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Its one of the reasons I'm happy as hell that I order all computers, then deploy and maintain them. 16 gigs of memory for everyone? gently caress yes.
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Jan 6, 2014 23:14
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Install Windows posted:http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2775511 Naw, I have SP1 downloaded but this machine and its 1.2 jiggaborts of updates mean I'll be up to date on imgur, jalopnik AND slashdot before its done
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Jan 6, 2014 23:19
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So an email came in: "Im getting one of the new iphones, how do i sync my exchange emails to the icloud." I want to go to this user, start hitting them with a rolled up newspaper and be "NO! Bad User! Bad!"
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Jan 6, 2014 23:47
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TWBalls posted:Hah. Unfortunately, I think she only got it within the last year or so, so it's probably still under warranty.
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Jan 6, 2014 23:49
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well your employer haven't bought you an iphone so you don't know, so you're going to have to apologize and explain that you don't know as you haven't done it before.
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Jan 6, 2014 23:50
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We, in our infinite wisdom, purchased device CALs and not user CALs, so anytime an employee wants to connect a device to Exchange, we ask them to give us an account number to charge the CAL to. If they figure it out on their own, more power to them.
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Jan 7, 2014 01:08
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A ticket comes in from a teammate. He has built one of our especially retarded 32-core / 64GB VMs for a database server and no one can figure out why Windows Server 2008 R2 won't show more than 8 cores in task manager. I forward him the "fwd:fwd:fwd:re:fwd:What to do if only 8 cores are being displayed in windows" email that I've sent him exactly five trillion times before about setting the VM to have 4 CPUs with 8 cores each to get 32 cores. It seems that every time one of these 'tard boxes gets built whoever builds them catches a case of dumb as well. gently caress our IaaS guys for billing VMs with 2GB/1core as the basic unit. gently caress dumb people for not knowing what they are doing. gently caress this. gently caress that. gently caress that over there as well.
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Jan 7, 2014 01:26
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gently caress everything!
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Jan 7, 2014 01:35
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But most importantly, gently caress printers
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Jan 7, 2014 01:40
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gently caress printers bought by accountants instead of people who are expected to keep them running, gently caress people who don't refill paper and submit a ticket instead, and gently caress people who print every single email they receive and act like the printer going offline means they can't use their inbox.
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Jan 7, 2014 01:53
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GreenNight posted:XP Media Center Edition. Good luck. Part of me wants this so I can turn around and say I can't do anything with that and they should have consulted me before making the purchase or taken my quote which was at wholesale price with something around $50 off per machine.
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Jan 7, 2014 02:42
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Caged posted:gently caress printers bought by accountants instead of people who are expected to keep them running, gently caress people who don't refill paper and submit a ticket instead, and gently caress people who print every single email they receive and act like the printer going offline means they can't use their inbox. I got a job assigned the other day to go setup scanning on a Canon imageRunner, everything just goes to a dumping folder on the fileserver, but even that is usually a loving nightmare because ~printers~ Nope, this princely piece of Japanese hardware let me browse to the folder I wanted, then asked in plain English for the username and password, then confirmed they worked before adding the destination to the address book. I swear to god I felt an angelic hand on my shoulder when I ran the test document through.
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Jan 7, 2014 05:36
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So not necessarily work-related but an incident that happened to a co-worker who was trying to get his wife's laptop repaired under warranty through Dell. He bought the laptop a couple years back and bought an extended warranty to cover accidental damage and such. Recently the laptop's been acting up, the display sometimes turns off and back on randomly, weird flickering/lines, goes to sleep and won't wake up. He's done BIOS updates, wiped and reloaded drivers for the chipset and graphics, cleaned it out to make sure it wasn't overheating, even backed up all the data and did a full, fresh install of Windows 7. Still had the problem, and after researching, found out it could either be the LCD or graphics chipset causing it. He called Dell, asked about the warranty and setting up a time to send it in...and they told him it wasn't under warranty. He argued back and forth about buying the extended warranty, and found out Dell's extended accidental is separate from their standard warranty. So even though he shelled out a couple hundred dollars extra, he's still got the accidental damage coverage, but the standard warranty expired on it, which makes absolutely no sense. He got so frustrated that he finally said "OK, so I can basically drop this off my 2nd story apartment balcony, run it over with my car, or something stupid like that and you'll replace it free of charge under the accidental warranty...but you're going to charge me if I send it in as-is to get fixed?" The tech he talked to confirmed that yes, he could do that, but it wasn't advisable. Not sure what route he's taking, I think he may end up basically trashing it, getting it replaced under accidental warranty, then selling the replacement to pay for a new (non-Dell) laptop. Dell is literally a bunch of retarded fuckwits if that's how they operate.
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Jan 7, 2014 06:30
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I know what route I'd take. I know what route everyone would take.
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Jan 7, 2014 07:10
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mllaneza posted:I know what route I'd take. I know what route everyone would take. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsBB93IqJkE
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Jan 7, 2014 07:39
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I used to love Dell, and my dealings with their tech support left me essentially in awe. Polite, helpful, not full of poo poo, willing to just send you replacement parts, and loving fast doing it. This was near 15 years ago. I'm not holding my breath for a miracle, but I do hope that Michael Dell eventually pounds the company back into what it used to be now that he owns it again and it doesn't have to spread its cheeks for stockholders every quarter. Remember when customer retention used to be a good thing for businesses? Those were the days.
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Jan 7, 2014 08:45
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drukqs posted:
Also gently caress whoever made the default power settings on Windows 7 to go to sleep after 30 minutes, even when plugged in to AC, and to have it still count as "idle" even if it's actively installing updates. I lost half a day right there. Inspector_666 posted:I got a job assigned the other day to go setup scanning on a Canon imageRunner, everything just goes to a dumping folder on the fileserver, but even that is usually a loving nightmare because ~printers~
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Jan 7, 2014 09:47
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Ozz81 posted:So not necessarily work-related but an incident that happened to a co-worker who was trying to get his wife's laptop repaired under warranty through Dell. This is the first time I've heard of an extended warranty only covering accidental damage. If anyone could come up with it I guess Dell are those people.
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Jan 7, 2014 11:35
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Knormal posted:I had to do a Windows 7/Office 2010 install from scratch recently, on a Lenovo T60 that's at least six years old, on a DSL that could only manage about 100kbps down. By my count it took six reboots spread over three business days to finally download and install all the patches, and that's with me catching that it needed Office 2010 SP2 and installing it from an MSI. Sadly I didn't catch that my source disk didn't have Win7 SP1 bundled, so it pulled that down somewhere along the line. This morning I finally got it down to where it said it only had one update available, some .NET 4.5 client patch, I let it download and install that, it rebooted and somehow immediately found 86 more updates available. I started Wednesday morning sometime, I was out sick Friday, it finally finished Monday around 4:00. I don't understand why there's still no way to tell Windows to just go, install your updates and reboot, found more update after that reboot? Good, install those, repeat as needed. I know you can, and we do, do that on domain devices, but updating standalone PCs is a nightmare. This is why I keep a dedicated hard disk that is used for nothing but WSUS Offline. http://download.wsusoffline.net/ It's the legitimate successor to AutoPatcher and is a definite time saver.
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Jan 7, 2014 16:36
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Ozz81 posted:So not necessarily work-related but an incident that happened to a co-worker who was trying to get his wife's laptop repaired under warranty through Dell. All you have to do with Dell though, is ask to speak to their supervisor and explain the situation.. Unless of course your buddy bought the consumer-level warranty, which means  Buy the ProSupport warranty or you're an idiot and you'll get jerked around almost every time you call.
coyo7e fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Jan 7, 2014 |
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Jan 7, 2014 19:02
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Install Windows posted:http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2775511 This is a separate hotfix rollup and shouldn't reduce the amount of Windows Updates that you'll install. They do need to release an update rollup though with all the updates through the end of 2013 and publish a new ISO for OEMs to use that has it included. (Or you know, an actual SP2 release but they won't because Microsoft).
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Jan 7, 2014 19:52
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coyo7e posted:One of my coworkers had to say almost exactly the same thing to get Sony to cover a faulty-out-of-the-box HDD on a new $3000 laptop with full warranty options across the board - the first 12 month warranty only covered accidental and not defective equipment for some retarded reason, and they wanted to sell us a new HDD for $300.. Even in the US I'm surprised that's legal. It's illegal as hell in the UK and EU.
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Jan 7, 2014 20:02
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The next generation of Office_space_fax_beatdown.mpg came in...
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Jan 7, 2014 20:39
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Ticket: Lotus Notes calender is missing. What I thought was the problem was that it needed a new replication. Easy enough. The actual problem was she'd accidentally dragged the "Calendar" bookmark into a folder and couldn't find it.
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Jan 7, 2014 20:57
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Great Beer posted:Ticket: Lotus Notes calender is missing.
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Jan 7, 2014 21:12
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Removing lotus notes from the office will put me out of a job. At least half my time is spent fixing problems for that piece of poo poo.
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Jan 7, 2014 21:16
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Holy poo poo. (This may be not work safe in some offices due to scantily clad women, drug use, and profanity)
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Jan 7, 2014 22:37
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It finally happened. Ticket: MFP won't print, scan or copy. Resolution: Pressed the MAIN POWER ON button. 
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Jan 7, 2014 22:44
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Inspector_666 posted:It finally happened. Why not make it black or something to make sure it's visible, the people who submitted the ticket had even pulled the printer out away from the wall looking for a master power switch near the plug.
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Jan 7, 2014 22:53
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The biggest red flag for these things is "can't copy." 90% of the time the machine in question is leased, and if it can't copy it's either out of paper, out of toner, turned off, or the hardware has failed. The first three should be solved by the people whose office it is, and the last one isn't in our scope.
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Jan 7, 2014 22:55
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