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Undying and Unemployed 745 words "You don't understand, boss. I need this job. This is all I've got." I pleaded with him, but I could see in his eyes that it was a lost cause. "Look, I'm sorry kid. You're a good worker, you've always been there for us. But we've got to downsize with the economy the way it is, and well... You're expendable. I hate to do it, but I've got to make the call." That was it. The final nail in the coffin. Though I guess that phrase is useless now, too. My head hung low, and I felt his bony hand pat my shoulder. At least I wasn't escorted out by security. But what damage could I have done, anyway? It's not like I could go postal and kill them all. Jesus, how am I going to explain this to the missus? Or the kids? This is just great, the only thing I'm qualified to do, and I get fired. It all started down there in Atlanta. Hey, it's all well and good to eliminate diseases. I'm fine with never getting sick again, and people still die of natural causes or accidents. Good job, CDC. But then of course the NIH had to get involved. "Hey guys, we've finished mapping the human genome, and we found the code that controls cell replication! We can bring people back from the dead!" Well that's just great. Here I am, relying on people to die just to earn a living, and now you've destroyed the concept of death. Assholes. All of this ran through my head on the drive home. I don't even remember getting here, which would have worried me a little if a car accident was something that could kill me. I pulled into the driveway, and... Oh, no. gently caress, it is Wednesday, isn't it? That's the last thing I need right now, my parents coming over for dinner. Well, time to face the music, I guess. The key turning in the lock sounded like a gun cocking next to my head. I almost wished for one, but I suppose it would be worthless since I can't even off myself anymore. "You're home early. How was work?" Where to begin? "Oh, you know." Convincing. Get it together, D. "Dinner's almost ready, your mom is helping me out and your dad is watching the game in the other room." She gave me a kiss and went back to the kitchen to finish up the roast. At least cows can still die. They're the lucky ones. Dad, of course, was sitting in my chair. If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times, but he refuses to listen. I took the couch instead, and hoped he wouldn't talk. Everyone else got their prayers answered. Mine, not so much. "So, how's this news affecting your industry? Gotta be tough on the death business." The Death Business. His favorite jab at me. "I really wish you wouldn't call it that, dad." "Why not? You put people in the ground." "I'm not even going to have this argument with you. Not today." "Fine." A pause, as he flipped through the channels. "So how was work, anyway? Are they going to cut down your department?" "I GOT FIRED, DAD! ALRIGHT? THEY DON'T NEED ME ANYMORE, SO THEY FIRED ME!" I don't know why I exploded on him like that. It wasn't his fault. "What?! You got fired?" That was mom, screeching from the dining room. Dad was too stunned to talk. He didn't even bother picking his jaw up off the floor. I think he would've had a heart attack, if it was possible. "Yeah, ma, I got fired. They don't really need me anymore, do they? Now that no one can die, it doesn't really make sense to keep paying me." She barreled in from the dining room, and my wife followed. With the kids in tow, of course. "Well, what are you going to do now?" "I don't know, maybe I can find some work harvesting wheat! I've already got the drat scythe!" With that I headed right back out the door. I don't need that poo poo. I could hear my wife calling me. "Grim! Grim come back, honey!" I got in my car, and I'm still just driving. I'm not even sure where I'm going to go, but wherever I end up, at least I won't be a burden on my family. Anyone want to hire a Reaper?
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Jan 8, 2014 03:28
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 00:35 |
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 MORE FLASH RULES If your story is gonna be "punchline (s)he's the grim reaper totes lol" you better not make it suck. E: gender neutrality
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Jan 8, 2014 03:38
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The Saddest Rhino posted:
 I smell a new avatar in my future.
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Jan 8, 2014 03:41
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magnificent7 posted:Are you even using real words, crabs magnet? What was that, babbling twatnugget? You want a dramatized reading of the worst old thunderdome story I can find to drive home the sad truth that it's still better than you'll ever do? Fine.
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Jan 8, 2014 03:46
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In for The Death of Death and Other Stories aND otHER sTORIESRoguelike posted:Fumblemouse Roguelike posted:sebmojo I don't know about the story, but SebMojo does cover the worst of his cybernetic implant scars with a white bikini. Good crits all round - your efforts are appreciated, roguelike. Hope you're not *too* broken inside.
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Jan 8, 2014 04:01
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My new year's resolution was to write more words so starting with this week's prompt I'm going to submit myself to Thunderdome and maybe someday be a better writer
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Jan 8, 2014 04:26
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sebmojo posted:What was that, babbling twatnugget? You want a dramatized reading of the worst old thunderdome story I can find to drive home the sad truth that it's still better than you'll ever do? ps I write for poo poo, that's a given.
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Jan 8, 2014 04:33
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magnificent7 posted:Your mom's got a pretty voice for a dude.
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Jan 8, 2014 05:17
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magnificent7 posted:Your mom's got a pretty voice for a dude. Holy flaming Christ, either gently caress him or brawl him. Either way stop posting unless you're throwing down a story. The Leper Colon V posted:No story here. The Leper Colon V posted:No story still. The Leper Colon V posted:Nope, this is not a story. The Leper Colon V posted:This one ma- nope. The Leper Colon V posted:No stories anywhere. The Leper Colon V posted:6 posts. 0 stories. Mercedes posted:Either way stop posting unless you're throwing down a story. Mercedes fucked around with this message at 05:32 on Jan 8, 2014 |
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Jan 8, 2014 05:19
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Jan 8, 2014 05:36
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Oh BTW guys I totes dug up some dirt on our fave judge FANKY! Turns out that in her roller derby days she went by the moniker of Miss Andry
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Jan 8, 2014 05:46
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I saw one in Austin and there was a chick named Aunt Flo. She had red food coloring on her crotch and inner thighs. P classy imo
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Jan 8, 2014 06:02
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Mercedes posted:Holy flaming Christ, either gently caress him or brawl him. Either way stop posting unless you're throwing down a story. The Leper Colon V posted:Just shut up and challenge him to a Thunderbrawl, broseph. I challenge you to a brawl. 500 words of pure telling, NO showing. Wait. I don't even know who I'm supposed to thunderbrawl or wtf I'm doing. This should end well. magnificent7 fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Jan 8, 2014 |
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Jan 8, 2014 16:33
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magnificent7 posted:Fine. FINE. I will judge because I'm feeling charitable / masochistic. MAGNIFICIENT7 VS SEBMOJO THUNDERBRAWL 2014 Write 500 words of pure telling without showing. Your theme is: Magic Realism*. Extra favours with me if you are able to set your piece in a non traditional White People / English-speaking community. * I do not care how you interpret that. Go figure it out. If either of you drop out I'll make fun of you on the Internet. You have until 11 January 2014 12 noon PST. Go. The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 16:45 on Jan 8, 2014 |
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Jan 8, 2014 16:42
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Magic Realism: Go figure it out. Nobody ever does. 
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Jan 8, 2014 18:30
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Martello posted:Nobody ever does. I like to think that the genre itself has magical realism qualities. Which is why no one can define it.
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Jan 8, 2014 18:41
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Martello posted:Nobody ever does. The various references on it don't seem to agree on what it is, and not one single quoted reference agreed with the one that was pulled out of the arse of whichever judge used it as a prompt.
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Jan 8, 2014 18:44
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Is insect death OK? *Edit* or any animal for that matter. Zack_Gochuck fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Jan 8, 2014 |
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Jan 8, 2014 19:39
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what about farts, can they die
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Jan 8, 2014 20:20
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I'm in
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Jan 8, 2014 20:20
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Chairchucker posted:The various references on it don't seem to agree on what it is, and not one single quoted reference agreed with the one that was pulled out of the arse of whichever judge used it as a prompt. It was ESB and me and we didn't agree either.
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Jan 8, 2014 20:22
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I think magical realism refers to the genre created by the groundbreaking hbo series Throne Games.
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Jan 8, 2014 20:28
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uranus posted:what about farts, can they die Good farts never die. They stay in the fabric forever.
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Jan 8, 2014 20:30
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magnificent7 posted:Fine. FINE. Yea, because people want to read boring stories that make them go cross eyed with the want to kill each other. The Saddest Rhino posted:I will judge because I'm feeling charitable / masochistic. I am terribly sorry my good friend Rhino, but a story about magic realism that's all tell will make people want to claw their eyes out.  NEW PROMPTWe in the Thunderdome do love to be entertained. An Addendum!! Magic Realism is still in, no show is out. Its replacement? I'm glad you asked.  ANIMES I want you guys to give me your best Mary Sue motherfucker set with a Magic Realism backdrop. And I want to be entertained goddamn you. And gently caress you if you had to start over again. I can tell you right now it wasn't going to be a good story without any show.Mercedes fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Jan 8, 2014 |
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Jan 8, 2014 21:51
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Zack_Gochuck posted:Is insect death OK? Sure, if it makes the story better. I'm solely interested in what happens to humans/humanity when they can't die, but animal death is allowable on a as-long-as-it-makes-the-story-not-suck basis. uranus posted:what about farts, can they die All we are is farts in the wind
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Jan 8, 2014 21:52
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for that, merc, you're putting in an entry too. oh, and in on this ridiculous brawl
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Jan 8, 2014 21:55
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sebmojo posted:for that, merc, you're putting in an entry too. You goddamn son of bitch. I have other poo poo I'm working on and I don't have time-  gently caress YEA LETS DO THIS MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!
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Jan 8, 2014 22:07
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The gently caress, you can just addendum a brawl? My addendum: Tell Don't Show.
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Jan 8, 2014 22:38
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I always want to do this and then I procrastinate past the deadline. Sign me up please, then I'll have to write something.
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Jan 8, 2014 22:43
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magnificent7 posted:The gently caress, you can just addendum a brawl? Hello, this is Thunderdome, we hope you enjoy your stay.
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Jan 8, 2014 22:44
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magnificent7 posted:The gently caress, you can just addendum a brawl? gently caress you, your addendum is as stupid as your face.
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Jan 8, 2014 22:44
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magnificent7 posted:The gently caress, you can just addendum a brawl? You can't just addendum a brawl. Mercedes is a motherfuckin Unlockable Bonus Character. Did you not read the OP or what?
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Jan 8, 2014 22:49
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magnificent7 posted:The gently caress, you can just addendum a brawl?  If you want to write in a way that will nearly guarantee you a loss, go right the gently caress ahead. Good stories both show and tell.
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Jan 8, 2014 22:57
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I'm back, and in
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Jan 8, 2014 23:15
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UGH. I wake up to this poo poo? I'm the judge so I'll agree with Merc even though I have no idea what an "anime" genre is, much like everyone has no clue what the "magical realism" genre is. MAGICAL REALISM + ANIME - "TELL DON'T SHOW" - FURTHER NEGOTIATION = YOUR BRAWL PROMPT NOTE: I'm looking really closely to make sure you show not tell everything. The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Jan 9, 2014 |
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Jan 9, 2014 00:40
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this thread right now this motherfucking thread
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Jan 9, 2014 00:56
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also my attorney has advised me to inform you that SHUT UP AND WRITE* *NOT IN THIS THREAD
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Jan 9, 2014 01:04
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I'm in.
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Jan 9, 2014 02:23
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A random crit of one that missed the cut last round.curlingiron posted:Welp. I'll put it here, and maybe in the other thread, too, if that's okay. sebmojo fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Jan 9, 2014 |
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Jan 9, 2014 02:43
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 00:35 |
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All this time Thunderdome was really just the Nite Crew of Creative Convention. Just write.
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Jan 9, 2014 02:51
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