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my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous

Diogines posted:

"Yeap. Thanks for taking care of him!"

I guess I was wrong.

edit:

HI

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Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

HI.

Althair
Jul 26, 2006
words are weapons
H + J

Kira Akashiya
Feb 2, 2013
H and I

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
I was just curious if Azz had a better way of sterilizing us. Welp... guess I will stick with my sterilization by Ishamal vote.

Also, voting:

H, J

Question: Can I see your place? It must look cool. Visiting won't make me miss my wedding, will it?
Question2: Want to come to the wedding? Maybe you can disguise yourself! It will be fun!

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

JT Jag posted:

H
I


I'd like to vote for K but it won't win.
If Azzazel answers in the affirmative here, my answer may change.

There are lots of K votes, you should vote for K too! I know I will probably vote for K too. Not-J is also an option if you're really worried about K losing or splitting the I vote.


Zybourne Clock posted:

"I'm getting married tomorrow so it's a little late for a bachelor party, but do you wanna attend the ceremony?"

Do this


Diogines posted:

"Only one way to find out! Snip snip snip!" He makes a scissor clipping motion with his hands and laughs.

:roflolmao: Az is the best. I loved the cute goat image too.

Basscop posted:

I'ts those goddamn Grigori who are the source of all our problems. I suspected as much.

One thing is clear. We are going to become super powerful and an obvious threat to them. If they band together they can easily crush us and any super babbies we try to make.

I'm making the official agenda for team hunger clear now. We need to divide, conquer and EAT the grigori. We've met them before and all they seem to have in common is being complete fuckwits.

Omniscient my rear end. If they know everything then why is it so hard to make a decision? They all need to get devoured.

I say we play it cool now. No snipping the junk. We just stay celibate. Go along with everything and dance around in their palm for a while. We don't want to bite the hand that feeds.

At least not untill we can eat the whole hand and the body with it too.

I can't believe I'm agreeing with a fish, but there it is. Yeah, I'm on board with making this our life goal, except replace "Grigori" with "baby killers". Doubly so if they really did lock dad up without a really good reason. Which, since they're willing to kill babies, they probably didn't have.

I've voted for this before, but I'll add it in again since we have new vote options: Talk to Jalitha.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

"Creature, I like you, you were nice to my goaty-wofies" - Azzazel pauses to snuggle the baby goat for a moment "but I am not giving you the answers to the really juicy secrets or hints to piece it out. It's not... fair? No... stylish? No... but close. We'll settle on that. Sorry! And you are a clever little bugger when your not busy giving yourself brain damage, no little hints to figure it out, i'm on to you!"

Azzazel skips over all of the following with jokes, topic changes or ridiculous nonsensical answers.

Sogol posted:

I am thinking about what the Goat Haters are trying to do to deal with me. I don't want any secrets of the universe just this. Is our Dad in prison Azz?

maxhush posted:

Are they more powerful than you?
What would they do to you if they found out I was hiding at your place?
Are there any Melachim that still hang around like you?
Did Smattas power my demon beatdown?
Why did I suffer when I used a holy word in the cave?
Who was the statue of?
Were you talking to Ish after the Snarls incident?
What did I turn Snarls into?
What caused the Melachim to leave Ur?

Arkanomen posted:

Have we met our true father?

Zybourne Clock posted:

"Which one of you won in the dreamscape wrestling match?"
"I did! Of course!"

Zybourne Clock posted:

"I'm getting married tomorrow so it's a little late for a bachelor party, but do you wanna attend the ceremony?"

maxhush posted:

Do you want to come to the wedding? Do you want to officiate it?
"I don't like city life, but have a drink for me!"



maxhush posted:

So 'they' is a faction of Melachim?
"He means Melachim, yes."

maxhush posted:

Does he[Smattas] ever go by the name Smis?
"I don't know! Maybe?"

maxhush posted:

Can you take me to the dreamscape to see Uncle Jorah? What is the dreamscape?
"Why would you want to go see that goat hating prude again!"

maxhush posted:

You know, you two didn't actually answer my questions last time I was there, despite our deal...
"I keep VERY good track of my deals Creature, believe you-me! I've not broken any with you."

maxhush posted:

How much noise did the Bareen smackdown make?
"Quite a lot!"

maxhush posted:

Ishamal said you would be the best option to mentor me if something happened to him, what if I wanted you to do it right from the get go?
"Pass. Not my gig. If they are after you I suppose i'd help you hide, but thats it Creature."

maxhush posted:

How would you feel if someone said it would be best for the world if there were no goats?- they'd obviously be wrong but that's pretty much what Ish is asking us to do...
"WHO SAID THAT!?" Azzazel's eyes flair red with anger! One of the goats rubs a head on his leg and calms down "Oh... sorry boy... yes... your right after all."

maxhush posted:

What's the deal with Billy?
"Just keep him out of trouble, alright?"

maxhush posted:

Hey, check out this charm, pretty neat ay?
"Not bad!"

maxhush posted:

Why don't I poop?
"Creature, your gastrointestinal problems are between you and your poop! I am not involved!"

maxhush posted:

Can we sense if goat rock is 'claimed', if so can we sense if the claimant is different from Zepaths or the caves?
You do sense something here, vague ownership. It is different than the caves or Zepath. The sense of ownership here is very weak, the general ownership of Zepath is far stronger. The ownership of Zepath seems to extend about a day and a half out?

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Question to Azz: So if you snip snip me, will you be able to attach my balls later if I ask?
"I am not in the cutting-balls-off-game Creature."

Arkanomen posted:

Was Eyescream sent by the same people who would kill my child?
"That was bad, if rather funny luck! Oh how you ran!" Azzazel throws back his head and laughs.

Arkanomen posted:

Is Indor trustworthy?
"Probably no less so than I am!"

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

H + K
Ask Azz: Why did you send Billy to me? What is he supposed to accomplish? Why is Ishamal so convinced that I or my descendants are going to destroy the world?

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Question: Can I see your place? It must look cool. Visiting won't make me miss my wedding, will it?
"Sure! Come on by!"

Minivote if you actually go.

the_steve posted:

Ask Azz: Why did you send Billy to me? What is he supposed to accomplish?
"I sent him, because, um, reasons! Good one! Probably!"


the_steve posted:

Why is Ishamal so convinced that I or my descendants are going to destroy the world?
"Ask him!"

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

Vavrek posted:

"Do you think it is inevitable that I will be smited, if I stay in this world?"

Repeating my question for the new page.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose

Diogines posted:

"Sure! Come on by!"

Minivote if you actually go.

Yes to visiting Azzazel's house.

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

No to visiting Azz's house. We have poo poo to do!

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

by Fluffdaddy
No to visiting, I have the feeling we would lose track of time.

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

Diogines posted:

"Ask him!"

A: I did, he won't tell me anything. :(

No to visiting.

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Reposting questions to the new page.

Also no to visiting Az's place. We were warned before time might operate oddly there.

Questions:

Do you trust Ishamal?

What are they so worried that I will do?

What are they so worried my children will do?

Do you think they might go so far as to hurt Naomi, were she to bear my child?

Ishamal had a child once, can you tell me of him? I fear whatever story lays there may be coloring his judgement now.

I would like to talk to the being that appears to me in Uncle Jorah's form; can you help me do that?

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

No to visiting Azz's crib mini vote. Time probably passes differently there, or we'd lose track of ourselves somehow.

Ask Azz: What is the name of the being who uses Uncle Jorah's likeness to talk to us when we visit that plane?

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
Yes to visiting. I don't really see what we have to lose at this point.

Tsyni fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Feb 12, 2014

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
Yes to visiting, if he promises that we won't be late

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.
Are there (still) others in the world like me?

Did they get snipped as well?

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

I'm still against visiting, but if we do, can we at least make sure we return with enough time to make it to our wedding?

Pladdicus
Aug 13, 2010

dyzzy posted:

Yes to visiting, if he promises that we won't be late

No Regardless. Azz may not be cruel, but he's not exactly the most reliable

Hey Azz Can you not enter places owned by others? or do you just choose not to. Give his evasion of cities and his likewise hiding from the other...whatever they area.

Guys if we can't talk to Naomi we really should not get married right now. This changes everything and we should take some time and wait. Our potential children could be dangerous and I don't doubt Ish's words but just the same I'm not ready to give up on the idea of children, we need to leave our options open because there's more to this than he's revealing.

Voting K. Go home, pray to El.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh

Pladdicus posted:

No Regardless. Azz may not be cruel, but he's not exactly the most reliable

Maybe? He's never really lied to us or deceived us.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Bits from IRC posted:

<Diog> <birdoprey> Diog: is el perceived in general society as an omnipotent being who is constantly watching everybody?
19:57:16 | <Diog> Yes.
19:57:23 | <LLSix> but I don't want Enki to get pushed around by a bunch of bullies either
19:57:27 | <Diog> <birdoprey> like, how personal of a god is he
19:57:30 | <Diog> But he acts through the Melachim
19:57:42 | <Diog> <birdoprey> i mean, would it be normal to assume that el would deign to meddle with the world so your knife goes a certain way, just so you can better fulfill your personal destiny
19:57:43 | <Diog> Absolutely

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




HJ

El is all powerful. If he intends us to have children like us, no little sterilization from Ishamal will thwart that. We will allow ourselves to be sterilized as an expression of faith in El, so that we know any child born of our wife that is like us, truly came from El and no other.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
H/K. Azz's place not so different than the offered Exile/Prison, but would be great to visit. Maybe not now. I would like to go someplace alone and pray.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

FoxTerrier posted:

Do you trust Ishamal?
"I suppose so."

FoxTerrier posted:

What are they so worried that I will do? What are they so worried my children will do?
"What did Ishamal tell you?"

FoxTerrier posted:

Do you think they might go so far as to hurt Naomi, were she to bear my child?
"They have better options"

FoxTerrier posted:

Ishamal had a child once, can you tell me of him? I fear whatever story lays there may be coloring his judgement now.
"If Ishamal ever had a son, that is for him, not I. I don't poke my nose in the laundry of others. If it exists."

FoxTerrier posted:

I would like to talk to the being that appears to me in Uncle Jorah's form; can you help me do that?
"Why would you want to speak with that goat hating bastard!'

the_steve posted:

Ask Azz: What is the name of the being who uses Uncle Jorah's likeness to talk to us when we visit that plane?[/b]

Speleothing posted:

Are there (still) others in the world like me? Did they get snipped as well?
"Yeah, that is on the list, sorry Creature!"

Pladdicus posted:

Hey Azz Can you not enter places owned by others? or do you just choose not to.
"I go wherever I drat well please!"

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Well hey. Changing my vote to leave it to the knife.

Christina Arugula
Aug 10, 2004
How do you like your lawn? Broiled or charred?
Ramrod XTreme
H+I because limiting our power this early in our lives is stupid and so if living off the fears of other people who won't tell us anything. If bad poo poo happens to our family we should beat the hell out of it. We keep being warned that bad stuff MAY happen or COULD happen, this is because everyone is terrified of us and the power our line would represent. We should take this train to the end of the line, not soften things up.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Azzazel, what was up with Bareen?

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

sit down, toss our knife in the air while praying to El. If the knife points towards our balls, let Ishamal do his thing.

Fake edit: not a real vote

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

SerSpook posted:

Azzazel, what was up with Bareen?

"Daisies? Faint grease stains?"

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Ask Ishamal if we can talk to our mother about this decision.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Azz's defense is great. Everyone thanks he is crazy. He only claims things that others are not likely to want and then only very lightly. He cant be perceived by his family as a real threat and is valuing freedom over power and other such things. Then he entertains himself. Life with him would probably eventually turn into some madcap mayhem. He could probably be enrolled in pranking the goat haters and such.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

I don't see any good options, and an awful lot of bad ones are on offer today. In that spirit I vote


3 this buys us time so we can put up a better fight later

4

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

No on the minivote.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

I don't want to let this languish as we only have a few hours left:

Theglavwen posted:

I suppose this is more interesting than what I was expecting: a bunch of goons arguing over what our wedding vows should be.

Team :spergin:, Do your thing and write us some badass vows!

Walrusmaster
Sep 21, 2009
H and J. Azz has confirmed that having kids will only lead to heartbreak. Let's adopt or do Ishmael's "fake" pregnancy instead. Even if we don't care about our own feelings, it's not fair to Naomi to give her kids that we know are doomed.

Rahul
Dec 10, 2004

So if I go ahead and let Ishamel do the snip snip - is there a chance I'll eventually grow strong enough to undo it?

Also, if I go ahead and get snipped, and try not to rock the boat too much, will 'they' leave me the hell alone?

Rahul fucked around with this message at 03:14 on Feb 12, 2014

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy

SerSpook posted:

El is all powerful. If he intends us to have children like us, no little sterilization from Ishamal will thwart that. We will allow ourselves to be sterilized as an expression of faith in El, so that we know any child born of our wife that is like us, truly came from El and no other.

:negative:

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DCBomB
Sep 14, 2008

Now for something relevant!

I'm cooking up the survey data on peoples' opinions of Tudiya, Ishamal, Azzazel, Naomi, Jalitha, and Snarls. Again, this was from a couple weeks ago.



And these are their average scores:

Tudiya
4.33898305084746

Ishamal
4.66101694915254

Azzazel
4.77586206896552

Naomi
3.86440677966102

Jalitha
3.79661016949153

Snarls Barkley
4.94827586206896

Snarls, in addition to getting the highest average, he also had the smallest average deviation; 0.098097502972652 Tiny! He only had three fours and the rest were fives!
I haven't looked at all the character data yet but I'd bet the top three here are the top three overall, as well.

DCBomB fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Feb 12, 2014

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