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Well, it's only been about 9 months or so, and we've basically JUST finished(? questionably...) childhood/adolescence.
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Feb 17, 2014 15:07
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F. We gotta go out for more time. After a month you can have your manhood. If Ish doesn't steal it first.
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Feb 17, 2014 15:35
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Tomn posted:We may not have chosen to become a divinity, but we're pretty much going to be the next best thing to God on Urth. I'm starting to think that he's not human, it's not very likely he would be dead, so he must have some other reason to be missing.
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Feb 17, 2014 16:18
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D + talk to their dads first
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Feb 17, 2014 17:16
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Algid posted:We were also alone, no immediate family, and no Ishmael. I would bet that he either got tired of watching our children destroy the world and climbed Mount Har, one of our children killed him, or we killed him.
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Feb 17, 2014 17:26
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Slaan posted:Look on the first page. We've got "a good head for numbers." Slaan posted:
You had me worried for a second.
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Feb 17, 2014 18:56
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Slaan posted:Look on the first page. We've got "a good head for numbers." This, pretty much.
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Feb 17, 2014 20:17
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Tomn posted:...you know, I think we're working at an extremely fundamental disconnect here. Do you think literally all coercion, under any circumstances, is completely unacceptable and makes the coercer fundamentally and irrevocably an rear end in a top hat you are obligated to dislike? That it is completely impossible for someone forcing you to do something to be friendly or likeable? Because if that's the case, let me present a couple of scenarios here. No. But while I'm sure there are some people who can like those who coerce them, I'm not one of those people. I agreed with Ishamal's action and voted to limit our interaction with the world so as not to destroy it, but still don't see that Ishamal is our friend. Sorry, Ishamal and I will probably never be BFFs. If you genuinely can't understand why a person would have doubts or dislike someone that sees them as expendable, or who thinks it's ok to coerce them, there's really nothing else to say about that.  I'm not telling you what to think or who to like. However, what I am NOT arguing is that we should all vote for self-interest, and that's why I'm doing this. I want to make it clear that characterizing things that way seems awfully intellectually dishonest. But since you seemed to be making that argument, and it didn't seem entirely internet bravado, I figured I'd single you out. All else aside, I hope you can at least see these, whether or not you agree with them: - "We were coerced." - My view: yes. I think I've repeatedly explained why I believe it to be the case. (And I didn't get to vote on the whole "sterilization alternative vote". That one closed before I got a chance to do it. Just saying.) - "Coercing us was justified." - My view: Yes. There was enough danger. But that said, I also believe they are culpable for any danger that was going to take place, and that it isn't entirely fair to place the blame on us. See below. - "The "decision" was based on our choices." - My view: No. There's no way we could possibly know our children had the potential to break the world. And if our use of our powers are in question, it's like a parent giving a dangerous toy to a child. If these beings are omnipotent, they literally should have known better. It's irresponsible to give a weapon to a toddler, and you'd think that someone who is omnipotent would know that. And if they're not omnipotent, telling us that "this is absolutely going to happen" is a lie. Enough is "unknown", so questioning should not be ruled out. And people aren't just being "rebels" or "doing what society tells us". - "We should not question the Melachim." -My view: Nope. Can't help questioning. It's in our nature. It's going to happen anyway. - "We should trust the Melachim." - My view: No, not really. They're unarguably more powerful than us. But I don't believe they're omnipotent, or that they know everything. There's also a lot we don't know. If their duty conflicts with our "friendship", they will pick their duty. I can trust that they would do their duty, but I can't trust them on a personal level. They're more powerful, yes, but might doesn't make right, and I don't automatically trust someone who can kick my rear end. - "We should see the Melachim as our friends." - My view: No. They're not friends. I can trust that they would do their duty, but I can't trust them on a personal level. Whether our intentions are good or not, if their duty conflicts with our "friendship", they will pick their duty. That they're powerful enough to destroy everything we hold dear makes a friendship questionable. quote:With regards to your example of the general, you're assuming that I act in a perfectly self-interested manner. No? I'm just trying to see if you're genuinely making the equivalent argument to "A vote for quote:With regards to "hating us for what we are", let me point out that Smythos himself never said anything more than "I am telling you that if you have kids you will end the world. Do not presume to debate me on this because I know a hell of a lot more than you. Now go get snipped." It was Ishamal who got pissed off that even after receiving a direct message from the gods, a very loud voting bloc was still clamoring stark defiance against the will of the Melachim. And you'll notice that when the actual votes were tallied, both Ishamal and presumably the Melachim were perfectly content with a clear majority of votes and did not choose to smite or revile us for a vocal minority, so clearly they're willing to allow and accept a certain level of doubt instead of demanding perfect lockstep unison amongst the voters, making that leg of your argument pretty much moot. Nope, but someone else addressed this. Ishamal decided to mindread us and chastise us for doubting, even if we supposedly took a neutral action. As for voting: E. No.
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Feb 17, 2014 20:51
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Anyone want to do a count?
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Feb 17, 2014 22:52
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Eh, sure, I can. Expect a count shortly.
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Feb 17, 2014 23:05
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 votes properly!Never mind, late to the draw.
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Feb 17, 2014 23:05
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FoxTerrier posted:Eh, sure, I can. Sorry Fox, but I just remembered I never changed my F to a D. Same sentiment, just, yeah, Jassiel deserves something. So ... if you catch this ... it's a D now. Thanks.
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Feb 17, 2014 23:08
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This one had too many write in to put on the spreadsheet. Hopefully this is easy enough to navigate. A. Yes, I will do it. I go to El's temple now and do it. paragon1 FoxTerrier Watuhboy Big Bug Hug B. Yes, but only for Uriah and Jassiel, since they did not do it the "fake" way already. C. Yes for Uriah and Jassiel now, the rest, when they get a good offering on your next trip. D. Yes, but only for Jassiel. His wounds make an animal bought with his spoils Worthy. I will do it for the rest on another trip, if they get a good offering. Coq au Nandos (voted D+F) Jet Jag Angela Christine the_steve (voted D+F) dyzzy OrangeOrbit Lanky Coconut Tree Sogol (vote D+ Plan Tomn) Rahul HiHo ChiRho (+ E) Mr. Wednesday (+ E as per HiHo) Dammerung (voted D+F) TaskManager + tell Jassiel we will declare him a man but he must prepare an offering for El at the Temple Theglavwen Imperialist Dog LLSix + Talk to their Dads first Grabpot Thundergust E. No Gantolandon A Darker Porpoise Nolaterif F. No, but I tell them I will be glad to for them after our next trip, when they get something worth while to place on the altar. Coq au Nandos (voted D+F) the_steve (voted D+F) Grognan Deadly Ham Sandwich (voted F+ G) Dammerung (voted D+F) Outrail G There Bias Two: No, but not because I believe your actions are not worthy of a man. A Man's Trial is solely between himself and El, and I would like to see you find your own glory in the wilderness. jazzyhattrick: Do not refuse them, but advise against forgoing the trial Jewcoon: PLAN JAZZYHATTRICK Zybourne Clock: "I will happily declare you all men, if that is what you ask of me. You've more than earned that right by my standard. But if you want glory - real glory- that will last the ages, I suggest you also do the rite the old way. The real surprise lays just two weeks south of Zepath". Numeron: Use all of the silver you earned to buy a sacrifice. Bring your fathers to the temple. I will declare you in your fathers stead with their approval. Deadly Ham Sandwich: ""You have an entire month. There is no rush. I am sure you can get more worthy offerings in that time." + Also voting for Jassei, our beat up friend, getting declared a man. His trial is over" Tsyni: BLOOD FOR THE FISH GOD Slaan: BLOOD FOR THE FISH GOD Deadmeat5150: BLOOD FOR THE FISH GOD HiHo ChiRho: E: For Uriah, I would tell him that we need to find something for him to sacrifice that would really get on his brother's nerves, and we or his father would gladly declare him. Mr. Wednesday: PLAN HIHO CHIRHO Tomn: Tell them we would be glad to Declare for them and prove witness to their deeds and offerings (alone or not, they DID face down a loving demon), but the offering is only part of the trial - they must also survive on their own, as per the trial. Only once they have gone through the month in the wild and so heard the voice of El within their secret hearts can they be Declared. And if they should happen to pick up an offering along the way while in the wild, so much the better - together with the glories and trophies they pick up on our hunts, truly shall they be known to be worthy before El Vavrek: PLAN TOMN ShotgunWillie: PLAN TOMN Sogol: PLAN TOMN (Also voted + D ) ---- Totals: A: 4 B: 0 C: 0 D: 17 E: 3 F: 6 G: 15 write ins. 4 write ins for Plan Tomn: Tell them we would be glad to Declare for them and prove witness to their deeds and offerings (alone or not, they DID face down a loving demon), but the offering is only part of the trial - they must also survive on their own, as per the trial. Only once they have gone through the month in the wild and so heard the voice of El within their secret hearts can they be Declared. And if they should happen to pick up an offering along the way while in the wild, so much the better - together with the glories and trophies they pick up on our hunts, truly shall they be known to be worthy before El 3 votes for HUNGER 2 votes for Plan HiHo AKA Plan Help Uriah Piss Off Lullys 5 votes variations for 'get thee to the wilds for a month. 1 vote use your silver to get offerings Results: D looks like the clear winner, with a substantial minority (9 of the write ins, I believe?) expressing desires for the lads to be encouraged to go into the wilds for a month as per the old ways. There were a ton of  in many of these votes, so please let me know if anyone feels I've misrepresented their vote.
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Feb 17, 2014 23:34
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Voting E.
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Feb 18, 2014 01:02
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E
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Feb 18, 2014 01:47
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You tell Ithma and the others that while they fought bravley, more is needed to complete the Trial. Bravery is not enough, they need an offering worthy of El. But you will do as they ask and declare them men before the altar in El's temple when more time has passed and they have a more worthy offering. You ask them to help you fetch Jassiel, explaining that his suffering makes his offering more worthy. With help of the rest of your balls you buy a cow with Jassiel's silver and carry him upon his bed to El's temple.  Jassiel, only fifteen, is doing well considering that the blow would have killed any lesser man. He is expected to recover within a few months. His left arm and left leg are in a splint. Many of his relatives gather in the temple to watch, his father, Obel, one of Zepath's Mighty men, among them. Obel as you recall, helped to train your band. Zebanetha stands beside the altar and looks to Jassiel and says "What have you brought for El's glory and by how did you come upon it?" Jassiel says "A cow" with a small wince of pain "bought with silver paid for with pain and blood, taken from the clutches of a demon."  Jobe helps to guide the cow atop the altar and then cuts it's throat. The flesh and blood burns and Zebantha declares "El accepts the offering" though nothing fantastical occurs and the flames appear normal. You look to those assembled and declare "I am Enkidel, son of Tudiya. By the light of El and the light of his deeds, I declare this child to be a MAN!" Jassiel's relatives give a cheer, as do your Balls. Obel speaks to you briefly when the ceremony is done and says "You brought my son back to me and my grandson as well Enkitzstat, don't imagine I'll forget that." In the evening there is a feast in the gardens of your home. Many within the city attend. Many also give you lewd advice on what to do with Naomi when the feast is ended. Spirits are high and good cheer evident all about. During the feast, as is traditional, a number of presents are given to you by those in your life. Aaron gives you a beautiful bronze knife with gems in the hilt. It looks like it has been reforged, you ask him and he says "Indeed it has, it had to be, after it took off the scorpions leg." Ah... so it is that knife. You thank him warmly. Agamemnon gives you a dozen goats and a slave to tend them. A generous present. Chait gives you a bed, a cow and a young bull. Obel gives you eight sheep, a ram and a slave to tend them. Ishamal gives you a number of household implements, furniture and twelve pounds of silver. Falel gives you a quiver of fine arrows. Lefkandi gives you... wait for it... pots. Your friend, the old beggar Ephat attends and plays beautiful flute music at the feast as his gift. He has bathed recently and his music is well received. Paebel, as well as two of your Balls, Abiezer, Elika pull you aside for a moment tell you that they have used the silver from their pay to buy a cow. They went beyond the city walls and sacrificed it to their favorite Melachim, that he bless you and Naomi with many years of happiness and many sons. Their favorite Melachim, of course, as you know is... Smattas. You quietly thank them for the gesture. None of the three of are rich, this is a substantial amount of wealth to give up. Jobe, your priest-Ball brought you a small statue of the Ophanim Marnal to decorate your home and for good luck. A traditional gift for newly weds, since Marnal is associated with among other things, child birth. Uriah gave you a dozen sheep and words of apology that his brother Lullaya could not attend on account of "him being a borish jackass!" Several of your Balls laughed at that. Jassiel rests at home but sent his regards and a dozen fine and expensive jugs of wine, the party goers are currently enjoying six of them. Ithma fave you a fine spear. Gareb gave you a large clay tablet in which he depicts a beautifully rendered image of you slaying the Zviv. Many drinks are drunk, many songs sung and a good time had by all. You have been to many feasts before and they often end in... adult time. For once, you will participate. As is traditional, the marriage occurs at the end of the feast. Zebanetha is on hand. An altar has been erected outside and a sheep burns upon it. Vows are exchanged. Between you and Tudiya of course, you both love Naomi but she is a woman and has no say. Zebanetha reads the term of the contract out loud to the spectators then asks you "Do you, Enkidel, son of Tudiya, of the line of Zepa by pledge, take this woman to be your wife, to provide for her as long as she shall live?" You say "I do" and place your seal-ring into the clay contract. Zebanetha turns to Tudiya and says "Tudiya, King of Zepath, do you give your daughter to this man, swear her virtue to be unbroken and accept his pledge to your line?" "I do" says Tudiya and places his seal-ring into the clay contract. Zebanetha raises his hands in the air and says "Then in the light of El and with all here to be witness I declare them to be husband and wife!" The many party goers cheer. Chait yells out "To bed with them!" Finally mates? You think to Snarls, you shall indeed. Finally! Grows the pack! Many cubs! The male party goers grab you and carry you off and the female party goers, grab Naomi and carry her. They carry you through the streets late at night, each giving you rather course suggestions on how to deal with Naomi this eve. You arrive at Tudiya's present to you, a house at the edge of the good part of town.  It may not be a palace but it is all yours and large enough for you, Naomi, another free person or two and several slaves. By the time you are thrown into your bed both you and Naomi are bare. The party goers retreat. Naomi smiles to you and says "Are you ready, my Mighty Man?" Whoever your father is, you are clearly well blooded in one part of your anatomy at this moment, you grin and give her an answer without words. And now for something completely different which has NOTHING to do with Enkidel or anything going on in Ur. (Probably)   Eternity As you are slowly discovering Lasts a really Really Really (Really) (Reaaaally) Really Really, I am not even kidding Long time Like one time you missed breakfast AND lunch and busted your hump all day at work That is not even peanuts To the smallest Fraction of a fraction Of a teeny tiny little bit Of eternity Plenty of time to scream in agony for death Plead Beg Threaten Grovel Bargain Go insane Go sane Go insane and sane in a sequence A hundred million times And not even scratch the surface You hear nothing but the faint rushing of air past your body as you fall You see only eternal darkness You have not eaten in... forever and are very, very, very hungry At the moment you are probably insane again But just sane enough to know it You style yourself the Descendant One. The Eternal Voidfaller. You are... SOJENUS The Falling One And you are falling through a bottomless abyss Forever (You are probably a moron) (This is totally your fault) (And was easily preventable!) (All you had to do was NOT jump off of Denziroh's platform into a bottomless abyss) (Denziroh had been at that gig for tens of thousands of years and didnt think he had to put a fence up because NO ONE could possibly be stupid enough to jump off) (Till you that is) (Just goes to show even if you are an immortal mage of shocking power who transcended the bonds of mortality, you can still be surprised on rare occasion) (You sure showed him!) But now you are immortal enough to fall forever Yet still feel hunger Kind of sucks, huh? Yup Or not After all, you are the Downward Emperor, Master of Eternal Descension, ruler of all you survey Blackness and void, in case you forgot Once a really long time ago you saw a group of four giant man shaped crocodiles wearing golden armor fly past while shooting laser sticks at an army of demons they were chasing but you were probably hallucinating that Not much else to do today, anyway What is on the agenda for today, your majesty? A. Fall. B. Fall. C. Fall D. Fall. E. Fall while screaming. F. Scream while falling. G. Fall stylishly. H. Fall with grace. I. Fall upside down for a change. J. Cry. K. Sob. L. Issue a royal edict regulating the sale of beet juice within your kingdom. K. Scream for help. L. Scream for help while falling. M. Try to flap your arms to fall slower. N. Try to fall faster. O. Futilly try to commit suicide again. P. Call for help. To who? Possible candidates include Denziroh, Sebek, Vorlor, Kadai, Nem Teshet, Narod, the One God, Horus, Ra or anyone else you knew of in Akkad. Fill in. Also, include falling. Q. Declare a royal edict. Falling is FORBIDDEN! R. Declare a royal edict. Falling is MANDATORY! S. Fall. T. Fall. U. Jerk it. You can't. This body cannot experience sexual arousal. So, yeah, fall. W. Fall. X. Fall. Y. Fall Z. Something else. Fill in. Must include falling. Diogines fucked around with this message at 14:17 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 02:13
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Z: Fall while holding the gate (Did I do it right?  )
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Feb 18, 2014 02:20
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Z: Break the chains
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Feb 18, 2014 02:24
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Z: Continue to protect the chain from the two Team Flea traitors.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:24
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G Fall with Style. Obviously. 
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Feb 18, 2014 02:27
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 G + Z Perfect the art of stylish falling. Become the best at falling that has ever existed or ever will exist, or even could possibly exist. Become better at falling than anything that couldn't exist too, for good measure. Transcend all known forms of falling and truly become One with falling. Fall so perfectly and beautifully that the eternal void becomes a paradise. Kyyp fucked around with this message at 02:30 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 02:28
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None of you guys is Sojenus.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:29
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P Call out for Satan and Beelz
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Feb 18, 2014 02:29
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Diogines posted:Paebel, as well as two of your Balls, Abiezer, Elika pull you aside for a moment tell you that they have used the silver from their pay to buy a cow. They went beyond the city walls and sacrificed it to their favorite Melachim, that he bless you and Naomi with many years of happiness and many sons. Their favorite Melachim, of course, as you know is... Smattas. You quietly thank them for the gesture. None of the three of are rich, this is a substantial amount of wealth to give up. Awwwwwwwkward Ooh! I wasn't around for MadGod! I can be a part of it now! R - Falling is mandatory! Edit: Azz didn't send a gift. 
Task Manager fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 02:30
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Z. ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
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Feb 18, 2014 02:31
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Z - Accept your fate Sojenus. Become the void. Become the hunger. BECOME ASHERAHDiogines posted:Paebel, as well as two of your Balls, Abiezer, Elika pull you aside for a moment tell you that they have used the silver from their pay to buy a cow. They went beyond the city walls and sacrificed it to their favorite Melachim, that he bless you and Naomi with many years of happiness and many sons. Their favorite Melachim, of course, as you know is... Smattas. Ahahahahaha
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Feb 18, 2014 02:34
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Z. Fall up.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:36
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G + Z: Fall in a more hardboiled manner.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:36
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my dad posted:Z - Accept your fate Sojenus. Become the void. Become the hunger. BECOME ASHERAH Voting this. also HOLD THE GATE
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Feb 18, 2014 02:37
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Diogines posted:Once a really long time ago you saw a group of four giant man shaped crocodiles wearing golden armor fly past while shooting laser sticks at an army of demons they were chasing but you were probably hallucinating that Team Herodile gets a cameo  A RICH WHITE MAN posted:Z. ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! voting this
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Feb 18, 2014 02:38
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voting A through Z Z - contemplate the reason as to why your falling and constantly increasing acceleration has not caused you to burn up into nothingness. Possibly my favorite update.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:38
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Z. Imagine a gate and then 
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Feb 18, 2014 02:38
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G + I Fall stylishly, upside down.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:38
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Task Manager posted:Edit: Azz didn't send a gift. His gift is probably inside one of the goats.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:40
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Wait, does this mean...no, it can't be. L, this is the sort of hard hitting policy you were elected to handle!
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Feb 18, 2014 02:41
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Speleothing posted:G + I This, plus Z below. the_steve posted:contemplate the reason as to why your falling and constantly increasing acceleration has not caused you to burn up into nothingness. Z. Construct elaborate plans for a free energy machine that operates by venting this infinite volume of atmosphere into vacuum via a turbine
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Feb 18, 2014 02:44
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Diogines posted:U. Jerk it. You can't. This body cannot experience sexual arousal. So, yeah, fall. Just because you can't get aroused, doesn't mean you can't fumble around awkwardly. I mean, no one is there to watch, so who cares?
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Feb 18, 2014 02:49
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Do a flip.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:51
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Canuck-Errant posted:None of you guys is Sojenus. Embrace nothingness. Embrace the void. Sojenus posted:Do a flip. WELP
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Feb 18, 2014 02:55
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Sojenus posted:Do a flip. Welp, close the polls, the man has spoken.
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Feb 18, 2014 02:56
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