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Inspector_666 posted:Why the hell does he want to keep the dead batteries? It's obviously too expensive to ship them since they are heavy. Caged posted:I worked for a guy like your boss a while back, tried to do everything on the cheap, didn't have a grip on how the real world worked etc. Fortunately for me I had the option of just letting him get on with it. Might be the same guy. If you suggest any service he says "How do we know they won't go out of business!?" He just bought a Bluray burner to archive stuff on. I wasn't even going to begin to explain why that's a stupid idea. Of course he talked about what one he was going to buy and about the different level of Bluray discs you can buy, and how the PS3 is a great BR player, and how he got it for $80 on TigerDirect.
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Mar 5, 2014 23:40
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Am I insane for occasionally wanting a day where I go in, work my tickets, and go home? I'm so burned out on all the special projects and extra crap I keep being handed. I think I've been handed a new project every day this week.
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Mar 6, 2014 00:06
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No, it's either one extreme or the other. Either we're bored by the monotony of just coming in and doing predictable stuff and going home and desperately wanting some special projects, or we're buried in horrible poo poo and crying for some peaceful, forgettable days.
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Mar 6, 2014 00:09
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Seriously, It is my own fault too. A few months ago I was bored and burnt out and was talking to my boss with the intention of moving off the HelpDesk and starting to do some more advanced work. Instead I get the work, no money, and no title.
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Mar 6, 2014 00:23
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Bob Morales posted:Time-wasting request of the day from my boss: Most junkyards around here take ewaste and pay decently for it. You should see if any around you do the same and then start funneling the stuff out for your alcohol fund.
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Mar 6, 2014 02:17
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Bob Morales posted:No, his idea is we keep the batteries but we sell the sleds to some rich guy who buys sleds from people for big bucks, and then puts his own refurbished batteries in there or some poo poo and sells them to get richer. You should tell him that it sounds like a pretty awesome business plan, and maybe he should start doing it himself.
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Mar 6, 2014 03:15
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gently caress why did I think I could handle a database project in access. Why are permissions so god drat hard to set in access 2010, and why did i accidentally code something in VBA that causes 2007 users not to use it AHHHHHHHH.
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Mar 6, 2014 03:43
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Veskit posted:database project in access. There's your problem: http://howfuckedismydatabase.com/access/
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Mar 6, 2014 04:02
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Veskit posted:database project in access Found your problem there hoss. If it's not the company lost and found, access is probably not the right tool.
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Mar 6, 2014 05:43
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Volmarias posted:Found your problem there hoss. There are many more instances with Access is the wrong tool. I'm really tempted to ban it in my office, after finally burning out some old equipment tracking application that someone wrote literally a decade ago.
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Mar 6, 2014 05:50
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Access permissions are easy: every time a user tries to open Access, break all of their fingers. Eventually, none of your users will be able to double-click the Access icon and then your database will be working properly. (Also, you will be in prison, which is a far better situation than being the "DBA" of an Access database.)
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Mar 6, 2014 05:53
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ratbert90 posted:Right now I have 7 alligator clips, a usb hub, three usb ports, and 3 channels on a power supply being used. See this poo poo? I muxed TX and RX together. 
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Mar 6, 2014 05:55
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Not really pissing me off but maybe the person I'm doing the work for. I'm actually amused. Recovering some photos a friend accidentally deleted about a year ago (never going to be fun) of his newborn and I manage to find the correct files NAME_ACTIVITY.jpg so hurrah! Most are corrupt as I would imagine but some of them that I manage to recover without too much corruption are instead lesbian pornography. I can't help but laugh.
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Mar 6, 2014 08:03
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Veskit posted:gently caress why did I think I could handle a database project in access. Why are permissions so god drat hard to set in access 2010, and why did i accidentally code something in VBA that causes 2007 users not to use it AHHHHHHHH. Permissions are hard so fuckwits would stop using it. Not you, though. You didn't know any better. It would of been infidelity better to write your project in visual studio lightswitch; The non-access quick LOB maker. http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/vstudio/ff796201.aspx Why its now 499.99 instead of the hundo bucks it used to be I don't know.
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Mar 6, 2014 08:41
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incoherent posted:Permissions are hard so fuckwits would stop using it. Not you, though. You didn't know any better. It would of been infidelity better to write your project in visual studio lightswitch; The non-access quick LOB maker. Hey man, Access is pretty awful for a lot of things, but cheating on your spouse is probably going to cause you a lot more immediate personal pain. Well. Unless you have to deal with concurrency. It's funny, the DBA I used to work with would twitch whenever anyone used the phrase "Access Database," and pretend to sperg out and correct them. "Access is not a database."
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Mar 6, 2014 08:55
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Time for some More poo poo that pisses you off: Air Force edition If any of you guys work at a DoD organization I'm sure you're familiar with their policy on usage of USB devices. If you're not: don't loving plug USB devices into an Air Force-owned machine unless it's also government-owned and on their approved list of devices. If you do, it'll detect said device and create a whole incident where your user account gets disabled and you get to be bitched at, retake training on not plugging in USB devices, and then you have to go and ask one of the colonels around here to please give your dumb rear end approval to get your computer access back. Everybody has to go through training on this when you start working here and again every year after and you have to sign an agreement saying you won't do it. Also you get a popup every single day at login reminding you. And somehow people keep doing it. My organization in particular has had a higher-than-average number of violations in the past year or so, and every time the reason is that they forgot or it was an "accident." The colonel in charge has decided that the solution to this problem is to buy 20,000 little USB caps to plug up all of the unused USB ports on all of our machines. We have 12 techs supporting 1600 users, about twice that many machines, spread across 30 buildings on the base, most of which are in secured lab environments to make it even more of a pain in the rear end. So we went out and stuck USB caps in all of the front USB ports on all of our machines as directed, leaving one open if they have an external hard drive attached. Then we had a few more incidents. And now they're telling us they want us to go back out, plug up every single port without a keyboard or mouse, including ports on the back, and ports used for external hard drives. And we've been told if a user asks how they are supposed to use their hard drives that we gave them for backup use, we're to instruct them to remove the cap to plug it in, and replace the cap when they're done. So basically 2 months from now everyone will think that the caps are just there to cover the ports when not in use.
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Mar 6, 2014 16:46
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I would love to take USB Device Training. Does it come on an interactive DVD with a test, and printable certificate at the end?
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Mar 6, 2014 16:48
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No DVD, but there is a certificate and it is web-based and interactive, and, no joke, they redid the training last year and it has actual Xbox-style achievement popups if you do well on each part of the training.
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Mar 6, 2014 16:53
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Bob Morales posted:I would love to take USB Device Training. Does it come on an interactive DVD with a test, and printable certificate at the end? I'd pay up to 20 € for a certificate in this field.
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Mar 6, 2014 16:55
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Problem is I don't have any visual studio tools, just this big dumb brick of a program to work with, and I just wanted to make a tiny simple database to track documents and teach my co-workers how to write queries, and design them so we can query big rear end even worse peoplesoft queries and NOTHING is going right. If it's that much of a nightmare I'll hide some tables gently caress it.
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Mar 6, 2014 16:56
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Bob Morales posted:I would love to take USB Device Training. Does it come on an interactive DVD with a test, and printable certificate at the end? No DVD but, yes, you'll have a test and a certificate at the end. Congrats!
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Mar 6, 2014 16:58
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Your certificate will be delivered on an unapproved USB flash drive
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Mar 6, 2014 17:09
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Removal of the unapproved flash drive from the facility will constitute a breach of National Security.
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Mar 6, 2014 17:16
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I'm wondering if you can help me. I'm looking for something that I don't think exists. I want to run OCR (optical character recognition) on a PDF or scanned document (.tiff, .jpeg, etc.) by simply printing to the magical OCR print driver and it will immediately output/display the document post OCR conversion so you can immediately copy and paste out of the document. Basically something that works like a PDF writer print driver but that does OCR at the same time. I don't want to manually run a document through OCR software and then save the output in a Word file before anything can be copied and pasted out of the document. We don't need to save the documents, just grab text out of them and paste the text somewhere else. Thanks
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Mar 6, 2014 17:34
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Fellatio del Toro posted:My organization in particular has had a higher-than-average number of violations in the past year or so, and every time the reason is that they forgot or it was an "accident." The colonel in charge has decided that the solution to this problem is to buy 20,000 little USB caps to plug up all of the unused USB ports on all of our machines. We have 12 techs supporting 1600 users, about twice that many machines, spread across 30 buildings on the base, most of which are in secured lab environments to make it even more of a pain in the rear end. So, instead of some simple GPOs, the solution was 20,000 bits of plastic? How do you guys manage to get planes in the air?
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Mar 6, 2014 17:38
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Shouldn't this be enough?
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Mar 6, 2014 17:42
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UFOTofuTacoCat posted:I'm wondering if you can help me. I'm looking for something that I don't think exists.
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Mar 6, 2014 17:48
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Sounds like something you could automate with pdfocr
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Mar 6, 2014 17:54
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We use Omtool's AccuRoute and have it set up so you can email your document as an attachment to an address and it will queue it to be OCR'd and sent back to you in whatever format you want, depending on which address you sent it to.
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Mar 6, 2014 17:54
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Fellatio del Toro posted:Shouldn't this be enough? The small trophy being inside a larger, invisible trophy is a nice touch. spog posted:So, instead of some simple GPOs, the solution was 20,000 bits of plastic? We plug all our problems with diamond-dense wads of money.
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Mar 6, 2014 18:27
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Che Delilas posted:
Fixed. Edit: Veskit posted:Problem is I don't have any visual studio tools, just this big dumb brick of a program to work with, and I just wanted to make a tiny simple database to track documents and teach my co-workers how to write queries, and design them so we can query big rear end even worse peoplesoft queries and NOTHING is going right. The two bolded bits are pretty much the standard before and after of Access. You're either new to IT or have somehow never heard of Access. The only time an Access database is even remotely acceptable is: A) you're the only one using it AND B) it has nothing to do with the actual running of the company in ANY WAY. If you break either of these precepts, you should not be allowed to computer. Access is one of the worst piles of poo poo to ever be released and it's specifically because the program itself is actually pretty simple to use and setup a "database" in, so every clever accountant or HR person or receptionist figures out they can create a database of something or other critical to the company's functioning, and oh joy look at that you can have OTHER people log in too! Haha, and that crazy IT monkey said we'd have to hire some "seek well" guy or something to do this - what an idiot! This is easy as pie, why do we even pay the IT guy. And then because Access uses the lovely JET database engine (it's HILARIOUS Microsoft because it's called JET and it's an ENGINE oh man top marks there old chum!), everything will crash and burn horribly and with luck so will the company that hired the moron who used Access along with the IT guy who permitted it. It's exactly like the song about the frog on the log at the bottom of the sea. Which is also where copies of Access should be thrown. In case it wasn't clear, DON'T DATE ROBOTS. I MEAN ACCESS. I MEANT ACCESS YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT. poo poo CAPSLOCK GOT STUCK SyNack Sassimov fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Mar 6, 2014 |
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Mar 6, 2014 19:17
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Here's how Access works. Some guy makes a little database that makes some reports and makes his job a hundred times easier. Then another guy says "Hey can I access that?", then another guy asks him and another guy asks him. Then 4 years later you're looking at 6 months and a $2 million quote from an ERP provider to replace that Access database.
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Mar 6, 2014 19:46
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It doesn't need replacing. It works fine, it just crashes and corrupts itself a lot, and that's your fault Mr IT.
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Mar 6, 2014 20:01
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Thanks for the OCR recommendations, I think I've found something that will work what we are trying to do: ABBYY Screen Shot Reader. You can take can select an area of text in an image or whatever and the software will OCR it and copy it to the clipboard. I didn't know things like that existed.Che Delilas posted:Why Googling is hard. Thanks for this, sometimes we gloss over what is a learned skill. Nice reminder.
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Mar 6, 2014 20:09
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Seeing as we're speaking about MS Access, does anyone have any suggestions on how to avoid Access corruption due to loss of network connectivity? A user keeps getting the "You have lost connection to Microsoft Access" error message and the DB usually corrupts. We've disabled Sophos' On-active scanning, and there's no GPO that might be causing it. His wifi card has the most recent drivers. He's not experiencing loss of connectivity for basic internet access, Outlook exch connection etc.
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Mar 6, 2014 20:23
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Bob Morales posted:Here's how Access works. Some guy makes a little database that makes some reports and makes his job a hundred times easier. Then another guy says "Hey can I access that?", then another guy asks him and another guy asks him. Yeah seems about right. quote:The two bolded bits are pretty much the standard before and after of Access. You're either new to IT or have somehow never heard of Access. The only time an Access database is even remotely acceptable is: Well I mean, there will be multiple users so woops, but at least part B is there. Very much so there. If it weren't the case I'd do something else. I've used access a bunch of times before, but they were for tiny tiny projects. I must stress that this isn't a major super crazy project, I just have a team whispering in my ear that someone is going to find a way to kill this thing you naive poor bastard Veskit. Either way, this is a side project experiment. We'll see how it all goes.
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Mar 6, 2014 20:26
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DrAlexanderTobacco posted:Seeing as we're speaking about MS Access, does anyone have any suggestions on how to avoid Access corruption due to loss of network connectivity? A user keeps getting the "You have lost connection to Microsoft Access" error message and the DB usually corrupts. We've disabled Sophos' On-active scanning, and there's no GPO that might be causing it. His wifi card has the most recent drivers. He's not experiencing loss of connectivity for basic internet access, Outlook exch connection etc. It's on the network? I think I see your problem.
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Mar 6, 2014 20:38
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Fellatio del Toro posted:No DVD, but there is a certificate and it is web-based and interactive, and, no joke, they redid the training last year and it has actual Xbox-style achievement popups if you do well on each part of the training. We took a similar training at my DoD organization. It was some Cyber challenge stuff, looked like a point and click adventure from the late 1990s. It also had cheevos. As an added bonus, it thoroughly confused all the older HR people who can barely use a computer for their daily work. One lady took 3 days to finish it, with constant helpdesk calls. UFOTofuTacoCat posted:Thanks for the OCR recommendations, I think I've found something that will work what we are trying to do: ABBYY Screen Shot Reader. You can take can select an area of text in an image or whatever and the software will OCR it and copy it to the clipboard. I didn't know things like that existed. I use Snagit at home and at work, it does pretty decent OCR, but it's sometimes flaky. It's a really great screenshot tool however.
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Mar 6, 2014 20:42
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Veskit posted:Yeah seems about right. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ubw5N8iVDHI
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Mar 6, 2014 20:46
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Veskit posted:there will be multiple users so woops Abort abort abort. The only way you should be doing this is through tables linked to SQL server
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Mar 6, 2014 21:13
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