Hotel Hell's Kitchen Nightmare Masterthread Jr. - As Crazy as ABC

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Tasteful Bulge: Sep 5, 2003; It's down to you and me, you one-eyed freak.

As much as I enjoy Hell's Kitchen, I'm getting a little bored with the red team = women, blue team = men teams. Doing this over and over just kinda makes the seasons blur together.

# ? Mar 11, 2014 20:56

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 22:43

Propaganda Machine: Jan 2, 2005; Truthiness!

Let's do dis, donkeys!

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 2
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 15
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 9
"C'MERE!" - 30
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 7
"GET OUT!!" - 22
General rear end-Kissing - 4
General Douchebaggery - 42
Food Smashed or Thrown - 25
Emotional Breakdown - 11
:jp:

- 7
Misleading Preview Moments - 26

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Guarav

# ? Mar 12, 2014 02:43

SpannerX: Apr 26, 2010; I had a beer with Stephen Harper once and now I like him.; Fun Shoe

Okay, I'll bite, though I usually stop watching pretty quickly:

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 4
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 13
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 14
"C'MERE!" - 33
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 6
"GET OUT!!" - 28
General rear end-Kissing - 8
General Douchebaggery - 74
Food Smashed or Thrown - 32
Emotional Breakdown - 8
:jp:

- 6
Misleading Preview Moments - 24

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Scott

Probably a complete douche hose.

# ? Mar 12, 2014 12:50

Doomsday Jesus: Oct 8, 2004; Doomsday Jesus we need you now.

No contest can ever top Raj. He was seriously a mental patient and I wish they would bring him back.

# ? Mar 12, 2014 13:44

cheese sandwich: Feb 9, 2009

Doomsday Jesus posted:

No contest can ever top Raj. He was seriously a mental patient and I wish they would bring him back.

I think that woman with the puppet last year would have probably been similar if not worse if she hadn't thrown her I CANT WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE hissy fit so early.

# ? Mar 12, 2014 13:55

Zero Star: Jan 22, 2006; Robit the paranoid blogger.

Slightly Toasted posted:

I think that woman with the puppet last year would have probably been similar if not worse if she hadn't thrown her I CANT WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE hissy fit so early.

Yeah, the way she just went from "THIS IS WAR", to throwing in the towel and quitting in less than 12 hours was fantastic.

Also I missed the series with Raj so I looked it up on Youtube, and welp:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJVk4q7RUE

# ? Mar 12, 2014 14:28

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

I'm watching through season 11 right now, the way she acted made me think it was for a personal reason than anything else.

The best part was in the episode 4 recap, they show both Gina and her puppet, Antonio Al Dente having their coats hung up and their portraits burned, which I thought was hilarious and I'm surprised nobody caught it in the live thread.

Also the evil dragon coming out of the door in the Episode 7 preview was both terrifying and hilarious. Hell's Kitchen has the funniest editing.

# ? Mar 12, 2014 14:51

Beef Hardcheese: Jan 21, 2003; HOW ABOUT I LASH YOUR SHIT

It's been too long, Ramsay... Far too long. :allears:

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 15
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 5
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 5
"C'MERE!" - 50
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 10
"GET OUT!!" - 15
General rear end-Kissing - 20
General Douchebaggery - 50
Food Smashed or Thrown - 30
Emotional Breakdown - 15
:jp:

- 10
Misleading Preview Moments - 50

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Rochelle

# ? Mar 12, 2014 17:10

OmegaBR: Feb 14, 2012; Come to me .... and live forever.

While they aren't on the website, several sites including the official facebook have put up info on this season's contestants:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/hells-kitchen/meet-the-20-competitors-for-season-12-of-hells-kitchen/10151943083381478

It also mentions the prize this year once again being a head chef position at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. If I had to guess, it could be Gordon Ramsay BurGR at Planet Hollywood.

Also there are three different Michaels, which makes me think one will be Mike (Aresta,) one will be Michael (DeMarco,) and Michael Gabriel will just be called Gabriel.

OmegaBR fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Mar 13, 2014

# ? Mar 13, 2014 01:15

Zero Star: Jan 22, 2006; Robit the paranoid blogger.

OmegaBR posted:

While they aren't on the website, several sites including the official facebook have put up info on this season's contestants:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/hells-kitchen/meet-the-20-competitors-for-season-12-of-hells-kitchen/10151943083381478

It also mentions the prize this year once again being a head chef position at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. If I had to guess, it could be Gordon Ramsay BurGR at Planet Hollywood.

Also there are three different Michaels, which makes me think one will be Mike (Aresta,) one will be Michael (DeMarco,) and Michael Gabriel will just be called Gabriel.

and that page has already goofed by posting Ralph's picture twice, and then adding Michael DeMarco's picture at the bottom as a footnote, without bothering to edit the pics into their proper places. Good job HK staff. :golfclap:

# ? Mar 13, 2014 01:47

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

I wonder if the winner will actually get their ~~head chef~~line cook with huge salary spot this time.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 01:51

cycowolf: Feb 14, 2005; Refill my prescription to whatever that thing is that makes the carpet stop turning into snakes in lieu of my coming conniption

Sadly I can't watch live this year with the thread. I am way more upset about that than I should be.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 02:20

Zero Star: Jan 22, 2006; Robit the paranoid blogger.

ded posted:

I wonder if the winner will actually get their ~~head chef~~line cook with huge salary spot this time.

Unless they start hotspooning during the final, I doubt they'll top Ja'Nel's failure.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 03:20

OmegaBR: Feb 14, 2012; Come to me .... and live forever.

Oughta get this out of the way:

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 3
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 4
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 6
"C'MERE!" - 35
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 9
"GET OUT!!" - 28
General rear end-Kissing - 8
General Douchebaggery - 60
Food Smashed or Thrown - 11
Emotional Breakdown - 22
:jp:

- 5
Misleading Preview Moments - 17

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Chris

# ? Mar 13, 2014 03:55

esperantinc: May 5, 2003; JERRY! HELLO!

Zero Star posted:

Unless they start hotspooning during the final, I doubt they'll top Ja'Nel's failure.

She got popped for coke, right?

# ? Mar 13, 2014 06:03

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

Quite honestly, considering the restaurant industry. Making them pass a drug test to get the prize at the end is kind of a fun way to not have to let any of them work in the restaurant.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 08:03

subroc: Jun 5, 2004

Twee as gently caress posted:

Hell's Kitchen - Season 12
In terms of changes, the only major news so far is that fan favorite Heather is back permanently as a sous-chef Season 12 and on.

Boo! Heather sucks, bring back Andi!

And I'm so glad HK is back. I really need this trash TV right now.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 13:17

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

Season 12's intro looks even more amazing than season 11's.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 13:43

Beef Hardcheese: Jan 21, 2003; HOW ABOUT I LASH YOUR SHIT

subroc posted:

Boo! Heather sucks, bring back Andi!

And I'm so glad HK is back. I really need this trash TV right now.

Is there a source for Heather's return? You can see Andi at the pass at the 1:23 mark on this preview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M_6TYIINYM

Edit: And at the end of the intro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2TfUSXU62o

# ? Mar 13, 2014 15:48

Kammat: Feb 9, 2008; Odd Person

Let the insanity begin!

:ramsay:

- 10
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 12
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 15
"C'MERE!" - 30
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 10
"GET OUT!!" - 10
General rear end-Kissing - 30
General Douchebaggery - 40
Food Smashed or Thrown - 9
Emotional Breakdown - 15
:jp:

- 2
Misleading Preview Moments - 12

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Michael DeMarco

# ? Mar 13, 2014 16:49

Brocktoon: Jul 18, 2006; Before we engage we should hang back and study their tactics.

Beef Hardcheese posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M_6TYIINYM

Ambulance footage at 1:45! Never change, Hell's Kitchen!

# ? Mar 13, 2014 16:51

Postal Parcel: Aug 2, 2013

I'll do this. I usually drop out before black coats though, because the crazy usually winds down

Can't wait for undercooked dicktips

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 4
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 40
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 15
"C'MERE!" - 20
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - ~~ALL SERVICES~~ 20
"GET OUT!!" - 9
General rear end-Kissing - 10
General Douchebaggery - 34
Food Smashed or Thrown - 33
Emotional Breakdown - 15
:jp:

- 7
Misleading Preview Moments - 19

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Jessica Vogel*

* I went with longest "specialty"
I also would go with Guarav because I can't even search to find out what the hell Komyn Parfume is.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 18:17

whos that broooown: Dec 10, 2009; 2024 Comeback Poster of the Year

- 1
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 25
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 30
"C'MERE!" - 45
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 8
"GET OUT!!" - 40
General rear end-Kissing - 25
General Douchebaggery - 200
Food Smashed or Thrown - 30
Emotional Breakdown - 27
:jp:

- 10
Misleading Preview Moments - 20

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Melanie Finch

# ? Mar 13, 2014 18:39

CommanderApaul: Aug 30, 2003; It's amazing their hands can support such awesome.

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 0

"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 29
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 8
"C'MERE!" - 41
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 19
"GET OUT!!" - 34
General rear end-Kissing - 15
General Douchebaggery - 120
Food Smashed or Thrown - 22
Emotional Breakdown - 12
:jp:

- 3
Misleading Preview Moments - ~~All of Them~~ 40

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Jason

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:34

flashy_mcflash: Feb 7, 2011

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 9
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 33
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 20
"C'MERE!" - 50
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 17
"GET OUT!!" - 17
General rear end-Kissing - 36
General Douchebaggery - 99
Food Smashed or Thrown - 28
Emotional Breakdown - 7
:jp:

- 3
Misleading Preview Moments - 40

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Guarav

# ? Mar 13, 2014 20:42

Sticky Keys Man: Oct 24, 2007; Just my package...

- 2
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 15
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 5
"C'MERE!" - 18
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 14
"GET OUT!!" - 30
General rear end-Kissing - 12
General Douchebaggery - 28
Food Smashed or Thrown - 10
Emotional Breakdown - 6
:jp:

- 3
Misleading Preview Moments - 7

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Chris

# ? Mar 13, 2014 21:18

Zero Star: Jan 22, 2006; Robit the paranoid blogger.

- 1
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 39
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 14
"C'MERE!" - 61
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 5
"GET OUT!!" - 29
General rear end-Kissing - 35
General Douchebaggery - 200
Food Smashed or Thrown - 27
Emotional Breakdown - 17
:jp:

- 7
Misleading Preview Moments - 40

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Ralph

# ? Mar 13, 2014 21:26

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Anton Testino
Age: 39
Hometown: Butler, NJ
Occupation: Head Chef
Signature Dish: Pork with Crabmeat Crust

Isn't this Joe Lo Truglio from Brooklyn 99?

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 5
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 100
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 12
"C'MERE!" - 40
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 18
"GET OUT!!" - 20
General rear end-Kissing - 8
General Douchebaggery - 50
Food Smashed or Thrown - 30
Emotional Breakdown - 10
:jp:

- 6
Misleading Preview Moments - 15 (though I do want to say "all of them")

(Tiebreaker) Winner = I don't know. Rochelle? (it won't be Rochelle)

Davros1 fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Mar 13, 2014

# ? Mar 13, 2014 22:44

cheese sandwich: Feb 9, 2009

So you've been chosen last again, how does that make you feel?

Masterchef US: gently caress ALL THESE BITCHES I'M GONNA WIN DONT CARE WHAT THESE FOOLS THINK :btroll:

Masterchef Canada: Aw it's okay that liver I gave you guys the other day was pretty bad I'll come back

Although I'll admit to a bit of bias because it was Krissi in that position literally like every week last year in the US version.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 23:53

Asiina: Apr 26, 2011; No going back; Grimey Drawer

The years without Krissi were downright pleasant. There were some friendly rivalries, but generally everyone got along great.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 00:08

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

So hype for this.

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014
:ramsay:

- 3
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 47
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 10
"C'MERE!" - 55
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 10
"GET OUT!!" - 37
General rear end-Kissing - 7
General Douchebaggery - 75
Food Smashed or Thrown - 25
Emotional Breakdown - 15
:jp:

- 5
Misleading Preview Moments - 12

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Jason

# ? Mar 14, 2014 00:30

Kilza: Oct 4, 2013

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

:ramsay:

- 1
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 41
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 17
"C'MERE!" - 31
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 16
"GET OUT!!" - 26
General rear end-Kissing - 11
General Douchebaggery - 60
Food Smashed or Thrown - 21
Emotional Breakdown - 13
:jp:

- 6
Misleading Preview Moments - 26

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Chris

Can't wait to be way off on all of my predictions!

# ? Mar 14, 2014 00:47

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

YAY! So excited.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 00:48

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Writer Cath posted:

YAY! So excited.

Me too

# ? Mar 14, 2014 00:59

Kloaked00: Jun 21, 2005; I was sitting in my office on that drizzly afternoon listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on my desk and reading my name on the glass of my office door: regnaD kciN