More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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CitizenKain: May 27, 2001; That was Gary Cooper, asshole.; Nap Ghost

Sickening posted:

Texas (DFW area)

Wife is trying to talk me out of my boat and wants to plan a trip to Europe. More money = more problems.

From talking to boat owners, go to Europe.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 16:48

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 00:08

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

Sickening posted:

Texas (DFW area)

Wife is trying to talk me out of my boat and wants to plan a trip to Europe. More money = more problems.

I'm going to side with the wife here, actually.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 16:48

nimper: Jun 19, 2003; livin' in a hopium den

Sickening posted:

Texas (DFW area)

Wife is trying to talk me out of my boat and wants to plan a trip to Europe. More money = more problems.

I'm just lurking this thread but goddamn, take your wife to Europe.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 16:50

sfwarlock: Aug 11, 2007

CitizenKain posted:

From talking to boat owners, go to Europe.

A boat is a hole in the water into which you throw money. Go to Europe.

Also:

# ? Mar 18, 2014 16:52

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

If you DO buy a boat, call it "gently caress Printers".

# ? Mar 18, 2014 16:57

Kyrosiris: May 24, 2006; You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".

Sickening posted:

Texas (DFW area)

Wife is trying to talk me out of my boat and wants to plan a trip to Europe. More money = more problems.

drat, if payday wasn't a couple of days out I'd buy you something. That post put a smile on my face.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 16:57

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

Fil5000 posted:

If you DO buy a boat, call it "gently caress Printers".

"PC Load Letter"

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:17

Zamboni Apocalypse: Dec 29, 2009

Sickening posted:

Texas (DFW area)

Wife is trying to talk me out of my boat and wants to plan a trip to Europe. More money = more problems.

~~Road~~ Boat trip!

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:33

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Sickening posted:

Texas (DFW area)

Wife is trying to talk me out of my boat and wants to plan a trip to Europe. More money = more problems.

Take your wife to Europe, far better investment.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:35

skipdogg: Nov 29, 2004; Resident SRT-4 Expert

You might as well sock away 40% right off the top for taxes

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:37

Malkar: Aug 19, 2010; Taste the cloud

This is now the thread where everyone tells Sickening what to do with his ~~blood~~ ink money.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:40

hihifellow: Jun 17, 2005; seriously where the fuck did this genre come from

Compromise and take a yacht to Europe. Preferably one that will stop for some deep-sea fishing.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:41

Rhymenoserous: May 23, 2008

Buy a new wife and she'll let you get a boat.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:46

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Create a small C program that will seed a random time after a year to break the company setup.

Then charge them again. :getin:

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:47

Docjowles: Apr 9, 2009

Trying to download some drivers for an R610. The Dell site just throws JavaScript errors when I enter a service tag and refuses to do anything. I know it's hard to write a functioning single-value form field in the Year of our Lord 2014, but come on Dell, you are a multi-billion dollar business. I'm sure you can do it! :saddowns:

(Yes I know I can just Google "R610 driver", it just blows my mind that Dell would push a support front page live when it doesn't loving work in either Firefox or Chrome).

edit: oh cool. Having google'd up the driver page, when I click to download anything, I get redirected back to the non-functional front page instead. :lol:

Docjowles fucked around with this message at 17:55 on Mar 18, 2014

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:50

Sirotan: Oct 17, 2006; Sirotan is a seal.

Docjowles posted:

Trying to download some drivers for an R610. The Dell site just throws JavaScript errors when I enter a service tag and refuses to do anything. I know it's hard to write a functioning single-value form field in the Year of our Lord 2014, but come on Dell, you are a multi-billion dollar business. I'm sure you can do it!

(Yes I know I can just Google "R610 driver", it just blows my mind that Dell would push a support front page live when it doesn't loving work in either Firefox or Chrome).

edit: oh cool. Having google'd up the driver page, when I click to download anything, I get redirected back to the non-functional front page instead.

http://ftp.dell.com/published/Pages/poweredge-r610.html

I do agree that their driver downloads page is pretty poo poo though. Especially since they also seem to change the layout and process for searching/downloading the drivers once a month.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:58

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

You're basically insane if you don't use Dell's FTP site for drivers

# ? Mar 18, 2014 17:58

Docjowles: Apr 9, 2009

Finding the latest drivers in a 900000 page document with no filtering ability is marginally better than a site that literally doesn't work, I guess

# ? Mar 18, 2014 18:06

wintermuteCF: Dec 9, 2006; LIEK HAI2U!

Docjowles posted:

Finding the latest drivers in a 900000 page document with no filtering ability is marginally better than a site that literally doesn't work, I guess

My favorite part is that Dell seems to have it as policy to change the support site infrastructure often enough that it's always relatively new to you. Once you get used to the site's foibles and idiosyncrasies, it changes!

# ? Mar 18, 2014 18:08

Baby Town Frolics: Mar 21, 2008; It's like we've got each other's backs.

I would like to personally strangle whichever shitlord from Cisco made the Cisco ASA5590 Router. They are a thousand dollar router with a 5� power cord that breaks inside of the router just by looking at it wrong.

This usually means that you have to ship another router and power cord. The broken router is useless unless you can pry the broken cord bits out of the power slot. :argh:

# ? Mar 18, 2014 18:10

BaseballPCHiker: Jan 16, 2006

Baby Town Frolics posted:

I would like to personally strangle whichever shitlord from Cisco made the Cisco ASA5590 Router. They are a thousand dollar router with a 5� power cord that breaks inside of the router just by looking at it wrong.

This usually means that you have to ship another router and power cord. The broken router is useless unless you can pry the broken cord bits out of the power slot.

I have dealt with this first hand and it sucks so very much. Imagine yourself in a remote Alaskan village working on one of these, the "Network closet" also serving as a janitor supply room. You turn and it knocks down a broom that hits the cord ever so slightly but still manages to break it. I had to hang around for another day and a half waiting on a replacement to be flown in.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:04

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Less than a hour of work and I am done! Things went down like this....

I arrive on site and we start with a meeting between my old management and the consulting group. The tech who has failed so far tries to bring me up to speed with the issues and passive aggressively accuses me of configurations and blah blah blah. I ask for examples, he talks a lot about nothing and gives me none. We agree to work together to fix it and move on. Lots of people are amped up and appear to be at each other all day.

First of all, the firewall is a big mess of wtf. Objects are missing nat entries and someone appears to be confused on when something should be outgoing or incoming when it comes to rules. I delete them and start over. We are talking maybe 30 lines of rules and 8 nat translations for servers. Maybe 15 minutes of actual work.

It seems that nobody actually opened the documentation I had made for this whole setup. I know it was correct because that what I used to reconfigure the entire setup all over again. There was some small back and forth with the consultant about if what I was doing was correct and I pretty much ignored him. After everything was corrected , huzzah, everything worked.

I attended a small meeting after with my old management and the owner to make sure they were satisfied. I let them know that they should probably spend some resources to try and find a qualified replacement to ensure their operations. My old boss chimes in (first time he has spoken to me this trip) and asks me why my documentation wasn't better. I ask for examples of what he thought could have been better and he makes his case. A lot of what he complains about isn't documentation but instead step by step guide of networking 101. I let him know that was out of scope of what the documentation was meant for. I say that usually when you fire someone you take on some risk of losing operational knowledge. Overall the exit meeting was pretty short.

My pockets are a little fatter and I got be a little smug. Overall, would do again.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:08

BaseballPCHiker: Jan 16, 2006

Sickening posted:

Less than a hour of work and I am done! Things went down like this....

I arrive on site and we start with a meeting between my old management and the consulting group. The tech who has failed so far tries to bring me up to speed with the issues and passive aggressively accuses me of configurations and blah blah blah. I ask for examples, he talks a lot about nothing and gives me none. We agree to work together to fix it and move on. Lots of people are amped up and appear to be at each other all day.

First of all, the firewall is a big mess of wtf. Objects are missing nat entries and someone appears to be confused on when something should be outgoing or incoming when it comes to rules. I delete them and start over. We are talking maybe 30 lines of rules and 8 nat translations for servers. Maybe 15 minutes of actual work.

It seems that nobody actually opened the documentation I had made for this whole setup. I know it was correct because that what I used to reconfigure the entire setup all over again. There was some small back and forth with the consultant about if what I was doing was correct and I pretty much ignored him. After everything was corrected , huzzah, everything worked.

I attended a small meeting after with my old management and the owner to make sure they were satisfied. I let them know that they should probably spend some resources to try and find a qualified replacement to ensure their operations. My old boss chimes in (first time he has spoken to me this trip) and asks me why my documentation wasn't better. I ask for examples of what he thought could have been better and he makes his case. A lot of what he complains about isn't documentation but instead step by step guide of networking 101. I let him know that was out of scope of what the documentation was meant for. I say that usually when you fire someone you take on some risk of losing operational knowledge. Overall the exit meeting was pretty short.

My pockets are a little fatter and I got be a little smug. Overall, would do again.

Bravo! I always loved reading your posts and was amazed when you got fired for seemingly nothing. Glad to see someone actually stick to their guns and not roll over and work for free! What an awesome way to go out. Did the guy want like an actual step by step with photo how to? I mean isnt that what you hire an IT guy for? How useless were these consultants if they couldnt just look at the firewall config and set it up correctly? Any idea on how much the company lost as a result of all of this?

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:16

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

Sickening posted:

Overall, would do again.

NAT + firewall rules = boat.

Jealous!

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:23

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

BaseballPCHiker posted:

Bravo! I always loved reading your posts and was amazed when you got fired for seemingly nothing. Glad to see someone actually stick to their guns and not roll over and work for free! What an awesome way to go out. Did the guy want like an actual step by step with photo how to? I mean isnt that what you hire an IT guy for? How useless were these consultants if they couldnt just look at the firewall config and set it up correctly? Any idea on how much the company lost as a result of all of this?

Who knows what kind of money was lost. Its a small company that doesn't operate with that type of business mindset.

The consultant was just some guy in way over his head. Consulting companies just care about billable hours and these weren't a contracted client and instead just a one off job.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:23

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

BaseballPCHiker posted:

Bravo! I always loved reading your posts and was amazed when you got fired for seemingly nothing. Glad to see someone actually stick to their guns and not roll over and work for free! What an awesome way to go out. Did the guy want like an actual step by step with photo how to? I mean isnt that what you hire an IT guy for? How useless were these consultants if they couldnt just look at the firewall config and set it up correctly? Any idea on how much the company lost as a result of all of this?

You say consultant, we say "The bosses nephew who knows Linux."

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:23

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

BaseballPCHiker posted:

Did the guy want like an actual step by step with photo how to?

I have gotten asked for this before. As Sickening said, I consider that a "how to" and not documentation. Documentation is what is setup and why it is setup.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:24

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

Baby Town Frolics posted:

I would like to personally strangle whichever shitlord from Cisco made the Cisco ASA5590 Router. They are a thousand dollar router with a 5� power cord that breaks inside of the router just by looking at it wrong.

This usually means that you have to ship another router and power cord. The broken router is useless unless you can pry the broken cord bits out of the power slot.

Our Sonicwall had the same problem when I got here. If you bumped it, it would reset. They'd been running it that way forever. :[

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:28

Dilbert As FUCK: Sep 8, 2007; by Cowcaster; Pillbug

Sickening posted:

Welp, I just got the phone call I never thought I would get. Looks like I am getting a boat after all. Talked to my new boss and he gave me the greenlight to take off after lunch. We didn't quite hit the 10k mark, but its close enough. I asked for a cash-years check and they are ready to receive me at about 11:30 today.

I believe the current status is that the consulting company got the internet working but none of the web servicing back up. I am probably going to configure a few firewall natting rules for external ip's or something simple.

It appears I will be showing the consulting company my magic during the fix. Hoping to be browsing the bass pro boat yard by 3 today.

Its like I just won a loving scratch off or something.

Nice dude!

Sickening posted:

My pockets are a little fatter and I got be a little smug. Overall, would do again.

Did you leave them with any kind of change log or the like, to document only things you touched on your visit?

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:30

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

That's a really good point. A lot of non-technical management considers "documentation" to be some magic thing that will allow them to sit down and do your job by just following steps if you leave.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:33

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Dilbert As gently caress posted:

Nice dude!

Did you leave them with any kind of change log or the like, to document only things you touched on your visit?

Change log: Fixed your poo poo with the document I previously provided before being fired found here: /home/butt/farts/documentation/THIS_IS_HOW_THE_NETWORK_WORKS.txt

AlternateAccount posted:

That's a really good point. A lot of non-technical management considers "documentation" to be some magic thing that will allow them to sit down and do your job by just following steps if you leave.

My boss is like that. He wanted documentation on our previous products. When I provided it to him he said it wasn't good enough because it doesn't tell how to go from a completely blank computer to the project.

Yes; he wanted the documentation to include how to install linux and how to install the needed packages to get the projects to compile.

FlapYoJacks fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Mar 18, 2014

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:34

Dilbert As FUCK: Sep 8, 2007; by Cowcaster; Pillbug

ratbert90 posted:

Change log: Fixed your poo poo with the document I previously provided before being fired found here: /home/butt/farts/documentation/THIS_IS_HOW_THE_NETWORK_WORKS.txt

Well seeing how dumbfounded his last job seems to have been it wouldn't surprise me if their documentation management system is outlook search.

Also after about a month and a half of HR saying yes/no/maybeso poo poo I finally got a start date of the 31st.

Dilbert As FUCK fucked around with this message at 19:44 on Mar 18, 2014

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:40

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

ratbert90 posted:

Change log: Fixed your poo poo with the document I previously provided before being fired found here: /home/butt/farts/documentation/THIS_IS_HOW_THE_NETWORK_WORKS.txt

Please please please pleeeaaaaaaaaaaase make butt and farts actually part of the path. Oh god please.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:45

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

AlternateAccount posted:

"PC Load Letter"

HMS Needful

# ? Mar 18, 2014 19:57

Qtotonibudinibudet: Nov 7, 2011; Omich poluyobok, skazhi ty narkoman? ya prosto tozhe gde to tam zhivu, mogli by vmeste uyobyvat' narkotiki

Sickening posted:

First of all, the firewall is a big mess of wtf. Objects are missing nat entries and someone appears to be confused on when something should be outgoing or incoming when it comes to rules. I delete them and start over. We are talking maybe 30 lines of rules and 8 nat translations for servers. Maybe 15 minutes of actual work.

This is pretty much every firewall ever.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 20:02

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

scroogle nmaps posted:

This is pretty much every firewall ever.

I think firewall configuration experience is kind of rare sometimes because nobody wants to let anyone touch the firewall ever.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 20:23

Caconym: Feb 12, 2013

scroogle nmaps posted:

This is pretty much every firewall ever.

I especialy liked the one I found today on a local windows firewall approving "C:\Program Files\app\someapp.exe" for inbound connections from all IPs on all protocols on all ports. :allears:

(It's supposed to go outbound to a specific app server on TCP 8001-8006 only)

Oh and GPO. GPO is not the answer to everything people! If there's a problem with some computers having the wrong database config the answer is not to make a GPO to reset the ODBC-connection to your version of the truth at logon and then forget about it.

We changed out a 5 year old SQL-Server today and had a bastard of a time figuring out why the app kept wanting to connect to the old server. :argh:

# ? Mar 18, 2014 20:26

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Caconym posted:

I especialy liked the one I found today on a local windows firewall approving "C:\Program Files\app\someapp.exe" for inbound connections from all IPs on all protocols on all ports. (It's supposed to go outbound to a specific app server on TCP 8001-8006 only)

Oh and GPO. GPO is not the answer to everything people! If there's a problem with some computers having the wrong database config the answer is not to make a GPO to reset the ODBC-connection to your version of the truth at logon and then forget about it.

We changed out a 5 year old SQL-Server today and had a bastard of a time figuring out why the app kept wanting to connect to the old server.

Group policy administration is tough for the short sited sometimes. Its even more fun when they hide that configuration in an object that has no similarities to configuration.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 20:31

nitrogen: May 21, 2004; Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?

Sickening posted:

Texas (DFW area)

Wife is trying to talk me out of my boat and wants to plan a trip to Europe. More money = more problems.

Holy poo poo I had no idea you were in my neck of the woods.

And yeah, dont buy a boat. I used my fat bonus check for a car. Do that, or go to europe.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 20:45

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 00:08

Helushune: Oct 5, 2011

Sirotan posted:

http://ftp.dell.com/published/Pages/poweredge-r610.html

I do agree that their driver downloads page is pretty poo poo though. Especially since they also seem to change the layout and process for searching/downloading the drivers once a month.

I think it was earlier in this thread, someone had mentioned that Dell doesn't update any of the drivers on their FTP site anymore or something like that. I still use it because it's still heaps better than trying to use Dell's support site when I need a driver to inject in some WDS images.

# ? Mar 18, 2014 20:46

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