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Pissflaps posted:When did you become a jozy knocker? I love Jozy and have a strange attraction to him for various reasons, I think deep down I really want to believe he's not just a big paceless lump who cant control the ball to save his life, but its getting hard to defend him with April around the corner and just 1 (one) goal still to his name (albeit a great one against probable title winners Chelsea and skinning big JT like he did). Now I do try and watch him week in, week out, and he just continues to amble around upfront finding literally no space. His positioning is dogshit given he's a lone striker who's known 'strength' is being able to hold up the ball. Its a given that the system as it was today makes it more difficult, but he doesnt go looking for the ball nearly enough, or seem to have any foresight and ability in and around the box which sort of exemplifies his bad positioning once again, as he always finds himself yards from loose balls and never any where near where his attacking teamates seem to want/expect him to be. The commentators were comparing him to Ricky van Wolfswinkel who banged in 25+ in the Eredivisie and the Primeira Liga over a few season, and seems similiary useless in a pretty average PL side, so he's not alone I guess. I should do a Ricky goal montage and see if the vast majority of his goals were in and around the box against teams who defend like this  Regardless I really want to see the day when he will do something magic and have his day in the sun, hopefully for a season in the EPL (or in a world cup against a team likely to do well). He had a decent game away against Newcastle this season, and you look at some of his goals...and theres something in his locker other than luck and really bad defending...probably. Idk I just dont want to see the Jozy haters proved right, this love affair with US bandwagoners who seem to be putting the blame squarely at Sunderland is way too funny and good.
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Mar 22, 2014 22:04
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cadfael posted:I love Jozy and have a strange attraction to him for various reasons I can think of one.
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Mar 22, 2014 22:04
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The difference between Jozy and RVW is that Ricky at least is putting the effort in, similarly Elmander today who's been fairly shite all season completely outshone Jozy today and he's old and on loan so you'd forgive him for not really giving a poo poo.
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Mar 22, 2014 22:08
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When people were talking about shite premier league strikers I felt like including Cisse since he was absolute poo poo everywhere on the pitch but amazingly once he put some effort in he got a goal. There is a valuable lesson here for Jozy
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Mar 22, 2014 22:10
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Blue Screen Error posted:The difference between Jozy and RVW is that Ricky at least is putting the effort in, similarly Elmander today who's been fairly shite all season completely outshone Jozy today and he's old and on loan so you'd forgive him for not really giving a poo poo. Yeah I mean he fluffed that chance today when he should of scored, but I cant recall Jozy having a chance like that, sprinting into the box and getting into just the right position.
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Mar 22, 2014 22:13
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Blue Screen Error posted:The difference between Jozy and RVW is that Ricky at least is putting the effort in, similarly Elmander today who's been fairly shite all season completely outshone Jozy today and he's old and on loan so you'd forgive him for not really giving a poo poo. 
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Mar 22, 2014 22:14
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Jozy is a oval office.
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Mar 22, 2014 22:14
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Any good thinkpieces on Jozy recently?
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Mar 22, 2014 22:18
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jyrka posted:Any good thinkpieces on Jozy recently? I think that Jozy is a piece of poo poo, does that count?
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Mar 22, 2014 22:40
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I watched 22 MLS cloggers (including an uninterested Nigel Reo-Coker) stumble and push around a ball on a plastic pitch this afternoon and every single one of them had a better first touch than Jozy.
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Mar 22, 2014 22:41
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Gigi Galli posted:I watched 22 MLS cloggers (including an uninterested Nigel Reo-Coker) stumble and push around a ball on a plastic pitch this afternoon and every single one of them had a better first touch than Jozy. Lmao when MLS players have a better first touch than you... Might as well just first time everything at that point. Cisse for example looked way more dangerous when he just first times things than when he took a touch and shot.
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Mar 22, 2014 23:01
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Kenwyne Jones has scored 40 goals in 190 Premier League appearances. Jozy Altidore has scored 2 goals in 53 Premier League appearances. Kenwyne Jones would have to continue playing, completely scoreless, for more than 22 full Premier League seasons to be as poo poo as Jozy Altidore.
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Mar 22, 2014 23:23
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This was the first day I've watched Jozy play all season to be honest. The first thing I was thinking was "Is his chest made of iron? Why's he got just balls flying all over the place like that? Is something wrong with him?" I was relieved to see everyone mention that in the thread. I thought it was just me. Then, the more I watched him appear and disappear on the side of the screen, making little cameos like he's checking to see if the game is still going on I just said "Man, he's really as terrible as I feared." That being said, the whole team is crap. It's a team full of Jozy's. And to my fellow USMNT fans, that doesn't make him any better.
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Mar 23, 2014 00:05
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tbp, I see that the chart has made an appearance at Soccer By Ives, nice to see your efforts being appreciated elsewhere
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Mar 23, 2014 00:42
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trem_two posted:tbp, I see that the chart has made an appearance at Soccer By Ives, nice to see your efforts being appreciated elsewhere What's this
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Mar 23, 2014 00:44
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trem_two posted:tbp, I see that the chart has made an appearance at Soccer By Ives, nice to see your efforts being appreciated elsewhere Lol you read soccer by ives
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Mar 23, 2014 00:46
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Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:Lol you read soccer by ives The comments are worse than Big Soccer actually, it's fascinating
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Mar 23, 2014 00:50
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Jozy won't even score double digit goals when he comes back to MLS. He barely scored when he was in MLS and the league is better than it was way back then.
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Mar 23, 2014 02:31
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80085 posted:Jozy won't even score double digit goals when he comes back to MLS. He barely scored when he was in MLS and the league is better than it was way back then. Its actually worse but yeah Jozy blows
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Mar 23, 2014 02:42
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Jozy is going to Brazil.
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Mar 23, 2014 02:45
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vaginal culture posted:Its actually worse Hmmm don't see the point of lying in a thread about honesty
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Mar 23, 2014 02:47
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80085 posted:Hmmm don't see the point of lying in a thread about honesty MLS is far worse now than it was then. It has like double the teams. Absolute trash.
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Mar 23, 2014 03:17
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vaginal culture posted:MLS is far worse now than it was then. It has like double the teams. Absolute trash. Nah MLS is a top 5 league in the world now and Jozy will probably score around 3-5 goals when he goes there.
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Mar 23, 2014 03:30
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mls is not a top 5 league
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Mar 23, 2014 03:45
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Alright we'll just have to settle on 6th best league I'm ok with that compromise
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Mar 23, 2014 03:54
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80085 posted:Nah MLS is a top 5 league in the world now and Jozy will probably score around 3-5 goals when he goes there. 80085 posted:Alright we'll just have to settle on 6th best league I'm ok with that compromise Wait, you're actually serious?
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Mar 23, 2014 04:02
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80085 posted:Alright we'll just have to settle on 6th best league I'm ok with that compromise Holy. loving. poo poo. Please tell me you are trying to troll us because this dumb on an astronomical level. The J. League is better than MLS ffs and they even are a proper league not some communist fairy land league like Oz, Ireland and the US.
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Mar 23, 2014 04:15
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I would call the MLS an elite quarterback.
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Mar 23, 2014 04:16
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Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:Holy. loving. poo poo. Please tell me you are trying to troll us because this dumb on an astronomical level. The J. League is better than MLS ffs and they even are a proper league not some communist fairy land league like Oz, Ireland and the US. He's kidding
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Mar 23, 2014 04:33
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Can smoeone link me to my chart on this other website i love when poo poo like that happens especially when some japanese website picked up my 3 minute video called The Terrance Saga Movie which is on youtube and is a production by tbp entertainment of which i am the chairman.
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Mar 23, 2014 04:33
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drat you guys get really emotional about mls sorry about my joke
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Mar 23, 2014 04:58
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80085 posted:drat you guys get really emotional about mls sorry about my joke Lol I deff overreacted. 
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Mar 23, 2014 05:01
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80085 posted:drat you guys get really emotional about mls sorry about my joke It's been an emotional day, what with Jozy's publicist and that fat guy with the scarves
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Mar 23, 2014 05:16
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Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:This is only true in like Oz, the US and Canada tbf This isn't true at all about Australia! Also I don't understand how anyone thought that 80085 posted:Alright we'll just have to settle on 6th best league I'm ok with that compromise was a serious post and I don't understand how American Jozy fans try to make it sound like Jozy is a good player because he's a striker who has "hasn't touched the ball once within ten yards of the box" and this somehow means he's not loving awful?
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Mar 23, 2014 08:14
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Man you just get me
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Mar 23, 2014 09:40
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The MLS is the best league...for me to poop on.
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Mar 23, 2014 09:42
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I'd like to read some bigsoccer posts about where the MLS falls in terms of the best leagues and what leagues MLS is better than but there's no way in hell I'm going to actually read bigsoccer, can someone do me a solid and dig up some funny ones or something
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Mar 23, 2014 09:50
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I started watching MLS when I was on a hillside in Uganda about 5 years ago and somehow was getting wifi in my stinking, rotting, bat filled cave of an office... seriously. I don't know why. I was pretty bored I guess or I was just curious. And when I got home a few months later I started attending New York matches. The league is poo poo, really it is. The salary caps will keep it poo poo for a while. But I think as long as the fans know where they stand in the world, it's okay to like lovely teams if that's where you live or whatever. However, it is better than when I first started watching. It's better than when Jozy was last there. Jozy will not score his brain-busting fifteen (15) goals like he did last time. And I actually listen to the podcasts on mlssoccer.com from time to time. They rate us below Mexico actually. And to, I think, MLS higher-ups they are just trying to catch up with Mexico first, even though long-term they do want to be in the top 5.
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Mar 23, 2014 11:49
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red_blip posted:I started watching MLS when I was on a hillside in Uganda about 5 years ago and somehow was getting wifi in my stinking, rotting, bat filled cave of an office... seriously. I don't know why. I was pretty bored I guess or I was just curious. And when I got home a few months later I started attending New York matches. Jozy is bad.
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Mar 23, 2014 11:53
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Could Jozy score in other European leagues that people say are competitive and good but are in fact bad, such as Russia,Greece or Scotland?
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Mar 23, 2014 12:04
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