50 Foot Ant posted:

I couldn't remember. Anyone who could recite that poo poo you wouldn't trust with an ammo box full of rocks because that motherfucker was going to lose it.

I knew some guys who could quote the loving Ranger's Creed by heart, which was funny, because they weren't Rangers, would never qualify for Ranger, and were fat lazy fucks.

What kind of gets me, about the whole thing, is the whole "It makes the leadership bloodthirsty!" which, when you get down to it, is something you want when you're going into a war.

Despite what a lot of people seem to think, the whole "YOU'RE THE BEST, ROCK! YOU EAT LIGHTNING AND poo poo THUNDER, ROCK!" is to keep you pumped up, keep you focused, and make you better able to handle the bullshit.

Seriously, think about how hard dicked you were when you first got in. If they told you that you'd have to ride of the top of the truck in a pink tutu to man the M-240, even if you wouldn't do it there was like a dozen guys who would be all "gently caress YEAH!" about it. You need that poo poo. You always need the dude who thinks it's a great idea to have him charge the machinegun.

That bullshit old Soldier's Creed looks more like politics and dude's with degrees or some loving REMF officer designed it, because that loving thing sure as poo poo doesn't feel like victory to me. It looks like some poo poo where we're expected to go around the battlefield and hand out loving bandaids or some poo poo. It wasn't like we didn't get briefings and classes to remind us what was and wasn't a war crime. (LOLOLOLOL, teach guys with NBC weapons about war crimes. Seriously? You expect us to paste the poo poo out of everything in sight and you want me to worry about whether or not some tanker from 1/68th Armor is going to shoot a loving church with his main gun?) Christ, during Desert Shield, before Operation Crescent Saber (or whatever the gently caress that cluster gently caress was called) I must have attended a half-dozen war crimes briefings.

It's like the dipshits in D&D claiming that we're more bloodthirsty now. That new creed didn't make everyone all bloodthirsty, if anything they (command) probably figured it would focus the troops better. Honor Code, Warrior Code, don't pick on civvies, don't be a dick, kill the enemy not farmers, all good poo poo. The whole "Oh, I guess we're more bloodthirsty now then 30 years ago" sounds like they've never met, you know, human beings. They're like the opposite of those idiots on Facebook talking about how kids nowadays are such pussies because they don't get beat with a belt or smacked around till their mouths bleed.

Some poo poo like that creed didn't make everyone wanna run out and commit loving war crimes. It was just some poo poo you heard once or twice, or maybe that loving douche in HHC could recite and thought it made his fat rear end into Billy Badass, and then ignored. Leadership probably didn't pay attention to it either. I know that some people were claiming it showed a certain mindset of the leadership, but that's retarded too. Most of the leadership I knew had a hard enough controlling the loving half-wit animals that DoA saddled them with, I really doubted they were worried about something creed that he knew good and well none of those retarded gravel chewing apes could even read. And leadership above that? No General gave a gently caress about that creed. They were trying to figure out how to finish their 30/40 without stepping on their dicks, getting shot by some retard, having a loving E-1 flip a M113 on them, and being able to bail out with a golden parachute into sweet civvy job screaming "SUCK MY BALLS!" and waving his dick at everyone else.

NOBODY cared about some "more bloodthirsty creed that doesn't talk about honor", everyone just wanted to spend the least amount of time without Uncle Sam probing their back teeth for cavities with a huge green dick. Leadership didn't care, they had enough problems dealing with the drunk and stupid enlisted men, the jaded and apathetic NCO's, the retarded hard chargers that ruined everyone's vibe, and the goddamn retarded civvies up at the Pentagon who didn't understand poo poo but cost effectiveness metrics.

poo poo, I knew motherfuckers that couldn't recite the unit motto. Not E-1's and E-2's, either, because you're lucky if those dumb motherfuckers can remember their room number and not to choke on their loving dogtags. I'm talking O-3's and above that couldn't tell you the unit motto if you offered them free blowjobs for life by supermodels. Even in the bullshit rear end peacetime Army I was in, where SGM's would run up on you to scream about your boots being scuffed when he didn't even know what unit you were in, nobody gave a flying gently caress about mottos, creeds, or any of that poo poo.

You know why?

Because that poo poo's gay as hell and anyone who can recite it is either going to get himself killed chasing a loving medal, or get you killed chasing that medal.

So, in closing of this rambling bunch of bullshit from crazy Grampa Ant, mottos are gay, creeds are gay, and the motherfuckers who think they matter are gayer than either.

orange juche posted:

You need to crosspost that to DnD, and watch them loving implode.

orange juche posted:

You need to crosspost that to DnD, and watch them loving implode.

ded posted:

Then of course pirates start actually being a thing off the coast of Africa so welp I guess it still is a thing.

chemosh6969 posted:

Pirates have been active in the Caribbean before that as well. I'm speaking of modern times and not Disneyland attractions. I know of at least the 1980s. They'd go after old rich people on vacation in their fancy boats, not the cruise ships.

chemosh6969 posted:

Pirates have been active in the Caribbean before that as well. I'm speaking of modern times and not Disneyland attractions. I know of at least the 1980s. They'd go after old rich people on vacation in their fancy boats, not the cruise ships.

chemosh6969 posted:

Pirates have been active in the Caribbean before that as well. I'm speaking of modern times and not Disneyland attractions. I know of at least the 1980s. They'd go after old rich people on vacation in their fancy boats, not the cruise ships.

50 Foot Ant posted:

poo poo, didn't Libya or one of those other Middle East shitholes sponsor terrorists who jumped a loving cruise ship in like 85?

gently caress, there's always been piracy. Fishing boats off the coast of Washington/Oregon had to watch out for getting jumped by Chinese and Japanese ships, the Coasties used to sit in the tavern and bitch about it.

What I've wondered since this modern day Somalia pirate bullshit has started is why people keep painting the goddamn pirates as plucky underdogs just trying to make some money for their impoverished villages and poo poo.

Why the gently caress don't we have the Navy go out, take some loving Jarheads with them, and remind the motherfuckers why pirates quit hitting the US and the other nations.

Let's see how popular you are in your loving shithole, ragtag, built out of ocean flotsam garbage village when the Navy sits offshore and loving bombs the poo poo out you. After all, infrastructure and support areas are legal logistical targets. Afterwards, we just send in the goddamn Marines to mop up any piece of poo poo that remembered that sometimes people fight back and managed to run away like the little bitches they are.

Pull the goddamn Mighty-Moe out of loving storage, load it up with loving HE thermobaric, and bomb their barbaric shithole villages till there's nothing left but a base relief map of a goddamn anime watching teenage spergs face. Every time these lovely pirates in their loving stolen bullshit rear end outboard motor rowboats and stolen loving grape smuggler cigarette boats hit a loving ship, don't negotiate, don't do poo poo but just sit offshore and bomb them until they wave poo poo stained drawers over their head in surrender and beg to give back the goddamn prisoners.

The first world has been too goddamn nice to these loving savages for too loving long. We follow RoE, we try to rebuild the poo poo they destroy, we build them a loving hospital and they wreck the place then complain when their retard rear end gets ebola or whatever hellhole disease brewed up in the goddamn sewer they call a city. We try to give them aid, hold loving benefits, give them money, technology, all of that poo poo so they can be modern loving nations, and they just blow up or sell it for more loving weapons to the loving Russians. Then they talk smack about how they can't be defeated while they wave around loving weapons that better nations created and manufactured because they're still building poo poo in their garages and throwing loving rocks at tanks.

They wanna play war? They wanna claim their part of the big boys? Find, we do a WW-II fighting in the Pacific and Europe. Piss on it, let's invite the Russians and Chinese along too, we can all showcase our brand new weapons, and chase the loving pirates, and the loving bullshit acronym murdering shitbags with them, so far back in the trees we won't see them for decades. We can show these assholes why nobody wanted World War III by just banding together and turning the goddamn Middle East into a loving nature preserve. Show them that we couldn't give a poo poo less about their loving oil, their loving bullshit cobbled together child raping culture and light the loving oil wells on fire like it's 1991 then throw their dead into the oil fires so we don't have to worry about them somehow spreading disease, stench, and stupidity even after their dead.

Blow a loving hole so far in their psyche that every time they see a picture of a loving white person or an America, EU, or Russian flag they roll on their backs and piss all over their stomachs in submission.

People wanna bitch about bloodthirsty? People wanna act like we're being overboard now? gently caress it, off shore shelling like it's 1991 or the loving Bible again. Give them 40 days and 40 nights of sustained bombardment, air strikes, and assholes with nothing better to do then blow poo poo up. If it has 2 or more walls, hit it with a goddamn JDAM or MOAB. If it's a group of 1 or more, who gives a poo poo about confirming poo poo, Hellfires all around and follow it up with a goddamn offshore bombardment 21 gun salute to the ammunition that valiantly gave its life to rid the planet of some goddamn child beheading animals.

I'm tired of hearing about the "noble insurgent" which handwaves away doing Billy Badass driveby's on motherfuckers and hacking off teenage girl's heads. That brag on YouTube about how tough they are but the second someone shoots back they start crying about how they are being picked on and how it isn't fair that just because they cut off a teenage girl's head and hosed her corpse that it's "their culture" because like they've always been, they're loving cowards that avoid a straight up fight because they know they'll get their asses kicked the minute they stop hiding behind other people.

Go Highway to Hell on their asses. Leave nothing behind but blackened bodies that are still frozen, screaming, trying to climb out of what they thought was a badass war machine that we just turned into a loving coffin with two 19 year old privates and a loving AT-4. If they run, we call it a fighting retreat, and stay with it, not even slow down as we just keep loving killing them and driving by their corpses, which now smell better then they ever did. Chase them back to their homes, board that poo poo up, and call in loving 8" HEWP on their asses, then napalm the loving wreckage. I'd say roast hot-dogs, but they're so goddamn nasty even fire can't cure the funk they'd get all over the meat.

Then they'll be whining and begging, claiming that they're being picked on. Same motherfuckers laughing about cutting off kid's heads or machinegunning them on their way to school, will be there wringing their hats and whining their loving asses off that it isn't fair. That people are being mean to them, and don't they have the right to self-determination. Completely ignoring the fact that every time we try to let them have the right of self-determination they use it to rape children and behead old men. That they've proven time and time again they're nothing but the more useless parts of humanity that is more useless then the sand that makes up their precious deserts because at least you can make glass out of sand, and the only thing you can make out of them is a greasy stain that stinks less then they did and probably contributes more to humanity then they ever would have in their life. But they'd still whine and cry, even after claiming they're the baddest motherfuckers on the planet with the AK-47's they traded the only virgin in the village for to some drunken Russian who just wanted to get out of their lovely country. They'd whine, cry, say they're just being picked on for practicing their religion. Waaaah, it's not fair!

Guess what, Abdul, life isn't loving fair.

We let them go to the UN, cry like little bitches, then when they walk out, grab their asses on the steps, then shoot them in the back of the head on the steps, and walk the gently caress off.

These assholes think they know warfare? That just because they stole some loving vehicles that might as well been built by loving magic as far as their dumb backwards asses are concerned, they think they're hot poo poo? They got sold 1950's old Soviet trash and think that because it can kill other backwards rear end savages it makes them hot poo poo?

Let's break out the toys. Remind them of why we're the goddamn superpowers and First World, and they're a bunch of desert dwelling retards that the world wouldn't give a flying gently caress about if it wasn't for the fact they kill each other and gently caress their child sex slaves on top of oil that for right now is useful. Show them that when it comes to killing motherfuckers in job lots, fast and furious, that we're number one.

Wanna know why Japan was a success and the Middle East isn't? Why Germany was a success and they couldn't succeed with a trillion dollars of welfare from their betters?

Because all a loving Arab understands is a boot on his neck and the muzzle of a gun screwed into the back of his flea bitten head.

We showed Japan that if they didn't straighten up and act like grownups, we'd nuke them into loving nothing but ash and memories of failure. We bombed Germany so loving bad that they are STILL digging up artillery shells and loving bombs when they work on their loving roads.

If we'll do that to each other, the dipshit fleabitten retards of the Middle East need to stop and think of what we'll do to them.

The Middle East needs to be reminded that for all their bullshit, all their goddamn posturing, they aren't about poo poo, and if it wasn't for the goddamn military welfare scraps they get tossed by better nations, who left the loving Arab civilizations in the dust and garbage where it belongs during the goddamn Middle Ages, they'd still be using swords and loving spears on each other. That except for oil, the only thing they have is sand, rocks, and stupidity.

Hit the loving place so goddamn hard the loving continental plate cracks open and we can have the survivors out there with buckets scooping up the oil that the rest of the loving world needs and their backwards asses wouldn't even know how to use if it wasn't for the other nations who have tolerated their goddamn nonsense for too loving long.

Peace in the Middle East? The last half of the 20th Century has shown us that the only time there was peace in the Middle East was when you killed enough of them that the rest ran away and hid in their loving caves and wouldn't come out. And then you have to bomb their loving caves now and then to remind them that no matter what they loving think, they don't matter in the long term, they're a second rate civilization that was propped up by their loving betters and now their betters are loving tired of their bullshit because we want to move on in the world and they want to pretend it's 1014 instead of 2014.

Iran wants nukes? Give them to them. The same way we gave them to Japan. Let them see that nukes aren't toys. I know that they might as well be magic for as well as they understand them, so maybe it's time for another Magic Show, where we can headline "The Incredible Disappearing Arab" and at least then the rest of the world might get some loving amusement out of it all.

Because gently caress them. We gave them their chance to straighten their poo poo out and all they can do is kill old men and children and brag about how hot poo poo they are.

They honestly think that the West is afraid of going to war because we might get hurt? gently caress no. We remember what we're capable of. We looked at what we could do and went "you know, maybe there's a better way..." and they think it's cowardice. We oughta give them a loving taste of it, a whole goddamn plate. Tie them to a chair like the fat gently caress in SE7EN and force feed them war till they get the loving point that they're a third rate bunch of nations, full of borderline subhumans who follow the rambling meandering words of a goddamn child raping goat thief.

Remind them that the US, the EU, Russia, and China are all better than warfare then their quasi-medieval asses have been in centuries. That is isn't Saladin against the loving Crusades, this is a bunch of yowling apes against people so far ahead of them they might as well be invaded by aliens. And since they're fine with chemical weapons, then we show them that their lovely VX knockoffs and sarin loving gas has got nothing on what we've come up. Remind them that the First World has been using gas since we exterminated an entire generation in the trenches of World War I and thought that was such a great time we did that poo poo again and called it World War II just so we could see what else we could invent to kill motherfuckers.

Show them that if they can't act right, if they can't act like this is the 21st Century and we're supposed to be beyond beheading children, then they're excused from the class.

Forever.

Booblord Zagats posted:

This is my new favorite post by anyone that isn't a substance-addled Shim

50 Foot Ant posted:

poo poo, didn't Libya or one of those other Middle East shitholes sponsor terrorists who jumped a loving cruise ship in like 85?

quote:

On October 7, 1985, four PLF militants hijacked the Achille Lauro liner off Egypt. The hijackers had been surprised by a crew member and acted prematurely. Holding the passengers and crew hostage, they directed the vessel to sail to Tartus, Syria, and demanded the release of 50 Palestinians then in Israeli prisons. As many of the hostages were American tourists, U.S. President Ronald Reagan deployed the Navy's SEAL Team Six and Delta Force to stand-by and prepare for a possible rescue attempt to free the vessel from its hijackers.
...
The Achille Lauro headed back towards Port Said, and after two days of negotiations, the hijackers agreed to abandon the liner in exchange for safe conduct. They were flown towards Tunisia aboard an Egyptian commercial airliner.

The plane carrying the hijackers was intercepted by F-14 Tomcats from the VF-74 "BeDevilers" and the VF-103 "Sluggers" of Carrier Air Wing 17, based on the aircraft carrier USS Saratoga, and directed to land at Naval Air Station Sigonella (a NATO base in Sicily) under the orders of U.S. Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger; there, the hijackers were arrested by the Italian Carabinieri after a disagreement between American and Italian authorities. The other passengers on the plane (including the hijackers' leader, Muhammad Zaidan) were allowed to continue on to their destination, despite protests by the United States.

50 Foot Ant posted:

poo poo, didn't Libya or one of those other Middle East shitholes sponsor terrorists who jumped a loving cruise ship in like 85?

gently caress, there's always been piracy. Fishing boats off the coast of Washington/Oregon had to watch out for getting jumped by Chinese and Japanese ships, the Coasties used to sit in the tavern and bitch about it.

What I've wondered since this modern day Somalia pirate bullshit has started is why people keep painting the goddamn pirates as plucky underdogs just trying to make some money for their impoverished villages and poo poo.

Why the gently caress don't we have the Navy go out, take some loving Jarheads with them, and remind the motherfuckers why pirates quit hitting the US and the other nations.

Let's see how popular you are in your loving shithole, ragtag, built out of ocean flotsam garbage village when the Navy sits offshore and loving bombs the poo poo out you. After all, infrastructure and support areas are legal logistical targets. Afterwards, we just send in the goddamn Marines to mop up any piece of poo poo that remembered that sometimes people fight back and managed to run away like the little bitches they are.

Pull the goddamn Mighty-Moe out of loving storage, load it up with loving HE thermobaric, and bomb their barbaric shithole villages till there's nothing left but a base relief map of a goddamn anime watching teenage spergs face. Every time these lovely pirates in their loving stolen bullshit rear end outboard motor rowboats and stolen loving grape smuggler cigarette boats hit a loving ship, don't negotiate, don't do poo poo but just sit offshore and bomb them until they wave poo poo stained drawers over their head in surrender and beg to give back the goddamn prisoners.

The first world has been too goddamn nice to these loving savages for too loving long. We follow RoE, we try to rebuild the poo poo they destroy, we build them a loving hospital and they wreck the place then complain when their retard rear end gets ebola or whatever hellhole disease brewed up in the goddamn sewer they call a city. We try to give them aid, hold loving benefits, give them money, technology, all of that poo poo so they can be modern loving nations, and they just blow up or sell it for more loving weapons to the loving Russians. Then they talk smack about how they can't be defeated while they wave around loving weapons that better nations created and manufactured because they're still building poo poo in their garages and throwing loving rocks at tanks.

They wanna play war? They wanna claim their part of the big boys? Find, we do a WW-II fighting in the Pacific and Europe. Piss on it, let's invite the Russians and Chinese along too, we can all showcase our brand new weapons, and chase the loving pirates, and the loving bullshit acronym murdering shitbags with them, so far back in the trees we won't see them for decades. We can show these assholes why nobody wanted World War III by just banding together and turning the goddamn Middle East into a loving nature preserve. Show them that we couldn't give a poo poo less about their loving oil, their loving bullshit cobbled together child raping culture and light the loving oil wells on fire like it's 1991 then throw their dead into the oil fires so we don't have to worry about them somehow spreading disease, stench, and stupidity even after their dead.

Blow a loving hole so far in their psyche that every time they see a picture of a loving white person or an America, EU, or Russian flag they roll on their backs and piss all over their stomachs in submission.

People wanna bitch about bloodthirsty? People wanna act like we're being overboard now? gently caress it, off shore shelling like it's 1991 or the loving Bible again. Give them 40 days and 40 nights of sustained bombardment, air strikes, and assholes with nothing better to do then blow poo poo up. If it has 2 or more walls, hit it with a goddamn JDAM or MOAB. If it's a group of 1 or more, who gives a poo poo about confirming poo poo, Hellfires all around and follow it up with a goddamn offshore bombardment 21 gun salute to the ammunition that valiantly gave its life to rid the planet of some goddamn child beheading animals.

I'm tired of hearing about the "noble insurgent" which handwaves away doing Billy Badass driveby's on motherfuckers and hacking off teenage girl's heads. That brag on YouTube about how tough they are but the second someone shoots back they start crying about how they are being picked on and how it isn't fair that just because they cut off a teenage girl's head and hosed her corpse that it's "their culture" because like they've always been, they're loving cowards that avoid a straight up fight because they know they'll get their asses kicked the minute they stop hiding behind other people.

Go Highway to Hell on their asses. Leave nothing behind but blackened bodies that are still frozen, screaming, trying to climb out of what they thought was a badass war machine that we just turned into a loving coffin with two 19 year old privates and a loving AT-4. If they run, we call it a fighting retreat, and stay with it, not even slow down as we just keep loving killing them and driving by their corpses, which now smell better then they ever did. Chase them back to their homes, board that poo poo up, and call in loving 8" HEWP on their asses, then napalm the loving wreckage. I'd say roast hot-dogs, but they're so goddamn nasty even fire can't cure the funk they'd get all over the meat.

Then they'll be whining and begging, claiming that they're being picked on. Same motherfuckers laughing about cutting off kid's heads or machinegunning them on their way to school, will be there wringing their hats and whining their loving asses off that it isn't fair. That people are being mean to them, and don't they have the right to self-determination. Completely ignoring the fact that every time we try to let them have the right of self-determination they use it to rape children and behead old men. That they've proven time and time again they're nothing but the more useless parts of humanity that is more useless then the sand that makes up their precious deserts because at least you can make glass out of sand, and the only thing you can make out of them is a greasy stain that stinks less then they did and probably contributes more to humanity then they ever would have in their life. But they'd still whine and cry, even after claiming they're the baddest motherfuckers on the planet with the AK-47's they traded the only virgin in the village for to some drunken Russian who just wanted to get out of their lovely country. They'd whine, cry, say they're just being picked on for practicing their religion. Waaaah, it's not fair!

Guess what, Abdul, life isn't loving fair.

We let them go to the UN, cry like little bitches, then when they walk out, grab their asses on the steps, then shoot them in the back of the head on the steps, and walk the gently caress off.

These assholes think they know warfare? That just because they stole some loving vehicles that might as well been built by loving magic as far as their dumb backwards asses are concerned, they think they're hot poo poo? They got sold 1950's old Soviet trash and think that because it can kill other backwards rear end savages it makes them hot poo poo?

Let's break out the toys. Remind them of why we're the goddamn superpowers and First World, and they're a bunch of desert dwelling retards that the world wouldn't give a flying gently caress about if it wasn't for the fact they kill each other and gently caress their child sex slaves on top of oil that for right now is useful. Show them that when it comes to killing motherfuckers in job lots, fast and furious, that we're number one.

Wanna know why Japan was a success and the Middle East isn't? Why Germany was a success and they couldn't succeed with a trillion dollars of welfare from their betters?

Because all a loving Arab understands is a boot on his neck and the muzzle of a gun screwed into the back of his flea bitten head.

We showed Japan that if they didn't straighten up and act like grownups, we'd nuke them into loving nothing but ash and memories of failure. We bombed Germany so loving bad that they are STILL digging up artillery shells and loving bombs when they work on their loving roads.

If we'll do that to each other, the dipshit fleabitten retards of the Middle East need to stop and think of what we'll do to them.

The Middle East needs to be reminded that for all their bullshit, all their goddamn posturing, they aren't about poo poo, and if it wasn't for the goddamn military welfare scraps they get tossed by better nations, who left the loving Arab civilizations in the dust and garbage where it belongs during the goddamn Middle Ages, they'd still be using swords and loving spears on each other. That except for oil, the only thing they have is sand, rocks, and stupidity.

Hit the loving place so goddamn hard the loving continental plate cracks open and we can have the survivors out there with buckets scooping up the oil that the rest of the loving world needs and their backwards asses wouldn't even know how to use if it wasn't for the other nations who have tolerated their goddamn nonsense for too loving long.

Peace in the Middle East? The last half of the 20th Century has shown us that the only time there was peace in the Middle East was when you killed enough of them that the rest ran away and hid in their loving caves and wouldn't come out. And then you have to bomb their loving caves now and then to remind them that no matter what they loving think, they don't matter in the long term, they're a second rate civilization that was propped up by their loving betters and now their betters are loving tired of their bullshit because we want to move on in the world and they want to pretend it's 1014 instead of 2014.

Iran wants nukes? Give them to them. The same way we gave them to Japan. Let them see that nukes aren't toys. I know that they might as well be magic for as well as they understand them, so maybe it's time for another Magic Show, where we can headline "The Incredible Disappearing Arab" and at least then the rest of the world might get some loving amusement out of it all.

Because gently caress them. We gave them their chance to straighten their poo poo out and all they can do is kill old men and children and brag about how hot poo poo they are.

They honestly think that the West is afraid of going to war because we might get hurt? gently caress no. We remember what we're capable of. We looked at what we could do and went "you know, maybe there's a better way..." and they think it's cowardice. We oughta give them a loving taste of it, a whole goddamn plate. Tie them to a chair like the fat gently caress in SE7EN and force feed them war till they get the loving point that they're a third rate bunch of nations, full of borderline subhumans who follow the rambling meandering words of a goddamn child raping goat thief.

Remind them that the US, the EU, Russia, and China are all better than warfare then their quasi-medieval asses have been in centuries. That is isn't Saladin against the loving Crusades, this is a bunch of yowling apes against people so far ahead of them they might as well be invaded by aliens. And since they're fine with chemical weapons, then we show them that their lovely VX knockoffs and sarin loving gas has got nothing on what we've come up. Remind them that the First World has been using gas since we exterminated an entire generation in the trenches of World War I and thought that was such a great time we did that poo poo again and called it World War II just so we could see what else we could invent to kill motherfuckers.

Show them that if they can't act right, if they can't act like this is the 21st Century and we're supposed to be beyond beheading children, then they're excused from the class.

Forever.

50 Foot Ant posted:

poo poo, didn't Libya or one of those other Middle East shitholes sponsor terrorists who jumped a loving cruise ship in like 85?

gently caress, there's always been piracy. Fishing boats off the coast of Washington/Oregon had to watch out for getting jumped by Chinese and Japanese ships, the Coasties used to sit in the tavern and bitch about it.

What I've wondered since this modern day Somalia pirate bullshit has started is why people keep painting the goddamn pirates as plucky underdogs just trying to make some money for their impoverished villages and poo poo.

Why the gently caress don't we have the Navy go out, take some loving Jarheads with them, and remind the motherfuckers why pirates quit hitting the US and the other nations.

Let's see how popular you are in your loving shithole, ragtag, built out of ocean flotsam garbage village when the Navy sits offshore and loving bombs the poo poo out you. After all, infrastructure and support areas are legal logistical targets. Afterwards, we just send in the goddamn Marines to mop up any piece of poo poo that remembered that sometimes people fight back and managed to run away like the little bitches they are.

Pull the goddamn Mighty-Moe out of loving storage, load it up with loving HE thermobaric, and bomb their barbaric shithole villages till there's nothing left but a base relief map of a goddamn anime watching teenage spergs face. Every time these lovely pirates in their loving stolen bullshit rear end outboard motor rowboats and stolen loving grape smuggler cigarette boats hit a loving ship, don't negotiate, don't do poo poo but just sit offshore and bomb them until they wave poo poo stained drawers over their head in surrender and beg to give back the goddamn prisoners.

The first world has been too goddamn nice to these loving savages for too loving long. We follow RoE, we try to rebuild the poo poo they destroy, we build them a loving hospital and they wreck the place then complain when their retard rear end gets ebola or whatever hellhole disease brewed up in the goddamn sewer they call a city. We try to give them aid, hold loving benefits, give them money, technology, all of that poo poo so they can be modern loving nations, and they just blow up or sell it for more loving weapons to the loving Russians. Then they talk smack about how they can't be defeated while they wave around loving weapons that better nations created and manufactured because they're still building poo poo in their garages and throwing loving rocks at tanks.

They wanna play war? They wanna claim their part of the big boys? Find, we do a WW-II fighting in the Pacific and Europe. Piss on it, let's invite the Russians and Chinese along too, we can all showcase our brand new weapons, and chase the loving pirates, and the loving bullshit acronym murdering shitbags with them, so far back in the trees we won't see them for decades. We can show these assholes why nobody wanted World War III by just banding together and turning the goddamn Middle East into a loving nature preserve. Show them that we couldn't give a poo poo less about their loving oil, their loving bullshit cobbled together child raping culture and light the loving oil wells on fire like it's 1991 then throw their dead into the oil fires so we don't have to worry about them somehow spreading disease, stench, and stupidity even after their dead.

Blow a loving hole so far in their psyche that every time they see a picture of a loving white person or an America, EU, or Russian flag they roll on their backs and piss all over their stomachs in submission.

People wanna bitch about bloodthirsty? People wanna act like we're being overboard now? gently caress it, off shore shelling like it's 1991 or the loving Bible again. Give them 40 days and 40 nights of sustained bombardment, air strikes, and assholes with nothing better to do then blow poo poo up. If it has 2 or more walls, hit it with a goddamn JDAM or MOAB. If it's a group of 1 or more, who gives a poo poo about confirming poo poo, Hellfires all around and follow it up with a goddamn offshore bombardment 21 gun salute to the ammunition that valiantly gave its life to rid the planet of some goddamn child beheading animals.

I'm tired of hearing about the "noble insurgent" which handwaves away doing Billy Badass driveby's on motherfuckers and hacking off teenage girl's heads. That brag on YouTube about how tough they are but the second someone shoots back they start crying about how they are being picked on and how it isn't fair that just because they cut off a teenage girl's head and hosed her corpse that it's "their culture" because like they've always been, they're loving cowards that avoid a straight up fight because they know they'll get their asses kicked the minute they stop hiding behind other people.

Go Highway to Hell on their asses. Leave nothing behind but blackened bodies that are still frozen, screaming, trying to climb out of what they thought was a badass war machine that we just turned into a loving coffin with two 19 year old privates and a loving AT-4. If they run, we call it a fighting retreat, and stay with it, not even slow down as we just keep loving killing them and driving by their corpses, which now smell better then they ever did. Chase them back to their homes, board that poo poo up, and call in loving 8" HEWP on their asses, then napalm the loving wreckage. I'd say roast hot-dogs, but they're so goddamn nasty even fire can't cure the funk they'd get all over the meat.

Then they'll be whining and begging, claiming that they're being picked on. Same motherfuckers laughing about cutting off kid's heads or machinegunning them on their way to school, will be there wringing their hats and whining their loving asses off that it isn't fair. That people are being mean to them, and don't they have the right to self-determination. Completely ignoring the fact that every time we try to let them have the right of self-determination they use it to rape children and behead old men. That they've proven time and time again they're nothing but the more useless parts of humanity that is more useless then the sand that makes up their precious deserts because at least you can make glass out of sand, and the only thing you can make out of them is a greasy stain that stinks less then they did and probably contributes more to humanity then they ever would have in their life. But they'd still whine and cry, even after claiming they're the baddest motherfuckers on the planet with the AK-47's they traded the only virgin in the village for to some drunken Russian who just wanted to get out of their lovely country. They'd whine, cry, say they're just being picked on for practicing their religion. Waaaah, it's not fair!

Guess what, Abdul, life isn't loving fair.

We let them go to the UN, cry like little bitches, then when they walk out, grab their asses on the steps, then shoot them in the back of the head on the steps, and walk the gently caress off.

These assholes think they know warfare? That just because they stole some loving vehicles that might as well been built by loving magic as far as their dumb backwards asses are concerned, they think they're hot poo poo? They got sold 1950's old Soviet trash and think that because it can kill other backwards rear end savages it makes them hot poo poo?

Let's break out the toys. Remind them of why we're the goddamn superpowers and First World, and they're a bunch of desert dwelling retards that the world wouldn't give a flying gently caress about if it wasn't for the fact they kill each other and gently caress their child sex slaves on top of oil that for right now is useful. Show them that when it comes to killing motherfuckers in job lots, fast and furious, that we're number one.

Wanna know why Japan was a success and the Middle East isn't? Why Germany was a success and they couldn't succeed with a trillion dollars of welfare from their betters?

Because all a loving Arab understands is a boot on his neck and the muzzle of a gun screwed into the back of his flea bitten head.

We showed Japan that if they didn't straighten up and act like grownups, we'd nuke them into loving nothing but ash and memories of failure. We bombed Germany so loving bad that they are STILL digging up artillery shells and loving bombs when they work on their loving roads.

If we'll do that to each other, the dipshit fleabitten retards of the Middle East need to stop and think of what we'll do to them.

The Middle East needs to be reminded that for all their bullshit, all their goddamn posturing, they aren't about poo poo, and if it wasn't for the goddamn military welfare scraps they get tossed by better nations, who left the loving Arab civilizations in the dust and garbage where it belongs during the goddamn Middle Ages, they'd still be using swords and loving spears on each other. That except for oil, the only thing they have is sand, rocks, and stupidity.

Hit the loving place so goddamn hard the loving continental plate cracks open and we can have the survivors out there with buckets scooping up the oil that the rest of the loving world needs and their backwards asses wouldn't even know how to use if it wasn't for the other nations who have tolerated their goddamn nonsense for too loving long.

Peace in the Middle East? The last half of the 20th Century has shown us that the only time there was peace in the Middle East was when you killed enough of them that the rest ran away and hid in their loving caves and wouldn't come out. And then you have to bomb their loving caves now and then to remind them that no matter what they loving think, they don't matter in the long term, they're a second rate civilization that was propped up by their loving betters and now their betters are loving tired of their bullshit because we want to move on in the world and they want to pretend it's 1014 instead of 2014.

Iran wants nukes? Give them to them. The same way we gave them to Japan. Let them see that nukes aren't toys. I know that they might as well be magic for as well as they understand them, so maybe it's time for another Magic Show, where we can headline "The Incredible Disappearing Arab" and at least then the rest of the world might get some loving amusement out of it all.

Because gently caress them. We gave them their chance to straighten their poo poo out and all they can do is kill old men and children and brag about how hot poo poo they are.

They honestly think that the West is afraid of going to war because we might get hurt? gently caress no. We remember what we're capable of. We looked at what we could do and went "you know, maybe there's a better way..." and they think it's cowardice. We oughta give them a loving taste of it, a whole goddamn plate. Tie them to a chair like the fat gently caress in SE7EN and force feed them war till they get the loving point that they're a third rate bunch of nations, full of borderline subhumans who follow the rambling meandering words of a goddamn child raping goat thief.

Remind them that the US, the EU, Russia, and China are all better than warfare then their quasi-medieval asses have been in centuries. That is isn't Saladin against the loving Crusades, this is a bunch of yowling apes against people so far ahead of them they might as well be invaded by aliens. And since they're fine with chemical weapons, then we show them that their lovely VX knockoffs and sarin loving gas has got nothing on what we've come up. Remind them that the First World has been using gas since we exterminated an entire generation in the trenches of World War I and thought that was such a great time we did that poo poo again and called it World War II just so we could see what else we could invent to kill motherfuckers.

Show them that if they can't act right, if they can't act like this is the 21st Century and we're supposed to be beyond beheading children, then they're excused from the class.

Forever.

quote:

tldr

GENDERWEIRD GREEDO posted:

if you can't take time out of your day to read the words of our heroes i don't even

RonMexicosPitbull posted:

Dnders even if you scoff at the problematic language if you don't see the inherent truth in that post theres little hope for you.

quote:

Peace in the Middle East? The last half of the 20th Century has shown us that the only time there was peace in the Middle East was when you killed enough of them that the rest ran away and hid in their loving caves and wouldn't come out.

quote:

ompletely ignoring the fact that every time we try to let them have the right of self-determination they use it to rape children and behead old men.

Acebuckeye13 posted:

Speaking as someone who lurks this thread and D&D, agree with both in some areas, disagree in others, I'd say it's pretty wrongheaded in its examination and condemnation of the area, both from a recent and historical perspective. It takes the worst aspects of exceedingly bloodthirsty militias, tries to apply those aspects to an overall "Them", which apparently encompass every person from the Himalayas to the Gulf of Adan, and then suggests that we should attempt to indiscriminately bomb every man, woman, and child living across that area. Ignoring the sheer logistical impossibilities and sheer inhumanity of such a task, I think it does display the sadly tragic mindset of a person who is incredibly angry at the seemingly senseless loss of life and constant conflict that embroils the region (Even though, technically speaking, neither Somalia or Afghanistan is actually in the Middle East), even though they have little understanding of the root causes of their conflicts. leading to such statements as


Which is so incredibly wrong and shortsighted I don't even know where to begin.

Also, having recently read Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq, it's probably worth mentioning that Germany and Japan probably turned out better by 1956 than Iraq has in 2014 due to factors far greater than "all a loving Arab understands is a boot on his neck and the muzzle of a gun screwed into the back of his flea bitten head." An actual occupation plan, for starters.

Also, one more thing-


The West never tried to "Let them have the right of self-determination". If we had, there wouldn't be an Israel, a Lebanon, an Iraq, or hell, even Saudi Arabia. The vast majority of problems that have come out of the region are the direct result of Britain and France trying to make Syria and Iraq their own brand-new colonies after "Liberating" them from the crumpling Ottoman Empire. I mean god drat, if you're going to advocate for the genocide of an entire region composing millions of people at least try and understand why it is the way it is. (WITHOUT immediately resorting to "They all behead children and kill old men", because that's clearly a logistical impossibility).

50 Foot Ant posted:

50 Foot Ant stuff.

50 Foot Ant posted:

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Yes, yes we get it. Turn the middle east into a glass parking lot, kill haji, etc. Less ~hilarious~ racism and more actual news and discussion. At least take it to the "LMAO Iraq" thread if you want to free-fire poo poo, consider that the "drunk thread" for current events.

quote:

DONETSK, Ukraine — The State Department said Friday that Russia had sent tanks and other heavy weapons to separatists in Ukraine, supporting accusations Thursday by the Ukrainian government.

A convoy of three T-64 tanks, several BM-21 multiple rocket launchers and other military vehicles crossed the border near the Ukrainian town of Snizhne, State Department officials said. The Ukrainian Army reported Friday that it had destroyed two of the tanks and several other vehicles in the convoy.

Jarmak posted:

Everyone point and laugh at the cop who thinks "glass that worthless poo poo-hole" is a joke post

Snowdens Secret posted:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/14/world/europe/ukraine-claims-full-control-of-port-city-of-mariupol.html?_r=0


The certainly-not-Russians also shot down an Il-76 the other day, I dunno if anyone posted the footage of that here yet

Bolow posted:

Russia actually has working T-64's still?

Bolow posted:

Russia actually has working T-64's still?

Bolow posted:

Russia actually has working T-64's still?

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

saw a video sometime last year where the russkies found some giant self propelled gun from ww2 chilling in a bog somewhere. they pulled it out, hosed it off and did some onsite maintenance then drove it under its own power to storage

Courthouse posted:

Last I heard they were all in storage awaiting scrapping. Nothing operational.

Ukraine however still operates a few hundred modified T-64BM Bulats.

So either it's Kiev trying to cover up more desertions among it's eastern units having brought along armour this time. Or Russia dragged out a few of storage, slapped some blue and yellow to the side, and intend to claim it's obvs local ukrainian deserters on account of Russia not even having any of those tanks anymore.

Someone with better knowledge of t-64 variants will presumably be able to differentiate the modernized Ukrainian version and any fake-Ukrainina tanks from Russia. But honestly the west has done a stellar job of he-said/she-said reporting instead of pointing out obvious propaganda so far, so look forward to more "it's unclear who the heavy armour column rolling in from the east are, the muscowite accented tankers have removed their arm-patches".

psydude posted:

Apparently we extraordinarily rendered a suspect in the Benghazi attack.

psydude posted:

Apparently we extraordinarily rendered a suspect in the Benghazi attack.

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

How many SpaceBux was the bounty?