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When I wake up in the morning, my dick is like, rock hard. Normally this would be pretty rad, but it's very hard to carry out my morning routine with an erect penis. Does anyone know what causes these painful morning erections? How do I get rid of them, do chicks also get them or something equivalent?
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Jun 17, 2014 14:34
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 22:07 |
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Slapping it against a wall usually does the trick for me. When that doesn't work, I resort to slamming a door on it while being very careful not to sever of course.
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Jun 17, 2014 14:43
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sever. from your penis
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Jun 17, 2014 14:49
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Try burning your dick with a lit cigarette. Either you will lose your erection or, if you're like me, you will have a powerful orgasm and then lose your erection hth.
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Jun 17, 2014 14:50
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Apply ice to the engorged area. Alternatively, put your member into the freezer before you sleep.
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Jun 17, 2014 14:53
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every morning is an identity crisis for trans
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Jun 17, 2014 14:54
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kill yourself
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Jun 17, 2014 14:54
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Sometimes I wake up and my dick is hard and I try to jerk off but just fall back asleep. That happens a lot. I cant hardly jerk off lying down because I fall asleep first. That's my story about my erections.
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Jun 17, 2014 14:58
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morning priapism
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Jun 17, 2014 15:03
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Robotnik Nudes posted:Sometimes I wake up and my dick is hard and I try to jerk off but just fall back asleep. That happens a lot. I cant hardly jerk off lying down because I fall asleep first. Are you facing down or up?
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Jun 17, 2014 15:09
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I always beat off right before bed. Like using my phone I just ejaculate straight onto my bare chest and immediately fall asleep. My brain already senses semen while I'm sleeping so it thinks everything is gender normal.
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Jun 17, 2014 15:11
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get naked and run at the wall as hard as you can youll cum so hard
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Jun 17, 2014 15:12
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droey posted:get naked and run at the wall as hard as you can youll cum so hard Maybe make a tiny hole in the wall so maybe your insurance will cover it as daggering
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Jun 17, 2014 15:14
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just lay on your back and then begin to urinate until you feel like you've created a perfect vacuum in your bladder after you're done lean out the window and yell harsh negs at everyone getting ready for work
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Jun 17, 2014 15:15
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personally i handle it like a kid's milk tooth - tie it to a doorknob and slam the door
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Jun 17, 2014 15:15
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Sorry guys, I can't cum straight off in the morning because I have to do my light calisthenics,, so you can see how having an erection can gently caress my routine up. I mean, I'll always take advice on how to ejac, but it's not really relevant to the topic at hand w/r/t morning wood.
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Jun 17, 2014 15:16
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Well OP I've never seen a penis before but I'm pretty sure you can just strap it to your thigh or affix a penis gourd for protection while you do calisthenics.
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Jun 17, 2014 15:24
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do some loving jumping jacks, get the blood moving somewhere else besides your dick REAL ADVICE IN A JOKE THREAD
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Jun 17, 2014 15:37
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Wooten posted:Try burning your dick with a lit cigarette. Either you will lose your erection or, if you're like me, you will have a powerful orgasm and then lose your erection hth.
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Jun 17, 2014 20:57
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I would have to recommend that you yell racist things at it until it slinks away in defeat. Make sure you film it so that if this does not work your doctor can take a look.
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Jun 17, 2014 22:25
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prob you were dreaming about being cucked. tell me op, were you also covered in tears of shame? cuz thats's pretty hosed up if true
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Jun 17, 2014 22:27
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Trixie Hardcore posted:Well OP I've never seen a penis before but I'm pretty sure you can just strap it to your thigh or affix a penis gourd for protection while you do calisthenics. penis gourd is well worth the investmet, trust me VanSandman posted:do some loving jumping jacks, get the blood moving somewhere else besides your dick this but it would helpful to get some vitiman d. I recommend doing it in front of open windows, the sunlight on your skin will cause the vitemans to synthesize
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Jun 17, 2014 22:44
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scream bible verses while violently thrusting a crucifix at it so it shrinks in awe of the Lord, works for me
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Jun 17, 2014 22:59
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i just wear one of these little guys at all time, it makes inappropriate erections pretty much impossible
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Jun 17, 2014 23:21
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have u tried peeing on youre own face
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Jun 17, 2014 23:31
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Use the zen approach. Don't fight the morning wood, harness it. I was just saying in that other thread that through practice and meditation I have gained the ability to urinate hands free while sporting a full erection. It's this type of harmony with the natural world that really improves your life imo. See about incorporating your erection into your calisthinecs (sp?) or maybe dont cus tbh thats pretty gay. Probably just do push ups and sit ups and stuff like a man.
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Jun 17, 2014 23:38
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If you have a male neighbor or roommate the two of you could team up every morning and solve this issue.
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Jun 17, 2014 23:50
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Get old and worry about your mortality; worked for me. Now I just get a raging re-knob from nine till noon.
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Jun 17, 2014 23:52
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Momplestiltskin posted:Use the zen approach. Don't fight the morning wood, harness it. I was just saying in that other thread that through practice and meditation I have gained the ability to urinate hands free while sporting a full erection. It's this type of harmony with the natural world that really improves your life imo. See about incorporating your erection into your calisthinecs (sp?) or maybe dont cus tbh thats pretty gay. Probably just do push ups and sit ups and stuff like a man. that's what calisthenics are.
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Jun 18, 2014 00:29
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ive had morning wood so long-lasting i just went to work with a massive erection and my boss had to blow me to get it down
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Jun 18, 2014 01:00
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gggiiimmmppp posted:i just wear one of these little guys at all time, it makes inappropriate erections pretty much impossible mothers day gift? check.
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Jun 18, 2014 01:02
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I get mourning wood
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Jun 18, 2014 01:03
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Everytime I see this thread I can't stop thinking about rock hard cocks.
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Jun 18, 2014 01:04
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I always get major morning wood the night after drinking a ton of beer. Like it won't go away for the hour I lay in bed praying for my hangover to go away.
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Jun 18, 2014 01:07
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i love waking up in the morning with a blue vein throbber. a boner that just hurts.
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Jun 18, 2014 01:10
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 22:07 |
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Trixie Hardcore posted:Everytime I see this thread I can't stop thinking about rock hard cocks. me either but im always thinking about those so its not unusual for me
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Jun 18, 2014 01:11
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