High Brow Humor: Let's Brainstorm Weed Jokes

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dogcrash truther

From the blunted absurdity of Cheech and Chong to the blazing postmodern hijinks of Homer Marijuana, weed humor has a long and illustrious history in the arts. And what could be more BYOB than smokin' and jokin' and jokin' about smokin'?

It pains me to type it, but weed humor has gotten a little dry and dusty. It's just not "dank" anymore. Like your mom's new boyfriend Rod, the one with the sandals and the beads, you can see why it used to be cool, but it stopped being cool a long time ago, especially now that it's loving your mom and taking her to new age yoga retreats in the desert.

How can we, as a Yob, let this situation continue? Do we not love our weed? Do we not love our jokes? No. No, of course we love those things. There was nothing like a tossing off a lil nug of cannabis comedy in the Yob to let everyone know "I'm a chill dude who also smokes weed" or "I want to smoke weed, and laugh" or even "without the gentle arms of mary jane around me, I will slip deeper into a crushing depression from which i can never escape."

In 2014, it seems like everyone's trying to horn in on toke jokes, but we were there first, before it got corporate and lovely. Don't you mind, that what used to be our humor is getting run into the ground by every unchill douchebag out there? I'm sure you'll all know what I'm talking about when I say that I do mind, the yob minds, this will not stand, you know, this aggression will not stand, man.

We gotta take back what's ours. And maybe its our fault, after all. Maybe we just got too baked and lost our edge. No more. No. loving. More. Use this thread to workshop all of your best weed-related jokes. No joke too "out there" or "crazy" or "hosed up." Let's turn this stale mersh into the most crystaline sticky-icky. Let's roll!

Since we're just brainstorming here, please keep any criticism brief and constructive.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:18

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 00:56

dogcrash truther

Dealer: It's $60 a gram.
me: The metric system? What the gently caress is this, Europe? Just give me a big bag of weed!

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:19

dogcrash truther

The Monty Python Spam Sketch, only its in colorado, and its weed

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:19

Looke

you put a lot of effort into your posts

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:19

Looke

I respect that kind of commitment, I guess that's why you're IK after all

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:20

i am he

Weed should be legal

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:20

i am he

Replace the character played by Adam Sandler in Adam Sandler movies with a big bag of weed that can talk

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:20

Captain No-mates

Dealer: hey kid do you want to smoke this joint?
Kid: No thank you, I'd rather get a joint honours degree at a university.

Kid goes on to be moderately successful.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:21

Looke

weed walks into a bar, ouch it was a metal bar

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:21

Looke

a bag of weed, a jamacian and an irish man walk into a bar, the jamacian turns to the irish man and says "ye mon were is ma weed gone" the irish man who has pink eyes looks at the jamacian and says "i don't know you black gently caress"

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:22

i am he

me (high) talking to my weed: You're good man, i love bein high

weed: you could say i'm the "breast"

me: :wth:

good joke

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:23

Looke

whats the difference between a bag of weed and a woman

weed is more useful

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:23

Looke

weed

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:24

Captain No-mates

Looke posted:

weed

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:24

dogcrash truther

The concept of this one is there's two dudes and one dude is like "let's smoke" and the other dude is like "Alright" and then the first dude is like "i got a new piece, let's use it" and the second dude is like "totally" and then the first dude brings the piece out and it's, like, it's just a big glass dick, and the balls are where the weed goes and you smoke it through the peehole, and the second guy is like "uhhh..no way i'm smoking from that" and the first guy is like "why not? it'sa great piece. it hits like a champ. it's a nice smooth smoke" and the second guy is like "it's a big dick" and the firstg guy is like "look, you just put your mouth here [puts his mouth on the pee hole] thnn yh hv t mssge th bwl" he's talking like this because his mouth is on the dick piece, and he's rubbing his hands on the balls where the weed is, and the carb is in the back so then hes like "thn yh hv t fnger th hole" (he's talking about the carb here) and..and then there's this pure white stream of smoke that goes through the dick and into his mouth and then he's like "wow...fuckin a man i'm so blazed now are you sure you dont want to try it?" and the second guy is kind of like "ohhhh kayyyy..." and the thing that makes it funny is that the piece looks exactly like a dick*, like with a vein and everything, and the vein is a different color. it's clearly a very expensive piece. and its made by shivadas.

*circumcised of course

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:26

dogcrash truther

Looke posted:

a bag of weed, a jamacian and an irish man walk into a bar, the jamacian turns to the irish man and says "ye mon were is ma weed gone" the irish man who has pink eyes looks at the jamacian and says "i don't know you black gently caress"

lol

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:26

dogcrash truther

angry birds, except the birds arent angry because theyre cheifin all the time and the pigs come in and bust them

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:27

dogcrash truther

mellow birds

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:28

shin42k

A pig makes a straw house with a garden of weed.
The big bad wolf came along.
He huffed and he puffed, then went home stoned.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:28

dogcrash truther

plants v zombies but all the plants are weed and the zombies don't attack the house,t hey just stand around cultivating the weed and discussing the relative merits of different strains

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:28

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

dogcrash truther posted:

The concept of this one is there's two dudes and one dude is like "let's smoke" and the other dude is like "Alright" and then the first dude is like "i got a new piece, let's use it" and the second dude is like "totally" and then the first dude brings the piece out and it's, like, it's just a big glass dick, and the balls are where the weed goes and you smoke it through the peehole, and the second guy is like "uhhh..no way i'm smoking from that" and the first guy is like "why not? it'sa great piece. it hits like a champ. it's a nice smooth smoke" and the second guy is like "it's a big dick" and the firstg guy is like "look, you just put your mouth here [puts his mouth on the pee hole] thnn yh hv t mssge th bwl" he's talking like this because his mouth is on the dick piece, and he's rubbing his hands on the balls where the weed is, and the carb is in the back so then hes like "thn yh hv t fnger th hole" (he's talking about the carb here) and..and then there's this pure white stream of smoke that goes through the dick and into his mouth and then he's like "wow...fuckin a man i'm so blazed now are you sure you dont want to try it?" and the second guy is kind of like "ohhhh kayyyy..." and the thing that makes it funny is that the piece looks exactly like a dick*, like with a vein and everything, and the vein is a different color. it's clearly a very expensive piece. and its made by shivadas.

*circumcised of course

you've got something going there i can see this being very funny with some good comedians

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:29

Looke

a jew would deliver it best

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:30

shin42k

It wouldn't surprise me at all if those sort of bongs existed.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:33

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

Looke posted:

a jew would deliver it best

i'm thinking woddy allan and the singer of nickelback i heard that he's looking for a start in his acting career and this could be it

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:33

i am he

a taunt that you could do in halo or call of duty, sort of like the infamous teabagging meme, but you turn you gun around and smoke weed out of it like a bowl

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:34

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

i am he posted:

a taunt that you could do in halo or call of duty, sort of like the infamous teabagging meme, but you turn you gun around and smoke weed out of it like a bowl

a new prank where you tell somone to smoke out of a bong and then they shoot themslevs because it was actually a gun

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:36

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

it couls be a new viral hit

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:36

Looke

my dick in a bong

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:36

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

a parody of a pop song that replaces the original words to instead be baout marijuana

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:38

i am he

a talk show type thing but they only talk about weed, different ways of smoking it (spliff, bong, bowl). also they invite celebrity weed chefs to come on and show themm how to make the dankest edibles possible

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:39