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it's like wheel of fortune but everybody smokes weed and the answer to all the puzzles is a term relating to weed. also you the prizes are weed and weed periphernalia |
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Jul 12, 2014 00:59
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 12:53 |
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like maybe its like the price is right, but you try to guess the price per gram of different strains of weed. and then at the end, the big prize is usually a trip to burning man |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:00
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Alex Trebek: Question, a green plant, that can be smoked to achieve a sort of enlightened state that many refer to as "high"? Contestant: What is weed? Alex Trebek (baked out of his mind): Ooo, I'm sorry. answers must always be in the form of a question. The correct answer is "What is weed?" |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:03
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Alex Trebek: it's the cops! Me: it's not the cops. Alex Trebek: I heard sirens Me: you heard sirens in your hosed up head cuz you're blazed, bro Alex Trebek: *throws the weed in the bushes* Me: BULLSHIT!!! |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:08
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nickelodeon but instead of getting slimed kids get covered in cannabutter |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:12
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Aelx Trebek: it's a, uh, an opera from the 18th century, uh, italian Contestant: uhh what is beatrice di tenda? Alex trebek: pffft hahaha i dont know, like, opera is crazy. i dont get it man. they sing so loud like "oooooaaaaahhahhhoo" |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:12
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kids dont even bother on jungle run just fall in the slime and start shoveling cannabutter in their mouths like animals |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:13
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Captain No-mates posted:nickelodeon but instead of getting slimed kids get covered in cannabutter gak |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:13
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America's Got Talent: *guy performs cool magic act* howard stern: ughh *really good singer sings the titanic song* simon cowel rolls his eyes *guy takes really huge bong rip* other judge: thats what this competition is all about. i dont think we need to vote, youre through to the next round |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:16
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Captain No-mates posted:kids dont even bother on jungle run just fall in the slime and start shoveling cannabutter in their mouths like animals Both teams are just screaming PHYSICAL CHALLENGE before Double Dare even starts |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:17
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Campus is totally dry, man. Only one ounce remains. Competitors must scale the Aggro Crag to score some dank nugs! |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:18
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| any good jenkem jokes tho | |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:18
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I hear some of the heads in East dorm have got a Jenkem co-op goin. Should be some potent stuff brother |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:20
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| A rap song with lyrics about smoking weed and having good times | |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:29
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a guy writes a philosophy book but only when he's high, and then when he reads it not high he doesn't get it at all. but it sells like hotcakes |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:31
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(a customer walks in the door) (reggae is playing) Customer: Good Morning. Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Weed Emporium! Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man. Owner: What can I do for you, Sir? Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the Starbucks on Telegraph just now, skimming through BYOB, and I suddenly came over all disconsolate. Owner: Disconsolate, sir? Customer: Lugubrious. Owner: Eh? Customer: 'Ee, ah wuz sad! Owner: Ah, sad! Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little sensimilla will do the trick," so, I curtailed my 'yobbing activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some irie comestibles! Owner: Come again? Customer: I want to buy some weed! Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the music! Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Rastafarian muse! Owner: Sorry? Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too! Owner: So it can go on playing, can it? Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some weed please, my good man. Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like? Customer: Well, eh, how about a little Panama Red. Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of Panama Red, sir. Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Afghani Bullrider? Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday. Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Alaskan Thunderfuck, if you please. Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Blue Crack? Owner: Sorry, sir. Customer: Raspberry Kush? Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down. Customer: Ah. Stinky Pete? Owner: Sorry. Customer: Eldorado? Gracie Slick? Owner: No. Customer: Any Hawaiian Gold, per chance. Owner: No. Customer: Lemon G? Owner: No. Customer: Louisiana Swamp Moss? Owner: No. Customer: White Rhino? Owner: No. Customer: Dutch Treat? Owner: No. Customer: Dankey Doodle? Owner: (pause) No. Customer: Cheesewreck? Owner: No. Customer: Dairy Queen? Owner: No. Customer: Wild Thai Ryder, Yellow Amnesia, Desert Dragon Kush, Sherry Berry Chocolate, Rollex OG Kush, Beast Mode?? Owner: No. Customer: Cotton Candy, perhaps? Owner: Ah! We have Cotton Candy, yessir. Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent. Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny... Customer: Oh, I like it runny. Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir. Customer: No matter. Fetch hither l'herbe de la Belle France! Mmmwah! Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir. Customer: I don't care how excremently runny it is. Hand it over with all speed. Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause) Customer: What now? Owner: The cat's eaten it. Customer: (pause) Has he. Owner: She, sir. Customer: (pause) Golden Toad? Owner: No. Customer: Cactus Sweet? Owner: No. Customer: Elephant Narcotica? Owner: No. Customer: Sweet Island Skunk? Owner: No. Customer: Juanita La Grimosa? Owner: No, sir. Customer: You...do *have* some weed, don't you? Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a weed shop, sir. We've got-- Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess. Owner: Fair enough. Customer: Uuuuuh, Willie Nelson. Owner: Yes? Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that! Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Willie Nelson, that's my name. Customer: (pause) Ganja Dwarf? Owner: Uh, not as such. Customer: Uuh, Gondwana? Owner: No. Customer: Purple Skunk, Owner: No. Customer: Mendicino Madness, Owner: No. Customer: Pepperjack Haze, Owner: No. Customer: Dready Berry, Owner: No. Customer: Crystal Lightning, Owner: No. Customer: Afghani Super Weed? Owner: Not *today*, sir, no. Customer: (pause) Aah, how about White Widow? Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir. Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular weed in the world! Owner: Not 'round here, sir. Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular weed 'round hyah? Owner: Jack Herer, sir. Customer: IS it. Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire. Customer: Is it. Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir! Customer: I see. Uuh... Jack Herer, eh? Owner: Right, sir. Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'. Owner: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno. Customer: It's not much of a weed shop, is it? Owner: Finest in the district! Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please. Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir! Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by weed.... Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Trainwreck, sir. Customer: Would it be worth it? Owner: Could be.... Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY REGGAE OFF! Owner: Told you so.... Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Trainwreck? Owner: No. Customer: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me, have you in fact got any weed here at all? Owner: Yes, sir. Customer: Now I'm going to ask you that question once more, and if you say "No", I'm going to shoot you through the head. Now. Do you have any weed at all? Owner: No. (Customer takes out a gun and shoots him.) Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life. |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:34
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a book series about three sisters--indica, sativa, and maryjane. the books have nothing to do with weed, except for the girls names, but the author does not tell anyone 
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Jul 12, 2014 01:40
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drug abuse is NOT a loving joke |
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Jul 12, 2014 01:50
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A customer enters a weed shop, carrying a bong with a bowl already packed. Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. (The owner does not respond.) Customer: 'Ello, Miss? Owner: What do you mean "miss"? Customer: (pause)I'm sorry, my eyes are killing me. I wish to make a complaint! Owner: We're closin' for a 7/11 run, bro. Customer: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this ganja what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's, uh... What's wrong with it? Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's already been smoked, that's what's wrong with it! It's nothing but vapoo and ash! Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,... he's organic. Customer: Look, matey, I know a spent nug when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. Owner: No no he's not smoked, he's, he's just a super, super mellow body high' ! Remarkable strain, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful color! Customer: The color don't enter into it. It's stone cashed. Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's all good to blaze right now! Customer: All right then, if he's good to blaze', I'll light him up! (shouting at the bong) 'Ello, Mister Greenie Greens! I've got a lovely hand-blown piece to smoke you out of if you'll smoke... (owner hurriedly lights a joint, hits it, and blows the smoke towards the bong) Owner: There, he lit up! Customer: No, he didn't, that was you blowing smoke! Owner: I never!! Customer: Yes, you did! Owner: I never, never did anything, just chill out, officer... |
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Jul 12, 2014 02:06
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Don We Now posted:(a customer walks in the door) |
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Jul 12, 2014 02:10
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dogcrash truther posted:The concept of this one is there's two dudes and one dude is like "let's smoke" and the other dude is like "Alright" and then the first dude is like "i got a new piece, let's use it" and the second dude is like "totally" and then the first dude brings the piece out and it's, like, it's just a big glass dick, and the balls are where the weed goes and you smoke it through the peehole, and the second guy is like "uhhh..no way i'm smoking from that" and the first guy is like "why not? it'sa great piece. it hits like a champ. it's a nice smooth smoke" and the second guy is like "it's a big dick" and the firstg guy is like "look, you just put your mouth here [puts his mouth on the pee hole] thnn yh hv t mssge th bwl" he's talking like this because his mouth is on the dick piece, and he's rubbing his hands on the balls where the weed is, and the carb is in the back so then hes like "thn yh hv t fnger th hole" (he's talking about the carb here) and..and then there's this pure white stream of smoke that goes through the dick and into his mouth and then he's like "wow...fuckin a man i'm so blazed now are you sure you dont want to try it?" and the second guy is kind of like "ohhhh kayyyy..." and the thing that makes it funny is that the piece looks exactly like a dick*, like with a vein and everything, and the vein is a different color. it's clearly a very expensive piece. and its made by shivadas. |
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Jul 12, 2014 02:20
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Palestinians sneak thru a fence and smoke Israeli hash. Israel responds by nuking the west bank. US deems response "proportionate" |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:29
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you could've named this high-brow humor. |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:31
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Bureaus Watts posted:you could've named this high-brow humor. If only there was a way to fix this |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:33
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Vlad the Inhaler: Blah! I come to vape your veed ah ah ah ah! |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:35
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the "who reads the papers" sketch from yes, prime minister except it's with different strains of weed. |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:41
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that feel when you sneeze the last little bit of resin out your pipe and stamping out the impending fire leaves you with a burnt heel and carpet |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:43
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haha i'm just kidding folks, i've got grantite floors. funny story, i've broken 16 pipes since i've lived here and my cat has an awful limp now |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:44
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A horse smoking weed lol |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:46
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dogcrash truther posted:A horse smoking weed lol too hosed up for byob |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:48
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Get off your high horse dct |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:51
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a pot walks into a bar and calls the kettle black |
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Jul 12, 2014 04:53
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GEExCEE posted:A weed bakery called "pie times" |
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Jul 12, 2014 05:36
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Terrorist organization in afghanistan's leader smokes so much weed in one sitting he becomes completely gone and unable to be interrogated by the navy seals that just captured him, the bravest navy seal starts smoking like crazy to enter the same state and chase him down in the realm of the most high |
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Jul 12, 2014 05:39
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Dennis Rasmussen posted:Terrorist organization in afghanistan's leader smokes so much weed in one sitting he becomes completely gone and unable to be interrogated by the navy seals that just captured him, the bravest navy seal starts smoking like crazy to enter the same state and chase him down in the realm of the most high Add some sick biplanes, and that'd be a sweet remake of The High Road to China. |
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Jul 12, 2014 05:45
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dogcrash truther posted:Dealer: It's $60 a gram. $60 a gram????? THAT'S A JOKE.... |
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Jul 12, 2014 06:46
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dogcrash truther posted:angry birds, except the birds arent angry because theyre cheifin all the time and the pigs come in and bust them |
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Jul 12, 2014 06:53
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a dude named herb |
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Jul 12, 2014 07:15
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ron color posted:a dude named herb an urn with the ashes of a dead guy in it named herb that you smoked by accident and got fuckin blazed |
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Jul 12, 2014 07:24
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 12:53 |
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| this thread reminds me of when i first started smoking pot. obviously my parents inevitably caught me and i was grounded for like a month no phone etc... i never imagined at the time that my parents might smoke weed AT ALL. fast forward a few years and ive graduated and landed my first gig as a project manager for software development at an exciting new biotech company. it was at that time that my father decided to show me the bong chapel. i was visiting that christmas and after my sister's kids went to sleep my dad pulled me aside into his study and grabbed a secret lever which opened a dark, cool, concrete staircase downward into pitch black. he said "follow me, i have something to show you," and i followed him into what felt like the blackest black, i was sure the staircase would never end, but sure enough, it did after onnly like 10-12 steps. then he turned on the lights and it was like a huge room with like 1000 bongs made out of glimmering crystal, of the most beautiful makes and smoothest quality burning/ inhaling mechanisms of every kind, on multi-tiered platforms based upon their cost. the most expensive one was worth like 1 mil so thats the one we smoked out of first. also, with a keyboard in the side of hte room, he could make the bongs like vibrate and produce different notes and he let me try it. anyway, thats just one story from my cool adult life that i actually have, and it just goes to show you, sometimes when you think things are one way they are actually another. | |
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Jul 12, 2014 08:08
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