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Mom with a blog
Jul 15, 2009

Comedy is basically self-deprecation.
You are JEFF.




It is a summer afternoon. You have just woken up.



You are sitting on the COUCH when you are struck by the memory of every lost love, every wasted opportunity, every fading memory of each intangible moment. You are stricken by ennui.



You are holding a WARM BEER. There is a LAPTOP next to you. What do you do?

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SCROTEBUSTIN
Sep 2, 2008

"the asslicker" of fyad
scream
look out window

unlimited shrimp
Aug 30, 2008
> plug laptop into wall
> place hand on keyboard
> begin pouring beer over hand and keyboard
> pray for death

free basket of chips
Sep 7, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
>go back to bed

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?
place socks on hands and talk out the bad feelings

Dubsy
Jul 17, 2014

>redtube

THE FUCKING MOON
Jan 19, 2008
>Check browser history

Dongattack
Dec 20, 2006

by Cyrano4747
>fart












>smell fart

sesame_samuel_
Dec 24, 2012

Pork Pro

THE loving MOON posted:

>Check browser history

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax
kill you're family

Corey Plumper
Nov 22, 2008

This is too realistic for me

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004

go to circus because thats the place clowns like you belong

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008


remove clothing
check the mailbox

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Drink the beer.

ASSASSINS!
Jan 2, 2009
break the beer bottle and jam the shards into your jugular

Dubsy
Jul 17, 2014

Whirlwind Jones posted:

kill you're family

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



>pull out Avatar themed fleshlight

naem
May 29, 2011

gently caress the COUCH

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Dubsy posted:

>redtube

Mom with a blog
Jul 15, 2009

Comedy is basically self-deprecation.

SCROTEBUSTIN posted:

scream
look out window


The images outside taunt you. Happy children, playing without a care. A dog catches a frisbee.



"loving normals!" you shout at your window. No one noticed. That's it.

unlimited shrimp posted:

> plug laptop into wall
> place hand on keyboard
> begin pouring beer over hand and keyboard
> pray for death

You plug the LAPTOP into a socket unknown and place your hand upon it. The WARM BEER in your other hand calls out to you. "Do it, you loving pussy. I dare you."





*bloop*



Nothing happens. You must've drank more than you thought, and you aren't even disappointed. You expected this.



THE loving MOON posted:

>Check browser history

With another failed suicide attempt under your belt, you decide check your browser history.

sesame_samuel_
Dec 24, 2012

Pork Pro
OP, if you needed help, all you had to do was ask.

sex excellence
Feb 19, 2011

Satisfaction Guranteed
type 'bendyman' into search bar

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE
Make e/n thread.

sesame_samuel_
Dec 24, 2012

Pork Pro
Scratch rear end

then

Ron Paul Hype Man posted:

Make e/n thread.

THE FUCKING MOON
Jan 19, 2008
>get MAD. Get ANGRY

Dongattack
Dec 20, 2006

by Cyrano4747
>fart











>smell fart

SCROTEBUSTIN
Sep 2, 2008

"the asslicker" of fyad
post in E/N
e: oh no, beaten by several minutes

Mom with a blog
Jul 15, 2009

Comedy is basically self-deprecation.

Skeleton King posted:

type 'bendyman' into search bar



Your search results only seem to bring up childrens toys, which you have grown out of. You decide to go to the only place that can help you.

Demon of the East posted:

Scratch rear end




Ahh, that's better. Now, back to the internet.



Mom with a blog fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Jul 27, 2014

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
self-diagnose with aspergers or similar using an online test so you can justify all the anti-social choices you've made in life

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
see what's in the fridge to eat

go pee outside and glare at the kids and get arrested for public indecency

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009
"You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."
poo poo on the floor then roll in the poo poo then break a bottle and eat the shards

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
post an intro thread in fyad

Cesar Cedeno
May 9, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 663 days!
Man, this "JEFF QUEST" hits a little to close to home.

I'm gonna go crack a beer and jack off and try to forget about this....

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
threaten the president and make the secret service visit lowtax again

then send lowtax a crazy email when he bans you

nisroc
Feb 20, 2011
invade Poland.

Cesar Cedeno
May 9, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 663 days!

nisroc posted:

invade Poland.

Putin Quest comes out next month.

sesame_samuel_
Dec 24, 2012

Pork Pro
Respond to all response in the e/n thread with confusion and indignation. Then cry and jack off on your front lawn.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
take a big frothy beer poop

nisroc
Feb 20, 2011

Cesar Cedeno posted:

Putin Quest comes out next month.

gently caress me for wanting the character to feel better, right?

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Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3652031&pagenumber=1#lastpost

5

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