GW Death Pool 2014-2015: End Times Appreciation Station

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Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

TheCosmicMuffet posted:

Welcome on this beautiful summer's day once more to the SA forums; Even in death, we still post. It's truly an exciting day, bobby.

It sure is Tom! We're witnessing a new era for this sport, and frankly, the world as we know it.

I am in awe of these competitors, bobby, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Our regular viewers will recognize that there's something a little different about our telecast today.

That's for sure, Tom. We're here for a very special exhibition match between rivals who've traditionally played in completely separate leagues. They're meeting here today under the new Death Pool thread, which promises to be a really exciting venue for, well, just the sort of action we haven't been able see in intrathread play, lately. The SA Forums: truly the cutting edge of sperg. Fear the wrath of the sperger.

Bobby, I'm very excited about this matchup. A little background here: some of these contenders were in the same league at one time, weren't they?

Indeed Tom. This is an allstars match, and coming to this thread are such 40k thread alumnus as Fix and SJ. They are noted posters combining flexibility, succinctness, enthusiasm, and content in, well, just an unbeatable all around combination. We're lucky to have them here.

Absolutely. Fear the wrath Bobby.

Fear the wrath Tom.

There's no question that would be a lot of talent on its own. But this is why I'm really excited. Today, we have Tekopo and Broken Loose!

Tom, you can't see me now, but I am throwing my hands up in the air. These. Are. Juggernauts.

A little history here for the viewers Bobby, Broken Loose swore off the shitfest of GW products, never to repent, and Tekopo, it's safe to say, has written blog posts about board game mechanics...

...and when Broken Loose, broke loose, so to speak...

To be fair, the 40k thread couldn't contain him, Bobby.

Oh absolutely, Tom. This contender is too big for one TG thread. Indeed, for one gaming subforum. In any case, when he broke loose from the 40k thread, it wasn't just a career jump-starting move. To the goons in the 40k thread, there was a real rift that formed. After all, contentious at times though his drafting in the 40k thread league was, Broken Loose became a big part of that town.

No question. In a way, when he left there was more controversy than when he stayed. Love him or hate him, I think it was safe to say that Fix and SJ respected him as a poster, and it hurts to watch people move on in this league.

Feelings are complicated Tom, as anyone with asperger's can attest.

But we're here now, and these gentlemen have come to play. I don't know if I can do a play by play or if I just have to skip ahead...

I know what you mean. I think you should just let it out.

Bobby, these gentlemen took a ballsy first move to criticize excessive randomness in GW design philosophy, and converted it to an existential crisis about the nature of joy.

It. Is. Amazing.

Posting like this is what you pray for in FYAD, but never comes, and what you imagine should happen in every TG--or no, you know what? I'm just going to say it. Every games thread.

Fear the wrath of the sperger, Tom!

I'm in awe. The way this developed; who could have predicted it? The question was, is it ever alright to roll before you roll, and before SJ could say 'slow your roll', we were catapulted into a discussion about if Necromunda was nothing but randomness, is that ok; then, whether any rule with a roll is a bad rule, and that's when...

That's when league play took a quantum leap.

I just. I just don't know.

Tom, ask yourself the question. What does the word 'fun' mean? Does it mean anything?

Bobby, I swear, I thought I had fun once, but now I'm not sure. If it doesn't help for me to tell anyone else, in what sense am I sure it happened?

Here's why I'm rock hard right now.

Lay it on me. _{what? ew. Put that away. I mean... make your point... talk about the thing}

_{oh sorry, I thought you meant...} I'm rock hard right now because Broken Loose, with Tekopo's staccato of succinct interleaving of counterpoints, has turned the discussion into a living representation of what is wrong with GW's rules.

Now it's my turn to throw my hands in the air, Bobby. This is incredible. In a GW game, you're likely to have to roll to see how much you roll, and then your opponent will roll some more. On any given Sunday, the odds are pretty good: it's rolls.

Rolls aplenty.

And you have to ask, what was the result? Is there a way to bring that all together? Even if the randomness is key, are all those rolls necessary, or could it be streamlined.

When, BAM. It hits you. Why does anybody talk about fun? I mean, objectivity, subjectivity, those are clutch plays. You can lay down that smoke screen any time you want. But Broken Loose is laying it out like a monster who's immune to fear.

How do you talk about anything. Ever. You have to use words. But wouldn't it be *better* to use as few words as possible?

Tom, it's incredible. By taking on the structure of a GW rule--arguing about how to argue, he's making an incredibly vivid assault on the idea that GW's rolling to roll to roll model is the same thing as randomness writ large. He's demonstrating it. Arguing how to argue is not the same as discussions, in general.

But not to be outdone, Bobby, Fix took the only approach he could here, and he's dividing his force. On the one hand, he's going after fun, because let's face it, if you don't like fun, you lose--and meanwhile he's analogizing through deft maneuvers, the idea that 'all you get out of a discussion' is what really counts in the end.

He's saying it's all about models removed. Minds changed. Stars blinking out of existence. Fix is bringing the very bleakness of a universe in which there is only war to a thread about the demise of the company that spawned the concept in order to defend the game designs of that company going down in flames!

Bobby, he's literally the black101 emoticon right now. At the keyboard. He's typing with his axe.

Tom, I just don't know how this second half is going to turn out. But, as a fan, I'd say we all win.

Indeed, Bobby. Indeed.

hhhhhhh-oly poo poo-ttttt

# ? Jul 31, 2014 08:50

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 16:45

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Thats literally one of the worst posts ever made on this forum.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 09:51

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

serious gaylord posted:

Thats literally one of the worst posts ever made on this forum.

this post brought to you by serious "babby" gaylord

# ? Jul 31, 2014 10:00

Moola: Aug 16, 2006

serious gaylord posted:

Thats literally one of the worst posts ever made on this forum.

Teach me the meaning of the word fun serious gaylord.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 10:06

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Rename Cosmic Muffet to Captain Scarlet.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 10:12

petrol blue: Feb 9, 2013; sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers

Actually, it's impossible to objectively measure my enjoyment of that post, as compared to more elegantly designed posts.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:09

Scut: Aug 26, 2008; Please remind me to draw more often.; Soiled Meat

Atlas Hugged posted:

Here's a helpful example about how to better utilize randomness and I can't loving believe I have to pull it from Battletech because Battletech has some of the most egregious uses of randomness in any boardgame loving ever. Now, most rolls in Battletech are resolved on a 2D6 roll. On 2D6, the most likely sum is a 7. The designers are well aware of this and so every table you consult is weighted around the value of 7. When you fire an unaimed shot, you roll 2D6 to see where the shot landed. Assuming you're firing at the front of a mech, the biggest part of that mech is going to be the center torso....

That's a perfect example of the sort of reform that needs to be made in GW games. Hilarious that you found it in Battletech of all places. It has me thinking of the old hex-map Heavy Gear rules which had some clever ideas about damage scaling and unit customizing. Ultimately I feel it still suffered from too much record keeping like Battletech but there were some cool things happening under the hood.

On the GW business front; could the current woes lead to the company selling off portions of its IP collection? For players I think this would result in some detrimental fragmentation. Where one IP gets handled brilliantly and another is converted into a poo poo saturday morning cartoon depending on who snatches up what.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:12

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

counterspin posted:

Here's the big secret guys. No one on the internet cares whether you enjoy something, either way. No one cares if you like something, or if you don't. When you take the position that you like something, with no backing claims, all you're doing is shutting down the existing conversation about specifics. And that's why people get snarky, because you're not adding anything that can be built upon to the conversation.

Hey have you ever had sex with a girl?

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:15

Chill la Chill: Jul 2, 2007; Don't lose your gay

Scut posted:

On the GW business front; could the current woes lead to the company selling off portions of its IP collection? For players I think this would result in some detrimental fragmentation. Where one IP gets handled brilliantly and another is converted into a poo poo saturday morning cartoon depending on who snatches up what.

This would actually own. 40k goes back to the way it's intended and we can have inspector closseau Obiwan fighting against Mad Uruk Thrakka. Marines do their wacky 4chan shenanigans with their buddy, friendly commissar. Done in the style of teen titans go this show would unironically own.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:26

Ronwayne: Nov 20, 2007; That warm and fuzzy feeling.

Disney buys it :getin:

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:30

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

I mean I love it, highly endorse having sex with girls or boys if you are a gaygay or a girlgirl yourself. Or be super proactive and suck dicks and clits and poo poo. Go WILD! What I don't endorse is a full page of this, that, and the third. Honestly I'd say get some pussy and it would be a wrap but honestly you guys are the type of trifling bitchniggas that would need pussy to get them. And you know what that works too. Go get you a buff black chick or white or whatever, it don't matter. But go get her to put a ballgag in your loving mouth, put you in a chokehold and marcellus wallace your buttholes till you buttgasm and I guarantee it'll change your whole perspective on life. Also make sure you tip well for the privilege.

Great talk friends, keep it classy. :toot:

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:37

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

simsense cumshots posted:

Hey have you ever had sex with a girl?

Has anyone in this thread?

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:38

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

Oh yeah someone put broken loose on suicide watch I think this motherfucker bout to pop.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:39

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

simsense cumshots posted:

Oh yeah someone put broken loose on suicide watch I think this motherfucker bout to pop.

That's just his natural state, nothing to worry about.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:40

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

Oh yeah put me down for 9/11/2015 tia, there I've contributed to this thread.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:40

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

Tekopo posted:

That's just his natural state, nothing to worry about.

Ok well I have a patented program that'll help him relieve stress and get back on track.

simsense cumshots posted:

Go get you a buff black chick or white or whatever, it don't matter. But go get her to put a ballgag in your loving mouth, put you in a chokehold and marcellus wallace your buttholes till you buttgasm and I guarantee it'll change your whole perspective on life. Also make sure you tip well for the privilege.

tl;dr tell him to mainline a plastic dick in his rear end till it pulps his prostate tia

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 31, 2014 13:42

NTRabbit: Aug 15, 2012; i wear this armour to protect myself from the histrionics of hysterical women

bitches

I... what? :psyduck:

Anyway, mainstream media reference

# ? Jul 31, 2014 14:05

Moola: Aug 16, 2006

In opposite land GW is doing great!

# ? Jul 31, 2014 14:08

Daedleh: Aug 25, 2008; What shall we do with a catnipped kitty?

... what just happened?

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:12

Esser-Z: Jun 3, 2012

What the gently caress just happened?

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:17

The Deleter: May 22, 2010

^^ magic, my friends. Real, honest-to-god magic.

I want GW to sell its IP so that Farsight can get the OVA he deserves. :allears:

Seriously though, GW has no clue what to do with it's IP. Dawn of War and Space Marine were good, but Ultramarine was awful. They aren't taking advantage of their deals with Fantasy Flight, and don't seem to understand that allowing more people to see their IP = more sales. The Lord Inquisitor is a miracle considerng their Gollum-like attitude to their own brand.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:19

Sydney Bottocks: Oct 15, 2004; Can't post for 31 days!

Moola posted:

In opposite land GW is doing great!

"If you ignore all the bad things that are currently happening and bound to happen in the future, then GW is doing just fine!" - Tom Kirby, GW CEO (until January, anyways)

# ? Jul 31, 2014 15:43

petrol blue: Feb 9, 2013; sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers

The Deleter posted:

Seriously though, GW has no clue what to do with it's IP.

I think they believe it's worth far more than it is, and that it needs to be saved for the AAA game, not realising that (as you said) IP only gains value from being seen. From the language used in the report, it sounds like Kirby's proud of having seen off the computer game threat, though that could just be hyperbole.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:01

Chill la Chill: Jul 2, 2007; Don't lose your gay

The Deleter posted:

^^ magic, my friends. Real, honest-to-god magic.

I want GW to sell its IP so that Farsight can get the OVA he deserves.

Farsight battles alongside his world's giant manta and with the help of pop star ~~Minmei~~ Shadowsun they teach the evil humans in their giant dreadnoughts the power of love. $100mil in opening day, hire me GW.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:11

Sydney Bottocks: Oct 15, 2004; Can't post for 31 days!

Chill la Chill posted:

Farsight battles alongside his world's giant manta and with the help of pop star ~~Minmei~~ Shadowsun they teach the evil humans in their giant dreadnoughts the power of love. $100mil in opening day, hire me GW.

I personally want to see the story of the Inquisitor who's good at martial arts, his henchman who has a mechanical arm, the tech-savant (and her bio-engineered dog assistant), and the sexy Sister of Battle who just got woken up out of cryo-sleep, as they go around the WH40K universe looking for ~~bounties to make money off of~~ corruption to root out. :v:

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:16

TheCosmicMuffet: Jun 21, 2009; by Shine

Chill la Chill posted:

Farsight battles alongside his world's giant manta and with the help of pop star ~~Minmei~~ Shadowsun they teach the evil humans in their giant dreadnoughts the power of love. $100mil in opening day, hire me GW.

Warhammer 40k playset for Disney Infinity, Magnus the Red and his wise-cracking familiar as playable character included in the box. Collect all the other characters including Preheresy Fulgrim (handsome prince), Saint Celestine (princess), Gazgul Thraka (likeable oaf), and Azdurabel Vect (mustache twirling schemer).

Finecast toys. Wargear power disks.

Davey Jones weilding Drachnyen, fighting Saint Celestine with a flamingo mallet. Trying to score points by knocking a turtle into a swimming pool.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:19

Sulecrist: Apr 5, 2007; Better tear off this bar association logo.

GW stock is at 635, best it's been since late June. (6/26 it traded at 643 and closed at 622; 6/25 it traded at 650 and closed at 640).

Rumors death greatly exaggerated, etc.

Edit: it's probably not going to stay here and there's still time for the major investors to bounce, but we can fairly definitively say that if something catastrophic happens it will not be a mere repeat of January.

Sulecrist fucked around with this message at 16:24 on Jul 31, 2014

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:22

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Sulecrist posted:

GW stock is at 635, best it's been since late June. (6/26 it traded at 643 and closed at 622; 6/25 it traded at 650 and closed at 640).

Rumors death greatly exaggerated, etc.

Edit: it's probably not going to stay here and there's still time for the major investors to bounce, but we can fairly definitively say that if something catastrophic happens it will not be a mere repeat of January.

I would expect something to happen tomorrow. The big investors arent able to make snap decisions due to them representing so many people. Part of the reason they invest in safer ventures in the first place.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:29

Thundercracker: Jun 25, 2004; Proudly serving the Ruinous Powers since as a veteran of the long war.; College Slice

Chill la Chill posted:

Farsight battles alongside his world's giant manta and with the help of pop star ~~Minmei~~ Shadowsun they teach the evil humans in their giant dreadnoughts the power of love. $100mil in opening day, hire me GW.

I would watch the poo poo out of Taacross: Frontier

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:35

petrol blue: Feb 9, 2013; sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers

The Noise Marine Next Door

e: Chaos Divided, a sitcom about four wacky cultists with wildly different views, and their zany antics. The Young Ones, but with more skulls.

e2: Now I'm trying to work out who The Young Ones are cultists of. Neil = Nurgle, Vivian = Khorne, but beyond that I'm lost.

petrol blue fucked around with this message at 16:43 on Jul 31, 2014

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:38

NTRabbit: Aug 15, 2012; i wear this armour to protect myself from the histrionics of hysterical women

bitches

A group of confused and damaged Eldar children, commanded by a deceitful Farseer but led by a naive Autarch, learn how to piot their new prototype Phantom titans as a series of mysterious giant creatures resembling Tyranid biotitans and FMCs attack their Craftworld one at a time. In the background, the deceitful Farseer battles with the secretive Seer Council for control of the project, while the Autarch slowly uncovers the truth as she deals with her Bonesinger friend, Ranger lover and broken life.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:43

Sydney Bottocks: Oct 15, 2004; Can't post for 31 days!

A story revolving around a group of rookie Imperial Titan pilots from various parts of the Imperium, and how they have to battle the dastardly Chaos-corrupted traitor Khraize Tushrenada. :haw:

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:53

Sulecrist: Apr 5, 2007; Better tear off this bar association logo.

serious gaylord posted:

I would expect something to happen tomorrow. The big investors arent able to make snap decisions due to them representing so many people. Part of the reason they invest in safer ventures in the first place.

I'm just saying this is plainly not a repeat of January. Note that the January movement all happened on a Wednesday and a Thursday--I believe you said a page or two ago that they'd wait until Friday, and I'm not sure where you're getting that from.

It's entirely possible that a major investor will leave tomorrow, or Monday, or in October; my point is that people here were sitting around with popcorn hoping they'd see the place burn down like it did six months ago, and I'm telling them they can go home until they hear fire engines. If something happens tomorrow, it won't be like what happened in January. (It might be worse.)

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:54

petrol blue: Feb 9, 2013; sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers

In the depths of the Necromunda Hive, four mutie juves are trained in the Striking Scorpion path by an exiled elder, and fight back against the gangers!

e: I think it really does come down to them taking the IP (and themselves) too seriously: even though we're taking the piss, GW could easily sell a cartoon with any of these plots if they were willing to just relax about the whole thing. Pimp the IP, expand the audience, test new ideas...

petrol blue fucked around with this message at 17:07 on Jul 31, 2014

# ? Jul 31, 2014 16:57

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Sulecrist posted:

I'm just saying this is plainly not a repeat of January. Note that the January movement all happened on a Wednesday and a Thursday--I believe you said a page or two ago that they'd wait until Friday, and I'm not sure where you're getting that from.

It's entirely possible that a major investor will leave tomorrow, or Monday, or in October; my point is that people here were sitting around with popcorn hoping they'd see the place burn down like it did six months ago, and I'm telling them they can go home until they hear fire engines. If something happens tomorrow, it won't be like what happened in January. (It might be worse.)

Oh yes I'm fully in agreement with you. Their figures are an improvement on the half year focus. The sky is still falling, but its not coming down as quick as people are suggesting.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:04

Sulecrist: Apr 5, 2007; Better tear off this bar association logo.

serious gaylord posted:

Oh yes I'm fully in agreement with you. Their figures are an improvement on the half year focus. The sky is still falling, but its not coming down as quick as people are suggesting.

As an aside, I dearly want to see reform, but I don't want the company to die, and I really don't want 1900 people to have to look for new jobs. I think best-case scenario somebody like Hasbro buys them when they're in a good, stable place and starts building up slowly and steadily from a sustainable foundation. I'm not a sadist and I don't want to see a bloody transition period. And I hope that if GW does die sooner rather than later that FFG keeps doing RPGs and board games and that BL and Forge World continue to operate.

Stockchat: Closed at 619, so it's back down to early July. Could be a harbinger of imminent destruction!!! Stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sulecrist fucked around with this message at 17:17 on Jul 31, 2014

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:14

TheCosmicMuffet: Jun 21, 2009; by Shine

petrol blue posted:

In the depths of the Necromunda Hive, four mutie juves are trained in the Striking Scorpion path by an exiled elder, and fight back against the gangers!

Nono! An exiled eldar trains a beastman that he adopts from the underhive when he finds him wandering in the sub-sub-sub-sub-sewer. Then a dark eldar who had known him in his ancient past before the fall coincidentally uses the webway portal that the exiled eldar used to get there in the first place in order to set up a slave harvesting operation. They meet and duel, and in the fight, the exiled eldar is killed. The beastman goes on to train the mutie juves. Then, later, they kill the dark eldar leader by knocking him off a scaffolding into a garbage compactor.

_{I mean. Whatever. _{I don't care about the very precise set of steps in the canon of that origin story...}}

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:19

wizardstick: Apr 27, 2013

petrol blue posted:

The Noise Marine Next Door

e: Chaos Divided, a sitcom about four wacky cultists with wildly different views, and their zany antics. The Young Ones, but with more skulls.

e2: Now I'm trying to work out who The Young Ones are cultists of. Neil = Nurgle, Vivian = Khorne, but beyond that I'm lost.

Haha Mike should be Tzeentch but that leaves Rick to be Slaneesh's worst cultist.

Which just leads to further questions like would the toffs in the University challenge episode represent some of the primarchs? What would the stats for SPG be?

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:25

Babysitter Super Sleuth: Apr 26, 2012; my posts are as bad the Current Releases review of Gone Girl

Y'all joke but the imperial knight fluff is basically an anime in all but name as it is.

Also I fully hope that if/when someone buys the 40k IP they just contract out the model making side to bandai. $100 precolored warhounds, anybody?

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:30

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 16:45

Chill la Chill: Jul 2, 2007; Don't lose your gay

Sydney Bottocks posted:

I personally want to see the story of the Inquisitor who's good at martial arts, his henchman who has a mechanical arm, the tech-savant (and her bio-engineered dog assistant), and the sexy Sister of Battle who just got woken up out of cryo-sleep, as they go around the WH40K universe looking for ~~bounties to make money off of~~ corruption to root out.

Anime dogs are v kawaii a robot anime dog would be even more kawaii.

All of these ideas are great and really wish this happened now. I want my little nephews to play with their St. Celestine plushies and finally get rid of those awful BDSM nuns.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 17:33

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