- Ben Smash
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LARDROOM
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I want to go out in a funny way when I quit this place. Any posters who have chatted with me in BYOB chat know I fuckin' hate my job and the person I work for. The rub is that this place would be an excellent reference but I kind of want to go out in a blaze of glory.
My favorite "I quit" story involves a guy screaming "KIMBO SLICE, MOTHERFUCKERRR" and then breaking his keyboard on his cube wall.
I was thinking about stealing a bunch of pens...
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Aug 7, 2014 14:59
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 16, 2024 18:06
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- cruft
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At one place I worked, this dude went around all the executives offices with a Nerf gun, methodically pointing at each one's head and calmly saying "bang".
Then he walked out and never came back.
Upper management was flipping out for at least a month after.
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Aug 7, 2014 15:02
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- Captain No-mates
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keep recycling your gbs thread ideas until they fire you
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Aug 7, 2014 15:04
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- Ben Smash
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LARDROOM
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We had 2 salesmen quit in the space of 2 weeks in the last 30 days. One literally quit in the middle of the day, the Monday after payday (they dicked with commissions) and the other came into my office to quit and said he need to get the gently caress out of dodge because of some real poo poo in his life. Latter only had 5 days on the job, the former had about 10 years. Now my company only has one salesman and he's only halfway out-the-door
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Aug 7, 2014 15:04
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- Ben Smash
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LARDROOM
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keep recycling your gbs thread ideas until they fire you
I was hoping BYOB would be funnier and less abusive.
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Aug 7, 2014 15:05
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- Captain No-mates
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uhh quit the job by going into the boss office and making a really high pitch annoying noise and refuse to leave
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Aug 7, 2014 15:07
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- Captain No-mates
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job quit by attacking secretary with a hammer
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Aug 7, 2014 15:08
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- Captain No-mates
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cease your employment by replacing a random word in your vocabulary with friend of the family and dont acknowledge anything weird
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Aug 7, 2014 15:08
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- Ben Smash
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LARDROOM
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uhh quit the job by going into the boss office and making a really high pitch annoying noise and refuse to leave
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cVlTeIATBs
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Aug 7, 2014 15:10
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- cruft
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Bring in donuts. Don't eat any. When they're all gone send out an email saying you peed on them. 5 minutes later send a follow-up saying "just kidding guys hope you enjoyed them".
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Aug 7, 2014 15:13
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- Ben Smash
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LARDROOM
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I was thinking of buying a cake that says "This is my 2 weeks' notice" and then emailing everyone that there is free cake in the lunchroom.
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Aug 7, 2014 15:17
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- treasure bear
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write I QUIT on a wall with nutella
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Aug 7, 2014 15:18
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- Captain No-mates
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get a go kart and dress up as bowser
when your boss is leaving in his car pul up beside him in the go-kart and throw your pet turtle through his window and yell friend of the family!!!
never come back
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Aug 7, 2014 15:21
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- saboten
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I was thinking of buying a cake that says "This is my 2 weeks' notice" and then emailing everyone that there is free cake in the lunchroom.
replace cake w goatse
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Aug 7, 2014 15:24
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- cuntman.net
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cease your employment by replacing a random word in your vocabulary with friend of the family and dont acknowledge anything weird
lol
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Aug 7, 2014 15:45
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- cuntman.net
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move all your stuff from your cubicle into a toilet stall and claim it as your own
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Aug 7, 2014 15:46
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- Ben Smash
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LARDROOM
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My office actually used to be next to the bathroom and I could hear people poop. It was awful
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Aug 7, 2014 16:11
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- cuntman.net
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move everything from a toilet still into your cubicle
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Aug 7, 2014 16:13
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- dad gay. so what
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by FactsAreUseless
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take a poo poo on your desk, eat all the poo poo (and rub it all over your face and dick while you jack off) grab a phone and run into your bosses office screaming " I have HR on the phone we are being sued!" - before you hand him the phone - vomit the poo poo that you ate on the receiver and shove it up to his face. he will start vomiting, so piss all over him while he is on the ground and then murder him. poo poo and cum on his corpse and then jump out of the window, killing yourself. (be sure to update your resume first lol!)
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Aug 7, 2014 16:18
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- A Bad King
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Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.
Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?
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Ok Ben this is what you do:
Find the address of your boss, the place your boss's wife works, the schools his children attend, etc up until the second cousin.
That means get all that info down up and down the family line for at least 4 generations.
I know. It's going to be hard work, but it is worth it.
Now for stage 2:
Rape every single one of them in the poop chute.
Post it on facebook.
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Aug 7, 2014 16:20
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- google THIS
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*flips through dictionary*
*places finger on page with eyes closed*
the (article)
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Aug 7, 2014 16:24
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- Disco_Bandit
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Wait until a busy time of year and stop showing up without notice
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Aug 7, 2014 16:28
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- google THIS
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Wait until a busy time of year and stop showing up without notice
aw poo poo man, black friday was today? my bad
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Aug 7, 2014 16:31
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- Ben Smash
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LARDROOM
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Wait until a busy time of year and stop showing up without notice
Usually the first of the month is when I run network health reports. I'm the only one who does them and knows how to do them and has the time to do them. When I leave here they're never going to get done again and nobody will have any oversight, again.
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Aug 7, 2014 16:36
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- dad gay. so what
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by FactsAreUseless
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Usually the first of the month is when I run network health reports. I'm the only one who does them and knows how to do them and has the time to do them. When I leave here they're never going to get done again and nobody will have any oversight, again.
im sure everything will be fine, no one there likes you anyway, plus your work really amounts to dog poo poo in the big scheme of things.
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Aug 7, 2014 16:42
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- mags
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I am a congenital optimist.
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have you ever sold anything to your boss on PayPal?
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Aug 7, 2014 16:46
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- A Bad King
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Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.
Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?
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have you ever sold anything to your boss on PayPal?
too soon. 
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Aug 7, 2014 16:50
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- Yobgoblin
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Smoke a huge blunt in the center of the office. Finish the entire thing before you leave.
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Aug 7, 2014 16:52
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- Disco_Bandit
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Time it right. Let work pile up for a long time, right before you leave at the worst possible time. Nobody will be able to fill in for you let alone make up for all the poo poo you didn't do. Leave knowing you caused them a slight bit of inconvenience that'll balloon into people bitching all about the office for weeks
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Aug 7, 2014 16:54
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- InterceptorV8
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Loaded up and trucking.We gonna do what they say cant be done.
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Pee in the coffee maker and take a dump in random desk drawers.
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Aug 7, 2014 16:58
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- Diqnol
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Going into your boss's office with a two weeks notice letter, looking him in the eyes while you hand it to him. Let him read it in full, but before he responds you say "I know what you're going to say. It's been great working with you too." and then leave his office.
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Aug 7, 2014 17:05
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- cruft
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Start bringing an anime gently caress pillow to work.
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Aug 7, 2014 17:06
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- Ben Smash
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LARDROOM
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Being the dog poo poo i am, I spit on a particularly foul salesman's chair a couple times, way back when.
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Aug 7, 2014 17:06
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- cruft
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At one place I worked, this dude went around all the executives offices with a Nerf gun, methodically pointing at each one's head and calmly saying "bang".
Then he walked out and never came back.
Upper management was flipping out for at least a month after.
Same place: a guy in the documentation squad kept bringing prostitutes to his office to give him blow jobs. It took a full year before anybody mustered up the nerve to fire him.
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Aug 7, 2014 17:07
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 16, 2024 18:06
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- cruft
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Same place: a guy in the documentation squad kept bringing prostitutes to his office to give him blow jobs. It took a full year before anybody mustered up the nerve to fire him.
Different place: I was called in to investigate an employee emailing out pornographic photos. From her work computer. Of herself.
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Aug 7, 2014 17:08
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Aug 7, 2014 14:59
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