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Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Over in the N/V thread it was a slow day, so we started spitballing the best possible team composed of fictional players. Here is the thread to put together the best team you can.
    RULES:
  • Only one player per "franchise", no putting the entire Major League roster on the list
  • No 'real players playing themselves' like picking Ken Griffy Jr. from Little Big League
  • No superheroes or cartoons
GO!

Starting point:
1B: Mr. Go
2B: Marla Hooch
SS: Henry Skrimshander
3B: Ed
C: Crash Davis

OF: Roy Hobbs
OF: Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez
OF: Worf, Son of Mogh

Bench/Org Depth: Kelly Leak
Stan "Mr. 3000" Ross

SP: Steve Nebraska
SP: Sidd Finch
SP: Mel Clark (possibly with Angels)
SP: Rick Vaughn
LR: Sam Malone
RP: Monty Brewster
SU: Kenny Powers
CL: Henry Rowengardner

Manager: Bill Heywood

Research Tool

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Aug 7, 2014

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Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Don't forget that Twilight has baseball.

Also, Sam from Cheers was a pitcher. Probably want him as LR/mopup.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


I go back and forth on the "no one-time appearance" thing for TV characters, because it closes off the Worf, Son of Mogh and Homer Simpson option just to close the "Superman and The Flash played Baseball for Earth's Freedom" bullshit.

I'll just change it to "no superheroes or cartoons," which rules out Homer but gives us Worf and Sam from Cheers.

TheFlyingLlama posted:

Man, 1B has to be Mr. Go
I guess he could DH too, but you have to get that bat in the lineup somewhere.
OK, found a spot for Mr. Go, but that puts Mr. 3000 on the bench. Still need a 2B.

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Aug 7, 2014

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?



Man, 1B has to be Mr. Go
I guess he could DH too, but you have to get that bat in the lineup somewhere.

EDIT: Actually that should also mean that Wei Wei, Ling Ling's trainer should be the first base coach.

TheFlyingLlama fucked around with this message at 19:33 on Aug 7, 2014

Stiev Awt
Mar 20, 2007


Monty Brewster for AAA callup to fill out the bullpen.

MaximumBob
Jan 15, 2006

You're moving who to the bullpen?
Admittedly he's young and could use some time in the minors, but Henry Skrimshander could probably slide over from short to second and give you excellent defense.

MaximumBob fucked around with this message at 19:43 on Aug 7, 2014

Deteriorata
Feb 6, 2005

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


So both Ed and Mr. Go are really 1B, but I moved Ed over to the hot corner based on Chimps having really strong arms, but I would really prefer him to be a DH for interleague and/or bench depth, if someone can recommend a true 3B.

Also we've got a great 1/2 in Nebraska/Finch, but it falls off pretty quick after that. Vaughn started out as a starter, maybe he could go the Smoltz route and return to starting, giving us Kenny Powers to set up Rowengarder and then Malone and Brewster to play ~*matchups*~

Middle infield seems to be the tricky one, we've got some stone-legged outfielders doing their best Raul Ibanez impressions, I'd love to get Benny into CF but not if we have to play an 11-year-old at SS.

Dottie Hinson as a backup C is pretty much only there for her glove and to give Davis a day off once in a while.

If we can find enough mashers, it might be interesting to bring in Jake Cisco to pitch instead of relying on Worf, Son of Mogh

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Aug 7, 2014

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
What position did Homer play on the Power Plant softball team? He was the team's leading hitter before being displaced by Darryl Strawberry.

Edit: He was the right fielder.

2nd edit: no cartoons :downs:

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


seiferguy posted:

What position did Homer play on the Power Plant softball team? He was the team's leading hitter before being displaced by Darryl Strawberry.

He was a RF, but unfortunately we can't use him without letting in Bugs Bunny and Superman, who completely destroy the integrity of the sport by being able to literally fly and to throw the ball less than 1mph with no break, causing multiple batters to strike out on the same pitch.

v v SMART! :eng101:

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Aug 7, 2014

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Rather than using Dottie Henson as a backup C, why not use Marla Hooch as a 2B? She kills the ball off male pitching, and she's a natural 2B.

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

Billy Young, played by Roy Scheider, was the veteran outfielder who turns his season around and leads the Tigers to the playoffs after being inspired by the main character in the made-for-TV movie Tiger Town. Need that veteran presence off the bench.

Mel Clark, played by Tony Danza in the Angels in the Outfield remake, puts the team on his shoulders by throwing over 159 pitches to get the Angels into the playoffs after the heavenly angels can no longer help them.

I don't know about Sidd Finch. He's fictional but was just invented for a story as a prank.

tadashi fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Aug 7, 2014

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



How's our position on angels? Angels in the Outfield is pretty dreary in terms of living talent, but the supernatural talent should be pretty handy.

^--- thanks tadashi. haven't seen the movie in a while.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


tadashi posted:

Billy Young, played by Roy Scheider, was the veteran outfielder who turns his season around and leads the Tigers to the playoffs after being inspired by the main character in the made-for-TV movie Tiger Town. Need that veteran presence off the bench.

I never realized how many "aging vets with just a little left in the tank" there were!

OK, team's coming together. We're converting Vaughn back into a starter even though he really only has one plus-plus pitch, so our rotation is Nebraska/Vaughn/Clark/Finch.

Lineup:
Hernandez
Hooch
Ed
Mr. Go
Hobbs
Son of Mogh
Skrimshander
Davis
P

If someone can actually rewatch these and let me know if we need to flip them up so we're not stacked with righties (although I bet we are), that'd be going too far but also awesome.

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Aug 7, 2014

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

Thinking about Rookie of the Year, wasn't there a classic film where a kid gets a contract to pitch and then he loses his gift for some reason but the closing scene shows him punting a football an impossible distance (I'm just mentioning the football reference for context)? Maybe I have the plot wrong but it's something like this and I can't think of the title.

I would personally take Nuke over Crash from Bull Durham. Nuke being called up for a pennant drive suggests he has upside as a great closer or future middle rotation pitcher. (In reality, it's just the writers taking advantage of people having no idea how the minors work but :shrug:). You could use John C. Reily's character from For the Love of the Game as the backup catcher. I don't remember which side he hit from or anything. Just a suggestion.

tadashi fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Aug 7, 2014

Ammat The Ankh
Sep 7, 2010

Now, attempt to defeat me!
And I shall become a living legend!
Does the No 'real players playing themselves' rule include Michael Jordan in Space Jam?

Harlock
Jan 15, 2006

Tap "A" to drink!!!

TV Actor Team

C W. Earl Brown as Frick (Rookie of the Year)
1B Tom Sellick as Jack Elliot (Mr Baseball)
2B Wilmer Valderrama as Mickey "Domo" Dominguez (Summer Catch)
3B Rosie O' Donnell as Doris Murphy (A League of Their Own)
SS
OF Bernie Mac as Stan Ross (Mr. 3000)
OF Walton Goggins as Billy 'Downtown' Anderson (Major League 3)
OF

P Tony Danza as Mel Clark (Angels in the Outfield)
P Billy Dee Williams as Bingo Long (The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings)
P Jonathan Silverman as Jim Bowers (Little Big League)

Nobody ever plays SS.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Harlock posted:

OF Walton Goggins as Billy 'Downtown' Anderson (Major League 3)
OF
If you're gonna use an outfielder from Major League who's been a TV star, why not Pedro "President of the Goddamn United States on 24" Cerrano?

Ammat The Ankh posted:

Does the No 'real players playing themselves' rule include Michael Jordan in Space Jam?
I suppose Jordan was playing baseball in Space Jam, yes. But he was playing himself, so unfortunately he will need to be disqualified.

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Harlock posted:

TV Actor Team

C W. Earl Brown as Frick (Rookie of the Year)
1B Tom Sellick as Jack Elliot (Mr Baseball)
2B Wilmer Valderrama as Mickey "Domo" Dominguez (Summer Catch)
3B Rosie O' Donnell as Doris Murphy (A League of Their Own)
SS Corbin Bernsen as Roger Dorn
OF Bernie Mac as Stan Ross (Mr. 3000)
OF Walton Goggins as Billy 'Downtown' Anderson (Major League 3)
OF

P Tony Danza as Mel Clark (Angels in the Outfield)
P Billy Dee Williams as Bingo Long (The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings)
P Jonathan Silverman as Jim Bowers (Little Big League)

Nobody ever plays SS.

at least I think he played SS

Harlock
Jan 15, 2006

Tap "A" to drink!!!

The Shield and Justified are better than 24 will ever be.

If we were allowed duplicate players, I'd put Pedro. Pedro in twice. Mr. Baseball and Major League. Alternatively, Major League 1 2 and 3 Pedro

Tedd_Not_Ed
Feb 16, 2014

I've seen games go perfect for 12 innings all for naught. I've seen no-hitters pitched on illicit drugs. Homer streaks lasting eight games and 20 run losses. I've seen pennants won and seasons collapse. All these memories will be lost in time. Like tears in the rain.

Time to die.

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

at least I think he played SS

No he played 3B.

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

Has anybody seen How Do You Know? Is there any actually sports in it? They mention in the synopsis that Owen Wilson is a pitcher for the Nationals and Witherspoon is a former softball player but there's no position.

Additionally, there's no one from Bad News Bears but, if you're really going for best baseball player, I doubt any kids without celestial aid or freak accidents belong.

tadashi fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Aug 7, 2014

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


tadashi posted:

Additionally, there's no one from Bad News Bears but, if you're really going for best baseball player, I doubt any kids without celestial aid or freak accidents belong.

Buttermaker would be a fine assistant manager to Billy Heywood.

I do have Kelly Leak as org depth, though he's going to be in low-A until his voice drops at the least.

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Tedd_Not_Ed posted:

No he played 3B.

drat, you're right. It's not like he'd make a good converted shortstop with all that "Olé" poo poo.

MaximumBob
Jan 15, 2006

You're moving who to the bullpen?

tadashi posted:

Has anybody seen How Do You Know? Is there any actually sports in it? They mention in the synopsis that Owen Wilson is a pitcher for the Nationals and Witherspoon is a former softball player but there's no position.

Additionally, there's no one from Bad News Bears but, if you're really going for best baseball player, I doubt any kids without celestial aid or freak accidents belong.

I've seen it. I forget if Wilson is shown pitching but he's definitely shown in the bullpen or dugout. I think Witherspoon is shown taking grounders, maybe.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
If Sidd Finch is allowed, what about Kazuo Uzuki? Dude throws 104mph heat.

Ready! Set! Blow!
Jun 17, 2005

Red alert.
Another pitcher: Damon Rutherford. Would have had a nice career if he hadn't gotten killed by a pitch, too.

edit: Joe Hardy as a bench OF, too, unless he counts as superpowered.

edit again: Lou Proctor, pinch hitter. :v:

Ready! Set! Blow! fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Aug 7, 2014

ALFbrot
Apr 17, 2002
I nominate Roy "Lefty" Cobbs, for any position, from one Mathnet segment of Square One Television.

http://envisogon.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/mathnet-the-case-of-the-unnatural/

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



I was thinking if we were going to use someone from League of their Own, it should be Marla Hooch, who can play 2B and hits off anyone. But maybe I'm missing a more obvious pick: Jimmy Dugan. His knee may be bad, but he did hit over 500 homers (basically a fictitious version of Jimmie Foxx). That's worth something!

Dingleberry Jones
Jun 2, 2008
If I'm posting a new thread, it means there is a thread already posted and I failed at using the forum search correctly
It always ticked me off that the Peaches lost Marla Hooch and got basically zero return for Kit when they sent her out of town on a rail.

Yes, I AM pointlessly angered about a 20 year old movie.

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie
This is fun but why the gently caress isn't Kenny loving Powers the loving closer of this loving fantasy team. He'd rather quit and drive his truck off a cliff than be the setup man.

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp
Who's on first.

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?

MaximumBob posted:

Admittedly he's young and could use some time in the minors, but Henry Skrimshander could probably slide over from short to second and give you excellent defense.

Total headcase, stay away.

ALFbrot
Apr 17, 2002

Bob James posted:

Who's on first.

An enormous Korean gorilla

No, not Hee-Seop Choi

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Jose Oquendo posted:

This is fun but why the gently caress isn't Kenny loving Powers the loving closer of this loving fantasy team. He'd rather quit and drive his truck off a cliff than be the setup man.



Kenny Powers is just a man with a mind for pussy and an arm like a loving cannon, but even Powers never hit 102 on the gun from the outfield seats.

Plus he did roids when he was in NY.

The broken bones
Jan 3, 2008

Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.
Might want to think about Leon Carter for catcher since Crash Davis never really made it out of the big leagues.


and Henry Wiggen wouldn't be a bad 5th starter.

William T. Hornaday
Nov 26, 2007

Don't tap on the fucking glass!
I swear to god I'll cut off your fucking fingers and feed them to the otters for enrichment.

tadashi posted:

Additionally, there's no one from Bad News Bears but, if you're really going for best baseball player, I doubt any kids without celestial aid or freak accidents belong.

Everblight posted:

Bench/Org Depth: Kelly Leak

pseudodragon
Jun 16, 2007


Everblight posted:

So both Ed and Mr. Go are really 1B, but I moved Ed over to the hot corner based on Chimps having really strong arms, but I would really prefer him to be a DH for interleague and/or bench depth, if someone can recommend a real true 3B.

If we can find enough mashers, it might be interesting to bring in Jake Cisco to pitch instead of relying on Worf, Son of Mogh

If Sam Malone's pre-Cheers career counts, then Jimmy Dugan from A League of Their Own is a HOF masher at third, filling both these needs.

That leaves a hole at catcher since Dottie's out of C and Crash is a pretty bad player. He's a career 4A catcher who even at his peak was sub-replacement level so you can't project him out like you can for Bad News Bears kids/Jake Sisko.

Maybe replace Rick Vaughn with the rear end in a top hat catcher who got traded in Major League 2 since I can't think of another good catcher. Or replace him with Jake Taylor if you care about team chemistry since a washed up MLB journeyman catcher is still better than a washed up minor leaguer.

With Crash gone, Nuke can take Vaughn's spot since he's pretty much the same type of prospect Vaughn was at the start of the first Major League.

Then Billy Chapel from For the Love of the Game fills a starting rotation spot. The prime version gets you an ace or the end of career movie version could still hold a middle/back of the rotation innings eater. He also fills the Coster spot since a movie/baseball crossover without Costner is wrong.

pseudodragon fucked around with this message at 04:41 on Aug 8, 2014

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp
Wasn't that Ty Cobb movie based off a book that was entirely made up or something? Would this Ty Cobb count as a "fictional player"? I want Ty Cobb to get in a fight with his gorilla teammate.

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Dingleberry Jones
Jun 2, 2008
If I'm posting a new thread, it means there is a thread already posted and I failed at using the forum search correctly
If we are playing keeper leagues, I'd go Chip Roberts at catcher.

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