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drunken officeparty

see thread title

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vapoursquid

none other
you may have leprosy

Savage For The Winjun


u gotta marinate them first

Petr
just keep bein you

City of Glompton

someone who is not me please to make a comic of The Why Won't Girls, who keep touching OP much to his chagrin

Tevryr
there's probably an equation for this

Petr

Siluvayne posted:

someone who is not me please to make a comic of The Why Won't Girls, who keep touching OP much to his chagrin

Oh I see, you changed the clause structure of the topic to come up with a different semantic meaning for the same words, very clever

Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

it's because you don't have an avatar here use this

Tevryr

Bo-Pepper posted:

it's because you don't have an avatar here use this



woah

drunken officeparty

Bo-Pepper posted:

it's because you don't have an avatar here use this



idk i used to have this and girls still werent touching me



but then i lost it a while ago and what do i look like bill fricken gates to buy it back??

Afro Doug

Becuase you're hot, baby!

Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

drunken officeparty posted:

idk i used to have this and girls still werent touching me



but then i lost it a while ago and what do i look like bill fricken gates to buy it back??

yo man i don't make the rules if i have to look at you with just a name i can't even figure out what's happening it's like you're some crazy mummenschanz person

i am he

InterceptorV8

Loaded up and trucking.We gonna do what they say cant be done.
Shower.

WhenInRome
its because you have their hands chained to the wall

Tevryr
i want it..i need it...

beer pal


this is how i feel every day

FluffieDuckie

Bo-Pepper posted:

yo man i don't make the rules if i have to look at you with just a name i can't even figure out what's happening it's like you're some crazy mummenschanz person



this needs to be aved asap

Qwerinty

by zen death robot

FluffieDuckie posted:

this needs to be aved asap

i would 'ave that av if allowed

Moo Cowabunga

[Office Worker.




drunken officeparty posted:

see thread title

wife caught a glimpse of this thread title and said that you sound like a timid little baby who should just be yourself which i pointed out that yourself might be a timid little baby and she got in a huff and walked away so thanks OP something that was none of my business or ***MY WOMAN***'s business now has affected my life thanks a lot

drunken officeparty

Displeased Moo Cow posted:

wife caught a glimpse of this thread title and said that you sound like a timid little baby who should just be yourself which i pointed out that yourself might be a timid little baby and she got in a huff and walked away so thanks OP something that was none of my business or ***MY WOMAN***'s business now has affected my life thanks a lot

will she touch me

ron color

Qwerinty posted:

i would 'ave that av if allowed

this is an official dibs

FluffieDuckie

ron color posted:

this is an official dibs

Tevryr said he wanted it.

i don't know if that's like "i want it but i'm not going to do anything about it, or i want it and i'm working with my team of internet experts to size it and purchase it now"

Petr
Is it because you're not toilet trained? That would be a good reason for them not to touch you.

Qwerinty

by zen death robot
I mostly just wanted to go " 'ave ". That would look so weird resized to 150px wide

ron color
O K no one gets anything nice now !!!

joke_explainer


What is any kind of touching about? Having a connection with someone you find interesting, you're curious about, people that look or appeal to you in some way. You want to touch and be touched. As a young adult, it almost happens automatically, you're all curious and often bored and in situations conducive to the exploration of contact with all the other strange entities you share the world and immediate experiences with. When you get older, and are exploring outside of a group with immediate context to your life and situation, you should strive for authenticity without being lazy. Be active and have at least some non-superfluous leisure that increases you as a person when you do it. That can be just about anything, but just sitting around doing nothing... that's a hard sell, basically.

If you have interests, passions, and friends, people who want to touch you will be found. If you don't have those things, that's something to work on. Maybe you feel like you don't really like anything? That happens to everybody. You should try to try more things. Even if you never find anything super amazing, continuing to try new things will grow you into someone more interesting than you are now. The worst thing you can do is just obsess over getting some kind of intimate contact. It just speaks of incredible desperation. Just establish your own self as an interesting, dynamic person, with at least enough stability to not make people worried about you, and find friends, people that you can relate to, talk to, get to know and understand on varying levels. I have no idea how to directly address people to get them to want to touch you, but it's just something that organically happens.

thewizardofshoe

Dennis Rasmussen posted:

What is any kind of touching about? Having a connection with someone you find interesting, you're curious about, people that look or appeal to you in some way. You want to touch and be touched. As a young adult, it almost happens automatically, you're all curious and often bored and in situations conducive to the exploration of contact with all the other strange entities you share the world and immediate experiences with. When you get older, and are exploring outside of a group with immediate context to your life and situation, you should strive for authenticity without being lazy. Be active and have at least some non-superfluous leisure that increases you as a person when you do it. That can be just about anything, but just sitting around doing nothing... that's a hard sell, basically.

If you have interests, passions, and friends, people who want to touch you will be found. If you don't have those things, that's something to work on. Maybe you feel like you don't really like anything? That happens to everybody. You should try to try more things. Even if you never find anything super amazing, continuing to try new things will grow you into someone more interesting than you are now. The worst thing you can do is just obsess over getting some kind of intimate contact. It just speaks of incredible desperation. Just establish your own self as an interesting, dynamic person, with at least enough stability to not make people worried about you, and find friends, people that you can relate to, talk to, get to know and understand on varying levels. I have no idea how to directly address people to get them to want to touch you, but it's just something that organically happens.

Goons Are Gifts

I'm more into guys anyways. You should try it as well, op

joke_explainer


also, try looking really good and having a huge dick. it will at least make u confident

thewizardofshoe

Wash your dilz

thewizardofshoe

non-heteronormative response: wash your vag

Ghouligan
Non gender specific response: wash

ulvir

Hands On Research: The Science of Touch
By Dacher Keltner | September 29, 2010 | 3 Comments
Dacher Keltner explains how compassion is literally at our fingertips.
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Greater Good‘s latest video features our executive editor, Dacher Keltner, on the science of touch. Here, he elaborates on cutting-edge research into the ways everyday forms of touch can bring us emotional balance and better health.
A pat on the back, a caress of the arm—these are everyday, incidental gestures that we usually take for granted, thanks to our amazingly dexterous hands.

Brian Jackson
But after years spent immersed in the science of touch, I can tell you that they are far more profound than we usually realize: They are our primary language of compassion, and a primary means for spreading compassion.
In recent years, a wave of studies has documented some incredible emotional and physical health benefits that come from touch. This research is suggesting that touch is truly fundamental to human communication, bonding, and health.
In my own lab, in a study led by my former student Matt Hertenstein (now a professor at DePauw University), we asked whether humans can clearly communicate compassion through touch.
Here’s what we did: We built a barrier in our lab that separated two strangers from each other. One person stuck his or her arm through the barrier and waited. The other person was given a list of emotions, and he or she had to try to convey each emotion through a one-second touch to the stranger’s forearm. The person whose arm was being touched had to guess the emotion.
Given the number of emotions being considered, the odds of guessing the right emotion by chance were about eight percent. But remarkably, participants guessed compassion correctly nearly 60 percent of the time. Gratitude, anger, love, fear—they got those right more than 50 percent of the time as well.
We had various gender combinations in the study, and I feel obligated to disclose two gender differences we found: When a woman tried to communicate anger to a man, he got zero right—he had no idea what she was doing. And when a man tried to communicate compassion to a woman, she didn’t know what was going on!
But obviously, there’s a bigger message here than “men are from Mars and women are from Venus.” Touch provides its own language of compassion, a language that is essential to what it means to be human.
In fact, in other research I’ve found that people can not only identify love, gratitude, and compassion from touches but can differentiate between those kinds of touch, something people haven’t done as well in studies of facial and vocal communication.


“To touch is to give life”
Regrettably, though, some Western cultures are pretty touch-deprived, and this is especially true of the United States.
Ethologists who live in different parts world quickly recognize this. Nonhuman primates spend about 10 to 20 percent of their waking day grooming each other. If you go to various other countries, people spend a lot of time in direct physical contact with one another—much more than we do.
This has been well-documented. One of my favorite examples is a study from the 1960s by pioneering psychologist Sidney Jourard, who studied the conversations of friends in different parts of the world as they sat in a café together. He observed these conversations for the same amount of time in each of the different countries.
What did he find? In England, the two friends touched each other zero times. In the United States, in bursts of enthusiasm, we touched each other twice.
More on Touch

Check out this research on the positive effect of touch in schools, and learn how important touch is in communicating positive emotions.
But in France, the number shot up to 110 times per hour. And in Puerto Rico, those friends touched each other 180 times!
Of course, there are plenty of good reasons why people are inclined to keep their hands to themselves, especially in a society as litigious as ours. But other research has revealed what we lose when we hold back too much.
The benefits start from the moment we’re born. A review of research, conducted by Tiffany Field, a leader in the field of touch, found that preterm newborns who received just three 15-minute sessions of touch therapy each day for 5-10 days gained 47 percent more weight than premature infants who’d received standard medical treatment.
Similarly, research by Darlene Francis and Michael Meaney has found that rats whose mothers licked and groomed them a lot when they were infants grow up to be calmer and more resilient to stress, with a stronger immune system. This research sheds light on why, historically, an overwhelming percentage of humans babies in orphanages where caretakers starved them of touch have failed to grow to their expected height or weight, and have shown behavioral problems.
“To touch can be to give life,” said Michelangelo, and he was absolutely right.
From this frontier of touch research, we know thanks to neuroscientist Edmund Rolls that touch activates the brain’s orbitofrontal cortex, which is linked to feelings of reward and compassion.

We also know that touch builds up cooperative relationships—it reinforces reciprocity between our primate relatives, who use grooming to build up cooperative alliances.
There are studies showing that touch signals safety and trust, it soothes. Basic warm touch calms cardiovascular stress. It activates the body’s vagus nerve, which is intimately involved with our compassionate response, and a simple touch can trigger release of oxytocin, aka “the love hormone.”
In a study by Jim Coan and Richard Davidson, participants laying in an fMRI brain scanner, anticipating a painful blast of white noise, showed heightened brain activity in regions associated with threat and stress. But participants whose romantic partner stroked their arm while they waited didn’t show this reaction at all. Touch had turned off the threat switch.
Touch can even have economic effects, promoting trust and generosity. When psychologist Robert Kurzban had participants play the “prisoner’s dilemma” game, in which they could choose either to cooperate or compete with a partner for a limited amount of money, an experimenter gently touched some of the participants as they were starting to play the game—just a quick pat on the back. But it made a big difference: Those who were touched were much more likely to cooperate and share with their partner.
These kinds of benefits can pop up in unexpected places: In a recent study out of my lab, published in the journal Emotion we found that, in general, NBA basketball teams whose players touch each other more win more games.
Touch therapies
Given all these findings, it only makes sense to think up ways to incorporate touch into different form of therapy.
“Touch therapy” or “massage therapy” may sound like some weird Berkeley idea, but it’s got hard science on its side. It’s not just good for our muscles; it’s good for our entire physical and mental health.
Proper uses of touch truly have the potential to transform the practice of medicine—and they’re cost effective to boot. For example, studies show that touching patients with Alzheimer’s disease can have huge effects on getting them to relax, make emotional connections with others, and reduce their symptoms of depression.
Tiffany Field has found that massage therapy reduces pain in pregnant women and alleviates prenatal depression—in the women and their spouses alike. Research here at UC Berkeley’s School of Public Health has found that getting eye contact and a pat on the back from a doctor may boost survival rates of patients with complex diseases.
And educators, take note: A study by French psychologist Nicolas Gueguen has found that when teachers pat students in a friendly way, those students are three times as likely to speak up in class. Another recent study has found that when librarians pat the hand of a student checking out a book, that student says he or she likes the library more—and is more likely to come back.
Touch can even be a therapeutic way to reach some of the most challenging children: Some research by Tiffany Field suggests that children with autism, widely believed to hate being touched, actually love being massaged by a parent or therapist.
This doesn’t mean you should turn around and grope your neighbor or invade the personal space of everyone around you.
But to me, the science of touch convincingly suggests that we’re wired to—we need to—connect with other people on a basic physical level. To deny that is to deprive ourselves of some of life’s greatest joys and deepest comforts.

Goons Are Gifts

You basically ruined it, ulvir, even though that was quite impressive

tight shorts

Nobnob posted:

You basically ruined it, ulvir, even though that was quite impressive

i didn't read it so it's still alive for me at least

Goons Are Gifts

Keep on the hope TypicalPickle, this is now yours

verily carefree

drunken officeparty posted:

idk i used to have this and girls still werent touching me



but then i lost it a while ago and what do i look like bill fricken gates to buy it back??

eat the sock

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drunken officeparty

warroar posted:

eat the sock

: (

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