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*dude walks in five minutes late wearing jeans faded at the calves and crotch. whips off sunglasses and blazer* "'Sup, folks, I'm Dave and I'll be leading you through the wild world of math this semester. Just call me Dave, none of that "professor" crap in here. Math is wild, it plays by its own rules. Luckily so do I." *sits on the edge of the desk* "So this is my first semester at this school. Anybody know what bars are good around here?" *raises hand, nobody responds* "It's all good, it's all good. But, hey, math can be scary. I was in college once too, you know. Not too long ago either, ha! But seriously, please let me know if I can help you at all this semester. My office door is always open." *flashes wolfish smile at sorority girl in the fifth row*
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Aug 31, 2014 22:14
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*drops chalk on floor* *bends over to pick it up* *waves butt at crowd* *lets loose a massive fart* *shits everywhere* *poo poo is labeled 'this thread'*
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Aug 31, 2014 22:15
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/me sets aside beret, scarf
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Aug 31, 2014 22:16
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Why yes, this is stone cold steve austin airbrushed on the back of my leather jacket--I'm old school like that *lights pipe*
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Aug 31, 2014 22:16
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Concerned Citizen posted:*drops chalk on floor* *bends over to pick it up* *waves butt at crowd* *lets loose a massive fart* *shits everywhere* *poo poo is labeled 'this thread'* not so cool, friend
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Aug 31, 2014 22:16
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Hi I'm a surprisingly hot 35 year old blonde woman with pigtails, I'll be cucking my husband with a half dozen of you this semester and then act devastated when he divorces me, garnering sympathy while simultaneously blowing male staff members to help get on a tenure track before my crow's feet etch thenselves any deeper. PS this is how the real world works, that will be $40,000 thanks
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Aug 31, 2014 22:19
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naem posted:Hi I'm a surprisingly hot 35 year old blonde woman with pigtails, I'll be cucking my husband with a half dozen of you this semester and then act devastated when he divorces me, garnering sympathy while simultaneously blowing male staff members to help get on a tenure track before my crow's feet etch thenselves any deeper. PS this is how the real world works, that will be $40,000 thanks art school?
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Aug 31, 2014 22:20
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*sits on top of desk, indian style while giving lecture*
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Aug 31, 2014 22:22
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*writes plape on whiteboard and leaves*
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Aug 31, 2014 22:22
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sorry students, i'm trying to finish writing this important mathematical formula but it's hard to reach up high with this leather jacket on *drops leather jacket to reveal leather jacket with the rock airbrushed on the back* if you smell what i'm cooking
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Aug 31, 2014 22:22
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No no I'm not loving this grad student, it's just that they spend an awful lot of time alone with me in the office with the door locked
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Aug 31, 2014 22:23
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The Hissing Butt posted:*dude walks in five minutes late wearing jeans faded at the calves and crotch. whips off sunglasses and blazer* ugh dave the adjunct intermediate math professor is a creep
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Aug 31, 2014 22:23
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plumper fuckbus posted:ugh dave the adjunct intermediate math professor is a creep i know, right?
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Aug 31, 2014 22:24
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Rad Tad posted:if you smell what i'm cooking it's meth by the way, methematics
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Aug 31, 2014 22:24
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5'4", bald on top, ring of white hair with long ponytail in back, can draw a perfect circle in one motion on the chalkboard 5'10", little white moustache, also bald on top, ring of white hair, new pair of Chuck Taylor's every day to match his outfit
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Aug 31, 2014 22:28
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as someone without a university education i find this thread inaccessible
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Aug 31, 2014 22:34
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Baracula posted:as someone without a university education i find this thread inaccessible imagine if your high school drama teacher wasn't a pedo
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Aug 31, 2014 22:35
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Welcum to Posting 101...you're about to get SCHOOLED
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Aug 31, 2014 22:38
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okay okay lets all just settle down class. I want to take a moment to welcome you.. to Jurassic Park. *slowly unzips pants while humming JP theme*
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Aug 31, 2014 22:38
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Supreme Allah posted:okay okay lets all just settle down class. I want to take a moment to welcome you.. "Clever girl!"
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Aug 31, 2014 22:39
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the name on your study materials says "professor brunswick", but i want each and every one of you to call me chad
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Aug 31, 2014 22:41
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Remember that one class you took where one insufferable loving jackass kept piping up with the worst questions CONSTANTLY during lectures and people literally moaned when it kept happening? I'm the professor that refuses to just fail the kid and keeps addressing the questions.
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Aug 31, 2014 22:41
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class, since the semester is almost over, I wanted to point out that there are opportunities for extra credit. you just have to come by my office to see the details. please bring a valid ID. see you on wednesday!
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Aug 31, 2014 22:43
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im gay
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Aug 31, 2014 22:47
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*sets skateboard down on desk*
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Aug 31, 2014 22:48
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i have a gun
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Aug 31, 2014 22:48
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Hello class. *climbs on desk* I wanted..ugh..to thank you... *kneels down on all fours* For turning in your assignments last...week *begins taking off grey dress slacks, untucking shirt, tie hangs freely* Each paper was more...stimulating than the last, with some...ugh...obvious exceptions, of course *smiles, now nude from the waist down, circles about on the desk, ends with rear end facing the class. Lowers into downward dog position* Some of you....have...caught wind of...my... predilictions *produces glass coke bottle from desk drawer* And...I just want you and your parents to know *feebly begins trying to insert the bottle into his anus* Ah!...aaaaahh....that we *takes it neck deep* aaahh..uhhh..value your continued tutelage here.. *starts thrusting* At...state.
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Aug 31, 2014 22:53
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*two students are disrespectfully chatting during the lecture, talking about weed milk and the proper way to make it* *third voice joins them at some point, talking about how to get the dankest weed milk* *third voice was me, the professor, who somehow started sitting directly behind the first 2 without anyone noticing* *double middle fingers slowly rising up from behind ea. seat with a wide grin visible between as the 2 come to a slow realization and turn around*
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Aug 31, 2014 22:55
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a hole-y ghost posted:*two students are disrespectfully chatting during the lecture, talking about weed milk and the proper way to make it* Harold and Kumar go to Community College
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Aug 31, 2014 22:58
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Hey guys and ghouls *waits for laughter, no one laughs.* This class is really gonna be a scream *waits for laughter, no laughter.*
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Aug 31, 2014 23:01
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id just rip massive shots of bourbon from the flask i kept on my desk and play "volcano" starring tommy lee jones every day (dantes peak on fridasys)
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Aug 31, 2014 23:02
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Philosophy lecturer *first slide of slideshow on Kant's metaphysics is doge* *leaves on first slide for entire lecture*
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Aug 31, 2014 23:03
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Quickscope420dad posted:Philosophy lecturer *reads entire lyrics to his parody "Just Kant get you out of my head"*
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Aug 31, 2014 23:06
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Big Beef City posted:Harold and Kumar go to Community College e: there are a lot of hotboxes to be found all hours of the day on community college parking lots lol
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Aug 31, 2014 23:15
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...and if you have a question, raise your hand and say "yo, mista"
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Sep 1, 2014 02:19
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*sits in his car in between classes and drinks vodka from a plastic bottle while staring at his dashboard*
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Sep 1, 2014 02:34
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*Just walked in the door and already has decided which hot coeds I'll be banging*
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Sep 1, 2014 02:35
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Everybody get a A!
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Sep 1, 2014 02:38
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Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:Everybody get a A! but the hotties get the D. lol.
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Sep 1, 2014 02:44
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 13:22 |
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*an 80 year old man walks in with overhead slides from 30 years ago* hello class I have tenure and it is literally impossible for me to be fired *opens up an art book and looks at tasteful nudes until next period*
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Sep 1, 2014 02:47
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