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Daned
Jan 14, 2008

A. The Omnissiah is one of the creators of radiation, and we dont need the fleshy bits anyways.

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Azhais
Feb 5, 2007
Switchblade Switcharoo
A.

A little radiation never hurt anybody

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



The votes are pleasingly close thus far:

a x x x x x x
b x x x x x
c x x
d x x
e x x x x x

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

FireSight posted:

E

We won't cut directly through the radiation, but we WILL cut the corner. We have more machine parts than them, so we can deal with higher rad levels. That means we don't have to travel as far. AND, we can launch the dog THROUGH the rad zone and pick him up on the other side, giving us a temporary speed boost by not having his weight. This will throw the others off because our performance profile suddenly changes!

Also, this gives us time to put our thumb on our nose and waggle our fingers at them as we pass them.

This makes almost no sense and therefore gets my vote

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

B!

Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.
E. We serve the inquisition, we're contractually obligated to make our plans as convoluted and nonsensical as possible, plus it's good practice for when we inevitable fall to Tzeentch-worship.

AmyL
Aug 8, 2013


Black Thursday was a disaster, plain and simple.
We lost too many good people, too many planes.
We can't let that kind of tragedy happen again.
A. No special reason!

Ralith
Jan 12, 2011

I see a ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasn't for your misfortune
I'd be a heavenly person today
E The complicated plan, because this isn't ridiculous enough yet.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
B!

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



a x x x x x x x
b x x x x x x x
c x x
d x x
e x x x x x x x x

You are killing me here. A three way tie? :suspense:

Loel fucked around with this message at 23:46 on Aug 28, 2014

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
You are contractually obligated to merge the options.

chin up everything sucks
Jan 29, 2012

Outrail posted:

You are contractually obligated to merge the options.

Thats what option E -is-

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

LowellDND posted:

a x x x x x x x
b x x x x x x x
c x x
d x x
e x x x x x x x x

You are killing me here. A three way tie? :suspense:
I am changing my vote from B to A!

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

by Fluffdaddy
Changing from C to B :whip:

MaliciousOnion
Sep 23, 2009

Ignorance, the root of all evil
I'm changing my vote from B to A, then back to B, before finally settling on E.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Obviously this means one of the losing options wins doesn't it?

Xun
Apr 25, 2010

UGH changing vote from D to E

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003
Voting B

White Noise Marine
Apr 14, 2010

Voting A.

chin up everything sucks
Jan 29, 2012

And the vote remains a dead heat! Oh dear.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Use the chain arms of our servitor to grapple the vote.

AmyL
Aug 8, 2013


Black Thursday was a disaster, plain and simple.
We lost too many good people, too many planes.
We can't let that kind of tragedy happen again.

FireSight posted:

And the vote remains a dead heat! Oh dear.

A dead heat you say? No, it will Be murdertime funtime!

Switching my vote from A to B

generally I prefer
Apr 17, 2006

Is voting still open? Can I throw one more on B?

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
Voting for mix of A,B and E.

Whatever it ends up being.

crowtribe
Apr 2, 2013

I'm noice, therefore I am.
Grimey Drawer
I just want to feel involved.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Dear LowelDnD,

Even though several players have very transparently tried to tie the vote on the purpose, this game is very fun.

And we love you.

If you are feeling discouraged, we are eagerly awaiting the next update! Every option for this vote rocks and any of them pleasing would be great.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Sep 3, 2014

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
What dio said. This is a great game, loving the vibe it's got.

Also changing my vote from E to A, because I want to see the catastrophe that happens when we try everything at once.

Obscil
Feb 28, 2012

PLEASE LIKE ME!
Please don't stop this thread. It's really good and I've been enjoying it so far.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






I just caught up with this thread yesterday and it's very entertaining, I love the space hulk setting and that in the grim dark future there are only wacky races on the back of cyberzombie slaves :rice: Please keep going!

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
I think we broke him with our tie vote antics. Could just be the normal curse of the CYOA though. Start one and things are bound to crazy in your life.

Whatever it is I hope it continues. The flavor is really cool.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


The thread must continue, the gods of chaos goons must be satisfied. :cenobite:

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Hey all! Thanks everyone for the encouraging replies, Ive been stalling trying to make sure I give you guys a worthy post, but my brain has been uncooperative. Labor day weekend, you know how it goes.

I've got my War40k music (HMKids) jamming on my new headset, so Im sure Ill be struck by something soon.

edit: As an aside, Im surprised no one clicked the Hymn of the Machine God in the previous post. It amused me to no end.

Loel fucked around with this message at 08:26 on Sep 4, 2014

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

This worked totally fine the last time you did this, you swear.

Emperor save you, the Lord-Sire is going to be pissed....

Right. Okay. You can explain.

You were on the second lap of the race Between. You weren’t held back by the frailties of flesh, needing to worry about pressure and high-G blackouts, or speeds that tear the flesh from your face, or events that happen at the microsecond. Your servitor has been well trained for environmental conditions like that, and your internal machine-spirit was guiding your every action.

So you decided to cut the corner on the radiation pivot. Perfectly reasonable, every Tech-Priest does it at one time or another. Sometimes it can be rough on the humans who haven’t made the transition to machine yet, but there’s billions more where they came from. Machines are much harder to reproduce, but fortunately they are much harder to damage too. So the radiation pivot. Right.

To increase the acceleration on your turn, you fired off the passenger pod where your cyber-mastiff could move in to attack. Well, not officially attack, thats against most race rules, but helpfully maul their machinery and distract them, maybe crash them into something. You targeted Jeb on the Blue Team, expecting his vehicle to be less structurally sound. That might have been a bad idea, in retrospect. But you did get a sweet spin from it, spiralling between the two target vehicles in the middle of their jump. You could swear the Omnissiah himself blessed the action with a lensflare.

Which totally means what happened next was justifiable and not reason for your spacing. You’re pretty sure the Magos will hold to that part of your case, anyway.

Jeb from Blue Team spiralled off the track in a massive set of exploding jets, engines, and fuel. It probably killed a few dozen or few hundred people in the audience, but that was well within the parameters for industrial accidents on a ship this size anyway. No one would notice that part, and neither would you, really.

No, the problem more so was when he crashed into one of the promethium bays, igniting them. And some of the Cyclone Torpedo storage units. Which were now detonating and/or rolling towards you, with the anticipation of detonating as well. Their warheads looked pretty well dented and on fire, anyway. Your machine-spirit is yammering in terror, shrieking at a binary pace, detailing the blast wave that is approaching. Cubic hectometers of machinery, debris, ignited promethium, and explosions are heading in your general direction.

It’s hard to tell, exactly. The dizziness from the radiation isn’t really helping right now.

Do you

A) Follow Red-5. He seems to know where hes going (the other side of the ship, which conveniently has the finish line and is far away from this wall of death it is approaching you). You can worry about getting ahead of him later, the important thing is getting away from here now

B) You recognize this part of the ship, actually. It’s near some of the core districts. You could breach the interior hull, drive through the dregs, and exit the other side. It would involve crushing several dozen people and their houses, as well as opening the interior to this blast wave, but you would be well ahead in the race.

C) The answer is always death from above. You have two repulsor pods left; you could use them to go above and around the racetrack and the core of the ship, landing on Red-5 with great prejudice. The impact alone should knock him out if not turn him to jelly, giving you the victory.

D) Add to the debris field. With some effort, you might be able to grab and redirect one of the torpedoes, detonating it somewhere near the end of the track. With some timing and some luck, you could have it explode right as Red-5 gets close, allowing you to cross the finish line at your leisure.

E) Something else

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

by Fluffdaddy
A :shepface:

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
:shepicide:

E - Do anything you can to prevent a chain explosion. Those are loving cyclone torpedoes, there won't be a ship to finish the race on if they all go off inside the ship.

Do try to do it in a way that won't completely take us out of the race.

Serpentis
May 31, 2011

Well, if I really HAVE to shoot you in the bollocks to shut you up, then I guess I'll need to, post-haste, for everyone else's sake.
Oh, wow.

E - Do your best to stop that explosion while continuing the race. And if it happens anyway and we're one of the few survivors drifting in space thanks to being a Tech-Priest, blame Jeb.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
D

"While I do feel it very unfortunate that Jeb set off this disaster by carelessly losing control of his vehicle (I truly thought him a better driver or would not have allowed him in the race), and this looks very bad for the Blue Team as a result, I do confess I feel much worse about the stray torpedo that took out the Red Team. That was a truly unfortunate consequence of Jeb's incompetence. I do hope in light of this disaster and my clear victory that my judgment on the Batteries will be implemented within the hour. Thank you for your obedience in this matter."

How much did we win?

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


my dad posted:

:shepicide:

E - Do anything you can to prevent a chain explosion. Those are loving cyclone torpedoes, there won't be a ship to finish the race on if they all go off inside the ship.

Do try to do it in a way that won't completely take us out of the race.

The sacred vessel of the omnissiah must be preserved!

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree

Serpentis posted:

Oh, wow.

E - Do your best to stop that explosion while continuing the race. And if it happens anyway and we're one of the few survivors drifting in space thanks to being a Tech-Priest, blame Jeb.

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Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.
D, but blame Jeb

For the entirely OOC reason that this is Dark Heresy, and a TPK by cyclone torpedo during the first social encounter of the game is a great introduction to the system for any not familiar with it.

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