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Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod. This is suddenly terrifying. Okay. I have the save. It is on.
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Sep 16, 2014 12:23
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 From the records of symuun Cloisteredattic, Farmer, Overseer 1st Granite, 551 Now, I ain't the kind of dwarf to go around criticisin' nobles. I'm just a humble planter, me, and buggered if I know what moves the mind of a Queen or a Baron or a Law-Giver. But I calls things as I sees 'em, and when I looks out of our front door, I sees a miserable little swamp with a river that stinks to high hell. And when I looks inside, I sees a bunch of rough stone walls, half-empty stockpiles and a Great Hall that ain't even worthy of the name. So I don't know why the hell we got sent out to this place, nor 'zactly what we're supposed to achieve now we're here. Fogwall, huh? More like Fog... uh... hole. I dunno, I ain't one o' them fancy wordsmiths what sits in towers and writes books all day. Just a humble planter, me. And now, Overseer. Now, I don't blame that young DannyGlands for any of this, he's done what he can with a rough start. But this ain't a proper fortress yet, no sir. Not by a long shot. So I guess now it's my job to see what I can do about that. Good news is, we ain't about to starve or thirst or go mad from a lack o' bedrooms. Basic necessities, they're all taken care of. But a true fortress, well, that ain't about basics. A true dwarf longs for a life of excess. Fine craftworks, wealth, legendary warriors. Everythin' that gives honour to the goddesses Dur and Sazir. And right now, if you'll pardon my Elvish, we ain't got poo poo.  Let's start with this front door. It's a disgrace. Know how I know that? Because it ain't a goddamn door! It's a great big hole for the sun to shine in through, and that ain't no good at all. What'd happen if a goblin ambush party came along with a couple o' trolls right now? Hmm? They'd break through what flimsy barricades we have got and come slaughterin' us all. An' here's us with no functionin' military. What're you all gonna do, punch 'em like you say you punched that alligator to death? Uh huh. Sure you did. I'm gonna put a drawbridge here, somethin' that'll actually keep us safe when the hordes of death descend upon us, and since none of you useless layabouts claims to know the first thing about mechanics, I guess I'm buildin' it meself. And once that's done, we'll get our miners workin' on some exploratory digs. A proper fortress needs metal, and that handful o' platinum pebbles we found ain't nearly enough for my liking. 3rd Granite, 551  Well, poo poo. Fuckin' called it, though, didn't I? Five goblins. Two lashers, a spearman, a hammerman and a crossbowman. Okay, uh... change of plans. Forget about the bridge. Everyone get the hell inside, lock the doors, and take stock of the situation. What've we actually got for defendin' ourselves with?  Huh. That's... well, it's better than I'd expected. Barely. Okay. Ghostwoods reckons he's the strongest dwarf among us, so congratulations Ghostwoods - you're our new Militia Commander. You get one of the axes. Le_Squide is pretty tough, which he says is different from bein' strong, but okay, he gets an axe as well. I don't think picks are exactly regulation weapons, but our miners Darth Various and Grey Hunter are the only ones who even know which end to hold, so they go into the military as well. Dwarves of Fogwall, I give you... The Tin Bells! Our untrained, unarmoured, four-dwarf militia. Our only hope against the goblin menace. May Onul Mistyauras have mercy on our miserable souls. Grey Hunter and Darth Various tell me they have to go pick up their equipment before they can fight. What goddamn equipment, I ask them. They've already got the picks they've been using to mine with. No, they says, proper procedure says they have to store their picks in the stockpile, because those ain't weapons. Then they have to pick the picks back up again, and now they're allowed to use them to fight with. Okay. Fine. At least they're actually acknowledging the existence of their weapons, which is better than Le_Squide can manage. Announcing that there is definitely only one battle axe in the entire fortress, so there's nothin' he can possibly do, he lies down and goes to sleep. Whatever. The three of you what ain't cowards, then, go out and give these goblins a kickin'. And lock the door behind you.  Wait... how many goblins did you say?  There were def'nitely not that many when they first got here. Change of plans, lads. Back inside. Maybe we'll not engage them all at once, yeah?  The recruits wait just behind the front door. We can hear our animals screamin' in pain outside.  Nothin' we can do for 'em now. 16th Granite, 551 They've kept up this siege for near on two weeks now. We could be gettin' migrants soon, or traders. It don't sit right with me to risk the lives of the dwarves I share my home with, but there could be an awful lot more arrivin' soon, and I owe it to them to try something. Maybe we can take them a few at a time? I unlock the door. Through the keyhole, Le_Squide shouts, "COOO-EEEE!" The goblins come.  gently caress me, that's actually quite a lot of goblins. Maybe I'll just... yeah... just lock this door again. The goblins rattle the handles, bu they're not getting in. Le_Squide waves to 'em. The other dwarves, the armed ones, they grip their weapons a little more tightly. 20th Granite, 551 They're still there. In the hallway. Snarling, pacing, watching the doors. There's too many of 'em for a fair fight. Let's try something else. Tin Bells... stand down. Let's get clever about these bastards. 25th Granite, 551 If only I'd been able to build that bridge in time. Mechanics, mechanics, aye, that's the key... Carpenters! New work orders! Maximum priority!  Meanwhile, Le_Squide is taken by a powerful psychic premonition, he says. He's our baron now, he says. How the gently caress does he know that, I says, we're under siege from a small army of goblins so no messengers can get through and what's more, he's a militiadwarf what still can't even find his own drat battle axe. It's a noble thing, he says. You wouldn't understand, he says. Also, if I wouldn't mind sorting out some more suitable quarters for him now... Sure. You betcha, Your Baronship. I'll get right on that. Any day now. Not like there's any more pressin' concerns to deal with right now... ----- (Well, I'd hoped to cover more time in my first update, but I wasn't counting on an invasion *quite* so soon. Don't panic - I do have a plan. I think.) Wordbird Raven fucked around with this message at 11:23 on Sep 17, 2014 |
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Sep 16, 2014 16:03
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Well that sure is a rough start if I've ever seen one
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Sep 16, 2014 16:17
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Wow that tilted over fast.
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Sep 16, 2014 16:20
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I'm hooked already
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Sep 16, 2014 16:21
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This is amazing. I wonder how hard everyone is going to bite it. No weapons or armor is tough. Should have slaughtered those horses straightaway.
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Sep 16, 2014 16:24
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Well, there goes the poo poo, it is approaching the fan...and collision detected. So, what's the plan now? Panic? Mine? Hope a caravan shows up and has a small army with it?
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Sep 16, 2014 16:29
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Dammit! So close to becoming a Baron! At least if I survive the seige I'm going to be on my way to being the Fortress badass!
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Sep 16, 2014 16:34
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Just send everyone out as cannonfodder. This generation of dwarfes managed to do a good job, but they have to pave the way for the future with their blood.
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Sep 16, 2014 16:38
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My brother is the big DF player of the family (Im just the big LP reader) and he thinks your plan has something to do with Large Serrated Disks behind doors.
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Sep 16, 2014 16:44
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Pyroi posted:Well, there goes the poo poo, it is approaching the fan...and collision detected. Nah. Spoiler'd for anyone who wants to keep mechanics a secret. Caravans and migrants won't come while you're in the SIEGE state. This siege is a bug, in this version if the goblin civ can't find thieves/snatchers to scout things the first couple years, they will send a military squad instead. The SIEGE breaks on it's own after a couple months or so, so you can just lock your doors, go about your business inside. They will kill any livestock you had pastured outside, and you miss out on that season's caravan, but it isn't a crippling loss.
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Sep 16, 2014 16:47
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How weird is it that the first year bugs actually happened at the start of the second year? Too bad we can't make large glass sawblades, since the sand collection zone is on the wrong end of the elbow doors.
Danny Glands fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Sep 16, 2014 |
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Sep 16, 2014 18:32
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Danny Glands posted:How weird is it that the first year bugs actually happened at the start of the second year? Too bad we can't make large glass sawblades, since the sand collection zone is on the wrong end of the elbow doors. that's not really a problem, dig a new passageway leading to just before outside and make a new zone in the dug out sand? e: heck, pretty sure there's sand on the level below/above as well.
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Sep 16, 2014 22:14
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 From the Diary of 'Ghostwoods' Wonderedhalls, Fogwall outpost. 25th Granite 551. Well. Damned if I know what all that was about. I was trying to explain the challenges of slicing Elephant-cheese to that old farmer, Symuun, when he dashed off. I was still getting over my surprise at that when he dashed back again, this time with a bloody great big axe. "Grab this, lad," he said, and pressed it into my hands. I did my best to point out that you really don't want an axe for cheese. Not enough precision, see. Too weighty, too... well... axey. You don't want mangle-cheese now, do you? 'Course not. Anyway, did he listen? Did he buggery. The old coot shot off somewhere else, came back with a couple of girls, and told me I was in charge! That's not so bad, having a pair of 70-somethings looking up to me. I'm a married dwarf of course, but there's nothing wrong with looking, even if one of 'em seems depressed, and the other one's a bit slow. That's miners for you, though. Too wrapped up in stone. No connection to the things that matter, like rotting milk. From then on, it was all "Stand here!", "Go out the door!", "Come back in the door!", "Go out again!", "Come back in again!", and so on, for over three weeks now. Can't make his bloody mind up, the poor old sod. He said something about goblins, but that's a ridiculous idea. Who under the earth would ever consider eating Goblin-cheese? Ghostwoods fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Sep 17, 2014 |
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Sep 16, 2014 22:41
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^^  It begins. Looks like you've got your work cut out for you, but it doesn't seem like they've come knocking quite yet. Better get mining, I guess.
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Sep 16, 2014 22:49
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DannyGlands' Personal Journal, 25th Granite 551 23 days into a siege by a goblin exploratory force is not the time for showing both me and the current overseer your lineage records. Even if Le_Jackal's mother is Mafol Mansionsabre, Baroness of Wanderedinks, there has been no declaration of Fogwall of a barony yet, we are still technically a exploratory outpost, and there's a bunch of goblins standing in the depot! If he starts making demands over anyone's head, I swear I'll throw eggs at him...
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Sep 16, 2014 23:49
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RIP Animals, you never even had the chance to slowly starve to death while ignored by all.Danny Glands posted:How weird is it that the first year bugs actually happened at the start of the second year? I don't think it's a bug really, just a symptom of the new 'living world'. Goblin civs are now coded not to send squads instead of theives in the first year, but will do so straight after. Anyway, there's a much more efficient way of dealing with these Goblins than serrated glass disks, and from the update it seems like our Overseer is onto it. Also, I know I've invested too much in this game when I cringed at the thought of our starting Miners being marched out the door to fight a full squad of gobbos.
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Sep 17, 2014 00:12
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With apologies to those who really wanted a specific dwarf, I won't be able to meet your preferences unless some migration wave really makes it easy for me - the dwarfing spreadsheet is tricky enough to keep track of already. By the way, I'm still experimenting with image sizes and things, so please let me know if the larger screenshots are better off timg'ed. --- From the records of symuun Cloisteredattic, Farmer, Overseer 6th Slate, 551 I ask the miners why they ain't dug the new tunnel yet. Paperwork, they says. The burrow restriction order don't say nothin' about new tunnels. So I updates the burrow order to specifically include the new zone, and now they're too busy attendin' a goddamn party. Unionised layabout jackasses. Meanwhile, I'm startin' work on the Mechanic's Workshop. 11th Slate, 551 Grey Hunter finally stoops to doin' her goddamn job.  That's Phase 1 done, then. It's a start. Incidentally... look, I'm a dwarf. I love all them dwarven things. Rocks an' fightin' and jewels an' artifacts an' all that stuff. Love it. An' especially fortresses an' fortress livin'. Just wanted to clear the air about that afore I mention that, well, the air ain't actually clear at all. We've been livin' in what we mechanical experts call a closed circulatatory system fer the past few weeks and there's nothin' to eat down here but egg stew. "Ripe" ain't the half of it. Hope we get to open these doors some time soon. 15th Slate, 551  Welcome t' the world, Scrree Yorewheels. It's full of eggy farts an' goblins fixin' to kill yer.  An' then - oh! It's almost too much fer me ter say!  Me own darling wife, GreyPwrVan, has given birth to a young 'un.  We've decided to call 'im Cavern Fodder Griffonbust. What a little rascal! 17th Slate, 551 Mr High An' Mighty gets an idea into his head.   Don't you worry, Le_Squide. All these doors is fer me secret anti-goblin project. They're goin' nowhere. 1st Hematite, 551  Phase 2's done. It be time. I reassemble the militia, an' this time they're callin' themselves The Armored Dabblers. They're right about half o' that name, anyway. I order 'em to the central stairwell. An' then... I unlock the doors.  Let's see if yon goblins still want to play. 4th Hematite, 551 Amazin'! The very minute we opened the doors, they all turned and ran. Ye'd better run, goblin filth! Next time we'll not go so easy on you. Stand down, lads. Job's a good 'un. Now then. About this bridge. And about goddamn time. 22nd Hematite, 551 Ghostwoods doesnae believe me that there was ever goblins out there at all. I tells him, Ghostwoods I says, if it wasnae goblins then what the hell was it? Elephants?, he says, kinda hopeful-like. Mebbes very small elephants? Aye, I says, the kind wi' two legs an' no trunk but silver warhammers instead. You go back to yer trainin', Ghostwoods. Somethin' tells me there'll be goblins aplenty soon enough fer ye to see. Our "baron" was gettin' ornery, so I gave him some quadruple-size rooms with furniture and that, just to shut him up. He says it's still not rich enough fer one of "noble blood" such as hisself, but we'll see how he feels once his wife finishes smoothin' it all up.  Other than that, he's not makin' any ludicrous demands and he still helps out with the farm work an' goblin-scaring, so maybe we'll let him keep the job. If he stays out the way, he's gotta be better than yer average noble. Not that it's my place to complain. 8th Malachite, 551 The missus has been actin', I dunno, a bit strange lately.  She's always got her head down, scribblin' away on bits o' paper. Can't make heads nor tails of it, meself.  Life goes on in the meantime, o' course...   Jon Joe Woundcities, they're callin' him. An' Liar Vangoon Auradagger is born the very same day.   Why d'they always come in groups, that's what I want to know. 'Slike there's some creepy synchronisation deals goin' around. I don't remember signin' up to anything like that before lil' Cavern Fodder were born. I'd ask the wife, but she's, well, indisposed. Hope she comes out of it all right.
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Sep 17, 2014 11:16
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I'm really enjoying these updates, symuun. You've got a good character going and good writing skills to go with it. I guess it helps that the fortress is small enough that you can focus on individuals and their relationships and still give a good sense of what's going on in the wider fort. Going to be much harder to do in a year or two.
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Sep 17, 2014 11:53
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8 Malachite. 551. Dig. DIG? they expect me, tha greatest military mind in generation to DIG! The clod running this place seems ta think that cowering in tunnel is the best way ta deal with goblins. Tha Dwarf knows nowt. See, may an mar mates know what to do with these nesh buggers - cold steel will sort em reet out! See if it don't! The proof is in the puddin. Soon as doors opened and we rush'd out ta cut un dine, they turn'n fled! Cowards! Now ta do me supposed job. Something nice about minin 'Tis reet relaxin. I did write this in full Potteries dialect, but decided that someone other than me should be able to read it! I've toned it back a bit, but have a look here if your interested in what I'm going on about)
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Sep 17, 2014 12:39
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Maugrim posted:I'm really enjoying these updates, symuun. You've got a good character going and good writing skills to go with it. Thanks! Yeah, I'm lucky to have a small, focused cast at this point, and even so I'm still only paying close attention to an even smaller number of dwarves. Hopefully enough of them will get the limelight for long enough to establish some fun running gags or plot lines, but if not, hey - that's what things like journals and fan art are for. Speaking of which, I'm loving all of these contributions so far. And Grey Hunter has found the true way to my heart: regional language nerdery. I'd not heard of the Potteries dialect before, but it sounds terrifying and exhilarating.
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Sep 17, 2014 13:06
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This term is off to amazing start. 
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Sep 17, 2014 22:04
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You should timg all the images because clicking on them isn't that hard and broken tables make me so unhappy I might just tantrum. You don't want the thread to go down in a tantrum spiral do you?
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Sep 17, 2014 22:43
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Elth posted:You should timg all the images because... ... because if you do that, you clearly want everyone to stop reading the thread.
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Sep 18, 2014 00:09
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Get a bigger monitor you poors.
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Sep 18, 2014 01:26
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I'm reading on a tiny screen and really broken tables are not that big of a deal. It takes like two button presses to view the bit you can't see in the images, and it's only a single post every two days or so. The posts look and read better with the images not timg'd. Sorry fellow people with small monitors, you should just get over it. 
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Sep 18, 2014 02:08
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Elth posted:You should timg all the images because clicking on them isn't that hard and broken tables make me so unhappy I might just tantrum. You don't want the thread to go down in a tantrum spiral do you? That's ok, that's why probations and bans exist. TIMG'ing your stuff should only be done if your pictures are over 1000 pixels wide. TIMG every image is a god drat chore.
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Sep 18, 2014 02:12
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and generally you aim for 800-1000 pix wide images. I am enjoying this overseership so far.
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Sep 18, 2014 03:48
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Appreciate the advice on the timg'ing - I've caught myself getting steadily more enthusiastic about image width over the course of this update, but I'll try and keep things to a more reasonable size in future. --- From the records of symuun Cloisteredattic, Farmer, Mechanic, Overseer 10th Malachite, 551     The baby-synchronisation conspiracy continues. Say hello ter Zore Groupedpulleys an' Tak Typhoonring, born very suspiciously within a few minutes of each other. 13th Malachite, 551  GreyPwrVan's not left her workshop in a while. She keeps drawin' pictures of stacks of leather, but we ain't got none since the goblins killed all our animals. Weren't much left but bones when we finally got back outside. She'll be all right, I'm sure of it. We'll get some migrants, right enough, an' they'll bring us some animal what we can skin for her. She'll be all right. Her an' the baby, too. 14th Malachite, 551 Well, I'll be buggered! I've got powers of prognostication, me.  There sure are a lof of 'em. Why, there's Vander Sabrereigns the shearer, Zomborgon Wheeledsearched the ranger an' their daughter Shuffle Laudedmountain. Then there's Neophyte Gateropes the fisherdwarf an' King Cohort Squirtstockade, who ain't actually a king 'cause he's really a fishery worker too. Zergle Merchantblots says he's a competent swordsdwarf, so he'll be goin' into the Dabblers an' maybe Ghostwoods'll learn a thing'r two from him. His wife Atomicthumbs Merchantglaze, well, she's a sorta generalist kitchen assistant. She'll find somethin' to do, I'm sure. The Mountainhomes're sendin' us a lot of fishery workers, that's fer sure. Elth Dutywall is another. Kennel Urnpaddles is a lazy miserable sod wi' few skills to speak of, but he's built like a brick shithouse, so we'll try him out in the Dabblers as well an' see how he gets on. LeJackal Dwellingclasps is a ranger like Zomborgon, an' that gives me an idea. I ain't plannin' on maintainin' a full-time marksdwarf squad right at the moment, but we can at least be ready to call 'em up when we needs 'em. LeJackal becomes the Militia Captain of the Mechanical Complexity, that bein' a name I suggested meself now that I knows all the secret ins an' outs of the mechanical trade. It be a complex business, right enough. An' best of all, they brought a baby horse with 'em!  Aw, lookit the lil' thing. Can't hardly walk upright, can he? Orv, get this'n on the choppin' block right now. Reading, I want its hide tanned afore the day is out, y'hear me?    There y'go, love. Told yer I'd look after it. You just get to work on whatever it is y'need to do now.  28th Malachite, 551 So I says to Velkest, I says to him, Velkest, wouldn't it be right good like if'n we used that platinum we found to stick a coupl'a statues on top o' the drawbridge? Sorta welcomin' sign for visitors an' migrants? Here be a bright an' wealthy dwarven future, sorta thing? So he says right y'are, Symuun, here's me first attempt.  An' I says, that's good Velkest, I like the dwarf theme ye've got goin' there, but mebbes fer the second one y'could do, I dunno, somethin' a bit more dramatic? A tale o' heroism, somethin' from the old legends, y'know? So Velkest, he gets this look on his face, and again he says, right y'are Symuun, I know just the thing.  An' I says, well, ter be honest with yer I was hopin' for a story where the dwarf doesnae get murdered horribly, but all right, I'll stick it out front fer the newcomers to see. At least they won't be gettin' their hopes up too much this way. 1st Galena, 551  Eee, she's done all right, our missus has. She's smart, that'n. Smart like a, like a giant octopus. Aye. One o' those. I bloody love giant octopuses, me.  I says to her, love, I'm right proud of yer an' I especially like the leather book - I had that horse slaughtered just for you, y'know! - but did y'have ter draw another picture o'that marsh titan murderin' yet another dwarf? She says it be allegorical. Whatever that means. Anyway, the woman's a legend among dwarves now fer havin' the sacred knowledge o' rock craftin' revealed to her, so I've set her to work makin' trinkets for the next caravan what comes along. I reckon she'll enjoy herself. 20th Galena, 551  We've run out o' wood for makin' beds an' barrels an' that. I've designated some trees for choppin', but even after gently persuadin' Ghostwoods to put his axe down fer a few minutes, nobody's pickin' it up to do the job. I ain't rightly sure what the problem is, an' as per bloody usual nobody feels like tellin' me. Guess I'll have to wait an' see if anyone works out for themselves what they're supposed to be doin'. As a stopgap, I've called off the first exploratory dig - there's nothin' but platinum on the level below the mausoleum, not the iron or bronze we needs - an' asked the miners to dig out the mysterious rocks at surface level what look exactly like tree roots. Mayhap that'll bring the tree above down, give us some logs t'work with while the woodcutters keep tryin' to find their arses from their elbows. True ter form, Darth Various an' Grey Hunter get around to it only when they drat well feel like it, an' the roots get cut but the tree stays standin'. No wood fer us. I am, if ye'll pardon the pun, stumped. --- In seriousness - anyone know what might be going on here? The axe is sitting in a weapon bin, the trees are designated and the woodcutters have the labour enabled, but they're just sitting around with No Job to do. There's no active burrow and Dwarves Gather Wood is set in the orders menu. Any suggestions?
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Sep 18, 2014 11:55
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Are the woodcutters still on active military duty? That's the only thing I can think of right now...
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Sep 18, 2014 12:35
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The other possibility is that the axe is still on military duty. Are there any other dwarves in the military who are eligible to pick it up?
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Sep 18, 2014 13:21
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Yeah, if not the dwarves being on duty it's probably due to the axe being flagged as needed for a military dwarf or something. Try setting the squad to inactive, and make sure they're not assigned to train in a barracks or anything at the moment. Or if that still doesn't do it, disband it (again :/). e: Spoilered for those not wishing to know about gamey exploits Dwarves can cut down trees with wooden training axes somehow, probably relishing the tree-on-tree violence. Once you get the first tree down, you can make a bunch of axes with it without having to go looking for weapons grade metals. Tiocfaidh Yar Ma fucked around with this message at 13:33 on Sep 18, 2014 |
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Sep 18, 2014 13:27
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Two words, overseer. Two words: Platinum. Warhammer. 
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Sep 18, 2014 13:47
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I think the two gate statues really speak to the two main stages of dwarf life. First you are a dwarf. Then you are murdered by a crazy swamp thing with a long, ridiculous name.
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Sep 18, 2014 14:36
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Moose King posted:I think the two gate statues really speak to the two main stages of dwarf life. First you are a dwarf. Then you are murdered by a crazy swamp thing with a long, ridiculous name. It's.. a.. circle...
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Sep 18, 2014 14:45
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The lustfull rawness of nature is a cool title. I hope we get to see this thing eventually.
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Sep 18, 2014 15:01
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Air is lava! posted:The lustfull rawness of nature is a cool title. I hope we get to see this thing eventually. Me to eh, thats a great name for a fortress's mortal enemy. We must fight it with fire and industry. Gridlocked fucked around with this message at 15:14 on Sep 18, 2014 |
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Sep 18, 2014 15:06
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So Nature, it's Lustful you say? And Raw. And its "root" has been "waxed". So how exactly is it killing that dwarf again?
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Sep 18, 2014 15:33
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Spanish Matlock posted:So Nature, it's Lustful you say? And Raw. And its "root" has been "waxed". So how exactly is it killing that dwarf again? Sensually
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Sep 18, 2014 15:53
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Spanish Matlock posted:So Nature, it's Lustful you say? And Raw. And its "root" has been "waxed". So how exactly is it killing that dwarf again? And in a "virtuous" swamp, no less.
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Sep 18, 2014 16:44
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