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Sally
Jan 9, 2007


Don't post Small Dash!
Chrono Trigger was awesome, and I think everyone should have the chance to play it--so here it is!

I have the cartridge with me right here.

Unfortunately, I don't have a controller, so I'm going to reconstruct the game from memory.

And, sadly, the game is supposed to run in DOS, and MSPaint doesn't emulate the sound correctly.

The game starts off with one of those clock thingies ticking against a black screen.*



When it stops moving, the title card appears on screen and you are prompted to start. Ominous! We'll be playing the New Game+++++++ option. This allows us to keep all items and levels from previous playthroughs, but ramps up the difficulty while unlocking extra areas and bosses. This is necessary if you want to view all 30 of the potential endings.

The opening track is one of my favourites of all time. It's a brilliant jazz-fusion opening, reminiscent of simpler times.

:megadeath: Chrono Trigger OST - Opening Theme :megadeath:

Anyways, Chrono Trigger doesn't waste time boring the player with a lengthy intro. No, it tosses you in right away to start having fun, leaving it up to the player to discover the storyline by exploring the environment and reading description on items. But first, it asks you to name your character. The default name is supposed to be "Chrono", but because of limitations in the Super Nintendo cartridges, they had to conserve memory, and they did that by limiting how many characters you can use in a name. That always annoyed me, but hey, what are you gonna do?



There he is, our hero.

Well, shall we keep the default name or call him something else? If you want to call him something else, please specify. Also note that "something else" will not work as a name because we are limited to only four characters.



Like I said, straight into the game. Your mom wakes you up in time to hear Lean's bell ring and you're kicked out the door to enjoy the Millenial Fair. Interesting thing to note: the game deals with a lot of hard-hitting sociological issues. You might not catch this if you don't pay attention to the environmental details or read item descriptions, but the two major cities in the game are called Lean and Poor on purpose, as a commentary on homelessness and poverty in major metropolitan areas. But we'll get into that later.

A particularly laid-back track plays as we are awoken.

:megadeath: Chrono Trigger OST - Morning Sunlight :megadeath:

What shall we do some exploring, or head straight to the fair?

A) Explore your house.
B) Explore the town of Lean.
C) Go to Luca's house.
D) Man, don't mess about--go straight to the fair.


*All updates appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to a real LP, live or archived, is purely coincidental.







courtesy of FactsAreUseless

FactsAreUseless posted:

My name is Gato and I'm hear to say
Fighting robots is the only way.
Don't do drugs or go to school
Beat up robots and you'll be cool.
People say you should learn to read
Fighting robots is all you need!

Level Seven posted:

He's a metal cat
And a big robot
It's time to say
You fought a lot


courtesy of nine-gear crow


courtesy of poorlywrittennovel

Sally fucked around with this message at 06:00 on Sep 9, 2015

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darealkooky
Sep 15, 2011

You sayin' I like dubs?!?
Cron said he would support Luca, and I think you should do a paragon run and keep your promises.

kalonZombie
May 24, 2010

D&D 3.5 Book of Erotic Fantasy
Choice A. Our mom owes us money for our chores.

Orange Fluffy Sheep
Jul 26, 2008

Bad EXP received
A) Explore your house we have a cat and clearly we must investigate said cat and its issues in Obama's America.

Obscil
Feb 28, 2012

PLEASE LIKE ME!
Name him NERD because he still lives with his mom.

A. I seem to remember there being some easter eggs in the house.

Level Seven
Feb 14, 2013

Wubba dubba dubba
that blew.



Megamarm
A. Loot the house for items.

As if any RPG hero would start by doing something else.

McDragon
Sep 11, 2007

A, Pet That Cat.

Also call him Len.

macfam
Dec 22, 2012
Option A

I've legitimately never played Chrono Tragger before but seeing how this is sure to be a 100% run with multiple playthroughs I'm certain I won't have to play it myself once this is over.

Rabbi Raccoon
Mar 31, 2009

I stabbed you dude!
Caulk the wagon and float it.

We'll get to the fair eventually.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


McDragon posted:

Also call him Len.

That or LNRD.

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..


E) go and beat up the local wildlife for a while, violence is always the answer

Captain Swiss
Jul 9, 2008

This thread needs to be about twenty percent cooler.
You should name our hero what he was meant to be called, CORN

Also Feed the cat like your mother told you to, you brat!

life_source
May 11, 2008

i got tired of looking at your edgy baby avatar that a 14-year old would be proud of
A

Aishlinn posted:

E) go and beat up the local wildlife for a while, violence is always the answer

I don't really remember this game too well, but I'm pretty sure this isn't what it is about.

In addition to the socio- and political commentary there is also exploration of several fields of science, extensive time travel theorizations, linguistic examinations, and a small animal husbandry simulator.

Also the tutorial takes like... 45 minutes? before combat is allowed. There is still gameplay, but other than punching a pink robot for bitcoins it's just minigames and cutscenes.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

This thread gets a thumbs up!

GorfZaplen
Jan 20, 2012

B, I want to see more of the hard-hitting social commentary.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Please name him Goku, which is 4 letters long.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013
Really? You didn't even have the sense to pick the "Repeat" thread tag?

0/10. Disliked. Unsubscribed.

Also D - go to the fair and get Marl pregnant by bumping into her.

Materant
Jul 22, 2010

see, what you don't understand is he now has

THE MANLIEST MUSTACHE

it defies physics


F - crunk out on the best poo poo you can find.

Kemix
Dec 1, 2013

Because change
Pffft. This is a no brainer. A Because mommy needs to give us our lunch money too.

Also. I second the naming of our protag NERD

Kemix fucked around with this message at 07:16 on Sep 20, 2014

Carbon dioxide
Oct 9, 2012

This sounds like a job for Cron. A cron job, if you will.

Broken Box
Jan 29, 2009

Goku has an obligation to pette all cattes so start with the one in your house.

I Am Just a Box
Jul 20, 2011
I belong here. I contain only inanimate objects. Nothing is amiss.

God, I remember playing this on a bunch of 3.5" floppies. If you can't get the emulation right, make sure to link the best tracks when they come up. This game's soundtrack was ahead of its time.

Levelling up is for wimps, show us your MLG skills and do a Richter run. Your name is RICH. You should A) Explore your house because you might find ancient ruins and you're going to fall behind if you don't clear those out before Mags does.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
I hope you picked the Master Key as your starting gift, so you can sequence break and E) Head on a trip of self-discovery down to Poor, to see how the other half lives.

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!

A) EXPLORE YOUR HOUSE and make sure to grab a little sump'n sump'n. Under your bed. You know what I mean. :wiggle:

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Roëmænce is ælive!
3:16) Hey mom! *KICK WHAM STUNNER*

Forgot. Name SCSA

Senerio fucked around with this message at 10:30 on Sep 20, 2014

Kaboom Dragoon
May 7, 2010

The greatest of feasts

What would Dash Rendar do?

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather
D Who cares for cats?

Also give him a more sensible name. Maybe "crow".
In honour of this guy.

Fister Roboto
Feb 21, 2008

Go get some coins so that you can insert them to continue. You'd think that would be obvious.

Rexides
Jul 25, 2011

Name yourself Luca for maximum LP efficiency.

A) Explore your house for potions and poo poo.

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Rexides posted:

Name yourself Luca for maximum LP efficiency.

A) Explore your house for potions and poo poo.

Actually, yes do that. And then you may do A and C at the same time.

Fister Roboto
Feb 21, 2008

> Take careful inventory of your cats

skoolmunkee
Jun 27, 2004

Tell your friends we're coming for them

I'm on team cat so let's go with A

I also think we should eat our lunch immediately and then complain about being hungry.

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.
Option A

Keep default name of CRON

Kite Pride Worldwide
Apr 20, 2009


Option A. Acquire cat.

Also Goku.

Tunahead
Mar 26, 2010

You should call yourself Crom and start your adventure by exploring your house. You gotta let people know you'd even rob your own mother. Crom is cruel and unforgiving because that's what it takes for the barbarian tribes to worship him.

Kaboom Dragoon
May 7, 2010

The greatest of feasts

Tunahead posted:

You should call yourself Crom and start your adventure by exploring your house. You gotta let people know you'd even rob your own mother. Crom is cruel and unforgiving because that's what it takes for the barbarian tribes to worship him.

How does Crom feel on the subject of cats? This is vital.

Tunahead
Mar 26, 2010

Kaboom Dragoon posted:

How does Crom feel on the subject of cats? This is vital.

Crom favors the cat, for it is as aloof and pitiless as himself.

That Fucking Sned
Oct 28, 2010

Follow in the footsteps of your father and defeat the archfiend Baramos, but not before taking a personality quiz.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

Air is lava! posted:

D Who cares for cats?

Also give him a more sensible name. Maybe "crow".
In honour of this guy.

Spoiler: the final boss of the LP is Leonard.

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Gologle
Apr 15, 2013

The Gologle Posting Experience.

<3
Option A

Also name him Goku or EDGE (Maverick) because who the gently caress names their kid "cron"

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