TexPol: abundant mosquitoes so big they can stand flat-footed and fuck a chicken

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > TexPol: abundant mosquitoes so big they can stand flat-footed and fuck a chicken

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ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

So in news about Perry's slush funds, in what I'm sure comes as a complete shock to absolutely no one, "An independent audit released Thursday said Gov. Perry's office failed to take basic record-keeping and compliance tracking efforts in awarding hundreds of millions of public funds to private companies through the Texas Enterprise Fund."

quote:

An independent audit of the Texas Enterprise Fund has found that roughly $222 million doled out from the fund went to companies that submitted no applications or made no promises to create jobs. The fund has been highly touted over the years by Gov. Rick Perry, who has said it was an invaluable tool to bring jobs to Texas and to stem the flow of jobs that might otherwise have left the state.

The audit, conducted by the Texas State Auditor's Office, was the first time the Texas Enterprise Fund's activities were reviewed by an outside agency. Among its findings, the report says that during 2004-2005, the fund did not require recipients to submit applications or create direct jobs for 11 projects that received awards totaling $222 million, roughly 44 percent of the $505 million awarded in total by the fund.

The report noted that a $40 million award in 2004 to then-Austin based Sematech Inc., a research consortium, had no requirements to create jobs, nor did the company submit an application for its funds. At the time of the award, Perry said the funding would allow Sematech to add 350 workers here, and economic research groups touting the award said it could eventually create up to 4,600 new jobs in the area. By 2007, the company had moved its headquarters to Albany, New York. [horns.aiff]

The auditor's report calls on policymakers to make significant revisions to how the fund is managed and overseen. Recommendations include better maintenance of records, the development of an objective scoring tool to evaluate fund applications, and a requirement for more detailed compliance reports from recipients. It also recommends that all award agreements and disbursements include such basic information as signature dates for all parties involved.

In a statement, Gov. Perry spokesperson Lucy Nashed defended the Texas Enterprise Fund as an essential tool for economic development in the state.
"The Texas Enterprise Fund is a critical deal-closing tool that has helped attract businesses to Texas that have in turn created thousands of jobs and billions of dollars in capital investment, and the Legislature has continued to recognize its value by reauthorizing it every session since it was created," reads the statement. "This audit confirms that funds awarded through the program have been allocated in accordance with state law. Administrative processes and procedures are regularly reviewed and updated as necessary to ensure effective, efficient and responsible distribution and oversight of all TEF awards."

The auditor's report also found that the governor's office did not consistently hold companies to the same requirements in order to get grants. For instance, the term "full-time" was not defined in 107 of the 110 award agreements that the auditor's office tested. The fund did not consistently withhold funding until recipients made good on job-creation requirements, the audit report noted, and 15 of the award agreements included provisions that required the disbursement of funds before recipients had complied with job-creation or other requirements.

What's more, the governor's office did not adequately monitor recipients adherence to job creation requirements, the report noted, making it hard for state officials to impose penalties for failing to do so.
The report also found that the governor's office did not ensure that terminated fund awards were returned to the state. The governor's office collected a total of $19.2 million in terminated fund awards, but should have collected an additional $3.8 million. The auditor's report chalks the difference up to errors made in calculations by the governor's office.

The report also found that the governor's office did not comply with statutory reporting requirements in its biennial reports on the fund. It noted that the fund's January 2013 report disclosed that recipients of funds were required to create 66,094 jobs, but did not disclose that only 48,317 jobs had been created.

The full report, 99 pages long, can be downloaded here.

I wonder if we'll ever find out how much these people donated to Perry's campaigns or if the grants came with strings attached like building in a specific area where he might profit from land sales and such.

ReidRansom fucked around with this message at 14:22 on Sep 26, 2014

# ? Sep 26, 2014 14:19

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 07:29

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Well the Tea Party won't care for that.

But yeah everyone has known for years that the TEF was Perry's personal petty cash fund for paying his best business buds.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 14:42

radical meme: Apr 17, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

ReidRansom posted:

So in news about Perry's slush funds, in what I'm sure comes as a complete shock to absolutely no one, "An independent audit released Thursday said Gov. Perry's office failed to take basic record-keeping and compliance tracking efforts in awarding hundreds of millions of public funds to private companies through the Texas Enterprise Fund."

I wonder if we'll ever find out how much these people donated to Perry's campaigns or if the grants came with strings attached like building in a specific area where he might profit from land sales and such.

How do you spend your entire adult life in politics and walk away a millionaire? I'd really love for Perry to go down in flames in the 2016 primaries and then turn around and write an honest to God tell all book about every slimy land deal and under the table transaction he engaged in, then ride off into the sunset giving the finger to everybody in Texas.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 15:08

Eggplant Squire: Aug 14, 2003

radical meme posted:

How do you spend your entire adult life in politics and walk away a millionaire? I'd really love for Perry to go down in flames in the 2016 primaries and then turn around and write an honest to God tell all book about every slimy land deal and under the table transaction he engaged in, then ride off into the sunset giving the finger to everybody in Texas.

Seriously if this was China that would set off red flags. The fact that these guys can get rich like that while complaining about welfare queens is outrageous.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 15:15

Sardonik: Jul 1, 2005; if you like my dumb posts, you'll love my dumb youtube channel

The fact that this is the first time that the Enterprise Fund is being audited is perhaps the only surprising part of this. :psyduck:

At least somebody is trying to push accountability.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 16:03

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Sardonik posted:

The fact that this is the first time that the Enterprise Fund is being audited is perhaps the only surprising part of this.

At least somebody is trying to push accountability.

Considering literally the head of every state agency in Texas was appointed by Perry, there was no way it was going to happen before he was on the way out.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 16:09

Dante Logos: Dec 31, 2010

zoux posted:

Considering literally the head of every state agency in Texas was appointed by Perry, there was no way it was going to happen before he was on the way out.

So much for weakening the power of the governorship.

In a more reasonable world, this would open questions on how Abbott would run things. Whether he would continue Perry's little fiefdom. But of course not.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 16:17

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

He won't. He'll be empowered to only put his own people into appointed positions once current terms are up.

It's only a problem if you have a Governor in power for a long long time and it's only happened once.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 16:20

e_angst: Sep 20, 2001; by exmarx

zoux posted:

Considering literally the head of every state agency in Texas was appointed by Perry, there was no way it was going to happen before he was on the way out.

And Perry was within arm's reach of getting to appoint the head of the department handling state corruption issues after Rosemary Lehmberg's drunken fiasco. That's why he wanted he out so bad, as he would have been able to make the appointment until the next election was held, and that was literally the only agency in the entire state that could do anything to him that he didn't already control.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 16:22

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

I'm kind of shocked that there were nominally an application process and strings attached to payments out of the fund. I figured it was a de jure slush fund in addition to a universally-recognized de facto one.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 16:34

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

BTW the same thing happened at CPRIT, where they were just giving out grants without going through the proper channels.

# ? Sep 26, 2014 16:35

Sardonik: Jul 1, 2005; if you like my dumb posts, you'll love my dumb youtube channel

You have to admit though, the scale of the graft is pretty impressive. Everything's bigger in Texas, even graft!

# ? Sep 27, 2014 02:38

SALT CURES HAM: Jan 4, 2011

So is there even a remote chance of Wendy winning?

e: Genuinely not trying to threadshit or anything, I just want to know if this is actually a realistic thing to hope for or if we're all completely hosed.

# ? Sep 28, 2014 05:44

Twinty Zuleps: May 10, 2008; by R. Guyovich; Lipstick Apathy

I think the hope for her candidacy has always just been to build momentum for the future when the demographics have turned against the Republicans. No one expects anything more than squeezing the GOP's wallet on Texas a bit more than usual, as far as I can tell.

# ? Sep 28, 2014 06:05

Number_6: Jul 23, 2006; BAN ALL GAS GUZZLERS

(except for mine); Pillbug

SALT CURES HAM posted:

So is there even a remote chance of Wendy winning?

e: Genuinely not trying to threadshit or anything, I just want to know if this is actually a realistic thing to hope for or if we're all completely hosed.

Pretty sure it would take a **major** gaffe or scandal to shift things enough for that to happen. Like probably even bigger than Clayton Williams' "rape is like the weather" joke in 1990 when he lost to Ann Richards.

# ? Sep 28, 2014 07:21

i say swears online: Mar 4, 2005

While Abbott's not the greatest candidate, Republicans have plenty of other reasons to turn out strong in Texas this year. She's got no chance, and so a lot of resources are going to registration drives and infrastructure-building.

Her ads have been terrible and so was her debate performance. I finally saw a decent ad from her today touting a reduction in standardized testing, but that's been the brightest blip from her campaign since spring.

i say swears online fucked around with this message at 07:41 on Sep 28, 2014

# ? Sep 28, 2014 07:38

ComradeCosmobot: Dec 4, 2004; USPOL July

Guess who's "proven" how corrupt Battleground Texas is? :smug:

# ? Sep 29, 2014 21:32

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

ComradeCosmobot posted:

Guess who's "proven" how corrupt Battleground Texas is?

Ah yes the classic, lie about committing a crime to someone then expose them as criminals when they don't immediately report you to the police! Brilliant journalism!

# ? Sep 29, 2014 21:42

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Trabisnikof posted:

Ah yes the classic, lie about committing a crime to someone then expose them as criminals when they don't immediately report you to the police! Brilliant journalism!

Well, you know how ACORN doesn't exist any more...

# ? Sep 29, 2014 21:43

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

zoux posted:

Well, you know how ACORN doesn't exist any more...

Luckily Battleground Texas isn't funded by the federal government.

Although this has lead me to learn that O'Keefe had to pay 100K to the woman that got fired in the ACORN scandal.

# ? Sep 29, 2014 21:51

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

The Lt. Gov's debate is tonight at 7. Watch on KLRU or stream on statesman.com.

Here 's hoping Van De Putte unleashs the Sickest Burn yet again.

# ? Sep 29, 2014 22:14

Dante Logos: Dec 31, 2010

1stGear posted:

The Lt. Gov's debate is tonight at 7. Watch on KLRU or stream on statesman.com.

Here 's hoping Van De Putte unleashs the Sickest Burn yet again.

As long as Van De Putte wins, I know the "Republic" will be safe.

# ? Sep 29, 2014 22:22

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Has anyone seen any polling in the Lt. Governor's race?

# ? Sep 29, 2014 22:25

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

zoux posted:

Has anyone seen any polling in the Lt. Governor's race?

Van De Putte: :smith:

The guy with an (R) behind his name: :unsmith:

Edit: I couldn't find anything recent but that's what I bet it shows.

# ? Sep 29, 2014 22:32

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

zoux posted:

Has anyone seen any polling in the Lt. Governor's race?

Zoux, man, I love your optimistic heart but come on, the well known far right Texan dude is gonna win this.

# ? Sep 29, 2014 22:34

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Yeah, but the Latino vote!

# ? Sep 29, 2014 23:13

Sardonik: Jul 1, 2005; if you like my dumb posts, you'll love my dumb youtube channel

zoux posted:

Yeah, but the Latino vote!

The Latino vote which is notoriously difficult to get to the polls. :sigh:

# ? Sep 29, 2014 23:28

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

My prediction for the debate is that Van de Putte will say a bunch of correct stuff, and that Patrick will just scream incoherently about some dumb poo poo of another that he made up and that he will be considered the winner because of that.

# ? Sep 29, 2014 23:51

Badger of Basra: Jul 26, 2007

Let's all hope for some misogyny to make this race interesting.

# ? Sep 29, 2014 23:53

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

Broken link, check below.

1stGear fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Sep 30, 2014

# ? Sep 30, 2014 00:59

karlor: Apr 15, 2014; College Slice

take a shot every time Leticia says "prescription"

e: take a shot every time Dan says "lower your property taxes"

karlor fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Sep 30, 2014

# ? Sep 30, 2014 01:04

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

Apparently the Statesman stream is just re-airing an old primary debate. Actual stream can be found here.

Ahahaha holy poo poo patrick just called Wendy Davis an anarchist.

1stGear fucked around with this message at 01:21 on Sep 30, 2014

# ? Sep 30, 2014 01:09

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

1stGear posted:

Ahahaha holy poo poo patrick just called Wendy Davis an anarchist.

He's also referring to 20-week fetuses as "5-month-old babies" :gop:

# ? Sep 30, 2014 01:25

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

"The higher your property value, the lower your tax rate will be _{_{_{and sales taxes will be raised}}}! This will definitely help the average middle-class family and is not completely aimed at the wealthy!"

# ? Sep 30, 2014 01:32

karlor: Apr 15, 2014; College Slice

Yes! He used the gently caress-the-poor seesaw again!

karlor fucked around with this message at 02:04 on Sep 30, 2014

# ? Sep 30, 2014 01:38

Setset: Apr 14, 2012; Grimey Drawer

Van de putte may win on the issues, but man is it a beating listening to her try to enunciate every single syllable.

e: sounding a lot better at the conclusion

Setset fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Sep 30, 2014

# ? Sep 30, 2014 01:51

Sardonik: Jul 1, 2005; if you like my dumb posts, you'll love my dumb youtube channel

Texas, the last hope for the country. :911:

E: Christ, dude looks like the villain in a 70s/80s high school movie.

Sardonik fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Sep 30, 2014

# ? Sep 30, 2014 01:53

Goatse James Bond: Mar 28, 2010; If you see me posting please remind me that I have Charlie Work in the reports forum to do instead

Dan Patrick, noted crazy person and Texas Lieutenant Governor frontrunner, after repeatedly accusing his opponent of wanting to turn Texas into California, accidentally proposed that tax increases be subject to public referendum.

# ? Sep 30, 2014 03:19

SirKibbles: Feb 27, 2011; I didn't like your old red text so here's some dancing cash.

GreyjoyBastard posted:

Dan Patrick, noted crazy person and Texas Lieutenant Governor frontrunner, after repeatedly accusing his opponent of wanting to turn Texas into California, accidentally proposed that tax increases be subject to public referendum.

Dan Patrick, noted crazy person and Texas Lieutenant Governor frontrunner also thinks rape and incest exceptions are things to be debated and not something that would justify women taking up arms, oh excuse me exercising their 2nd amendment rights.

# ? Sep 30, 2014 03:35

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 07:29

Grand Theft Autobot: Feb 28, 2008; I'm something of a fucking idiot myself

1stGear posted:

Apparently the Statesman stream is just re-airing an old primary debate. Actual stream can be found here.

Ahahaha holy poo poo patrick just called Wendy Davis an anarchist.

It would own so hard if she actually was an Anarchist.

# ? Sep 30, 2014 03:40

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