Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
hambeet

Okay, so there's this thing at work i've been putting off and procrastinating on for months and it's been stressing me because of the amount of work it was going to take.


i uhh just did it in two hours. :suicide:


i'm a loving idiot.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

hambeet

Matthew Beet posted:

i'm a loving idiot.

shame there's no sigs in BYOB. this is going in my sig.

webmeister

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Matthew Beet posted:

oh you're not in the cool club.

Matthew Beet posted:

i'm a loving idiot.

Sounds like a wicked sick club you got there!

Splode

put some clothes on you little freak
I just got zero for an assignment because I 'incorrectly submitted it'

For this assignment, I taught myself how to use sony vegas pro with zero prior experience. And yet, I couldn't work out how to use the software they wanted me to submit ~*personal reflections*~ in, because apparently they're too cool for microsoft word.

This is a finance subject I have to do. gently caress University.

XyloJW
it has been the day from hell for me. the baby goes to take his afternoon nap at 1 pm and after 15 minutes the dog, laying right next to him, starts barking loudly because he thought he heard a person walk by outside. the baby wakes up and is fussy and tired but unwilling to go back to sleep for 4 hours. during that time, the slightest thing drives him into a tantrum wherein he throws his head at the ground, and then gets even more upset. then he finally falls back asleep, but only sleeps for an hour. in that time, the cat comes in and hangs out. when the kid wakes up, the cat gets territorial and hisses and scratches the kid any time he gets near. the kid seems unwilling to learn, and repeatedly tries to pull the cat's tail, gets scratched, and cries. the cat refuses to give ground, even getting closer to the kid a few times. eventually I manage to get the cat to leave the room (he took a few swipes at me on principle).

while I'm cooking dinner, the kid pulls off his diaper, pees on the floor, and slips and falls in it. I clean him up, get him changed, and while I go grab the mop, he slips and falls in the pee again. after I mop, I go grab a towel to dry the floor, and in that 10 second time, he runs over to the just-mopped area and slips and falls again. there's nothing on that side of the room, even. the only reason he was running over there was because I was trying to keep him away.

I have no idea how single parents survive, because I was counting the minutes till my wife got home.

XyloJW

webmeister posted:

Sounds like a wicked sick club you got there!

hm you don't have pms so I can't send you my facebook info. I guess ask someone in IRC, there's bound to be someone who can hook you up.

Cartoon

poop

I used to get an icy "so what?" stare when I complained about a day of parenting. Zero sympathy on the day Miss Four hit me in the nuts with a two foot wooden dolly. Thanks Honey. Ah Memories :allears:

hambeet

XyloJW posted:

it has been the day from hell for me. the baby goes to take his afternoon nap at 1 pm and after 15 minutes the dog, laying right next to him, starts barking loudly because he thought he heard a person walk by outside. the baby wakes up and is fussy and tired but unwilling to go back to sleep for 4 hours. during that time, the slightest thing drives him into a tantrum wherein he throws his head at the ground, and then gets even more upset. then he finally falls back asleep, but only sleeps for an hour. in that time, the cat comes in and hangs out. when the kid wakes up, the cat gets territorial and hisses and scratches the kid any time he gets near. the kid seems unwilling to learn, and repeatedly tries to pull the cat's tail, gets scratched, and cries. the cat refuses to give ground, even getting closer to the kids a few times. eventually I manage to get the cat to leave the room (he took a few swipes at me on principle).

while I'm cooking dinner, the kid pulls off his diaper, pees on the floor, and slips and falls in it. I clean him up, get him changed, and while I go grab the mop, he slips and falls in the pee again. after I mop, I go grab a towel to dry the floor, and in that 10 second time, he runs over to the just-mopped area and slips and falls again. there's nothing on that side of the room, even. the only reason he was running over there was because I was trying to keep him away.

I have no idea how single parents survive, because I was counting the minutes till my wife got home.

Our kids should hang out.

My youngest yesterday tantrumed because he was tired and his sleep was interrupted too. So he alternated between screaming that he did want an apple and that he didn't want an apple. Whenever I took it to him he would scream no, would throw it away from him and flail. So I'd go to put it on the bench and then he'd scream that he wanted it and flail. So I thought I'd be clever put it on the coffee table near him but no he then would slump onto the floor in a screaming sobbing mess because the apple was near him, but he didn't want it not hear him.

That went on for 45 minutes.

In the end I ate the apple in front of him and got him another. He screamed when I started eating it but was happy with the new apple and ate it :confused:

loving kids.

hambeet

that said I'll rue the day my son learns to take off his nappy by himself. it'll be poo poo central.

hambeet fucked around with this message at 04:48 on Oct 27, 2014

Coq au Nandos

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

XyloJW posted:

while I'm cooking dinner, the kid pulls off his diaper, pees on the floor

Your kid should talk to my neighbour.

XyloJW

Matthew Beet posted:

loving kids.

poor kid. :( good thinking with eating the apple.

Matthew Beet posted:

that said I'll rue the day my son learns to take off his nappy by himself. it'll be poo poo central.

he hasn't quite worked out how it works but a couple times he's tugged at it in just the right way and got out. it's always a disaster.

Cartoon posted:

I used to get an icy "so what?" stare when I complained about a day of parenting. Zero sympathy on the day Miss Four hit me in the nuts with a two foot wooden dolly. Thanks Honey. Ah Memories :allears:

thankfully we both take turns doing the parenting thing, so we both understand how insane it is.

hambeet

XyloJW posted:

poor kid. :( good thinking with eating the apple.


I ate it out of spite. it tasted so good.

quote:


he hasn't quite worked out how it works but a couple times he's tugged at it in just the right way and got out. it's always a disaster.

:stonk:

I'm sooo glad he hasn't tried that yet. My friends son did it once and he coined the incident as the 'poonami'

Coq au Nandos

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
So yesterday aside from watching some public urination I did nothing, had no responsibilities beyond some light cleaning and cooking lunch and caught up on 4 hours of TV.

XyloJW

SKY COQ posted:

Your kid should talk to my neighbour.

I don't think hurling a roll of toilet paper will help him though.

is it still out there, by the way? did they take the roll inside?

hambeet

SKY COQ posted:

Your kid should talk to my neighbour.

lol

Coq au Nandos

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
fite me irl internet dads

hambeet

XyloJW posted:

I don't think hurling a roll of toilet paper will help him though.

is it still out there, by the way? did they take the roll inside?

I was actually thinking about this yesterday when I visited my olds and was reminded of the neighbours daughter who as an intellectual disability. She does similar antics, pooing / peeing in their driveway, out the front. The neighbours driveway I mean, not my parents.

Coq au Nandos

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

XyloJW posted:

I don't think hurling a roll of toilet paper will help him though.

is it still out there, by the way? did they take the roll inside?

The roll has vanished.

the -other- roll, from her first throw that missed a bit low, is still on the next balcony down, ready to confuse the gently caress out of whoever lives there.

Coq au Nandos

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Matthew Beet posted:

I was actually thinking about this yesterday when I visited my olds and was reminded of the neighbours daughter who as an intellectual disability. She does similar antics, pooing / peeing in their driveway, out the front. The neighbours driveway I mean, not my parents.

I wondered if it might be that but she seemed really together. I just don't know. I hope it wasn't that. :ohdear:

hambeet

SKY COQ posted:

The roll has vanished.

the -other- roll, from her first throw that missed a bit low, is still on the next balcony down, ready to confuse the gently caress out of whoever lives there.

Curious: how many balconies are in toilet paper roll throwing range?

XyloJW

SKY COQ posted:

The roll has vanished.

the -other- roll, from her first throw that missed a bit low, is still on the next balcony down, ready to confuse the gently caress out of whoever lives there.

hahah, I had wondered what would have happened if she'd missed.

hambeet

SKY COQ posted:

I wondered if it might be that but she seemed really together. I just don't know. I hope it wasn't that. :ohdear:

Nice work. Gonna push over any people in wheel chairs this week coq?

XyloJW

Matthew Beet posted:

Curious: how many balconies are in toilet paper roll throwing range?

good arm though if she got it on the second try. I can't imagine toilet paper rolls are the most aerodynamic thing to throw across the street and down a few stories.

Coq au Nandos

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Matthew Beet posted:

Curious: how many balconies are in toilet paper roll throwing range?

Four stories beneath the one I photographed yesterday, and a massive penthouse balcony above that I once nearly hit with a champagne cork. We could also conceivably pull off some trick shots to get balconies on our own building. There are also a couple of courtyards and a pool that she'd really need to wind up to hit.

Drugs

I don't like people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example - Albert Einstein

XyloJW posted:

it has been the day from hell for me. the baby goes to take his afternoon nap at 1 pm and after 15 minutes the dog, laying right next to him, starts barking loudly because he thought he heard a person walk by outside. the baby wakes up and is fussy and tired but unwilling to go back to sleep for 4 hours. during that time, the slightest thing drives him into a tantrum wherein he throws his head at the ground, and then gets even more upset. then he finally falls back asleep, but only sleeps for an hour. in that time, the cat comes in and hangs out. when the kid wakes up, the cat gets territorial and hisses and scratches the kid any time he gets near. the kid seems unwilling to learn, and repeatedly tries to pull the cat's tail, gets scratched, and cries. the cat refuses to give ground, even getting closer to the kid a few times. eventually I manage to get the cat to leave the room (he took a few swipes at me on principle).

while I'm cooking dinner, the kid pulls off his diaper, pees on the floor, and slips and falls in it. I clean him up, get him changed, and while I go grab the mop, he slips and falls in the pee again. after I mop, I go grab a towel to dry the floor, and in that 10 second time, he runs over to the just-mopped area and slips and falls again. there's nothing on that side of the room, even. the only reason he was running over there was because I was trying to keep him away.

I have no idea how single parents survive, because I was counting the minutes till my wife got home.

I'm sure this was extremely stressful for you but the mental image of a child slipping in his own pee over and over again is very funny

hambeet

SKY COQ posted:

Four stories beneath the one I photographed yesterday, and a massive penthouse balcony above that I once nearly hit with a champagne cork. We could also conceivably pull off some trick shots to get balconies on our own building. There are also a couple of courtyards and a pool that she'd really need to wind up to hit.

Halloween is coming up. Get a bunch of cheap toilet paper, draw some pumpkins and surprise your neighbours!

Coq au Nandos

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Matthew Beet posted:

Nice work. Gonna push over any people in wheel chairs this week coq?

I hope not :(

hambeet

Haters Objector posted:

I'm sure this was extremely stressful for you but the mental image of a child slipping in his own pee over and over again is very funny

Yeah the image was kind of amusing but I can see it from xylo's point of view and i'm all like :glomp:. sucks.

hambeet

XyloJW posted:

good arm though if she got it on the second try. I can't imagine toilet paper rolls are the most aerodynamic thing to throw across the street and down a few stories.

actually I was thinking about it, I think they actually would throw very well. they're very light but have enough heft / density to not get caught by the wind easily and you're not gonna break a window or anything. you can also write stuff on them.

Splode

put some clothes on you little freak

Haters Objector posted:

I'm sure this was extremely stressful for you but the mental image of a child slipping in his own pee over and over again is very funny

Maybe xylo should invest in a slide whistle

hambeet

SKY COQ posted:

I hope not :(

:(

XyloJW

Haters Objector posted:

I'm sure this was extremely stressful for you but the mental image of a child slipping in his own pee over and over again is very funny

much like Beet ate the apple out of spite, the third time he slipped and busted his rear end, my reaction was less concern and more confusion. "did you think it would be different this time???"

hambeet

was a loving great apple

Matoi Ryuko


That kid is going places! I think they should just make safety gear that little kids can wear, they're just so good at hurting themselves...

Portals

Matoi Ryuko posted:

That kid is going places! I think they should just make safety gear that little kids can wear, they're just so good at hurting themselves...

but then how will they learn??

Matoi Ryuko


Portals posted:

but then how will they learn??

Dodgeball?

XyloJW
it's a good idea, because any time he gets upset, he throws his head around. today he seriously hit his head on tile on purpose.

Divorced And Curious

democracy depends on sausage sizzles
xylo why didn't you kill two birds with one stone?

Divorced And Curious

democracy depends on sausage sizzles

XyloJW posted:

it's a good idea, because any time he gets upset, he throws his head around. today he seriously hit his head on tile on purpose.

if babby had bike helmet this not have happened

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

plumpy hole lever

♥ Anime is real ♥
One hour meeting and when I come out there are forty new posts about piss


Whoever said nominative determinism didn't exist is an idiot

  • Locked thread