Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens - Choose Your Own Adventure

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens - Choose Your Own Adventure

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Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Basscop posted:

L
CRAP THUNDER

We have the fish might! L CRAP THUNDER

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:37

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 09:15

Walrusmaster: Sep 21, 2009

B stand up, point, and hopefully send electricity back through our outstretched accusatory finger

edit: B+F

Walrusmaster fucked around with this message at 02:51 on Nov 1, 2014

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:37

Numeron: Mar 23, 2012; A whole new world in
the palm of my hand.

Did the bolt hit us, or our shield?

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:38

Dammerung: Oct 17, 2008; "Dang, that's hot."

Basscop posted:

L
CRAP THUNDER

Vzotzinz fzr zhiz! (Voting for this)

Edit, changed to Plan Foxterrier (B + F)

Dammerung fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Nov 1, 2014

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:38

Crudus: Nov 14, 2006

G ahahahaha

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:39

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:39

Arkanomen: May 6, 2007; All he wants is a hug

D
Protect Snarls

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:39

Tsyni: Sep 1, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

Voting for a variation of this:

Let's show him lightning he's never seen before, fish lightning.

Imagine a giant shark's tooth in our mind's eye, picture the feeling we had when Shushem launched the lightning at Tudiya. Channel a small portion of [???] and fire fish lightning at Jesbaam's sword arm.

Tsyni fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Nov 1, 2014

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:41

Task Manager: Sep 5, 2008; A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.

Crudus posted:

G ahahahaha

This.

You mooks really charged right at him, with tactics like that we should give up.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:42

Sogol: Apr 11, 2013; Galileo's Finger

B gzzzlaughzzzz inszapleny

It's... it's... Aliiiiive!

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:42

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Numeron posted:

Did the bolt hit us, or our shield?

You are not certain. It moved faster than you could keep track of, which would probably be a first for pretty much anything? You have amazing eyesight.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:42

Tomn: Aug 23, 2007; And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands

Hey, you guys remember Azzazel?

You remember Azzazel's lesson? His last lesson? The one about humility and accepting aid from others when you are in need?

Call upon El already!

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:43

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

IRC bit posted:

21:43:36 | <Everseen> guys, this is a fight just like one of my animes
21:43:43 | <Everseen> so we have to get zapped like 10 more times
21:43:48 | <Everseen> and keep standing up
21:43:54 | <Everseen> then he'll surrender to friendship
21:43:54 | <Diog> If you are zapped 10 more times everseen, you will die. You are not an anime.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Nov 1, 2014

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:44

Greggster: Aug 14, 2010

B

We stand tall, we stand erected.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:45

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

IRC snippet posted:

21:39:32 | <nobody> B was with the shield up
21:39:45 | <nobody> i guess the lighting went around it
21:39:52 | <Everseen> its lightning dude
21:40:00 | <McSpanky> no, the lightning hit it
21:40:01 | <nobody> it made sense to believe it could block it
21:40:15 | <nobody> guess, it's not an "absorb magic" shield
21:40:22 | <Everseen> in what world is a shield impermeable to lightning?
21:40:32 | <Everseen> like the Norc cast Power Word: Implode or some poo poo
21:40:37 | <McSpanky> and somehow the shield that tanks magic monsters and godwords folded like a pair of deuces against a bog loving standard taser zap
21:40:48 | <Diog> You may recall when the Norc did... whatever it did, it dented your shield and probably broke your arm?
21:40:56 | <Diog> That was the first thing to ever damage your shield?
21:41:00 | <nobody> and this is lovely lyghting
21:41:00 | <Everseen> why didn't we get the symbol of that really angry smiting Melachim?
21:41:06 | <Tomn> Interesting that almost nobody is voting to call upon El.
21:41:06 | <nobody> it made sense to think it would block it
21:41:06 | <Diog> Perhaps your shield WAS magic? Though you don't have precise details on how it works or how magical it is.
21:41:10 | <Everseen> he'd probably help us to kill a murderer
21:41:10 | <Diog> It could just be strong and tough?

Answer to IRC question posted:

21:47:40 | <DCBomB> Everseen I don't think our spear is all metal
21:47:49 | <Diog> The shaft is wood, dcbomb
21:47:55 | <Diog> With some metal in it too
21:47:56 | <Diog> But mostly wood

Diogines fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Nov 1, 2014

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:46

ClothHat: Mar 2, 2005; ASK ME ABOUT MY LOVE OF THE LUMPEN-GOBLITARIAT
protip: trust no links I post

Ok I've carefully studied the archives and learned that Tudiya was in a similar fight where he was shot with lightning, the solution was surprisingly simple, all we have to do is just cut off our opponents head.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:46

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Diogines posted:

You are not an anime

But we already have the requisite sexy fish god that loves to consume human fluids :confused:

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:47

FoxTerrier: Feb 15, 2012; Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

B + F, Stand while calling out to El

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:47

Tomn: Aug 23, 2007; And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands

FoxTerrier posted:

B + F, Stand while calling out to El

Good point, let's meet him halfway.

Changing my vote from F to B+F.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:48

Everseen: Apr 27, 2010

D.

Throw our spear!

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:50

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

Slaan posted:

But we already have the requisite sexy fish god that loves to consume human fluids

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:52

SerSpook: Feb 13, 2012

I don't know, I think Everseen might be onto something!

F Yell out to El for help.

Seems like he really prefers us to yield and be taken prisoner. He doesn't believe in El. Maybe we can get some El-mojo working here?

edit: B as well as per FoxTerrier

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:54

White Noise Marine: Apr 14, 2010

Everseen posted:

D.

Throw our spear!

This

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:54

DCBomB: Sep 14, 2008

K SHEEP FUCKER

Diog, did Jazzhands make us poop?

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:55

Absum: May 28, 2013

B

Not voting after all

Absum fucked around with this message at 02:59 on Nov 1, 2014

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:55

Trundel: Mar 13, 2005; + =
- a sound investment!

Alright, back in the thread. There's no way that Enkidelcan grasp how electricity works, is there?

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:55

ShotgunWillie: Aug 30, 2005; a sexy automaton -
powered by dark
oriental magic

B&F

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:56

Aades: Nov 28, 2005; Guns Up!

F

K too

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:56

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

grasp, no. contemplate between electric shocks, yes.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:56

Basscop: Jun 4, 2010; Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

Everseen posted:

D.

Throw our spear!

Changing vote to this.

Gotta go to sleep, hope i don't wake up dead

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:57

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

B+F

Despite my earlier IRC comment, I think it's highly likely that the lightning did in fact hit our shield and the shield took most of it. As Diog later mentioned, his warning shot exploded a large block of stone, while we're made of meat and we didn't explode.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 02:57

Dammerung: Oct 17, 2008; "Dang, that's hot."

FoxTerrier posted:

B + F, Stand while calling out to El

This

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:02

Tomn: Aug 23, 2007; And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands

My friends, this battle is not a battle of mortal men. This is not a test of our courage, our strength, or our skill. We are not here to prove our own ability, and our purpose is not to win glory and renown for ourselves. This day, we do El's work. We fight for His justice, and in His cause, to punish wrongdoing and eliminate evil. Let us not in our pride insist upon relying on our own mortal strength, but instead reach out for He whose battle we fight now, He whose power is beyond comparing, He whose cause we have served faithfully and well! Call out to El, and ask that He lend us the strength to do His work! EL HA MELECH KOL HA OLAM!

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:03

ColonelMuttonchops: Feb 18, 2011; Young Orc

FoxTerrier posted:

B + F, Stand while calling out to El

This

I wish we knew if we blocked some of that with our shield, now I dont know if I'm allowed to be dissapointed about goons making the wrong votes.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:06

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Response to IRC question:

quote:

22:05:40 | <Tomn> Hey Diog, remind me, DOES Zepathan culture do the whole capital pronoun thing in relation to El? I forget.
22:06:15 | <paragon_the_lich> written language is pictographic tomn
22:07:02 | <Tomn> Could be an equivalent, with special pictographs used to denote divinity.
22:07:41 | <DCBomB> If it's captial, it has a sixth finger on each hand
22:07:52 | <HiHoChiRho> Diog: you can't post that without context
22:07:53 | <Diog> El's name is never written.
22:07:59 | <Diog> It has no symbol.
22:08:34 | <Diog> Trying to represent El in writing or make a statue of him is absolutely verbotten.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:08

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Going afk for a bit, voting remains open for another 20 minutes.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:09

Harvey Baldman: Jan 11, 2011; ATTORNEY AT LAW
Justice is bald, like an eagle, or Lady Liberty's docket.

B, and once we've shaken the very immediate effects of getting 1.21 jiggawatted: The dangerous part of this sword, at least as far as lightning is concerned, seems to be the tip. It looks like the lightning moves very fast, but that also means that it likely goes in a straight line wherever the sword is pointed.

Focus our ??? on the tip of the sword and continue to push it down towards the ground during our next attack. We've got some latent telekinesis or something that we've been training with Ish for god knows how long. Even if we nudge the tip of the thing a bit off-target, it might be what we need to create an opening if we can get him to miss a shot.

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:11

Deadly Ham Sandwich: Aug 19, 2009; Smellrose

Tomn posted:

Hey, you guys remember Azzazel?

You remember Azzazel's lesson? His last lesson? The one about humility and accepting aid from others when you are in need?

Call upon El already!

My vote is for "EEELLLLLL!"

Edit: team embarrass Enkidel is pleased by this course of events. His rear end tumbled from a little electricity. I hoped he pooped himself.

Deadly Ham Sandwich fucked around with this message at 03:29 on Nov 1, 2014

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:23

falcon2424: May 2, 2005

FoxTerrier posted:

B + F, Stand while calling out to El

B+F

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:25

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 09:15

Rahul: Dec 10, 2004

El is our BFF!

# ? Nov 1, 2014 03:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens - Choose Your Own Adventure

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