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Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007
:swoon:

Here's my date:



Denim Merman

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Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

erm... quack-ward
Thunderdome 2015teen: Full of sound and failure
Thunderdome 2015teen: You didn't GET my story

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again

Thunderdome Flash Fiction Competition: don't be the best, just be better than the worst

Phobia
Apr 25, 2011

I'm a suave detective with a heart of gold in hot pursuit of the malevolent, manipulative
MIAMI MUTILATOR
and the deranged degenerates who only want their
15 MINUTES OF FAME.


OCK.
I'm in with this happy couple.

quote:

Happy Together Grooms Merman Christmas Ornament from December Diamonds are two handsome grooms dressed in white with intertwined tails ready for their honeymoon.
Yeah we'll see about that.

Also: Thunderdome 2015teen: Black Jesus's Fedora-Tipping Magical Realism Jamboree.

Or maybe we could just reference how Crabrock totally missed his goal by a mile.

Jonked
Feb 15, 2005
I'm in with fifty merman

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
I'm in, and so is my friend the Yin-Yang Merman.


"I'm totally ready to open the blood gates."

J.A.B.C.
Jul 2, 2007

There's no need to rush to be an adult.


Out of town this week, so Out for me.

Though not as out as some of these mermen. Some of these well-muscled mermen...

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again

Thunderdome Flash Fiction Writing Competition Where You Only Have A Small Word Count So You Really Need To Make Sure That Every Last Word Counts

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.

Bad Seafood posted:

:siren: Ironic Muffins Brawl :siren:
Granting an extension till Friday on this because it's Christmastime and also I am a huge softy.

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER

Phobia posted:

Blatant theft

Those gay mermen are mine!

Just kidding there's enough of em to go around.

curlingiron
Dec 15, 2006

b l o o p

Thunderdome 2015teen: We Said FLASH Fiction, Not SLASH Fiction!

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




Thunderdome 2015teen: Your Story is a Perfect Snowflake

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006
Thunderdome 2015: Weekly Short Stories w/ Positive People

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022




Yes.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
Chairchucker, shouldn't your merman be part manta ray instead of part fish?

docbeard
Jul 19, 2011

In with a very special delivery from:



But even at the height of this season of handsome fellows with fish parts, Underwater Santa King Neptune II must also have his due:

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Bad Seafood posted:

Granting an extension till Friday on this because it's Christmastime and also I am a huge softy.

Lolllllll

(lol)

kurona_bright
Mar 21, 2013
In with Mario merman.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

erm... quack-ward
haha brawl extensions, you softies

<Entenzahn> sebmojo
<Entenzahn> do you want to brawl
<sebmojo> no
<sebmojo> with you?
<Entenzahn> yes
<sebmojo> not yet
<sebmojo> who have you defeated?
* sebmojo shakes robes out and steeples fingers
<Entenzahn> Martello, in a high-stakes no-holds-barred brawl
<sebmojo> hm
<sebmojo> who else?
<Entenzahn> Muffin and docbeard, which was totally all me and not Meeple
* sebmojo twirls long, waxed moustache
<sebmojo> intriguing.
<sebmojo> anyone else?
<Entenzahn> sebmojo two weeks from now
* sebmojo nods
<sebmojo> i will smite your ruin upon the mountainside
<Entenzahn> Let me fight, master
<Entenzahn> It is so
<sebmojo> post this chat log in the challenge

<sebmojo> also you will probably win because i am bad

:toxx: Let's do this :toxx:

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Entenzahn posted:

:toxx: Let's do this :toxx:

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again

Tyrannosaurus posted:

Thunderdome 2015: Weekly Short Stories w/ Positive People

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW

Entenzahn posted:

haha brawl extensions, you softies

<Entenzahn> sebmojo
<Entenzahn> do you want to brawl
<sebmojo> no
<sebmojo> with you?
<Entenzahn> yes
<sebmojo> not yet
<sebmojo> who have you defeated?
* sebmojo shakes robes out and steeples fingers
<Entenzahn> Martello, in a high-stakes no-holds-barred brawl
<sebmojo> hm
<sebmojo> who else?
<Entenzahn> Muffin and docbeard, which was totally all me and not Meeple
* sebmojo twirls long, waxed moustache
<sebmojo> intriguing.
<sebmojo> anyone else?
<Entenzahn> sebmojo two weeks from now
* sebmojo nods
<sebmojo> i will smite your ruin upon the mountainside
<Entenzahn> Let me fight, master
<Entenzahn> It is so
<sebmojo> post this chat log in the challenge

<sebmojo> also you will probably win because i am bad

:toxx: Let's do this :toxx:

gonna publicly congratulate you on your win against me right now, because that's what I should have done back when it happened

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

erm... quack-ward
Oh! Thanks. Good brawl, man.

In that light, congratulations Mercedes, Lake Jucas, Djeser, Djinn, Djeser, Broenheim, Sitting Here & sebmojo, it's been a busy year

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






:siren: Sebmojo vs. Entenzahn :siren:



Write about something you hate. Make me hate it too through your character(s)' eyes. Spare no expense in belittling, berating, and slandering said object, person, place, activity, idea, time period, dance move, common appliance, app, or water-dwelling mammal (crustaceans are off limits).

Obviously, write an actual story, not a vignette. Also actually follow the loving prompt, this isn't rocket science. Don't try to get cutesy and argue with me later that really love is the most extreme form of hate or some bullshit. Just straight up wreck something. I want to read pure, unadulterated hatred.

You have a week and fifteen hundred words.

If they are not in by the time I sip sparkling cider on Jan 1st, I will report your toxx. I am not as soft as the doof.

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 8, 2007

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe

Tyrannosaurus posted:

Thunderdome 2015: Weekly Short Stories w/ Positive People

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.


#Schindler's List # Oskar Schindler #Liam Neeson #Movie Quotes #Steven Spielberg

226 notes

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

Entenzahn posted:

haha brawl extensions, you softies

<Entenzahn> sebmojo
<Entenzahn> do you want to brawl
<sebmojo> no
<sebmojo> with you?
<Entenzahn> yes
<sebmojo> not yet
<sebmojo> who have you defeated?
* sebmojo shakes robes out and steeples fingers
<Entenzahn> Martello, in a high-stakes no-holds-barred brawl
<sebmojo> hm
<sebmojo> who else?
<Entenzahn> Muffin and docbeard, which was totally all me and not Meeple
* sebmojo twirls long, waxed moustache
<sebmojo> intriguing.
<sebmojo> anyone else?
<Entenzahn> sebmojo two weeks from now
* sebmojo nods
<sebmojo> i will smite your ruin upon the mountainside
<Entenzahn> Let me fight, master
<Entenzahn> It is so
<sebmojo> post this chat log in the challenge

<sebmojo> also you will probably win because i am bad

:toxx: Let's do this :toxx:



Bad Seafood posted:



#Schindler's List # Oskar Schindler #Liam Neeson #Movie Quotes #Steven Spielberg

226 notes



Sitting Here likes these posts

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Tyrannosaurus posted:

Thunderdome 2015: Weekly Short Stories w/ Positive People

haha this owns

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES
Merry Christmas, 'Domers. Peace on Earth and Goodwill to you all.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
Merry Christmas. I hope none of you are paralyzed or afflicted with some horrific disease. I hope your acquaintances bring you desired material goods, and I hope you did not spend too much on theirs. I hope your food is palatable, and your homes adequate. I hope your deity of choice looks upon you with favor, and that your reasonable wishes come true within a short while. I hope your offspring -- for those of you who have some -- do not disappoint you in their endeavors.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









merry christmas maggots

if you should die in a gasoline fire today, i trust your death will be swift and your funeral lavish

docbeard
Jul 19, 2011

May your stories be unprefaced
May your whining be absent
May your judgment be fast and good

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

I'm bokeh, you're bokeh

Tyrannosaurus posted:

Thunderdome 2015: Weekly Short Stories w/ Positive People

Throwing my vote in for this

Also, Merry Domemas, hope this forum chugs along until the next one

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER
Merry Christmas, Thunderdome. May the streets run with the blood of our enemies.

docbeard
Jul 19, 2011

Critique for ZeBourgeoisie.

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER
Thank you! And Merry Christmas!

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
Posting my story early because I don't know if I'll have internet access Sunday. :(

Cold Beach, Cold Beer

Prompt: A Christmas ornament shaped like a tattooed metrosexual merman

Words: 1452


The breeze coming off the ocean was cold, but the beer and the campfire helped, though it did jack for the chill deep inside. I grabbed another beer from my bag, popped the top, and took a deep chug. I winced.

Bitter. Skunky. Appropriate.

My backpack tipped over. One of the cans rolled down toward the water, and I shrugged -- gently caress it, the ocean gets a beer tonight. I watched the silvery can as it was carried away by the dark water. I saluted.

Bon voyage, Natty Light.

A hand burst out of the water and grabbed the can submerging without a trace. I blinked, then smirked. I must've gotten wasted faster than usual -- there is no way I saw that.

The hand returned, offering a cheery thumbs-up. I poured out my beer.

"What the gently caress! Don't dis the brew, bro!" A voice like quicksilver boomed from the ocean. I watched in amazement as a being of indescribable majesty rose from the deep, his toned, tanned body glistening with moisture, moonlight reflecting from his cheap plastic shades. One hand held a beer, the other reached out to me in a plaintive gesture.

I stared.

The immaculate, yet strangely familiar man dove beneath the waves, then appeared at the shore, easily dragging himself up the sand with his toned arms. He pulled himself beside me and opened his beer.

"I been watching you, Ben."

I looked at him. Beneath his silver, ruby-studded belt down he was all fish-tail; his scales shone like well-oiled leather. He grinned.

"Surprised, huh? Yeah. You come out here every weekend, get drunk, and bitch about your life to nobody at all. Always the same depressing poo poo.

"But that comes to an end, my friend! Tonight you paid tribute -- tonight you reap the reward." He opened the beer and drank it, crumpling the can and setting it with my other empties. "I'm gonna help you."

"You're going to...?"

He laughed. "By the time I'm done, you will be drowning in buds and babes!"

"...the merman is going to teach me how to drown?"

He glared. "Whoa. Not cool. That is our word, bro."

"Sorry," I muttered.

"Forget it." He reached into my pack and grabbed another beer. "We only got a few more hours 'til daylight, and I got a lot of wisdom to lay on you. You ready to receive? No homo."

I nodded, still a little unbelieving.

"Cool," he said. The he revealed the secrets of the universe to me.


***


The weather was still lovely, but at least the rain stopped and I got a nice blaze going. Then I started the campfire. I had my backpack of beer nearby as always, but I wasn't hate-chugging tonight -- my week had gone too well for me to need it. I reclined against the smooth boulder, joint in hand, an easy smile on my face. Would he show again? He said so, but he also said he had his own things. I'm okay with that. Hell, I'm okay with a lot now.

I went into class last Monday tired and hosed up on beer and cosmic wisdom -- and I was surprisingly relaxed for it. He told me to talk to people, and I did. He told me to stop worrying, and I did. He told me I'd be all right, and I am.

I heard a splash, and there he was, crawling up the shore. He grinned up at me, doing a quick twenty push-ups before flopping beside me and snatching a beer from my bag.

"Gotta work on the triceps, man. Arm day, yo." He popped the tab and took a sip, smacking his lips. "Hey, you got the good poo poo! Nice, nice."

"You were right," I said. "About everything. It's like... gently caress, I can't describe it. Everything is just so easy now. I don't think I've ever been so at peace with myself."

"You ask her out yet?"

"Not yet." I looked away, then took a hit, holding it in to savor the sweet smoke.

"Hey, pass that poo poo," he said, gesturing to my joint. Still holding my breath, I passed it to him.

"Best part of being on dry land is the weed," he said. "But poo poo, son, I told you -- ask that bitch out! What's the worst she gonna do, cut your balls off? Even so, better to have balled and lost than to not have had balls at all."

"What's your name?"

He frowned and flicked away the stub of my joint. "You're a bro, but you're not a bro, bro. Besides, you couldn't even pronounce my real name."

"What can I call you, then?"

He sighed. "Just call me Brad. Now dude, you gotta promise me -- ask her out."

I swallowed. Well, the merman -- Brad, rather -- hasn't steered me wrong yet.

"All right, man," I said, handing him a beer and opening one for myself. "I'll do it."

He beamed. "That's my bro."


***


Her lips were soft and sweet against mine as she shivered in my arms, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't just from the cold. She broke the kiss and gave me a shy smile, her chocolate-tinted lips and deep brown eyes big and bright in the light of the full moon.

"So this is it, huh? Your special place?" She looked around, drinking in the scenery. "It's as nice as you said."

I let her go and started the fire with easy, practiced motions. It felt strange to share this private little place with someone else. Even weirder to share it with someone like Kara. As soon as I had the fire started I motioned for her to sit with me against my boulder, and she snuggled in close to share the warmth and bask in my presence. We spent a long time in one another's arms, quiet and comfortable.

"Ben, I... I wanted to thank you," she said.

"Why? I mean, it was just a burger-"

"Not about dinner, dummy." She nipped the tip of my nose. "For asking me out last Monday. For breaking the ice. This week's been great -- I don't think I've ever been with anyone so sweet or had so much fun just hanging out."

I felt my cheeks burn and I looked away. "I'm just surprised you didn't laugh in my face. Hell, I'm half-convinced you're just humoring me, and that you're going to leave me after tonight."

"I might if you keep putting yourself down. C'mon babe, where's your confidence?" She straddled my lap and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Maybe I just need to wake it up?"

I looked up at her, the fire in my cheeks growing, but I found the strength to resist her -- for now. It was too soon, too much, too fast. She sensed my hesitation, and she adjusted herself to be less... distracting.

Christ, I'm a coward.

"So," she said, clearing her throat, "why is this place special to you? It's nice, but you don't seem to be the kind of guy to appreciate an ocean view."

"My older brother used to take me here Sunday nights." I rested her head on my shoulder. "We used to come out here and bullshit when I was a kid. I always felt so cool sitting out here, taking sips off my brother's beer while he told me the facts of life."

"Aw, that's sweet." She laughed. "Where is he now?"

It hurt to answer her. "He's gone. One day he drank too much and swam too far -- I never saw him again."

She was quiet for a long time; she'd seen the hurt on my face, I could see it in her eyes. She buried her face in my neck and left a trail of comforting kisses, her arms warm as they held me. When she finally mustered the courage to speak again, her voice was quiet.

"What was his name?"

I heard a splash from the ocean.

"Ben." She repeated herself. "What was his name?"

"Bradley," I said.

"I think your brother would be proud of you." She touched my cheek, and I touched hers.

I glanced at the ocean and smirked. I nudged my bag, and a can of beer tumbled down the beach into the water.

She noticed the beer roll down the beach. "Aren't you gonna get that?"

"Naw," I said with a growing smile. "The ocean gets a beer tonight."

I watched the silvery can as it was carried away by the dark water. I saluted.

Bon voyage, Natty Light. And bon voyage, Brad.

Grizzled Patriarch
Mar 27, 2014

These dentures won't stop me from tearing out jugulars in Thunderdome.



:siren: 3 Hours left to sign up, for all you latecomers! :siren:

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.
While we're on the subject, only six hours left for Muffin and Twist.

Don't think just because I'm the kinda guy who'll extended a deadline means I won't call in a toxx.

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crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






in

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